Remembering Winter
by ichigosmoothie
Summary: After Aizen abandoned Soul Society, Hinamori lost all memories of Hitsugaya. Years later, they meet again in the living world and fate took control in ways that neither one could have expected. HitsuHina
1. Calm Before the Storm

Remembering Winter

Chapter one: Calm Before the Storm

--A/N--

Well, this is my first fanfic! Well… not first _ever_, just … first that I liked enough to share. Hmm… so I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to write up here… but I really would like it if you would scamper down there and smack that 'review' button when you're done reading. It gives you brownie points!

Carrying on…

At this point it doesn't matter where you are in the anime/manga of bleach, But later chapters require you to be finished with the Soul Society Arc do to spoilers.

Reviews… are love! And love is good!

Disclaimer: I don't own bleach. And I'm really not looking forward to coming up with some witty comment to put here every time.

---

Hinamori gazed into the translucent summer night, her eyes staring into infinity at the glowing stars overhead. The night was hers and hers alone, to do with as she pleased. Occasionally, a figure or two dressed in black passed by the fifth division's quarters, but no one ever caught the petite lieutenant perched on the roof. Feeling a chilled breeze flutter through the trees and then whisper against her glowing skin, she pulled her blanket tighter around her arms before settling in once again.

_I wonder if Shiro-Chan does this anymore. _She thought to herself, remembering when they were just children and they would sneak out of bed on summer nights and watch the stars together. She smiled lightly at the memory that she was so fond of. Her smile gently slipped away as she recalled that he was a _tachio_ now, and had no time for such trivial things. Inwardly, she scolded herself. _I should be happy for him. No, I am happy for him. I can't let my feelings take over. _

She knew it was foolish. Being jealous of a position of all things. He was a wonderful captain. With a smile she wondered just how he had gotten all of Seiretei perpetually fearful of him and his icy exterior. Deep down, he was still the same snowy-haired midget who ate watermelons like there will be no tomorrow and spat the seeds at oblivious victims. Unfortunately, the time when he truly _was_ that person has long since been frozen away. Only at times was she able to thaw away a part of him for a short time before it froze over once again.

Speaking of freezing, at that moment another soft hush of chilly air dripped down her neck and she pulled the already tight blanket closer to her. Shivering, she decided that this evening was a bit to cool for her preference and was about to get up to leave when an extra layer was placed over her. Turning her head slightly she saw that it was the pure white of a captain's haori. _Aizen-Taicho_ she thought, as he had caught her on the roof on many various around so she could smile up to her beloved captain she was shocked to turn into not the gentile and warm brown eyes of her taicho, but the icy turquoise ones of Hitsugaya. Hinamori merely stared for a moment, shocked. _What… why is he here? _Her stomach clenched together at the very sight of him, standing next to her with a smirk plastered over his features. Without his captain's haori he looked just like the average shinigami… except for the part of his uniform that was lazily left askew, revealing more of his sculpted chest than she had ever seen him show. Heat rose to the pale skin of her face at the sight of it...

"Hinamori?"

Momo's eyes darted into his, while silently hoping that she hadn't stared long enough for him to catch her.

"H-hai?" Momo stuttered, forcing the blush in her cheeks away.

Hitsugaya's icy scowl turned into a smirk.

"I was simply wondering if you were ever going to snap out of the daze you were in."

"Mou, Shiro-Chan, you're so mean." She pouted up at him.

"It's Hitsugaya-Taicho, and I apologize for stepping in right as you were leaving, so I'll let you-"

He was interrupted by a firm grasp on his uniform and a nearly shouted "No!" from Hinamori.

As she regained her composure, she let go on his uniform and smiled up at him.

"Please, Hitsugaya-kun, don't leave. I was only getting up because it got a little bit too chilly, but I'm fine now!"

That was when she realized that she really _was_ fine. She was actually feeling warm. _Wow,_ she thought, _I never knew the captain's haoris were so warm…even though Hitsugaya's is sleeveless… _then she realized that the haori wasn't making the difference, but Hitsugaya's riatsu was. _The cold breeze I felt must have been him… _

He smiled down at her, in her own little world once again.

"Then wont you at least ask me to sit down?"

She rolled her eyes childishly at him as he sat down next to her, his forearm barely grazing hers.

--

Out of the corner of his eye he drowned his eyes in her beauty. The soft moonlight gave her skin a near translucent glow that overwhelmed him. Her hair wasn't in its usual bun, and draped down her back in gentile auburn waves.

He was dragged out of his thoughts by a voice.

"Shiro-Chan?" She asked, still staring into the stars overhead.

"It's Hitsugaya-Taicho, and what is it?"

She turned to look at him in the eyes with a playful smile on her lips

"How long were you standing behind me?"

Toshiro's mind drew a blank. _What do I say?_ He frantically thought to himself. It would be quite stupid to tell her that as soon as he sensed her riatsu he flash-stepped all the way to her.

Once he calmed the frantic battle in his mind he turned towards her.

"Long enough to feel your riatsu fluctuate. What were you thinking about?"

He knew that whatever came out of her mouth next would be a lie, judging by the red that crept into her cheeks and her eyes breaking the contact.

"N-nothing, Shiro-Chan. Nothing at all. I-I just have so much to do lately and… and… "

_There's no point in even _pretending _to listen to the rest_

"…Aizen. Oh! And then all of our division is completely being…"

_Aizen again. Is she all she ever talks about?_

"…Helping with paperwork. Do you get a lot of paperwork? Because we sure do! Sometimes I think that…"

_She's rambling. It's so cute when she gets flustered. Her eyes get wide… and her face gets a cute tint to it. And those lips... _

He gulped.

For as long as he could remember he had been able to keep those _certain_ thoughts from making their way into his head. As of late, it became nearly impossible to avoid them whatsoever. Every little thing she did, every time they came in contact with each other, shivers swirled down his spine and he resisted the light blush that always seemed to flush into his cheeks.

Just yesterday, she ran into his office with no knock- as usual. After having a brief conversation with Matsumoto, she walked over to his desk and leaned over his shoulder to see just what he was writing. A few stray strands of her hair tickled his face and her neck was so close. It would be so easy to lean over and… then he realized he wasn't breathing. Taking a large breath, he soon saw his mistake. Her scent was weaved with the surrounding air and the sweet smell of peaches burned itself into his mind, and shut down any thinking process left. Needing an escape, he mumbled that he had a captains meeting to attend to and left her alone in his office.

"_Baka._" Hitsugaya muttered under his breath at his own stupidity.

"Eh?" Hinamori looked at him with a look of confusion and hurt in her eyes.

_She had still been talking, hadn't she? _

"Not you, bed-wetter" He smirked at her, "I was just thinking about something that happened a few days ago… don't worry."

Any trace of any emotion other than Hinamori's usual giddiness disappeared.

"Shiro-Chan?"

_Is there even any point in correcting her?_

Deciding that no, there was no point, she never listened anyway and he might as well save his breath he looked over at her with a "hmmm?"

"Shiro-Chan… do … do you still watch the stars… every night? Like… like we used to do?"

Hitsugaya leaned back on his hands and looked up at the dark sky once again.

Every night, as if it was a habit that he was unable to break, he at least checked the stars overhead from the window in his office. Occasionally when he had little paperwork, or when his often drunk lieutenant, Matsumoto actually _did _her share of the paperwork, he would go and sit on the roof of the tenth division. Just like tonight. He hadn't known Hinamori did so as well.

"Not really. I don't have much free time for stargazing, like you do, apparently." he replied sharply.

"Oh... "

Hitsugaya mentally slapped himself. Wrong thing to say...

Hinamori was looking down at her hands that looked as though they were strangling each other in her lap. Hitsugaya couldn't visibly see her expression, but he knew that a sad smile had taken over her features. He had seen it too many times before. Usually by his own stupid fault.

_Damn it. _Hitsugaya scolded himself, _Why do I do this? Why do I push her away?_

He had such strong feelings for Hinamori, but as long as he could remember, he never let them show. He wanted so badly to be close to her, for her to be _his_, and _his alone_… but what would be the point? Whenever her _"Aizen-Taicho" _entered the room, Hitsugaya was soon forgotten. Aizen was her everything. He was just her friend.

_Friend. _

The word echoed in his mind. How could a word that means so much cause him so much hurt and loneliness? Did it make it better that he was her "best friend"? No, of course not. There were places of her heart that he would never be able to reach, no matter how far he strained to grasp them. That was how it was, and how it always would be.

"I'm sorry, Hitsugaya-Kun," The sweet voice of his companion dragged him back to reality "I should have known that you wouldn't. It's obvious, really. You are very… busy now." Hinamori looked up and met his eyes "I'm sorry. It was very silly of me."

That's what he loved about her, wasn't it? Even if she were hurt beyond all reason by someone, she would sacrifice her own feelings for them. To make the person that hurt _her_ feel better.

"Don't be sorry. You worry too much, Bed-Wetter Momo" Hitsugaya smirked over to her.

"Mou, Shiro-Chan, you're so mean." Hinamori pouted playfully back.

And, just like that, they were back to the way they were, and always had been.

_Friends._

Even if that wasn't exactly what he wanted, he did _need_ her beside him, no matter what. Her breaths were his heartbeats. Her smiles were his sunshine. Her laughter was his music. Her life was his most prized possession.

_I will protect you; _Hitsugaya vowed silently as she leaned back and rested on his chest, _if you need me, I will be there. I promise… Momo. _

He didn't know how long they sat under the blanket of night, but not before long he felt her slow and heavy breathing and noticed that all of her weight was pressured against him. Not that he minded. It felt perfect, like they just _fit _together_._ No matter how much Toshiro wanted to stay in that moment forever he knew that they would both be quite sore if they awoke to the hard ceramic tiles of the roof as a bed. With that, he gently lifted her up in his arms. When she let out a mumble and she shifted in his arms he held his breath, afraid that he had woken her. As if sensing his stiffness, she clutched the front of his haori and snuggled into his chest, clearly still unconscious.

_Thank god. _Hitsugaya thought as he let his held breath out slowly.

Leaping off the roof, he landed gracefully one-footed on the ground.

_She really can sleep through anything, cant she? _

Hitsugaya opened the door to her quarters and then into her bedroom. Shifting her feather-like weight onto one arm, he pulled back the blankets draped over her futon and laid her down as gently as he could before covering her up.

"Goodnight, … Momo" he whispered as he brushed a few stray strands of auburn out of her face and let his hand stroke her cheek before getting up to leave for his own quarters.

Starting toward the door to leave he felt a tug on the sleeve of his haori. He abruptly turned around to see a heavy-lidded Hinamori looking up at him, as if she was still in a dream.

"… Hitsugaya…?" she murmured through her lips that were still kissed by sleep.

"I'm sorry- I didn't mean to wake you up. I just thought that-"

"No, that's not It." she cut him off "I'm cold."

"Ill get you another blank-"

"No." she cut him off more sharply this time.

"Well, Bed-Wetter, what do you want me to do then?"

That was when she smiled.

_Oh no. _Hitsugaya thought, totally unaware of what she could possibly want him to run around all of Seiretei trying to find for her. This had not been the first time she had made nearly impossible requests of him in the middle of the night.

Hinamori scooted away from the middle of her futon that she was currently occupying, and patted the space next to her while pulling the blankets back, signaling for him to lay down.

"Body heat." she sleepily smiled at him

"Go back to sleep, Hinamori" he replied fatly, pulling her covers back up to her neck "ill go find you more blankets."

Hinamori took that opportunity to grab his wrist before he was able to leave. She was _not _taking 'No' for an answer. It was time to get this over with, and win. She was getting close to falling asleep again, and she didn't want to be cold when she did.

Putting on her best puppy eyes, she looked up at him with a pout on her face.

_Oh no… _Hitsugaya thought as he felt his resolve slipping away instantly.

"… Unless… unless you just don't want to be… near me…"

"Hinamori… you and I both know that's not true."

"Well you sure have a strange way of showing that you care, then."

Hitsugaya mentally rolled his eyes. _Holy hell. What have I gotten myself into? Next she'll start crying. I don't think I can withstand that…_

"…Please, Hitsugaya?" The puppy eyes had disappeared from her eyes, leaving a determined plea in their depths.

_Why is this such a big deal to her?_

"Fine…" he muttered in defeat as he pulled back the covers and slumped down next to Hinamori on her futon. Turning his head to face her he muttered "I hope you're happy." before turning over on his side, and his back to her.

A few silent minutes passed by, and he wondered if she was asleep yet. That question was easily answered when Hinamori's voice broke the icy silence.

"Shiro-Chan?" she questioned the night air.

"Its Hitsugaya-Taicho."

She took that as a _"what?"_.

"… Please?"

Hitsugaya sighed. Quite audibly. Then he rolled over onto his back, stretching his arm out for her. He could feel her smile of victory smother the room as she cuddled up to him, her head resting on his chest. Hitsugaya couldn't help but grin as he wrapped his arm around her waist and felt her sigh deeply.

"Arigato, Shiro-Chan."

"Baka."

That was the first night in a long time Toshiro fell asleep with a smile on his face.

--A/N--

Reviews are brownie points!

And everyone can use some brownie points!


	2. Sudden 'Promotion'

Remembering winter

Chapter Two: Sudden Promotion

--A/N--

So, you see; I'm pretty much going through the whole soul society arc, and putting everything in Hitsugaya and Hinamori's point of view. Since, well, a lot of stuff happens with them and whatnot. And I was pretty disappointed that they didn't go into all that fluff deeper. I like fluff. =]

And I have gotten a few 'I thought this would be sad's. Well, believe me, it will be sad. But I have to build up! It'll get there, I pinkie swear. Currently, I'm following the plot. Later- I'll change it. Because I'm awesome like that.

Enough of my rambling.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. If I did, I wouldn't need to write fanfics.

----

The pale sunlight of early morning leaked in through the crease in the curtains and spilled into a golden pool on the floor. It had melted over to the foot of Hinamori's futon, just barely illuminating the room. Hitsugaya faded back into reality, and although he was used to waking up to frozen sheets, today he was surrounded in warmth, and he welcomed the change.

_Five more minutes… _he thought as he curled up to the heat source.

His eyes darted open at the soft moan that vibrated into his neck and how he realized the heat source had curled up to him as well.

He rapidly clenched his eyes back together again, wondering if this was some dream he had awoken into. Gingerly, he opened his eyes, one at a time, and clearly saw that this was no dream. Even if it had been a dream, it wasn't necessarily a bad one…

One of Hinamori's arms was sprawled across his chest, and was flat against it. Hitsugaya traced the other arm up to his head, where that hand was lost in his soft, white hair. Her face was nestled into his neck, and somehow through the night their legs had become intertwined.

Hitsugaya's heart skipped a beat at the sudden realization of the close proximity they were sharing and, as if she felt it through her palm faced-down over his heart, she opened her mouth against his neck and moaned ever so softly.

"…_Toshiro_…" was the only word that passed her lips.

A wave of some un-experienced emotion crashed into Toshiro and plunged through his whole body. As long as he had known her, she had never spoken his first name, unless accompanied by 'Hitsugaya'. It was always 'Shiro-Chan', 'Hitsugaya-Kun', or just plain 'Hitsugaya'. The mere fact that she not only _said _his name, but the way she _moaned_ it, sent an electric shock down his spine.

Deciding that this would be a good time to wake her up, before things got … difficult, he softly rubbed his hand up and down her back.

" Hinamori? Its time to get up."

Hitsugaya paused, expecting her to show some signs of, oh, living. Sighing, and turning towards her while supporting himself with his elbow he wondered how many lieutenant meetings she had been late for due to her hibernation.

He was about to attempt waking her a bit more roughly this time by grabbing her arm, but he stopped himself after seeing her so peaceful. Hinamori's eyes were lightly shut and any trace of any other emotion other than pure bliss was swept away while she dreamt. Smiling, Hitsugaya reached a hand over and brushed stray strands of auburn off her face and traced the warmth of her cheek. Hinamori subconsciously pressed her face into his palm, and a small smile blossomed on her sleeping lips. Leaning down over her sleeping form, Toshiro gently pressed his lips against her forehead, letting them linger on the silky skin for a few delicate moments before pulling away.

With a sigh, Hitsugaya held Hinamori's forearm and gently shook her.

" Come on, Bed-Wetter. You have to get up at some point in time today. "

A small, disgruntled noise came from Hinamori as a furrow appeared on her brow.

"…Mmmmpphhf."

Hitsugaya rolled his eyes. _W__hat does it take to wake her up?_

He considered for a moment to go find he eleventh squad's lieutenant, Yachiru, to help him out with her obnoxious voice, but shuddered at the idea of having the pink haired brat bombard in here calling him 'Shorty'. _He _was taller than _her. _And, he was sure Hinamori wouldn't appreciate being jumped on first thing in the morning. Therefore, he could barely restrain his happiness when one of Hinamori's deep brown eyes slowly opened, as if testing the water. The other one followed close behind.

"...H-hitsu…gaya…?" she murmured groggily through a veil of sleep.

" Yes. Now come _on._ Its time to-"

" What time is it?" she cut him off with shocked eyes.

Hitsugaya looked behind him to the small clock on the table next to the bed

" Wow, Bed-Wetter, I think you set a new record for the longest sleep in Seiretei history. " he teased " Its twelve-thirty."

" Hmph." she pouted " Its not like _you _woke up bright and early yourself, Shiro-Chan."

She had him there. And if he told her that he actually _did _wake up earlier and spent who knows how long simply staring at her…

He opened his mouth to fight back when he was silenced by a gasp from bed buddy. Hinamori had abruptly shot up leaving Toshiro behind on the futon.

"… Hinamori? What are you doing…? " He scowled up at her.

She looked across the room at the clock and stared at it wide-eyed with disbelief.

" Hm. shocked that you can sleep that late, eh? " Hitsugaya teased with his trademark eyebrows.

With that, Momo threw back the covers and leapt from the futon. Toshiro could hear her in the bathroom hunting for her hairbrush.

" –N-no, its not that. I …uh… had a lieutenants meeting at noon… and well…" she trailed off.

With that she grabbed her cloth covering for her bun and shun-po'ed out the door not bothering to change her uniform and leaving a brow-arching Hitsugaya behind.

"… So she _normally _sleeps this late?"

And with that, Hitsugaya pulled her pillow closer and breathed in her scent. A few relaxing minutes passed before his eyes shot open in realization.

He had a twelve-fifteen captain's meeting.

–

Hinamori shun-po'ed all the way to the meeting and when she arrived she was severely out of breath and looked quite disheveled. All pairs of eyes in the room turned to the petite lieutenant entering the room.

"…Hinamori?" Matsumoto turned to her friend and looked her up and down with shocked eyes, " What happened?"

Finally able to catch her breath, Hinamori put on her usual bright smile. " Oh, its nothing. I just… overslept a little, that's all."

" I don't think that was what she meant, Hinamori. " Renji cut in.

Hinamori noticed that everyone in the room was looking at her quite shocked. Some laughed and muttered to each other. Kira looked like he was about to cry, and Renji was muttering something to Hisagi about some bet that he had to pay him for.

_Did I do something wrong? What is going on…?_

" Let me just ask you something, in case we have this all wrong, " Nanao called over the wild reactions, "… when did you become the captain of the tenth squad, Hinamori? "

All the color drained from Hinamori's face as she slowly looked down to see Hitsugaya's captain's haori over her usual uniform.

"… Oh. " Was the only thing she was able to say.

She looked back up to the faces once again. All of the noise that had once filled the room was now gone and everyone was looking at her, waiting for an explanation. Kira still looked like he was going to cry, though.

" I-its not what you think… " She started. No, of course she wasn't the new captain. And, well… _yes,_ she had spent the night with Hitsugaya… but it wasn't like _that_… and, it never would be. Toshiro didn't think of her that way. He made that clearly obvious.

" Its really not what you think. I was cold last night on my way back to my division and he loves the cold and all… then I woke up late. " She finished with an embarrassed laugh, " That's all, honest. "

The expressions in the room seemed to believe her. Kira looked quite happy once again and pointed to the empty seat next to him, and Renji grumpily returned Hisagi's money. Only one pair of eyes remained on her suspiciously. Hinamori looked across the room into them. Matsumoto was grinning mischievously at her, and Hinamori made a mental note to speak with her after the meeting.

" Let's get down to business…again..." Nanao started

" Who's got the sake?! " Renji shouted over her.

Hinamori sighed deeply once the room of supposedly high-classed lieutenants exploded with sake. Matsumoto had stopped smirking at her and was forcing her own special concoction down a protesting Hisagi's throat. Hinamori looked across the room at her old friend Renji to find him dazed off in his own little world.

_Drunk already? _Hinamori laughed to herself. But, she hadn't seen him pick up a drink, only mention it at the start of the meeting. She noticed a bandage on his forehead, as well as one that was sticking out of his haori on his shoulder. And where were those stupid glasses he usually wears on his forehead? Hinamori was about to go and tease him about their suspicious disappearance, and if Kuchiki-Taicho had ordered for their removal, when Renji got up, and left the meeting.

_What's going on? _Hinamori thought to herself. She was about to follow after him when Matsumoto telling her to 'loosen up a little' caught her. Not wanting to draw any more attention to herself than she already had this morning, she gladly sat down next to Kira who looked as though his life now had meaning.

---

Hitsugaya walked into the captain's meeting in is usual scowling demeanor, seeming to threaten that if _anyone _said _anything_, he would put all of Soul Society into the next ice age. Thankfully, the meeting had been delayed anyway, and Hitsugaya was right on time, and took his stance in between Mayuri and Shunsui.

" So… Hitsugaya-Taicho, " Shunsui teased, looking down at the white-haired prodigy " where's your haori?"

"Shut up. "

"Ah! Wait! I thought I heard some ruckus that Hinamori Fuku-Taicho was seen wearing the tenth division emblem this morning, and was looking quite… oh, how to say this- … rumpled? You kids grow up so fast! " Shunsui's tears of joy that were pouring down his cheeks rapidly froze as he noted the drop of temperature in the room, deciding that it was a good time to stop.

"Silence! " Captain Commander Yamamoto ordered from the head of the room. All eyes darted straight forward in attention before he continued. " As most of you know, Kuchiki-Taicho and Abarai Fuku-Taicho were deported to the living world yesterday, and brought back Kuchiki Rukia on account of her crimes. We recently received word from the court that Kuchiki Rukia is to be executed in thirty-five days from today. "

A dull silence filled the room.

_Executed? Sure, her crimes were severe; transferring her powers to a human and staying too long in the living world, but is execution really necessary?_

Everyone's eyes pulled toward the conceited expression of the sixth division's captain, Byakuya Kuchiki.

_His own sister is going to be executed… and he doesn't lift a finger? He's royalty. He has power. Why doesn't he use it to save her?_

Yamamoto clearing his throat interrupted Hitsugaya's thoughts.

"The human who took Rukia Kuchiki's powers was severely injured by the means of Abarai Renji Fuku-Taicho and Kuchiki Taicho, and may or may not have survived. Even if the human resisted death, he will no longer have spiritual energy whatsoever. "

_Was the human so strong that Abarai wasn't able to finish him off himself? If he was only using Kuchiki's powers… that seems impossible. _

" Dismissed. Please inform your respectable divisions of the occurrence."

With that, the captains began filing out of division one's meeting hall.

_Something isn't right here… _Hitsugaya thought, _I have a feeling this isn't over quite yet…_

" _Oh Hitsugaya-Taichooooo!"_ Came the singsong voice of Shunsui, breaking through Toshiro's icy thoughts.

_No wonder Nanao carries around that big book… _

Shunsui nudged Hitsugaya in the side. " Mind telling me your secret? Hmmm? "

The last thing Shunsui saw was an icy turquoise glare before his fingers became severely frostbitten.

----

Reviews?

I can't even begin to tell all of you that reviewed last chapter how much it meant to me.

I almost started crying.

And sadly, no… not kidding. It meant the world to me.

**silver-moon-sapphire-sky**: You wrote my first review! Therefore, you got the most luff!

Thanks! And I'm sorry about the really... slow… update.


	3. Anger Management

Remembering Winter

Chapter Three: Broken Photograph

--A/N--

Meh. I feel like I haven't written for a while. Sorry. I had some problems deciding how to write this chapter actually. I don't want to get into the major drama quite yet, right?

But, I was actually getting kind of sick of writing the sappy 'I-love-you-but-I-cant-bring-myself-to-admit-it'ness. It's adorable to write and all… but … I want to save the fluff for later, too!

So- I'm not really sure how I like this chapter… but it works, ne?

-Sighs- so as I've said prior- re-doing soul society arc in their perspective. Great fun, really.

Wow I'm lacking energy.

And I PROMISE this fanfic has NOT turned into a Hinamori and Aizen one. That's just…wrong.

Disclaimer: I don't own bleach. So I should marry Tite Kubo and then I can at least own half of it. And make 'em put more fluff in it.

--

Hinamori was exceedingly pleased when the lieutenants meeting had subsided. And by 'meeting' she really meant sitting around and watching every high-level shinigami get completely intoxicated. It wasn't even a lieutenants meeting anymore. Ikkaku and Yumichika always appeared and many times a few captains even joined the party. Namely, Shunsui.

She rolled her eyes to herself at the thought as she stepped outside into the bright day. The sun was peeking over the clay buildings surrounding her and slid through the railings, leaving bleached streaks on the wood walkway. A light breeze ran its fingers through her hair as she walked towards her quarters in hopes of some time to herself and a bath.

"Hinamori! Wait up!" A voice called behind her, demanding for her to stop.

She turned around and saw Matsumoto a ways behind her. Smiling to her friend, she waited for her to catch up.

"Hinamori…" Matsumoto started again with a laughing smile on her face as soon as she was standing in front of Hinamori " My Taicho didn't come back to his quarters last night. Now, I know what you told everyone in there," She said pointing to the door behind her, "But I know what's _really _going on here! You can't hide from me!" she finished with a slightly crazy laugh.

"Matsumoto? Are you drunk already?"

"Of course not, silly! You know how high my alcohol tolerance is!" she said with a seemingly proud smile, "Now, I want _details_!"

Hinamori could only shake her head. She knew more than anyone how much alcohol Matsumoto could consume in one night and not have a trace of a hangover in the morning.

"There's really nothing to tell… " Momo attempted to explain.

Matsumoto's eyes widened. "Oi? Was my Taicho that bad?"

"E-eh?" Hinamori felt herself turning a deeper red by the second. "M-Matsum-moto… really… w-we… "

"What I do in my own personal time is none of your business, now is it Matsumoto?" A cold voice firmly said from behind Hinamori. "Or did I make a mistake in thinking that you were an appropriate lieutenant for the Gotei?"

Hinamori's eyes widened and she felt her heart freeze a moment at the sound of his voice, but did not turn to meet his cold eyes, as her blush had not subsided.

"My apologies, Taicho." Matsumoto muttered seemingly angry. A small bow was followed by her exit into the noisy lieutenant meeting once again.

Hinamori's feet were planted in her spot, her back to Hitsugaya.

"Hinamori." The cold voice reached out to her.

She turned her head to the side so she could see him out of the corner of her eye. Hitsugaya avoided her eye and, to her shock, a small blush had crept into his cheeks.

"H-hai?"

"You don't have to put up with that. Not just from her, from anyone. Of course, it is to be expected from Matsumoto, but others may not be far off."

"Hitsugaya-Kun? What do you mean?" she turned to face him with a confused look.

"I just mean… that people get ideas. We grew up together, and we've always been close. People get… thoughts in their heads that aren't true." He looked her in the eyes, "They're obviously wrong, and I don't want you to be hurt."

_He's right. _She thought, _how come I never thought of that before? We lived together for as long as I can remember, we went to school together, and now are even shinigami together. I can't even begin to imagine my life without him at this point… Its really only natural for people to get ideas… I'm sure it doesn't help his reputation at all. He probably wants the rumors to stop. …I-I understand it now… _

Did she really understand? Or did she want to believe in something that was always out of her reach? Before she could stop it, the rarely seen anger inside her rose as her cinnamon eyes took on a deathly red tint.

_You don't want to see me get hurt? Or you don't want to hurt your own reputation?_ _I wouldn't be surprised if you were feeling awkward standing here talking to me right now!_

Hitsugaya's eyes widened as he felt her fiery riatsu swarm around her and he looked into her usually warm and gentile eyes to find them a chilling red.

"…Hina…mori?"

How had she never noticed? Had the thought never occurred to her that he was a _captain_? All these years she had never once treated him differently. Never. He was always her Shiro-Chan. Looking at him now; he was far from _her_ Shiro-Chan. He was cold and strict. Firm. He wasn't who he used to be. Sure, there were times when his old self was apparent… but did that really count if it was frozen away? He was no longer the warm friend she loved. He had changed ever since he became a captain. She had always assumed it was because he needed to show his authority and prove himself… but he was always cold, wasn't he? Especially to her.

_Is he ashamed of me?_

Hitsugaya was able to relax for a moment when her killing riatsu faded away. He aimed his eyes into hers to ask her what the hell just happened when he noticed hers were looking at the ground, the fire dispersed.

--

He watched her silently, still completely confused as to what caused the drastic mood swings.

_I didn't expect _this _reaction… Why is she taking it this way? What is going on?…_

He opened his mouth to try and comfort her for reasons unknown when she beat his to it.

"I…I understand." She said with a pitiful attempt to keep her voice from wavering.

She looked up at him finally and he could see crystallized tears brimming her eyes.

"H-Hinamori… what…" he started but was interrupted when she shook her head solemnly.

"Its fine."

"No, it obviously isn't." he said firmly and clenched his hands on her shoulders to keep her from running away.

She shook her head as the tears reached their breaking point and cascaded down her face silently. With that, she slid from his grasping hands and shun-po'ed away, leaving a confused Hitsugaya behind.

_What …just happened?_

Deciding that it was most likely best to let her calm down before trying to talk to her, he traced her riatsu back to the fifth division to find her later, and went back to his own office.

--

Hinamori managed to fly into her quarters before the sobbing started. The unstoppable angry tears streamed down her face as the fire within her wanted release. Grabbing the pillows off her futon, they were thrown against a wall, knocking the curtains covering her window to the side. A lamp was knocked over when a book was flung at it, as pictures on her wall and vanity were felled to the ground. One suffered a devastating crack in the glass covering it. She stopped at the sight of it. The raging fire died as she walked over to the picture and picked it up. Sitting on her knees she stared into the picture's precious memory. She and her Shiro-Chan were going off to his first year at the shinigami academy. It was her third year and she was acting as though she was far superior to him. Her hand was nestled in his hair in a lovingly teasing manner as he scowled up at her with a small smile capturing his features.

Looking back at it now, where did that feeling go? Did she realize when it left? Stray teardrops leapt onto the glass and pooled to the middle where the crack spread its wings. The tears slipped into the crease and within seconds, had blotted the ink in the photograph, symbolically leaving a blotch between her and Hitsugaya. …Why had it taken her so long to realize?

_How could I be so stupid? Of course things are different between us now. _

It was stupid really, hoping for more when you could barely hold onto a friendship. What was she thinking? Sure, Hitsugaya had never been the warmest of people, but he had at least cared at one point. Cared about things other than paperwork and missions. Cared about… about her. He had always been the one to protect her. Was she just a burden? She was, wasn't she. When they were children it was so easy... they were equal. But now, things changed. They had changed before her eyes for years, yet she was oblivious to it until this moment. He was just being nice to her now, but really, just letting her believe in a lie.

A gentile knock at her door wrenched her from her thoughts.

"Hinamori-Kun? Are you Alright?" The gentile voice of her captain seeped through the crack under her door and warmed the room.

"H-hai." Her shaking voice told another story.

"Is it all right if I come in?" The warmth grew.

"Hai… Taicho" More tears made their way down her cheeks from her stinging eyes.

The door slowly slid open, and a concerned Aizen stood in the doorway. He took one look at his crumpled lieutenant on the floor; tear stained and broken, and bend down to hold her in a warm embrace.

"It's okay, Hinamori-Kun. I'm here."

Those small, meaningless words meant so much to her. The warm arms around her melted the tenseness away as she buried her face in his shoulder and let the tears fall. The warmth that surrounded her seemed to mend her wounds and numb the pain. With a quivering breath she looked up to her captain.

"Arigato, Taicho. " The tears had ceased, but her face remained stained with streaks.

"Come, Hinamori-Kun. Lets go outside to clear your head. I'll listen if you would like to talk." He smiled and opened the door for her as she picked herself up off the floor, leaving the photograph behind.

The rush of cool evening air seared into her body and chilled her emotions. Calmed her. As long as she could remember the cold had relaxed her. Maybe it was because her Zanpakutou was in the fire series, and the opposite was new and different for her. Or maybe it was because for as long as she could remember being calmed by the cold, when Hitsugaya was there for her.

_Did I overreact? _

The rational thoughts came clearly now, as if the cool breeze opened the eyes to her mind.

"_Baka."_ Hitsugaya's voice rang clear in her head. That was what he would say, wasn't it?

"Hinamori-Kun." Aizen's voice sounded as he sat down on the steps that lead from her quarters to her small private park and the dense forest beyond. "Sit down, please."

"Hai, Taicho."

Her feet padded softly against the wooden porch and over to the steps. She sat down next to her captain and looked up at the late evening sky. It was painted in deep blues and purples, fading into a dark pink where the sun had last been seen. Small stars dotted the darker parts of the sky, as the ones in the lighter areas waited to appear. Hinamori sighed as she curled her knees up to her chin and wrapped her arms around them.

"Are you feeling any better, Hinamori-Kun?" Aizen's voice broke the pristine silence.

She turned to him and nodded her reply. Aizen always had a way of healing her pains.

"There is something I need to tell you, if that is all right."

"Of course. Anything, Aizen Taicho." she said, happy that he could trust her as she trusted him.

He smiled lightly at her as he turned his head to the thickening stars overhead.

"Rukia Kuchiki was returned to soul society."

"You mean Kuchiki-Taicho's sister?"

Aizen nodded. "She committed two serious crimes in the living world."

Hinamori looked up at him seemingly confused. She had known of her staying too long, but what was the other?

"She transferred her shinigami powers…to a human."

Hinamori's eyes widened. "I-I didn't even know that was possible…"

"Yes, well, the human was expelled and Kuchiki will be executed in twenty-five days from today."

"E-executed?"

Aizen nodded solemnly. "And Byakuya-Taicho didn't say a word in her defense."

Hinamori could only imagine what it would be like to be left for dead like Rukia was.

_Would Hitsugaya-Kun…?_ Was her only thought. And would he? Would he save her?

"Hinamori-Kun, you better get some sleep before you worry yourself to the point of a fever." Aizen warmly smiled.

"I-I would rather say here with you, if that's all right, Taicho."

He smiled at his Lieutenant. "Of course it is."

--

A while later, Hitsugaya was able to sense that Hinamori's riatsu had calmed itself back to normal, and he would be able to brave her. Walking to her division he watched the sky deepening and turning to the raven black of night. He was about to leap onto the roof of her quarters in hopes she was up there when he heard his name whispered loudly.

"_Hitsugaya-Taicho!"_ The near-frantic whisper burned his ears. Turning around to where he heard the voice, he saw Aizen-Taicho sitting on Hinamori's porch waving for Hitsugaya to come closer. As he got closer he could see a passed-out Hinamori on Aizen's shoulder and couldn't help but smirk.

"Yes, Aizen-Taicho?" Hitsugaya whispered back.

"Well… my shoulder is falling asleep, and I'm not exactly comfortable. But, I do not wish to wake her up. Can you pick her up for a second?"

Hitsugaya wrapped his arms around her sleeping form and held her bridal-style close to his chest. He started heading for the door leading to her room when Aizen stopped him.

"I don't think that room is quite suitable to sleeping in tonight."

"… What?"

Aizen gently pulled open the door, and the room looked as though Kenpachi had a fight in there. The bed was destroyed, and various belongings were strewn about the room. In fact, where _was _her futon?

"I see." he replied as Aizen closed the door again.

"Exactly. Now, If you would be so kind, Hitsugaya-Taicho, would you be able to have Hinamori-Kun accompany you at your quarters for the night?"

"… Why should she stay with-" he was cut off by Aizen.

"Unless you wish for her to stay here with me. I am aware that you two do spend nights together every so often, this shouldn't be much different. "

"E…eh?"

"That's the spirit. Now go, before she catches a cold."

With that, Hitsugaya was left alone outside with a sleeping Hinamori cradled in his arms.

"Why does this always happen to me?" he muttered before carrying her off to the tenth division.

---Author's Note---

GAH. I cannot STAND to make Aizen all good and, oh, normal.

*Bashes his face in*

Anyway… Reviews are lovely.


	4. Vanilla Clouds

Remembering Winter

Chapter Four: Vanilla Clouds

--A/N--

First off,

Need I tell you all again how much I hate making Aizen seem relatively decent?

Because I do. A lot.

So much that I have to hold my fingers back from typing that Hitsugaya whips out Hyorinmaru and –shhhlunk-, kills him right then and there. But… that wouldn't be much of a plot, and I would be labeled as 'lame'. So lets not, and say that we did a million times over in out heads, ne?

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. But I sure as hell wish I did.

--

"Mmph."

Hinamori rolled over in her futon. The cool, silky sheets rubbed against her legs as daring beams of sunlight rested against her face. Opening her eyes wearily she ached to look outside. Reaching out her hand she grabbed the blue curtains and…

Since when were her curtains blue?

Or have silk sheets for that matter?

She laid perfectly still, trying to figure out what was going on in her head. As her eyes adjusted she was able to confirm that at least she was _alone_ in the bed. The room seemed familiar… but from where? She rolled over on her back and sat up. When she was about to sling her legs over the side of the futon and stand up, something caught her eye on the other side of the room. There was her Hitsugaya. Sleeping informally crumpled in a chair as far away from the futon as possible. One of his legs was swung over an arm of the chair, and his hand was on his kneecap, providing a small, worthless cushion for his cheek that snoozed upon it.

_No need to be modest, Hitsugaya-Kun._

She stretched her arm across timidly, afraid to wake him as she placed her hand on his surprisingly soft, white locks. She drew her hand back, slightly shocked, as his hair was damp and cool to the touch with morning dew that also stuck to the bottom of his sandals and haori.

_Is he just getting to sleep now? What was he awake for?_

Hinamori's brow furrowed as she recalled the way she acted the day before. Or, more or less, _over-reacted._

_What was wrong with me? I'm never like that… _

A small sigh escaped from Hitsugaya's lips as he attempted to find a position in the too-small chair in his sleep.

_There's no way that's comfortable for him. _

Well, she wasn't a vice captain for nothing. She pushed the chair over to the side of the futon, and pulled.

She was able to move him a whole inch.

_How can he be so heavy!? He's in a twelve-year-old's body!_

Hinamori sighed, not wanting to have to break out her Kido skills on such a small task. Also, she didn't want to risk waking him up with such close-range spiritual energy. She mentally slapped herself at that. Kuchiki-Taicho could release Senbonzakura's bankai right there and Hitsugaya wouldn't move a muscle. Kneeling down next to the chair, she un-tied his damp sandals and tossed them to the side. She then pulled off his captain's haori, folded it, and set it next to the futon. Hinamori then stood up, planted her feet, and pulled his arms as hard as she could. With a satisfying "_flop_" Hitsugaya landed on the futon, pulling a petite Hinamori with him.

"Ow…" Hinamori muttered as she landed on Hitsugaya's cold granite chest.

_No wonder I couldn't lift him_, she thought coolly.

She pressed her hands against his chest to push herself up, but she paused as she delighted in the feeling of his cold ambiance seething into her veins. Her cheek was pressed against his chest, and one of her hands was caught on his uniform, providing skin on skin contact with his sculpted chest that, at the realization, ran a shiver down her spine. Lifting her head off the cold surface she looked into his face. The frown that always seized his face was nowhere to be found.

_He looks so… peaceful. _

Was this the only time that he was calm? When he was deeply unconscious? Hinamori timidly reached the hand that was not snagged in his uniform up to the side of his sculpted face and gently ran her fingertips along the delicate surface. Her fingers traced every detail of his face, admiring it all. She wondered how it was even possible for the Hitsugaya before her to be the Hitsugaya-_Taicho_ that stood so dignified at the meetings before all the other captains. Her palm in his uniform was flat against his toned chest, and she could feel the rise and fall of his heavy breathing. Hinamori's upper body was pressed against his, and her legs hung off the side of the futon that was up much higher than her own, leaving her feet dangling off the floor. She would give anything to live in this moment for just a few hours. Just her, and Hitsugaya who was as venerable as she had seen him in years. Her fingertips, still memorizing his face, gently traced the outline of his lips, delighting the contrast of his smooth, granite skin and the soft satin of his lips. Deep inside, she begged for those very lips to claim her mouth, her body, and her soul. Resting her fingers on them, she shut her eyes and reminded herself that Hitsugaya was her _friend,_ and _friends_ did not wish for that from other _friends_ that, with all honesty, were having severe issues even holding onto the bloody friendship as it was. Clenching her eyes tighter together to keep the tears that she felt pricking the back of her eyes from flooding out she wondered, just _when_ it was that she began seeing Hitsugaya… differently. She was unable to exactly pinpoint a certain time. But, she did recall one certain occasion.

-

She was sitting in Hitsugaya's office, waiting for him to come back. It was Friday night, the night that quite a few shinigami went out to the bars and drank themselves into oblivion, seemingly forgetting that just because the next day was Saturday, they still had work to do. And massive hangovers were never easy to work around. A few captains understood the need to "let one's soul free". Such as Ukitake-Taicho. Others forced their Fuku-Taicho's to do multiples of the work they usually do, as if to knock them out of their habits. That would be Kuchiki-Taicho, threatening the poor headache-ridden Renji with millions of deathly pink petals. Other captains joined in on the party as their poor Fuku-Taichos hit them over the head with a large dictionary. Repeatedly. That one is left un-said. Everyone already knows. Hinamori and Hitsugaya had no desire whatsoever to "let one's soul free" as it was, so they had dinner every Friday. Meeting at Hitsugaya's quarters, they would cook in his near lavish kitchen. It was always an event Hinamori looked forward to.

_What on earth is taking him so long?_ She thought to herself, drumming her fingers on his desk that she sat behind. _It can't take _that _long to run and buy some soy sauce!_

Her eyes averted around the room and landed on a pink slip of paper that was stuck inside his desk drawer, with only a corner peeking out. In Seiretei, pink slips meant overdue paperwork. Hinamori laughed to herself as she opened the drawer to pull it out, and berate him playfully later. Pulling the drawer open, she nearly fell off his chair, as the drawer was full of pink, red, white, and any other girly color combination imaginable. A distinct odor of vanilla and strawberry omitted itself from the open drawer, and she plugged her nose at the strong scent as she picked up one of the adorned and never-opened envelopes.

The front of the envelope had "_To Hitsugaya-Taicho_" written on it in fancy pink lettering. Hinamori glanced mischievously at the door to his office, and then back to the vanilla-ed envelope in her hand with a smirk. With a flash, she flipped the envelope over, sliced her index finger through the trail of red hearts that were securing the flap, and whipped out the letter. Followed, of course, by another puff of strong vanilla pungency that caused her eyes to water at its acidity. Blinking through her tears and the cloud of remaining vanilla, she read.

_Dear Hitsugaya-Taicho. _

_My name is Myoki Nahamaru, Squad Ten, President of the Hitsugaya-Taicho Official Fan Club. I just wanted to let you know what an honor it truly is to be working under such a great leader like you. You probably don't remember, but this one time there was this totally big hollow that my group was after. And it had all these, like,… tentacle things. And one was coming straight towards me! And I totally watched as my life passed before my eyes. And I realized, that the pictures of my life were all of you. You were standing right in front of me with your sword drawn and looking very very hot. That was my life. And then amazingly enough you were actually standing in front of me… and you saved me! You are my life! Ever since that day I have been in love with you, Hitsugaya-Taicho. I'm eternally yours. _

_With love:_

_Myoki Nahamaru_

_P.S. Are you ever going to dump that Hinamori from squad five? If so, just keep in mind that I'm first on the list. I _am _the Hitsugaya-Taicho Official Fan Club's President after all! _

Hinamori set the letter down on the desk not sure whether to laugh or hunt down this Myoki Nahamaru and burn her to a crisp. Venting her anger, she ripped the letter in half and shoved it to the bottom of his drawer. Curiosity once again got the better of her as she picked a handful of letters out of the drawer, briefly skimming their contents.

"_What does Hinamori have that I don't?"_ A life perhaps? Sanity maybe?

"_You must know that Matsumoto Fuku-Taicho's aren't real. They are implants." _Wrong again. The common assumption is excess spiritual energy. There's enough there to destroy the world a few times over.

"_As for Hinamori Fuku-Taicho, she doesn't even HAVE boobs!" _Hinamori looked down. Well, they're right about that one.

"_Your hair is like… snow." _Creative. No, really. That's enough so make Shakespeare swoon.

Hinamori shoved the letters back into the drawer and kicked her feet on top of his desk as she heart footsteps outside the door. She listened, waiting for Hitsugaya to open the door and scold her for putting her feet on his precious furniture. Instead, she heard a female voice. It was difficult to make out through the screen, but she knew instantly it wasn't Matsumoto. Who, by Hinamori's standards, was the only female shinigami, other than herself of course, who wasn't throwing herself at him. Listening harder she was able to catch an essence of Hitsugaya's rough voice seeping through the door. Unable to make out what the voices were saying, Hinamori gently leapt from the chair and silently glided across the wood floor to the door. Just as she got to it, the screen opened and Hitsugaya, with his head turned to the side, saying quite coolly to the female voice that he had no interest in dinner, and that he already had plans, walked briskly into the room and toppled on top of Hinamori who had just made it to the door. She landed hard on the floor and her eyes winced shut as her hand bent backwards slightly. A shaky gasp escaped from her clenched teeth in pain as a white-hot convulsion seared up to her wrist.

"H-Hinamori?" a worried voice above her trembled.

She opened her eyes wearily and looked directly into two emeralds staring back at her, the concern in them un-masked.

"I'm so sorry," the voice trembled again, "It was all my fault. Are you okay?"

"Don't worry." she replied in a tiny voice, "it was my fault, really."

"But are you okay?"

Hinamori shook her head no as he helped her sit up, and her hand fell loose in her lap as she winced again. His eyes followed the movement, and then darted back up to hers full force as he gently held her hand in his.

"Where?" he said so gently it was nearly a whisper.

Hinamori pointed to the tenants running from her wrist to her dainty fingers, not speaking for fear of the pent-up tears to come flowing out as her hand throbbed again.

Hitsugaya tenderly held her shaking hand in both of his, softly bending her finders and rotating her wrist in multiple directions.

"Nothing is broken." he murmured, "You will probably have some severe sensitivity and bruising in your hand for awhile though. I think I have a wrap bandage in my bathroom if you need it until we can bring you to the fourth squad."

Hinamori nodded.

"Thank you." she attempted to say without trembling, but her voice gave way to her true emotions as daring tears streamed down her cheeks. Hinamori had no tolerance for pain whatsoever, and never had.

Hitsugaya looked up with kind and gentle eyes as he brushed her stray tears away with his hand.

"Shush, Bed-Wetter. Its not as bad as you think." he smirked playfully.

"Mou, Shiro-Chan. You're so mean." she smiled tearfully back.

Looking down, she realized that her hand was still resting limply in his. She was about to draw it back and ask for the bandage when he tightened his grip just a tad to keep her hand in his.

"Hold on. I'm not done with you yet," he said as his eyes sparkled.

With that, he rook one of his hands and traced his fore fingers from her wrist to her fingers. Right on top of the throbbing pain. Hinamori could feel the numbing sensation of ice smother the fiery pain eating away at her hand. Hitsugaya's ice element sure did come in handy sometimes.

"Now, lets go find that bandage." he said, standing up in front of her and holding out his hand to help her to her feet.

Smiling faintly and hiding a forcing blush, Hinamori reached for his hand.

As they passed the door on their way to the bathroom, Hinamori realized that the door was still wide open and a beautiful blonde shinigami was leaning angrily on the wall across from it in the hall. She took one look at Hinamori and stuck her nose up as she walked briskly down the hall.

Hinamori only smiled.

-

That incident was years ago, and yet Hinamori could remember it like it was yesterday. She was able to recall every emotion that ran wildly through her body that day, even if she had been unable to classify them at the time. The prickling of jealousy as she discovered the letters and the more than lovely shinigami outside the door. The warming arms of affection as he more than lovingly put her above anything and everything. And how could she ever forget the high-and-mighty feeling of satisfaction at the expression of the very same shinigami. She could clearly remember the wide, distraught emerald eyes that held her gaze so intently that she didn't even have time to blush.

_That was the moment, _Hinamori thought, _the moment that I knew he made me a part of who I am, who I always will be. And, I wouldn't have it any other way._

Hinamori was brought out of her thoughts quite sharply when she felt a hand softly rubbing her back in just the right places that sent fiery tremors through her veins, as well as the gentile kissing of her fingertips that sent her heart flying. Snapping her eyes open and looking straight down at Hitsugaya, she saw a gleaming twinkle in his turquoise pools as he looked straight up to her in return.

"Good Morning." He muttered huskily around her fingertips.

"M-morning." Hinamori stuttered in return, fighting her rapid heartbeat. "Did you sleep well…?" she trailed off.

He nodded slightly." Except a certain _Bed-Wetter _kept intruding in on my dreams."

Hinamori tilted her head in confusion, awaiting a definition.

"I-I dreamed about you."

_I want this. _He thought. _I want her to be here when I open my eyes every morning. I'm willing to take a chance… on her._

Hinamori was sure that her heart was audible or could at least be felt against his chest. The smile that rubbed against her fingertips gave her the answer.

Opening her mouth to reply, she found that not only was he mouth dry, but all her words seemed to have disappeared.

"…O-oh?" was all that she was able to say. The close proximity was driving her insane.

Nodding, he replied. "Yes. It was that evening some time ago. I ran in the door, not looking, and ran into you and made you hurt your hand."

"I told you- that was my fau-"

"I know what you said, Hinamori. But I won't listen." He interrupted.

As soon as Hinamori got over the initial irritation of his constant interrupting her, she remembered with a jolt that she had been recalling the same evening.

_That's strange... _she thought.

"Momo." his voiced reached to her.

Turquoise met cinnamon as Hitsugaya pulled Hinamori fully on the futon, fully on top of him.

"It made me think of what I would do if I lost you. You… you bring life into my day, every day. You give me a reason to smile. And, you have no idea how much I despise it when I can't see you. It drives me insane."

Behind the cinnamon eyes, tears came freely and stroked down her cheeks as Hitsugaya brushed them aside.

"Toushiro…" her voice softly whispered.

He covered her lips with a finger, delicately lulling her voice. Tracing her jaw line, his fingers skimmed her porcelain skin to her cheek and tucked a stray strand of auburn behind her ear.

Hinamori reluctantly removed her hand from Hitsugaya's chest, but was compensated when her hand grazed his face and lost itself in his silky white hair.

"And the more I thought about it," he continued in a husky whisper "the more I realized that I had no idea who I would even be without you."

Hinamori swallowed hard and managed to whisper out a faint calling of his name before his hand tightened lightly behind her neck, and brought her face closer to his burning turquoise. She subconsciously felt her eyelids gently shutting and her lips parting slightly as they tenderly brushed against his, breathing in his scent. Her lips trembled against in anticipation before he leaned forward and his lips claimed her own. A red-hot inferno blazed through her being as he pulled her closer and his hands were lost in her hair. Passion trembled between the melded lips before Hitsugaya broke the kiss to pay attention to her neck as Hinamori caught her breath. He dotted kisses along her neck and shoulder, his eyes never breaking away from her heavy-lidded, cinnamon ones. She breathed in deeply as she pressed her lips against his chest that was rising and falling intensely. After her breathing returned to as normal as it would ever be, she turned her head to look him in the eyes, which were currently gazing out the window. Once he felt her eyes on him, he turned his attention back to the petite shinigami.

"W-what… where did that come from…? Shiro-Chan?" she managed to stumble out.

"I'm sorry I made you uncomfor-"

"No, it's not that. Never mind."

"Well obviously it's something. Tell me."

"Shiro-Chan! Since when have you been so nosy?" she teased.

His eye twitched at that bloody nickname.

"If you call me "_Shiro-Chan"… one more time- I'll_"

"You'll what, Shiro-Chan?" Hinamori laughed hysterically.

His eyes shot into hers with such ferocity that she pushed herself off him a it, as if backing away before he flipped her over so she was under him, pinning her to the futon. As she opened her mouth to protest he brought his lips down again. Forcefully. Everything was soon forgotten as she was swept into the burning waves that drowned the deepest part of her soul. Once he released her she sat gasping for breath as whispered hoarsely in her ear

"_That's _what will happen."

Hinamori gulped.

Shifting, Hitsugaya put his head on her stomach and pulled the covers over them both. The delicate warmth from her body just attracted him more to her as her hands were once again, dancing around his snowy hair.

As he turned his head to look out the window, a fragile black-winged butterfly few in the window.

Groaning, he stretched out his index finger for the butterfly to perch on as it told him it's message.

"Damn." he muttered, clenching his eyes as the black wings flew back out the window to the next victim.

"Hmm?" Hinamori asked, unable to find words at the moment.

"Emergency captain meeting and vice-captain meeting. Right now."

Hinamori let out a sigh as she moved out from under him to find her vice-captain badge somewhere on the floor. Before she could even begin to move her feet to the floor, strong hands grabbed her forearms. Hitsugaya sat upright, leaning against the wall behind him and spread his folded legs apart as he pulled her to his cold, granite chest. Wrapping his arms around her protectively, he kissed her hair.

"Be careful, Hinamori." He whispered. "It may be calm right now, but there is a lead that someone or something might be coming. Captains are told to carry Zanpaktous at all times. Please… be careful."

She pushed away from his chest with his hands still remaining on her slender waist.

"I'm not a Fuku-Taicho for nothing, you know, Shiro-Chan." She smirked.

Hitsugaya simply rolled his eyes.

"And plus- I have Aizen-Taicho to look after me!" she beamed.

"_How could I forget?_" Hitsugaya mumbled for his own ears.

Hinamori leapt from the futon and rummaged around on the floor for her badge as Hitsugaya searched for his other sandal. Suddenly, from outside came a piercing shattering noise surrounded by the crackling of lightning. Their eyes darted to each other, then out the window where the reinforced shield was cracking.

"I-impossible…" Hinamori muttered, wide-eyed. "T-there's no way that they can break the shield and get in… Right, Shiro-Chan? …Shiro-Chan?"

Hitsugaya had walked over to the window, and was staring up at the sky where the invaders had impaled the shield.

"I-I'm not so sure..." he trailed off, leaving her with even wider eyes than before. If that was possible.

He took one look back at Hinamori and shun-po'ed out the window.

Hinamori watched his frame scatter from rooftop to rooftop as she sensed Aizen-Taicho's riatsu in the distance.

_You be careful too, Shiro-Chan._ She thought as she went off to meet with her captain. He would know what to do.

--A/N--

So I really had fun writing this chapter. A LOT of fun. That whole flashback: yeah, not planned. I just liked describing letters in the essence of vanilla.

I realized that I put practically this whole one in Hinamori's perspective. Usually I switch it up a little.

This chapter was purely fluff. I had to get it in somewhere. The next chapters- it will just be drama,drama,drama… action,action, action.

So we got fluff.

And really, who doesn't love fluff?

Reviews are love.


	5. Can't Compare

Remembering Winter

Chapter Five: Lightning Sparks

--A/N--

Allrightie. So I'm sorry that chapter four took … borderline eternity to come out. Blame biology.

No, really.

So last chapter was all frou-frou and whatnot. And I must say, I had quite a party writing it.

It was a party with brownies. I like brownies. A lot. They're my fuel. As well as Oreos.

How about I just get on with the story, ne?

So this chapter is a lot of re-capping what we already know, with some… exaggerations. I'm pretty sure I got everything in the right order. And, if I don't… well, that's why it's called a fanfic. I didn't really feel like going back and re-watching all those soul society arc episodes _again_ for the… oh, -counts on fingers- seventh time.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. If I did, Hitsugaya would be taller. Much taller.

--

Sharp blades of wind whipped across Hitsugaya's face as he shun-po'ed across the clay-roofed buildings towards the bursts of anxious riatsu. Overhead, electrical currents singed the sky, leaving black streaks of discharging clouds in their wake as they shot along the vast blue that was slowly fading to a deep gray.

_Damn. _Was the only thought that ran through his head in somewhat panic. _Damn that Ichimaru. If he had killed that … that orange-haired substitute when he had the chance… _

But he hadn't. And now all of Soul Society was in minor panic as the group of intruders attempted to break their way in through the sky. As if on cue, the cannonball that smashed into the shield broke, sending the ryoka flying in all directions, hurtling to the ground.

"Hitsugaya-Taicho!" a panicked voice sounded from behind him. Turning, he saw that it was men from his division.

"Yes?" He asked, double-checking to make sure his trademark scowl was in place.

"What are your orders, Sir? Regarding the Ryoka?" the shinigami asked, more timidly than the first time.

"Go after them, of course." was his icy reply.

_Obviously. Why did you even need to ask me that? I'm not Matsumoto, you know. _

They knew. Or, at least, they should after working under him for as long as they had. With a resounding "Hai" from each of them, they each ran off in different directions, heading for the bullets that were hurtling to the ground. Hitsugaya could feel Kenpachi's flaring riatsu in the distance, excited.

Hitsugaya rolled his eyes, knowing who wouldn't be at the captain's meeting.

--

"Aizen-Taicho!" Hinamori shouted as soon as her Captain was in sight. He looked up at her and greeted her with a hesitant half smile before she came within speaking range.

"Aizen-Taicho," She said again once she was standing dutifully beside him, looking up at the threatening sky, "What's going on? What are we going to do?"

"Don't worry, Hinamori-Kun," He replied softly, "It will all be taken care of before you know it. The Ryoka's riatsu isn't anything that the Gotei 13 can't handle."

Hinamori beamed up at her captain.

_He's right. And, he always knows just the right thing to say to make me feel better. Arigato, Aizen-Taicho. _

"I apologize, Hinamori-Kun. I have to leave you to control the division while I'm at a meeting. I know you can handle it, but please, be careful. I'm sorry I have to force it upon you at a time like this."

"Don't worry, Aizen-Taicho," Hinamori smiled determinedly "I'll organize the division for your orders. Plus, team thirteen should already have started on defense, and all of team eleven is searching. We'll be fine."

"I knew I could count on you, Hinamori-Kun." Aizen smiled and placed his warm hand on her head comfortingly before he walked off to the first division.

_Aizen-Taicho…you be careful, too. She thought as she watched him disappear in the distance._

--

Over the following days, the situation worsened. With half of squad eleven under the care of squad four, all of Seiretei was thrown into chaos. Especially once the word that Ikkaku Madarame and Yumichika Ayasegawa were seriously injured in their battles with the ryoka. All Hinamori needed was just a break from all the disorder. And to make matters worse, she hadn't been able to catch a glimpse of Hitsugaya since that morning when the Ryoka first arrived. She hadn't seen her captain, either. Well, he always seemed to be off somewhere anyway. She had grown accustomed to that aspect of her captain. Having not slept in days, and her stress at an all-time high, Hinamori could barely function properly. She knew it was selfish, but she just needed someone to lean on right now. Covering her face with her hands, she attempted to hide her flowing tears. Through the cracks of her fingers she could see glimpses of her red-haired friend, Renji, in a near death and bleeding state.

_W-why did this happen? What is going on…? I don't understand… why didn't he wait for backup? Why, Renji? Why didn't you wait...? _

Kneeling down next to the small cot that he was laying on her tears drifted silently down her face as she heard Kira sigh from the other side of the room. She lifted her head to speak to him, but was unable to place the words together in her mouth that was choked with tears.

"H-Hinamori-Chan!" Kira stuttered out as he leapt to her side. "A-are you okay? Renji will heal! I promise! … I-It was my own fault for not getting there sooner."

"Don't blame yourself, Kira-Kun… it's not your fault." She softly murmured as more tears fell down her face. "And, I-I'm fine, Kira-Kun. I'm just worried about Abarai-kun. And this whole pointless war… I don't understand it."

Kira tilted his head and smiled sadly at her. Kneeling on one knee by her side he took her face in his hands and wiped her tears away from her silky cheeks with his nervous fingers. Hinamori reflexed from the unexpected contact by jerking back from his shaking fingers. As long as she had known Kira-Kun… he had never once came in contact with her, unless it was accidental. And, if it was, he apologized profusely afterwards.

"…I-I'm sorry… H-Hinamori-K-kun… I don't know what… what…" He attempted to stammer out with a reddening face.

"Its fine, Kira-Kun." Hinamori spoke out, seemingly emotionless. "I'm just not myself right now. I'm too worried about Abarai-Kun."

"I'm going to go call the emergency relief team to start his healing."

Her slight uplifting lasted a few mere moments before all warmth in the room was drawn out as Byakuya walked stoically in. Hinamori and Kira got to their feet and bowed their heads slightly at his prestigious entrance.

"That will not be necessary." Byakuya muttered with the same stoic appearance that he always had as he regarded his bleeding lieutenant on the floor. "Take him directly to prison. The very sight of him still breathing offends me." Hinamori's current condition would not allow her to stand aside and let that happen. A captain is supposed to look out for their lieutenant. She didn't know what she was saying until the words left her mouth. "Is that how you treat your men?! Renji has been badly hurt If-"

"A thousand apologies, sir." Kira cut off Hinamori, "She didn't mean it."

Hinamori could only look at her friend in bewilderment. Renji was… was… She sighed. He was right… there was no point in fighting over this.

"I'm sorry, Kuchiki-Taicho. I didn't mean it."

Seemingly satisfied, the unemotional captain strode out of the room. Leaving Hinamori with an empty feeling inside.

"I'm sorry, Hinamori-Kun… but we have no choice but to follow orders. We need to take Renji to prison."

"But Kira-Kun! We cant do that… he'll… he'll die!"

"Oh my, oh my… that Captain Kuchiki is too cold, ne?" a third voice from a corner of the room sounded. Hinamori's eyes followed the sound to find Captain Ichimaru posed in the corner with his deathly smile in place. "But don't worry- I'll call in squad four so you wont get the blame. Come on, Kira." And with that, he was gone.

"Arigato." Hinamori bowed to the doorway as the last trace of white from his haori disappeared.

_She righted herself and sighed. I hope that squad four gets the message fast… I still can't believe Kuchiki-Taicho. What kind of a captain does that to his lieutenant? That's basically the same as killing him yourself. I'm just happy that my Taicho isn't like that at all. Aizen-Taicho is warm and kind… I know that he would never do anything that cold and treacherous. _

"Daydreaming again?" A new voice sounded from behind her. Hinamori's heart thumped in her chest simply at the inciting roughness of it. Also, that it had scared her half to death.

"H-Hitsugaya!" she jumped around, still trying to calm down.

He crossed his arms and scowled at her. "I'm a captain you know. Do you have problems remembering this? It's Hitsugaya-Taicho. You know, with the _Taicho_."

"Oh, Shut up, Hitsugaya! What is it with you captains and sneaking up on people? Well, not just people, lately it's been me that everyone's sneaking up on! What do you want? Actually, why are you even here?"

The dull seriousness that sounded in his eyes made her realize that he didn't just come to tease her.

"Hitsugaya-Kun…? What is it?"

He reached out and took her hand in his, gently tracing the top of her hand with his thumb. The simple gesture made Hinamori realize just how much she had missed him over the past few days. Just being near him, she could feel the pain and stress her mind and body had accumulated over the days simply melt away. Hearing footsteps outside he tenderly dropped her hand as a group from squad four ran into the room.

"Ah! Hitsugaya-Taicho! Hinamori Fuku-Taicho!" A member said, bowing to them. "We were sent to escort Abarai Fuku-Taicho to the prison and then proceed with the healing."

Hitsugaya nodded to them to carry on with their duties. "Hinamori Fuku-Taicho." he called to her, "Please follow me."

"Hai." She responded, with a little venom. He knew that she hated it when he was so strict with her. Everyone already knew how close friends they were. She shrugged, and followed him out into the descending night. They walked a small ways before he stopped. Looking around Hinamori saw that they were behind her division's meeting area. A small, dim lamp hung a ways away and provided the only visible light.

"Hinamori…" The voice called again and it took Hinamori a moment to delight in the sound of her name covered in the chocolate huskiness of his voice.

She looked at Hitsugaya standing before her as she leaned against the wall of the building behind her.

"Yes, Hitsugaya-Kun?" she tilted her head at him.

He took a step forward, closing her in between his granite body and the wall behind her. Reaching out, he took her face in one of his palms, while the other rested on her waist, pulling her closer to him. She was instantly allured at the softness and yet, confidence of his fingers gently caressing her face. Subconsciously, her body yielded to his as her arms wrapped around his neck and her fingers danced in the soft hair there. A soft moan eloped from his lips as she backed against the wall, pushing him even closer to her small frame. "_Hinamori…"_ he whispered softly in her ear, "_I'm sorry, I can't stay long…" _Hinamori's grip around his neck tightened in response. "_I'll see you tomorrow, I promise." _He felt her nod against his cheek as he slowly pulled away.

"I have some things I need to take care of tonight so I need to get going… but I need to tell you something."

"Hm? What is it?" she asked, still holding one of his hands.

"It's more of a warning, actually." He said in such a serious manner that Hinamori couldn't help but devote all her attention to him. "It's about the third division. I think that it is best to stay away from them as much as possible."

Her eyes widened. "You mean Kira-Kun?"

"Actually, I meant Ichimaru. But I would keep an eye on Kira, too."

"But why, Hitsugaya-kun?"

"There seems to be some… threatening unfriendliness between Ichimaru and your captain. Some things were said at the end of today's meeting that could be interpreted as… menacing. I'm not sure what it all means… but be careful, Hinamori."

She nodded stiffly, trying to sort out his words in her head.

Sensing her confusion he placed his hand on her cheek once more and leaned in to kiss her forehead gently. "_It'll be fine… we'll get through this. I promise." _He whispered against her forehead, "_Now go and get some sleep… you need it." _And with that, he was gone.

Hinamori looked off in the direction that he went for a moment, and decided that he was right.

_He's always right… _She thought, somewhat bitterly as she smirked and turned to go to her quarters for some sleep.

--

As exhausted as she was, Hinamori was unable to grasp at sleep. She spent an hour or so tossing and turning, her body drained, but her mind frenzied by thoughts running rampage. Renji's injuries… Hitsugaya's words… everything. Giving up on sleep, she got up and put her black robes on over her white shitagi. She opened the door to her quarters and walked out into the deep night, turning towards her captain's quarters. She didn't want to disturb him, but Aizen-Taicho always had a way of calming her down.

Knocking timidly on his door, she was prepared to be turned away when the door opened and Aizen stood in the doorway with a warm smile on his face. "Come in, Hinamori-Kun."

--

Hitsugaya leapt from building to building towards Hinamori's quarters. His work for that night completed, he wanted to make sure that she was all right. The past few days had been stressful on everyone and he was sure his warning didn't help her out whatsoever. Gracefully landing to a stop in front of her quarters, he pressed his hand to her door to see if her riatsu was nearby. Surprised, he discovered it was, but not inside her room as he had predicted. Instead, he traced her to Captain Aizen's quarters. Not being able to control tiny pricks of jealousy, he slowly stalked his way there. Being thankful that he had always been good at covering up his riatsu, he looked in the window as he passed by.

There she was. Sitting protectively behind her captain with a warm smile on her face that copied the one on Aizen. He was sitting on the other side of the room writing and would constantly turn to her with a warm smile of laughter.

She looks so… so… happy.

He noticed the way her loose hair had fallen around her face, echoing her radiating smile. In her eyes, he could see the deep warmth that enveloped her soul.

Turning his attention to Aizen, Hitsugaya could clearly see that he was the source of the penetrating warmth. Everything about that man was warm and gentile. The way his deep brown eyes sparkled through his glasses to the way he would protectively place his hand on Hinamori's head. And his patience… Hitsugaya remembered when he first became a captain; Aizen was the one who basically taught him what it involved.

_I can see what Hinamori sees in him, _he thought to himself, _He's so warm and placid… the exact opposite of me. I shouldn't have been so… so forward with her. I knew this all along… I knew that she could only devote herself to him… I'm only confusing… myself… _

Hitsugaya swallowed hard and walked away; with every step becoming more and more furious for reasons he couldn't understand.

--

The next morning, Hinamori slowly opened her eyes to find herself in her own room, covered by her captain's robe. Glancing at the clock, her eyes widened and she instantly ran out the door.

I'm late… again. What are the others going to think? Good thing I know a shortcut.

Leaping over buildings, she found herself in a much better mood than she had been in a long time.

_I think I can make it on time! _She thought happily to herself as she rounded a corner. _It's a good thing I was able to sleep last night, or I might not even have the energy to _walk _to the lieutenant's meeting! I wonder how many lieutenants won't attend today because- _

She froze as she heard a drop of blood hit the wood pathway behind her.

Slowly turning around, she didn't even have time to take it all in before piercing screams ripped from her lungs. Her knees gave out and she fell to the ground, her sobs slashing out in loud, rapid gasps.

_It's impossible…! He… he can't be dead! He's… my captain… there's no way…! What… what is going on? _

"_Aizen… Aizen-Taicho!" _

Soon, the lieutenants that had been at the meeting ran to her side at the sound of her agony. Kira put his arm around her shoulders and turned her around to take her away from the scene. But, as they faced away from the bloodstained wall, there stood Ichimaru with an untrusting smile upturned on his face.

Her body trembled as she remembered Hitsugaya's words in her mind.

_Ichimaru… Ichimaru murdered my captain! _

Breaking free from Kira's grasp she grabbed Tobiume's hilt from her side and drew her sword, charging at Ichimaru.

"_You did it!" _She shouted as angry tears blurred her vision, "_You murdered my captain!" _

Before her blade could even scratch Ichimaru, another sword deflected her own.

"_Kira-Kun…!" _She gasped, shocked that her friend would save the traitor that _murdered Captain Aizen._

"_Kira_, _stand aside! This doesn't involve you!"_

"A sword that is pointed at my captain for whatever reason will be deflected." Kira said stoically as Ichimaru smirked one last time at Hinamori and turned on his heel.

"_He's getting away Kira! Stand aside!" _

"_No!"_

She leapt backwards. "Then you leave me no choice." She muttered quietly as she pointed her sword in front of her. "Snap! Tobiume!"

A fiery whirlwind surrounded her as she charged a fiery ball of riatsu at Kira.

"How rash." he muttered in return. "But, now you leave me no choice… Raise your head! Wabiske!" His sword distorted as he charged Hinamori. Ichimaru turned around to see how his lieutenant would fare in the fight, smirk still in place.

_I'm going to kill you, Kira! And then I'm going to kill the one that killed my captain! _Hinamori ravenously thought as she drew her sword back to slash at her opponent. With all she had, she severed her sword down.

Before she could feel the smooth slit of cutting flesh below her sword, or the sharp vibration of a block from her opponent, Tobiume was thrust to the ground by a … foot? She traced the foot upwards to the white-haired captain who had also blocked Kira's slash.

"H…Hitsugaya…Kun…"

His eyes sharply turned to hers in a defying glare that spoke his anger clearly. He stepped of her sword as he called to the lieutenants standing by.

"Place them under arrest."

Hinamori gasped in protest as Matsumoto grabbed her arms from behind.

"Hinamori!" He sharply called to her, "What was going through your head? You have no evidence, and yet you draw arms against one of your own? Especially when your top priority should have been to get Aizen-Taicho down from there!" He turned once again to her fellow lieutenants. "Take these two to the prison and lock them up immediately."

As soon as they were out of his sight, Hitsugaya turned to Ichimaru who spoke to him from behind.

"I'm sorry ya had to deal with one of my own, Taicho." he smirked.

"Then tell me, Ichimaru, why didn't you stop the fight yourself?" Hitsugaya's care for Hinamori in plain sight. Of course, there was no way he would care in the least for Ichimaru's lieutenant.

A few moments passed between them without words.

"I see." Hitsugaya finally said, "Then I can only interpret it that way, can I?"

"I have no idea what yer talkin' about, Taicho." Ichimaru grinned.

Hitsugaya directed his eyes right at him with an icy scowl worse than his usual one in place.

"You didn't stop the fight, because you were going to kill Hinamori. And I'm warning you, that if you cause her to spill _one drop _of blood… _I'll kill you." _

_Aizen may able to take her heart… and that's fine- I know she's happy and protected. But once someone dares try to take her life… that is unforgivable. _

--A/N--

First of all. I'm sorry. Sorry sorry sorry.

I had it all set and everything to post online… and when I went back the next morning to finish editing and upload the sucker… it was gone.

Well… I managed to find it. But it took a long time… and I wasn't about to re-write.

--


	6. Broken Night

Remembering Winter

Chapter Six: Broken Night

--A/N--

So first of all- I changed all of my chapter titles. I was running out of ideas. Go me, right? … Yeahhh.

Yay for skipping re-capping and making up my own plot that totally never happened but we all wish did.

No, really, I'm sick and bloody tired of just adding on to what we already know… so… we're going to shorten those parts. Considerably. I really can't think of much more to add to them, I guess.

Disclaimer: I don't own bleach. If I did, I would make dubs illegal.

--

"Taicho. She needs you."

Matsumoto looked over the back of the couch she was lounging on to her captain seated in his desk. Honestly, _she _had completed _double_ the paperwork he had in the past hour. That itself was a good sign that there was something else on his mind.

"No, she doesn't. She needs Aizen." He replied stiffly, not bothering to look to his lieutenant.

Matsumoto sighed in annoyance at her childish captain.

"Well, she cant very well have Aizen-Taicho, now can she?"

Hitsugaya looked up at her. "Obviously. Now shut up and do your paperwork."

"You know, Taicho, " Matsumoto sighed as she got up from the couch and walked over to the front of her captain's desk "I think that you are too afraid to face her after this afternoon's incident, ne? Maybe you just don't want to see a different side of your precious little Hinamori. Or maybe-"

"Matsumoto." he cut her off in a warning tone that told her if she said one more word…

"Gomei, Taicho." She said with a slight bow as she sat back down on the couch and picked up her pen.

After a few moments of pricing silence suffocating the room, Matsumoto looked slightly over her shoulder to see her captain's expression fathomed in indescribable worry as he clutched his pen so tightly it looked as though it would break in two. She turned her eyes back to the paper she was filling out only to hear him slam the cracked pen on the desk and run from the room, turning towards the division's prison.

Matsumoto smiled in achievement as she pulled a bottle of sake out from under the couch.

--

His running footsteps echoed through the heavy air suffocating the dark stone building. Darting through the never-ending hall of rooms with barred cells his eyes seared for a small girl in a state he was afraid of. Slowing to a walk, he reached the end of the hall. One single room was left. The single, small window in the cell provided only a memory of light from the stars soaring freely outside. Drawing closer to the bars separating the captive from freedom he was able to make out a crumpled figure in the center of the cell. He knew instantly.

"Hinamori…" his whisper reached through the bars to her. She didn't move. It nearly broke his heart to see her so… so…

"Ah! Hitsugaya-Taicho-" A prison guard erected himself to his right. He had obviously been sleeping.

"Leave." Hitsugaya said coldly before the worthless guard could say another word.

"B-But Hitsugaya-Taicho, I have s-strict orders from-"

"I told you to leave. It wasn't a question, it was an order and I would suggest you follow it. " He pointed to the lock refining Hinamori. "Open it."

With a meek "Hai, Hitsugaya-Taicho." the guard fumbled for the correct key with trembling fingers, opened the lock, and walked away as quickly as he could without seeming as though he were running from the young captain.

As soon as the guard's frantic footsteps were out of earshot Hitsugaya slowly opened the gate to Hinamori's cell and speechlessly walked over to the frail figure on the floor. Her head was turned to the window where slivers of starlight scared her face through the metal bars. Kneeling down behind her shivered figure, he gently placed his hand on her arm as they stayed in silence.

"I'm sorry." Hinamori broke the silence with a weak and trembling voice. "I shouldn't have been so emotional. And…and I'm sorry that you had to deal with it. Please, don't blame Kira-Kun for anything… It was all my fault."

Unsure of how to respond, Hitsugaya let the aching silence fill the room once more.

"Don't be sorry. Your reaction… was understandable. Or, at least it should have been… I should have been more… empathetic."

"Its okay. I know that's how you are, Hitsugaya-Kun. You think about rules and laws before emotions."

"Not exactly. I was actually thinking that it might be nice to you alive instead of killed by Kira. Not to say that he could. I'm pretty sure it would tear that guy apart to lay a scratch on you."

Hinamori replied with a tiny sigh that could be interpreted as some sort of laughter and then they listened to the silence slide through the cracks once more.

"I should be getting back to my division now…" Hitsugaya said deciding he had had enough of the awkward stillness between them and shifted to stand up. "I will fill the report out and we'll get you out of here tomorrow, I promise. I'll come and see you tomorrow morning." Sensing no form of reply, he stood up and turned to walk to the door when she grabbed his haori. Startled, he looked down at her and for the first time that night, looked into her eyes. Any trace of their usual brightness had dispersed, leaving a blank dullness behind. Deep, tired bags of purple hung from her lower lids as sullen tears clung to her eyelashes. But, most of all, he could see the loneliness and depression she was keeping inside as much as she could.

"Don't… don't leave me… " Her voice hoarse and cracked from fighting tears.

Kneeling back down next to her he nodded slightly. This time, instead of facing away from him, Hinamori's head fell onto his lap, and her arms wrapped around his waist as she let the tears fall freely from her eyes. "Don't… leave me! Don't leave me alone!" she sobbed out to him.

"I wont, Hinamori. I'm right here. " He calmly said as he rubbed her back gently.

_No wonder. Aizen left her alone without a warning… It's only reasonable that she needs someone right now…_

--

Time was lost in the hours spent on the floor of the cell, the silence between them scared away by Hinamori's aching sobs. After awhile, her cries died down to her normal, gentle breathing and Hitsugaya was able to lift her off of his lap.

"Are you feeling better?"

She nodded, unable to speak through her dry and cracked throat. Looking up at him through puffy bloodshot eyes she cracked out a small "Arigato" as he handed her a glass of water from a colander nearby. She tenderly sipped it as Hitsugaya walked over to the small cot on the other side of the cell and ripped the folded mattress off of the frame. Dragging it over to where Hinamori sat on the floor, he unfolded it to make it large enough for two.

"W-what are you doing?" Hinamori asked with large eyes.

"Isn't it obvious?" He asked in his usual matter-of-fact tone. "I'm spending the night here since you can't make it without turning into a puddle of tears."

As he walked back to the de-matressed frame to get the blankets left behind Hinamori couldn't help but break a small smile on her depressed lips.

_Its just like old times, isn't it, Shiro-Chan? _

She thought to herself, recalling just _how _she acquired the "Bed-Wetter" nickname.

They had lived together for as long as Hinamori could remember. All she knew of her past was that she was found outside Hitsugaya's Grandmother's house in Rukongai when she was only a baby. She was only a little bit older than Hitsugaya at the time, so they went through the same times of their lives together. (Well, mostly. Hitsugaya still hadn't hit his growth spurt yet, which she informed him of constantly.) For as long as Hinamori could remember living with Hitsugaya, she remembered having a re-occurring nightmare that was un-recallable once she woke up, leaving her trembling, terrified, and alone in the suffocating darkness. After one extremely treacherous episode when she woke up screaming for her life she covered her face with her covers and silently wept the tremors away. Soon the covers were gently drawn back revealing a pair of concerned emerald eyes looking down at her. Without any questions, the young Hitsugaya lifted her up and handed her a new shitagi from her drawers. As she changed he quickly and quietly unfolded his own mattress for them to share for the duration of the seemingly never-ending night. Gently taking her hand in the blackness, he led her to the makeshift bed and as soon as she lied down, he scooted as far to the other side of the mattress as he possibly could. But, as soon as she called out his name into the eavesdropping darkness, he was right beside her, holding her close as if to tell her that he would fight her dreams away. That was all it took. Hearing his steadily reliable heartbeat through his chest her heart matched his pace and she was soon drawn into a deep and dreamless sleep.

Every night for a while it was the same routine. She would wake up and crawl into his bed seeking the calming arms that held her shivering body so tightly. Never once was she turned away. And soon she gave up on sleeping by herself altogether. Hitsugaya was the only one who was able to seethe comfort into her veins. By the time she moved away to Seiretei, she had adapted to sleeping by herself, as the nightmares became a rarity. Only, once her piercing screams woke up half the barrack in the middle of the night… she soon realized that the intensity of the dreams had increased. Soon Hitsugaya entered the Gotei, and just like the old times, he was the one she ran to. Even if he was a bit more reluctant to comfort her than when they were little, he still held her close as she slipped back to sleep, away from the claws of her dreams.

Looking back now, she really shouldn't be called a bed-wetter anymore, since she hadn't had a soul-tearing dream in a long time. Now, Hitsugaya on the other hand, well he was still short. So "Shiro-Chan" still fit. Much to his disgust. She could hear his aggravated correcting in her mind: "_Its Hitsugaya-Taicho! Is it that hard to remember, Hinamori? Hinamori?…"_

"Hinamori!" a voice knocked her hard out of her daydream.

"E-Eh?"

Hitsugaya was kneeling in front of her, looking at her as though she had lost her mind.

"Baka." He muttered as he stood up, shaking his head.

Hinamori stood up behind him and gently pulled off his captain's haori before he could, and folded it before setting it down on the floor. Looking up at his bemused expression, she gently smiled a small smile. "Arigato, Hitsugaya-Kun. For always being there."

"… Its Hitsugaya-Taicho."

Did she expect anything else? Of course not.

Pulling off her black layer of robes, she sat down on the lumpy mattress while she let her hair down from its restraining bun. Only half of the pins clinching her hair were out when Hitsugaya sat down on the bed next to her.

"Do you think…" He slowly began as she stopped gently pulling out pins to look at him, "That is slightly strange that we keep sleeping together?" A second pause as he realized what he was saying allowed his face to turn a bit red. "I-I mean-"

He was cut off by a small giggle from Hinamori's side of the mattress as she began her hunt for clips again.

Ignoring his own miss-interpretation she responded "Sure, Hitsugaya-Kun. Whatever you think."

_Apparently he doesn't remember when we were little… _

"Its Hitsugaya-Taicho and how many pins do you put in your hair? Holy hell."

"Well, usually not many at all… I just had left my hair up last night and then I pinned stray hairs back on my way to the… " She trailed off as the last pin fell from her hair and the first tear rolled down her cheek, remembering finding Aizen on her way to the meeting that morning.

Hitsugaya looked over at her when she didn't finish her sentence to find her face pressed in her hands and tears seeping through the cracks in between her fingers. Not delaying a second, he wrapped his arms around her as she turned into his side, her frail figure shivering against his.

"I-I don't u-unders-stand…" she choked out "How c-could he die? How, Hitsugaya-Kun? How?"

All he could do was gently caress her back as he felt her tears seep through his shitagi. Soon enough, her breathing returned to normal from her hoarse panting and her body leaned against his in weak relief. Tenderly, he lifted her broken body from his chest, and laid her down on the mattress, and himself down next to her. Automatically, he felt her shift into the cavity of his chest that she fit perfectly and wrapped her arms tightly around him; one around his neck and the other around his waist, with her face buried in his neck. A small smile spread across his face as his arms pulled her closer.

"Still cant sleep on the other side of the bed huh, Bed-Wetter?" He gently teased at their closeness.

"Shut up, Shortie." she murmured through a veil of sleep.

After a pause, Hitsugaya asked "Momo… will you be okay?"

He felt her nod slightly against his neck. "It hurts right now. That he just walked out of my life without a word."

_He was like my father… just walking away from me and I'd never get a chance to see him again. Don't you ever do that to me, Hitsugaya-Kun… I don't know if I would be able to endure it… _

She felt his fingers rub her arm comfortingly as her mind and body finally gave into the seduction of sleep.

Hitsugaya's eyes remained open as he looked out the window into the starry abyss. And to the dreaming darkness around him he murmured to himself, "I know it's hard… to loose the person you love more than anything. And I might have been happy that he is gone, if I hadn't respected him so much for whom he was. " He looked at the aburn hair that was spread across his chest and he gently twirled a strand through his fingers, "… And because it hurts too much to see you this way." he murmured as he kissed her hair and pressed out the rest of the world other than the small woman next to him as he drifted into a dreamless sleep.

--

_Its like last night never happened to her… _

Her sword was drawn. But not at Ichimaru who stood paces away with a threateningly corrupt grin on his face. No, the cold, harsh blade was pressed against his throat. The holder's teared-up eyes told him what her words never could. Clearly speaking the pain, betrayal, and torment 'he' had put her through stabbed him clear through.

_Aizen's letter? What is she talking about?_

How was it possible…? But yet, there she stood, convinced that Hitsugaya had murdered her captain. And that he was now planning to destroy Soul Society?

_That's crazy…! How could I kill Aizen? I was the one who warned her to be careful! _

Looking across to Ichimaru's sly smile… Hitsugaya's anger flared.

_It was you… Ichimaru! _Was his only thought as he charged towards the betrayer, knocking Hinamori out of the way and to the ground, unconscious.

He turned to her still figure.

Then he saw the blood dripping from her hands and seething into the hilt of Tobiume.

"_Ichimaru…"_ He said calmly through clenched teeth " I thought I told you… that if you caused Hinamori to spill blood… _I'd kill you myself!" _

On the last words, his icy riatsu erupted into the night air and the smirk plastered on Ichimaru's face only grew larger.

--- Author's Note ---

Huzzah! We officially start official plot next chapter! Be excited! Do a little boogie! Eat starbursts!

I love starbursts. They were my fuel for this chapter.

So thanks for reading! And I'll send out Chapter Seven as soon as humanly possible.

But now… I'm going to bed. I'm this close to falling asleep on my keyboard.


	7. Awakenings

**Remembering Winter**

Chapter Seven: Awakenings

--Author's Note--

Okay, so, first of all (I promise to make this one short and sweet, I'm too excited to get on with the chapter to blab! Its the **plot-turning chapter!**) the punctuations and symbols for change of views between Hitsugaya and Hinamori should all be in place this time! I downloaded that "Open Office" finally... and its wonderful. Highly recommended. The only thing that pisses me off is that I'll be "in the mode" and just writing away with my Joshua Radin playing and this god-forsaken light bulb keeps popping up in the lower corner. One of these days... that light bulbs going to get it.-Shakesfist-

okay, okay, okay... I'll get on with it!

Enjoy the chapter! It made me cry writing it. But then again, I started crying when my neighbor was telling me about their cat dying. I didn't even know the cat. His name was Tucker.

Well, this chapter is dedicated to Tucker, then. Yay for you, kitty, yay for you.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. If I did, this would probably happen. But like I said, I cry over unknown cats. So I'm probably the only one who wants it.

Oh, and this chapter is absolutely massive. I'm not kidding. Eleven pages. ELEVEN. Well, enjoy.

--End Author's Note--

Foggily, the room came into focus from long-shut eyes. Pale walls, pale sheets, pale sunlight fading in. Reaching a hand towards her face, Hinamori rubbed her hand down her cheek wondering just how she ended up in the fourth division infamy. Slowly sitting up, she recalled the events of the night before as her head throbbed painfully. She reached for the small bottle of pills on the nightstand and took three of them with a sip of water from a glass next to the bottle. Sighing, she tied her hair out of her face as she noticed Aizen's letter on the table, as well. Holding the frail papers in her hands she felt familiar tears sting her eyes.

_Whats going on? Why would Hitsugaya-Kun murder Aizen-Taicho? But then, what about Ichimaru-Taicho? Did Hitsugaya-Kun fight him last night? And how did I end up here? _

Her eyes widened.

_Hitsugaya. I... I drew my sword on him. What if he wasn't the murderer? What if Ichimaru-Taicho was trying to cover it up? Hitsugaya doesn't seem like the kind who would murder someone. But... Taicho's letter... What about the way Hitsugaya has been acting lately? Was he only pretending to feel that way about me to... to distract me from the truth? So, he was only pretending to care about me all along? Just to get me out of the way of his plans? But then what about Ichimaru-Taicho? I don't understand whats going on here... _

Deciding she was getting nowhere with asking herself mindless questions, she pulled on her robes, broke though Hitsugaya's kido barrier guarding her door, and took off in the direction of his flaring riatsu.

--

"Damn you, Kira!" Hitsugaya shouted over the sound of tiles cracking under his flash-stepping feet. "Wait! Answer my question, damn it! Were you the one who killed the members of Room 46? If not, who did, Kira? Kira!"

Kira only grinned in a sly smirk that resembled his captain's. "Maybe instead of chasing me, you should go and save Hinamori again. Seeings how well it went last time. You cant tell me you didn't notice, Taicho. Hinamori's been following you all along."

Hitsugaya's heart fell.

_Hinamori... _

"Motsumoto!" he shouted to his Lieutenant over his shoulder.

"Hai, Taicho!"

_She can easily handle Kira. Hinamori... I'm coming._

But he was too late to stop to the inevitable.

_--_

"_... Aizen-Taicho..." _

Tears poured down her face as her captain stood before her. It was _him_. He looked, smelled, smiled... just like him.

"_... Aizen-Taicho!" _

Her heart filled as his arms wrapped her in a warm, comforting embrace. He was speaking, apologizing for leaving her like he had, but the words were lost as all that mattered was that her Aizen-Taicho was alive. He was _alive... _

"I'm sorry for making you worry, Hinamori-Kun. There were reasons for what I did, and I'm sorry I made you worry like I did."

"Its okay. Everything is okay- now that you are here, Aizen-Taicho." She sobbed as she buried her tears in the front of his robes."

Aizen smiled. "I'm happy to hear that, Hinamori. I couldn't ask for a better Lieutenant than you. Arigato."

She sighed contentedly.

"... Goodbye."

Her eyes widened as a force pushed her backwards.

_What happened? W-why do I feel pain? _

Looking down, she saw that Aizen's sword had pierced her through. Red streams of blood dripped from the blade. Her blood.

_Whats going on...? Aizen-Taicho...? Why...? _

She looked up at him, her eyes begging for answers. Begging to wake up from this awful dream. Begging for the comfort that her captain could give her with a simple smile... but all she found was a cruel stranger. His gentle smile and deep, patient eyes had turned cold and harsh.

_Why...? Hitsugaya... I-..._

She fell to the ground, her last breath dragged out from her broken body. Her last thought of the Hitsugaya she loved, begging him not to follow her. Praying that he would stay alive.

--

"Aizen?...!" Hitsugaya appeared behind Ichimaru and Aizen.

_Wait... If they are together... what's going on...? I thought Ichimaru was the one who killed Aizen... But Aizen isn't dead... so then why did he fake his death? And what are they talking about with this "using Izuru as a distraction, and how it was strategy for distracting enemies"? What enemies? Who are they talking about...? I traced Hinamori's riatsu to this place... but I cant sense a trace of it anymore... _

Then he saw the fresh blood drip from Aizen's zanpakutō as a sickening wave of realization hit him as he swallowed hard. "...Where is Hinamori?"

Aizen only smirked, "Well where could she be...?"

_No... please, no... _

Seeing the dark room that the pair had just exited, he shun-po'ed between them and into the pitch black where his greatest fear became a reality before his eyes.

"... Hina... mori... " His voice choked out.

Breathing suddenly felt like suffocation at the sight of her broken form on the floor. Crimson blood poured from her fatal wound and pooled around her. It felt as though it was his own blood that was splattered on the floor. Kneeling down next to the bleeding girl and gently held her in his arms. Blood poured into his hands as her body hung lifelessly.

"_Momo... Momo...!" _A voice that he hardly recognized cried in pain. The voice was coated in panic and fear. The familiar calm and coolness was gone without a trace.

With trembling fingers he touched her cold face. A pasty pale color invaded her usual rosy cheeks, and red drops of blood were caked to her lips and had dripped down her chin. And finally, he drew in a shaky breath and braced himself for her lifeless eyes.

It was nothing he could have prepared for.

The usual crimson warmness that he could loose himself in had died. Leaving only a blank and hollow canvas that had been ripped apart. The luster that had once overflowed in them had died.

_I couldn't protect her... _He thought as a stranded tear ran down his face.

"Ne, Aizen-Taicho," Ichimaru smirked, "maybe you should'a been easier on tenth-squad Taicho. Really, I din't think he could cry in the firs' place."

Hitsugaya didn't hear a word. It was true, that he, himself, couldn't even remember the last time he shed a tear, but his attention was far from that, and all focusing on the woman in his arms. What he would give just to see her smile once more. Her laugh was just a memory in his mind now. And her sweet voice was simply and echo that was fading away.

Reluctantly, he laid her body down on the wood floor and turned his attention to the two men in the doorway of the room.

"Hm, I suppose you are correct, Gin. Too bad, Hitsugaya-Taicho," Aizen smirked, obviously not feeling bad about it whatsoever, "You found her. I suppose I should have at least cut her up in to tiny pieces so you couldn't find her. After that scene, I know now that I should have considered your emotions first. I'm terribly sorry, but I had to do it. I knew it from the very start. Right, Gin?"

"Aizen." He said, attempting to keep his voice steady through the raging emotions pouring over his soul. "Are you saying that you have been deceiving us all from the beginning? That we were all tools that meant nothing to you?"

Aizen only smiled wickedly. "It wasn't _deceiving_, Hitsugaya-Kun. It was that no one understood who I really was."

Anger flared inside of Hitsugaya. "No one _Understood?_ Hinamori... Hinamori admired you. She joined the Gotei and worked hard every day just so she could work under you. It was all she thought about, Aizen!"

"... And you had a problem with that, didn't you, Hitsugaya-Kun?"

"Aizen! That's not... You -"

"I know, I know, Hitsugaya-Kun. But I only pushed for her to be my Fuku-Taicho just for the fact that its so much easier to control someone who admires you like she did. Don't worry, it was nothing personal. And, remember this, _admiring is the farthest thing from understanding._"

Hitsugaya's eyes flashes in icy anger as his riatsu exploded through the concrete columns in the wide open area. Aizen and Ichimaru flew out of the way of the ice and debris just as Hitsugaya muttered "Bankai" under his breath.

"_Aizen. I'm going to kill you." _

Pure anger seethed from every pore as Hyorinmaru's magnificent ice wings formed on his back.

Charging at Aizen was the last thing he remembered before the same blade that was stained with Hinamori's blood sliced cleanly through his skin, and his own blood lashed up into the air before he fell to the iced ground, in complete shock.

_Hinamori... I-I couldn't... protect you. _

_--_

Mere days passed before Hitsugaya's eyes opened and he found himself in the Fourth Division's hospital. A large scar ran across his chest that wasn't there the last time he checked.

_Why am I here...? What happened, anyway? _

He brought his arm up and rubbed his forehead trying to remember just _how _he ended up with this large scar down his chest. He placed his hand over the scar and felt the remaining spiritual energy that the zanpakutō had left behind seep into his hand.

_Aizen! ... Wait, how long have I been asleep? What happened? Did he- _

His heart skipped a beat as the memory came back clear as day.

_Hinamori. If I'm alive... then maybe... maybe she... _

"Ah! Hitsugaya-Taicho! I see you are awake!" the friendly voice of Unohana-Taicho said from the doorway. She walked towards Hitsugaya's bed and placed her hand on his forehead, before placing her hand over his scar to preform Kido to heal it as much as she could.

"Ano, Unohana-Taicho? How exactly did I get here?"

"Well, while Isane sent the message to the captains, lieutenants and the Ryoka informing them of Aizen Souske's position, I preformed emergency healing on both you and Hinamori- Fuku-Taicho. The both of you were certainly dead, and had I not been there when I was, neither of you would be here ri- "

"_Is Hinamori-?!_" He asked so abruptly it startled Unohana.

"She's... alive." She said slowly and carefully. " But I'm afraid that due to the amount of both blood and spiritual energy that she lost, she was put into a coma. I have done all I can do to heal her, now its up to her whether she lives or not."

Silence evaded the room as Unohana continued to heal Hitsugaya's wound.

"Can I... can I see her?" He asked shyly.

Unohana smiled. "Of course you can, Hitsugaya-Taicho. Just as soon as you can prove that you are well enough to go back and continue your duties in your squad. Then, you can come by as often as you wish."

"...Arigato, Unohana-Taicho."

--

Only a few days later, Hitsugaya was released from under Unohana's care, and was able to go back to his office. Walking in the door after being away for some amount of time was always an... adventure to say the least. The floor was usually coated with a thick later of drained sake bottles and mis-matched paperwork.

If he had expected this time to be any different, he was clearly delusional.

"_Motsumoto..." _He growled when the door wouldn't slide open all the way due to a sake bottle wedged in it.

The redhead immediately perked up from the floor on the other side of the couch.

"Taicho! I-uh, didn't know you would get out so early!"

"I heal fast. So shut up and clean this place. And make me some tea." he finished as he sat down behind his cluttered desk, shifting papers into piles to start working on the paperwork his lieutenant was _supposed to_ do while he was absent.

Motsumoto handed him his tea while he worked on his tenth paper and looked at him questioningly.

"What?" he looked up at her expression as he sipped his tea.

"You just returned to your squad, and you start paperwork?"

He shook his head in disbelief as he took another sip.

"Well really, Taicho. Have you even gone to see Hinamori since shes been in the hospital?"

Hitsugaya averted his eyes.

"Well... I-"

"_Hinaa... moriiii...!" _A voice wailed nearby.

Hitsugaya and Motsumoto looked at each other with wide eyes before bending over to look under Hitsugaya's desk to find Kira consoling himself with a bottle of sake in his arms.

"Kira," Hitsugaya asked, annoyed. (Why was _his_ office the drinking headquarters for Soul Society?) "What the hell are you doing?"

Kira responded by taking a deathly large swig of sake that could kill a cow.

"Well, could you at least _get out from under my desk?_"

Kira's bloodshot eyes glared at Hitsugaya, or, at least in the direction that he assumed he was through his cloud of intoxication and he pointed a wobbling finger at him. "Its _your _fault."

Hitsugaya raised an eyebrow. "What the hell are you talking about, Kira?"

"Its _your fault." _he repeated, more stern this time.

"For _God's sake_, Kira. What _the hell-_?"

"He's been saying that for days." Motsumoto cut in before Hitsugaya froze Kira to the desk. "He came to see me, to apologize for what he did, and well, things got a little out of hand and I don't think hes really been thinking clearly ever since- due to the amount sake hes consumed. While I, of course, am not affected by the alcohol whatsoever... _anyway_, It seems like he's blaming you for something. I just don't know _what._" She tapped her chin, as if she was in deep thought.

Hitsugaya blinked at her. Obviously annoyed beyond comprehension.

"Okay, whatever. Kira, yes, everything is '_my fault'_ and as long as you are quiet, you can stay under my desk. Motsumoto- _clean this place up. _Then you can make up all the paperwork you left for later."

Hitsugaya got off the floor and sat down in his desk chair to continue making his way through the mountain of paperwork. Motsumoto rolled her eyes and began to pick up the scattered sake bottles off the coffee table. Hitsugaya was just about to sign a living world report when he stopped and slammed his pen down on the table.

"_Kira..._" he growled "That... would be my shoe. It would be nice if you would give it _back._"

"Its _your fault... _"

Hitsugaya clenched his teeth and shut his eyes, attempting to control the sudden urge to throw Kira out a window.

"_All your fault..."_

"_Motsumoto. _Leave. _Now." _Hitsugaya growled through clenched teeth.

"Ano... Taicho... maybe you should-"

"_NOW."_

"H-hai." She murmured quickly and scampered from the room. As soon as she was down the hall, Hitsugaya stood up from his chair forcibly, sending it crashing to the wall behind him.

In one swift motion, Hitsugaya grabbed Kira by his shirt collar and threw him against the far wall. In a flash, he was in front of the bedraggled Kira and pinned him against the wall by the throat.

Pure anger seethed around him as his turquoise eyes flashed. _"What the hell is 'my fault' Kira? And if you don't tell me right now, I can guarantee you will regret it." _

Much to Hitsugaya's disgust, Kira seemed unaffected by the sudden movement other than possibly a little more sober than before as he stared emotionless back at him.

"You really don't see it, do you, Hitsugaya-Taicho?"

"... See _what_, Kira?... Look, I just got out of the hospital, Aizen not only nearly killed me, but also Hinamori who just so happens to _be in a Goddamn coma right now! Do _not _fuck with me, Kira!" _

Kira's face remained emotionless as he digested the words that were being thrown at him, clearly sensing the icy tension swirling around the room.

"Its your fault... that Hinamori is in the situation she's in right now." He spoke quietly, and not making eye contact with Hitsugaya.

Hitsugaya's eyes widened as he dropped Kira to the floor.

"_What did you just say?"_

"I said..." Kira paused and took a few deep breaths for confidence, "that it is your fault that Hinamori is hurt."

When Hitsugaya didn't respond, Kira looked up at him to find his icy eyes focused on his in a less-than-friendly manner.

_I'm going to murder him... _

"Well?" Hitsugaya folded his arms across his chest to keep himself from drawing Hyorinmaru and choking Kira to the wall with _that_ clear through this throat. "Would you care to elaborate, Kira Izuru?"

Hitsugaya had never thought too highly of the Third Squad's Lieutenant, and after certain actions he had taken as of late, Hitsugaya had found himself thinking even less of the scumbag. Why Hinamori was seen in public with him was something he would never understand.

"Well... I... I don't think that Aizen-Tai... That Aizen would have taken such extreme measures if... if she hadn't been so close to... to you."

"What are you trying to tell me, Kira? The only way for you to know that is if you were with them. Are you trying to tell me that you were on the inside with Aizen and Ichimaru? That you knew what was going on with them from the very start? Because then I _hardly _think that you have the right to be interrogating _me_ about this." With every word, Hitsugaya had stepped closer to Kira, who had backed away until he hit the wall he had been restrained on minutes before.

"N-No! No, Hitsugaya-Taicho! You-you're getting the wrong i-idea!" Kira stuttered with his hands out in front of him.

"Oh, _am I? _Because, Kira, It seems like you are the one who has the wrong idea here. In case you don't recall, _I _was the one that stopped your fighting. _I _was the one that saved her that same day from being murdered by Ichimaru. _I _was the one that warned her to be careful. _I _was the one who held her when she had no one else. _I _was the one who fought Ichimaru in her place. _I _was the one who chased after her. _I _was the one who found her bleeding on the ground. _I was the one who held her when she died. And we cant possibly forget that I was the one who died for her. _Tell me, Kira, what were you doing while I was doing everything I possibly could to protect her?" He paused, waiting for a pathetic excuse from the startled Kira. "Thats okay, we all know. _You were doing everything you could to go against her._"

Silence filled the room as Hitsugaya backed away from Kira, trying to control his searing riatsu and erratic breathing as Kira stayed frozen in place in fear from the icy captain.

"You're in love with her." Kira said quietly.

Hitsugaya stared at him with an arched brow before turning to walk back to his desk.

Kira regarded the white-haired captain. "Its your fault..."

_If I hear him say that one more time... _

"...that she doesn't love me in return."

"What?" Hitsugaya stopped and turned to him with questioning eyes.

_He loves her? _

Kira only shook his head.

"You two go back too far. Sure, we went to the Academy in the same year, and we were very close, but you were all she would ever talk about. Once you joined the Academy she would spend less and less time with me, not to mention her other school friends. Then you became a captain and I rarely see her at all outside of lieutenant meetings now."

Hitsugaya arched a brow. "Is this what you are so worked up about? That her and I are so close? Hell, Kira, her and I grew up together. I'm practically her brother. " He spoke clearly.

"Hm." Kira murmured. "So when her long-time friend touches her cheek she shudders away, but when her 'brother' pushes her up against a wall behind the Fifth Division its completely fine."

Hitsugaya's heart skipped a beat.

_He saw? But... but how? Was he following us...?_

"You must be mistaken, Kira. I have no idea what you are talking about." he attempted to pull off in a smooth voice.

Kira only looked at him with a slightly sad expression that turned to challenging eyes.

"Just remember, Hitsugaya-Taicho. In the end, _I _will have her. I can promise you that. After all, you are only just a captain. Thats all she sees in you- your strength. Too bad you weren't able to save her. You just got the both of you killed instead."

Hitsugaya stared at Kira for a long moment, not sure what to make of what Kira was saying.

"Kira..." he spoke with authority, "I think your squad needs you now. Go back now, thats an order."

Kira walked out and shut the door behind him without another word, leaving Hitsugaya questioning everything that just happened.

Deciding he needed a break from the office that swarmed of his riatsu, he walked out of his office, past lower-level shinigami recovering from his spirit pressure outburst, and towards the Fourth Division.

--

Walking down the hallway lined with hospital rooms searching for the one with Hinamori's name beside the door was nerve wracking for Hitsugaya. He hadn't visited her yet, mainly because he was scared to see what she looked like. The image that his mind retained of the last time he saw her had been haunting him ever since. Her cold face and pale skin... the blood dripping into pools cupped in his hands and the empty eyes... all of it was driving him insane. Finally, he found the room that had "Hinamori Momo -Squad Five" listed next to the sliding door. Breathing deeply, he slid the door open quietly as the room inside came into focus.

There she was... lying so still on the bed that for a moment he was scared that she really had died. He quietly stepped closer until he reached the edge of her bed. Her skin still held a translucent pale tone and deep circles clung under her eyes. He swallowed hard.

"Oh Hinamori... " he whispered to her. Not knowing what else to say, and not being able to look at her still form any longer he turned to leave the sterile room. Before he could get to the door a voice called to him from behind.

"She needs to hear the voice of someone who needs her in return." called the sweet voice of Unohana.

Hitsugaya turned his head sideways towards her. "I'm not the one she needs." he murmured as he walked quickly from the room.

--

Days turned to weeks, and weeks to months. Slowly, Soul Society recuperated after the betrayal that scarred everyone. Hopefuls for the open captain positions lined up to take the captain's exam, while the struggling squads tried to pull things together as much as they could under their Lieutenant's commands. As they days moved past, Soul Society began to get anxious for the up-coming winter war due to Aizen's control over the Hōgyoku. Yamamoto soon called Hitsugaya to a meeting asking him if he would be able to go to the living world to regulate the hollow numbers and powers, and if there is any increase in either. Not to mention fighting off the more powerful hollow, and giving Soul Society reports on any abnormal sightings. Hitsugaya declined the offer, not wanting to leave Hinamori until he knew she was safe. His visits to Hinamori became more and more frequent the longer she was asleep. Some days (If Matsumoto would actually _do _her share of the paperwork) he would visit her two or three times, for a few hours each time.

There was something about simply being beside her that could calm him down if the day had been stressful. He would never speak to her, only sit in the chair beside her and watch her slow and steady breathing, as if he was afraid that if he left, she would cease to. It was a calming place to hide away. Far away from the business of the divisions, he could sit in peace and think about all that had happened that day, as if he was telling her what she had missed.

The longest time he had ever spent by her side was immediately after all the havoc in Soul Society had calmed, and right after Ichigo and the other Ryokas left Soul Society.

He remembered thinking that if Ichigo Kurosaki had risked his life just to save Rukia Kuchiki, then he was clearly insane. She was just someone he had known for a month, right? She shouldn't be that hard to forget after such a short time.

Until he saw them together after the whole ordeal was over, and Ichigo knew she would be safe. They were standing in the small garden behind the Fifth Division, just standing there, a foot apart- staring at each other with such intensity that you could cut it. Until neither of them could take the separation any longer and Rukia was pulled up into Ichigo's arms so tightly, Hitsugaya feared for a moment that he would break her in half. They looked so perfect, like they completed each other. Rukia's petite form was so easily protected by Ichigo's tall and firm body that it just seemed like neither could survive without the other.

He could clearly see why he risked everything to save her.

Immediately, he went to Hinamori's side, wishing that he could have done for Hinamori what Ichigo did for Rukia. The most he could do now, was sit beside her and wait. And hope with all his heart that she would come back to him. He missed everything about her. Her smiles, her laughter, even her hateful habit of calling him "Shiro-Chan". The only thing he could do was sit beside her as she slept through her never-ending dream.

"Taicho!" Matsumoto's voice sounded from the entry to Hinamori's hospital room, knocking him out of his daze.

"Hmm?" Hitsugaya murmured, not taking his eyes off Hinamori in front of him.

"There's a bit of an emergency within the squad. Can you come with me?"

He darted a sly glare to his lieutenant before directing his eyes back to Hinamori.

"What is it, and why cant you handle it?"

"Err- well, we have to select squad members to set up the defense line in the living world to be prepared for Aizen's attack. Captain Commander said we needed to get that set out as soon as possible, Taicho."

Just hearing the name 'Aizen' spoken sent a tremor of anger seething through his veins.

"Okay, Motsumoto. I'll meet you back at the office."

"Hai, Taicho." she murmured as she walked out of the room.

Hitsugaya reached down and took Hinamori's hand in his own. It startled him at how cold it was and how limply it hung in his palm. He swallowed hard, preparing to say the words that had been on his lips for months.

"I know that this is strange coming from me, Hinamori... especially since I haven't said anything to you for... for quite awhile. But, I'm sorry that I couldn't protect you. This may sound strange, but I actually made a promise to myself that I would. I let myself down. But more than that, I wasn't there when you needed me the most. And... I'm so sorry for that. I know that you don't need me, but ... Hinamori... I need you. Maybe you didn't know it, but you protected me without me even realizing it. Hell, Hinamori, I don't even know who I am right now. I spend all my time right here trying to figure out why. ...I need you... just to be alive and happy. I don't need anything more."

Hitsugaya looked at her sleeping face and gently laid her hand down by her side before turning to leave for his division.

_Kira was right. Whats point is there to deny it? _

_But I know that I will always love you. _

Walking out of her hospital room and leaving her sleeping form behind that day was for the last time.

--

Hitsugaya sat at his desk in the silent office finalizing his candidates for the Defense Team. Weeks had gone past since the last day he visited Hinamori and he couldn't help but wonder if her condition had gotten any better in the span of time he stayed away from her, trying to ice over his emotions that she had melted away. He had overheard Motsumoto talking to Renji, saying that Kira had taken over Hitsugaya's place at her side while she slept. A small pang of jealousy had hit him square in the chest, but he knew it was for the best.

He tapped his pen against his lips before finishing the paper with his signature and setting the document inside his desk drawer to bring for Captain Commander Yamamoto tomorrow at the meeting. Leaning back in his chair he caught a glimpse of the weather outside. Colder than usual. Just the way he liked it. Happily, he saw that Motsumoto actually did her share of the paperwork and was just about to get up and make some tea when the door to the office flew open.

He opened his mouth to give the intruder a piece of his mind when he saw it was Motsumoto.

That just made him angrier.

"MOTSUMOTO!" he shouted "WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOU-"

"SHUT UP, TAICHO!" she cut him off in a louder volume than his own.

Hitsugaya's eyes widened in surprise and anger. "HOW _DARE _YOU-"

She knew what was coming, so she ran to the front of the desk and covered his mouth with her hand to get her point across.

"Taicho! Its Hinamori! Shes- "

Hitsugaya threw Motsumoto's hand aside.

"Is she awake?!"

"Hai, Taicho!"

"Motsumoto!" He called halfway to the door, "Lets go."

"Hai!"

--

The brightness of the room burned Hinamori's weak eyes as she looked around to find Unohana looking down at her.

"... U-Unohana... Taicho?" she asked wearily.

"Yes, dear." she replied softly with a smile. "You've been asleep for quite some time now, so please, don't move or speak too much. You will be able to have some visitors soon, but right now I need you to rest."

"W-what happened... Unohana-Taicho? Why am I... here?" She spoke with a trembling voice.

_Why does my body feel so heavy? And why do I feel so week and tired? _

"You were seriously injured and you were put into a coma. We will talk more about it later. You don't need to worry yourself with that right now, just concentrate on getting better." Unohana replied as she put her hand to Hinamori's forehead. "I'll be right back, I will go get you a robe and some medication that will help with the weariness."

Hinamori could only nod slightly.

As soon as Unohana opened the door to the room, everyone waiting in the hallway started asking a surge questions. Nearly all the Lieutenants were there, as well as a few captains. Not to mention all of Hinamori's shinigami friends that had heard the news, as well. Off to the side stood Hitsugaya, simply waiting just to make sure she was okay.

Unohana looked into the room where Hinamori was concentrating on breathing, and back to the white-haired captain before calling out "Hitsugaya-Taicho!" over the excited crowd. Everyone turned to the unnoticed captain and let him past to speak with Unohana. All, except Kira, who insisted on being right beside Hitsugaya as he stood in front of Unohana.

"Hai, Unohana-Taicho?" Hitsugaya asked with as calm a voice as he could manage.

She smiled softly at him. "I need to run and get some things for her, will you please stay with her while I'm gone? I shouldn't be too long."

"Of course, Unohana-Taicho." he said as he walked past her into Hinamori's room, shutting the door behind him, and leaving a livid Kira behind.

--

With each step closer to her bed, the more his heart quickened. She seemed so still, and once he reached the side of her bed he saw that her eyes were shut and her heavy breathing told him she was sleeping. As quietly as possible, he walked to the other side of the bed where a chair sat next to a nightstand. He was just about to sit down when he heard a small noise come from Hinamori. Darting his eyes to her, he saw her eyelids flutter open wearily slow and her orbs of cinnamon turn to him.

"... Hinamori..." he murmured as he abandoned the chair and stepped to the side of her bed. "How... how are you feeling."

She blinked at him a few times before licking her dry lips. "I'm... tired. And I have an awful headache."

"Unohana said she was getting some things for you. She'll probably bring you something for the fatigue and the aching."

"Oh, thats where she went. I was wondering..."

She trailed off and a dull silence filled the room. Hitsugaya, unsure of what to say. And Hinamori, too weak to barely breathe.

"she... she should be back soon." he continued, attempting to fight away the desperate silence.

"So she left you to watch me while she was away?" she turned her eyes to him.

Hitsugaya nodded. "Yeah, I guess she wanted to make sure nothing happened while she was gone."

Hinamori looked at his Captain's haori. "Well I can see why. You must be pretty skilled at Kido. You're a captain, I see. I apologize if I'm not very polite right now... I'm just... so tired."

_Why is she talking like that? I've been a captain for a long time... _

"Actually, you haven't even told me your name. Are you new?" she asked with weary eyes.

Hitsugaya's eyes widened.

"H-Hina... mori? What are you talking about? You know who I am... " His voice trembled as he took a step closer and rested his hand on her arm.

She looked up at him and her eyes told him she was frantically trying to remember something she never knew.

"Its me... Its... Hitsugaya... We- ... You... " He took a step back.

She furrowed her brow and looked down. "Hitsu... gaya...?" she tried his name on her lips for what sounded like the first time. She looked back at him with eyes that told him how scared she was of him. "I-I'm sorry... I don't know who you are... you must be mistaken..."

His heart fell.

_She doesn't remember me... _

Backing further and further away from her he reached the door. "E-excuse me... " he trembled out before he threw open the door and ran out of the room, shocking all the shinigami standing in the hallway.

Running as fast as he could, he had no idea where he was going, and didn't care. His whole body was in sheer panic as her words replayed themselves and her confused eyes were burned into his memory. Finding a deserted forest outside of Seiretei, he let all the pent-up riatsu pour out of his body in one antagonizing scream, coating the forest in a sheet of ice. Collapsing in the snow he put his head between his hands and tried to calm his erratic breathing.

_She doesn't remember me... she doesn't remember me..._

_--_Author's Note--

There you have it. Eleven pages of drama.

I'm not exactly sure what to write next, so the next chapter may take a little while to get out as I think it up, kay?

Thankies for reading!

Oh, and don't forget a review. They make my day.

No, really. I get so happy... I cry sometimes  
My dad thinks I'm insane.


	8. Frozen Over

**Remembering Winter**

Chapter Eight: Frozen Over

--

First, I hate this chapter. No, not because I don't like what I wrote. But because two pages bloody disappeared that I had to re-write. And I saved it, too. God only knows _where_. -sighs angrily- I even did a full computer scan.

I sincerely apologize for the lateness of this chapter.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own bleach. I wonder if Tite Kubo has these sort of problems with loosing things? Because I'm totally backing all my crap up _twice_ from now on.

--

--

--

Searing streams of ice rippled up tree trunks and wound up and around the branches. Leaves, veneered with layers of smooth ice and silky flakes of snow, danced in the small clearing. Streams of pale sunlight filtered through the trees, melting the ice into dangling icicles hanging from the surrounding trees. Light breezes would whisper their names through the leaves, letting them sparkle like millions of diamonds. Hitsugaya sat, crumpled, leaning against a tree. Staring blankly into the dense forest, he wondered just how many sleepless nights he had been there, unmoving. His riatsu was still deadly, and still freezing over the surrounding area, keeping it cold and opaque. Not that it mattered to him. The arctic temperature was keeping him calm and in his own element.

Seclusion. It was the only thing that could help. Although, he couldn't help but wonder just how long it would take for someone to find him out here and drag him back to Seiretei.

_I could probably freeze them solid before they even got close to me... _

Going back wasn't an option. He couldn't bear sitting in his familiar office and knowing that _she_ was only a few building away, not even knowing of his existence. And he would be left with a deepening void, threatening to swallow him completely every time he looked into her eyes. A frozen trail of riatsu emitted itself from him and encircled itself tightly around a tree branch as he clenched his teeth in anger.

He was drawn from his thoughts by the sound of footsteps crunching through the frosted ground. Turning his head against the tree towards the sound, he heard a familiar voice call out for him.

--

"Taicho! Where are you? Taicho!" Motsumoto called out, grabbing on to a frosted tree at her side to help her step into the clearing. Her eyes darted around briefly before laying on her captain on the ground a few yards away.

"... Taicho..." she murmured as she walked over to him and knelt down beside him. His eyes followed her every move, as if he was afraid she would hurt him. Inside the pools of jade, the usual sharpness and brightness was gone, leaving behind a dull and vacant gash that held so much weariness inside. After staring blankly at her for a moment, he turned his head back to the forest without a word.

"Taicho... will you come back with me? We all need you." she asked softly and received no response. No sign that he even heard her. Gently, she placed her hand on his shoulder and he jerked from the sudden contact, causing her to draw her hand back sharply. Hesitantly, she reached out again, slower this time, and tenderly placed her fingers on her captain's shoulder. "Taicho..." she started again, "We really do need to get back... I know that you're scared... but-"

"Scared?" he cut her off sharply. "_Scared?_" he repeated, turning his eyes to her- suddenly glowing from an icy fire within him. "I've _been_ scared. This -right now- is _far_ from that!" His voice grew louder at every word. Abruptly, he jolted up and walked on unsteady feet to the center of the clearing where he turned sideways to her. "This... This is _terrified! _This is not knowing _who the hell_ _I am!_ This is wishing that I could just _die_ and get it _over with!_ This is... This is... " His voice broke on the last words as his feet gave out from underneath him. Immediately, Motsumoto was at his side, and lead him back to the tree he was sitting against when she found him. He pressed his hands against his face and curled his knees up to his chest. Reaching out once more, she gently pressed her hand against his back, to let him know that no matter what, he was not alone as heartbreaking cries of agony poured from her usually unemotional captain. Not sure what else to do, she simply sat beside him, her hand melting warmth into him past his cold skin.

Looking around at the unnatural arctic scenery, she decided that it would have looked elegantly beautiful on any other occasion. Due to Hitsugaya's torn depression, Hyōrinmaru was frantic inside, turning Hitsugaya's turbulent riatsu into shots of ice, and as of late, the pale sunlight was covered by heavy gray clouds. Occurrences like that were common when Hyōrinmaru was released to his own free will.

Sighing, Motsumoto leaned back against the tree and watched her clouded breath disperse away in a twisting dance. The coldness didn't bother her much anymore, it was something she had slowly grown used to. Constantly, the office would take on a chilling atmosphere whenever Hitsugaya's anger grew. On more than one occasion, ice had formed on the furniture that he had made her melt with her hairdryer. Glancing around at the scenery she knew it had never once been this bad before.

Before... he always had someone to go to.

This time... was something entirely different.

Hinamori had always been the one, let alone the only one, who had ever melted a part of him away. That, in itself, was something more powerful than love. It was a matter of being able to reach inside someone's soul... and awaken a part within that they never knew existed. It was something the other shinigami never noticed. Simply thinking that they were just so close because they grew up together, and that those deep feelings of friendship ignited into a strong fire that only grew more day by day was absolutely ... _absurd_. It was just... too simple of an explanation that didn't amend for she saw between them.

With a small smile, she remembered the first time she saw the two of them together.

-

Hitsugaya had followed in Hinamori's footsteps, and had become a shinigami. Motsumoto gladly toured him around Seiretei right after he was accepted into the Gotei and helping him out with his new tasks. What could she say? She felt responsible for the kid. It was her that convinced him to become a shinigami in the first place. Colleagues told her to stay away from him, after all he _was just _a kid, and would, most likely, soon be killed. But, what they didn't understand was that _because_ he was a kid, he would be so much more powerful in the future, when his spiritual energy would grow to amazing heights. And plus, he was so easy to tease! Shorty, Snowy- it was always the "S" names that got to him. Almost instantly, she felt as though she had a little brother.

She lead him all around Seiretei, showing him where all the division offices were. All while explaining to him what was expected of the common shinigami, like him and herself.

"Those white buildings over there are the Fifth Division. The current captain is Aizen Souske, and his Lieutenant, Ichimaru Gin will soon be promoted up to the Third Division's captain." she said as they stopped walking and she pointed to the Division in the distance.

Hitsugaya paused. "So then there will be a new Lieutenant for Squad Five?"

"Uhh-huh." Motsumoto muttered as she waved to a shinigami passing by "She's very sweet. You'd like her, Shorty" she winked at him.

Rolling his eyes at her he asked, "Have you ever considered becoming a Lieutenant yourself?"

Motsumoto laughed. "Changing the subject are we? Don't tell me- you already have a girlfriend back home, right?"

He only had to glare at her.

"Okay, okay... don't turn Seiretei into Antarctica. And yes- I have considered becoming a Lieutenant myself, but I haven't found a captain that I've wanted to work directly with, yet. I guess I would gladly work with Gin, but he already has a new Lieutenant scheduled to enter office when he does." she tapped her chin in thought, "What was his name again...? Kira? Oh yeah! Kira Izuru."

Hitsugaya's trademark frown grew deeper.

"Are you close to Ichimaru Gin?" he asked, looking up at her with a quirked brow.

"Eh?" she looked down at Hitsugaya "What makes you say that?"

He shrugged as he looked off to the distance. "I don't know... just the way you said his name, it sounded like you knew him. Am I wrong?" On the last words, he turned his sharp eyes back to her near-reddening face.

_Damn this kid is smart. Maybe Hisagi was right... I should stay away from him... _

"No, you aren't wrong." she said after a sigh, "Gin and I were very close when we were younger. Back then, I had no one but myself. It felt strange to me, being able to feel hunger. He found me one day, and told me that I had spiritual energy. We had been together ever since. Until... " She trailed off, her eyes lowering to the ground.

"... Until what, Motsumoto?" Hitsugaya asked with a confused brow.

Her eyes turned to his as a sad smile came across her face. "Until he left me to go to the Academy. I had no idea where he was going, or why. He just... left. I soon enrolled as well, only to find him a member of the Gotei already."

"Did he ever tell you? Why he left, I mean." Hitsugaya said after a pause.

"I asked... but he didn't give me a straight answer. He simply said, 'A day will come, when you will understand everything.' and walked away." She held a distantly sad look on her face before brightly smiling at Hitsugaya "Come on, Shorty, we've still got a few division's left!"

Hitsugaya shook his head and started to follow her when a group of shinigami talking and laughing walked out of the Fifth Division's doors. He hadn't really seen many shinigami since he had entered Seiretei, so maybe this was a chance to get a look at his teammates, as well as his competition.

"Ano, Motsumoto?" he asked her as she turned around. He pointed to the group walking towards them. "Who are they?"

"Hm?" she murmured as she followed his pointed finger to the crowd, "Those are the seats from the Fifth Division. They must have been in a meeting or something... Oh! Thats right! One of the seats is becoming the new Lieutenant for that division, and I think the ceremony for that is coming up; they were probably getting her ready for that."

Nodding, Hitsugaya stood beside Motsumoto as the assembly walked past them.

"Ohayo, Rangiku-San!" A voice shot from the center of the crowd.

"Ohayo! Good luck!" Motsumoto shouted back with a wave before turning to Hitsugaya. "That's the new Lieutenant. You cant see her very well... but she's in the very center of everyone. Its kinda a big deal, you know?"

Hitsugaya's eyes were wide and staring at the dead center of the crowd.

"Shorty? What is it?"

Just as she asked, the future Lieutenant squeezed herself out of the group and ran up to Motsumoto, waving.

"Hey, Hinamori!" Motsumoto shouted out "I want you to meet... " she stopped when she saw the way they were looking at each other. The smile erased from Hinamori's lips, leaving a shocked expression. Hitsugaya, on the other hand, actually showed some sort of emotion- what it was- Motsumoto had no idea.

"...Shiro...Chan? What... what are you doing here?" she asked Hitsugaya.

"Baka. I'm a shinigami, obviously."

"Well I know that!"

"Then why the hell did you ask?"

"I don't know! I guess I didn't expect to see you so soon! I mean, you were a good three years behind me- you graduated so fast!"

"I guess. I actually graduated a little over a year ago, but I went back and saw Grams before I came here."

"Oh. How is she?"

"Fine. Not like you would know."

"I've been busy."

"I can tell."

"What are you talking about, Shiro-Chan?"

"Will you stop calling me that, Bed Wetter Momo?"

"Mou, Shiro-Chan, you're so mean."

"No, you're just pathetic."

"Am not!"

"You are too, and you know it. I'm shocked that you are going to become a Lieutenant."

"Shut up, Shiro-Chan!"

"As soon as you stop calling me that."

"Never! Shiro-Chan! Shiro-Chan! Shiro-Chan! Shiro-Chan! Shiro-Chan! Shir-" Hitsugaya's hand had covered her mouth to shut her up.

"One day," he said with a smirk, "You will have to address me as 'Hitsugaya-_Taicho_.'"

Hinamori laughed in his hand before she pushed it away. "Yeah, right, Shiro-Chan! Like that'll ever happen!"

"You're the one that thought I would never be here. And look where I am."

She smiled down at him and ruffled her hand in his hair. "And I'm happy you are."

"Baka."

"Shiro-Chan, I have to go now... but will you come to my ceremony? Its in a few weeks or so and It wouldn't be the same without you there."

He arched a brow at her. "I really don't see what the big deal is."

Hinamori kicked him in the shin. He remained unfazed.

"See?" he said to her with a smirk, "You aren't strong enough to be a Lieutenant."

She glared at him and turned to Motsumoto with a bright smile. "Bye, Rangiku-San! I hope to see you soon!"

She ran over to her friends who were staring at the short white-haired kid and the busty redhead as if they were bugs that needed to be squashed. Immediately.

"Motsumoto?" Hitsugaya asked her, not taking his eyes off of Hinamori. "How do you become a captain?"

She laughed. "So was she your girlfriend from back home? What did I say? I told you would like her! Oh! And now you want to impress _la femme_!"

"Hardly. Lets go." he said as he walked away.

"Hai... Shiro-Chan." she said as she burst out laughing. It was another "S" name to add to the list, after all.

-

_It was so long ago... and yet, I can still see the way his eyes softened at the sight of her. _

It was true. Each of them took on a whole new light just in the presence of the other. Hitsugaya's eyes seemed to soften to a deep jade, away from the usual sharpness and coldness. Hinamori's, on the other hand, ignited to a burning violet color that took on a whole new brightness of their own. It was almost as though they held a part of each other, deep down inside.

Those two... completed each other. Protected each other, in two entirely different ways. Hitsugaya was the physical protector. He would fight to the death just to insure Hinamori's safety. Whenever someone picked on her, he was there telling them off. Whenever she got pushed around by another shinigami, he was there threatening to draw Hyōrinmaru on them. Whenever fighting hollows got difficult, he was there to lend her a hand. And, whenever her nightmares returned, he was there, holding her through the night.

Hinamori, on the other hand, watched over Hitsugaya emotionally. Never once had she feared his bursts of anger and cringed away like the shinigami around her. But she would calmly walk towards him and hold him tightly in her arms until his flaring riatsu died down. She had been the only one to reach inside of his heart, and tell him that it was alright to talk to her, to open up to someone, to not be afraid. Hinamori was the one Hitsugaya let his guard down with, so she could see him like no one else; without his constant glare and slicing eyes. Never wanting to appear weak, he kept all feelings locked away deep inside. Without Hinamori to gently soothe the disturbances away... what will happen now? Especially since she is the cause of the problems.

_How does it feel... to be forgotten? Not just for a brief moment... but forever. Like you never existed in that person's life. _

Motsumoto shifted her eyes to her captain, still curled up tightly and sending streams of ice swirling along the crystallized grass.

He had already been through so much. First, there was Aizen's death that tore Hinamori apart inside. He managed to stop her and Kira's fighting, as well as saving her from Ichimaru. Then, there was the letter that forced Hinamori to draw her sword on Hitsugaya and try to kill him. And finally, he found her dying on the ground, betrayed by her own captain and bleeding. Broken beyond repair. And when she finally woke up from her everlasting sleep- she looked into his eyes full of relief and devotion... and honestly told him that she never knew he existed.

He finally broke.

Motsumoto sighed as she averted her eyes to the arctic forest. Sadly, that wasn't even the worst of it.

The one thing that tore her apart inside was that he blamed _himself_ for everything that happened to Hinamori. Claiming that he wasn't able to protect her when she needed him the most.

Truthfully, he had protected her. Initially warning her about the Third Division, preventing the fight between her and Kira to get any more serious than it already was, as well as keeping Ichimaru from harming her. When he found her cold and lifeless, he fought to avenge her; even though he was up against an opponent he knew was much too strong to defeat. He had done all that he could and at the very least, he had saved her life.

"Motsumoto." the weak voice next to her reached out after hours of silence.

She turned to her captain to find his eyes red and puffy, with a weak cover of his usual icy scowl over them, attempting to hide the pain.

"Hai, Taicho?"

"I'm ready to go back now."

The words shocked her. When she first set out to find him she figured she would have to drag him back with him swearing madly at her the whole way. Or, at least, that seemed like something her captain would do.

Meekly nodding at him, the pair stood up from the tree they were leaning against. As soon as Hitsugaya was relying on his feet, they gave out beneath him and Motsumoto managed to catch him and lean him against the tree before he fell to the ground. He obviously hadn't slept or eaten in days.

"Taicho," she said as she made sure he was steady before she bent over to pick up her scarf that had slipped off in the scuffle, "Are you sure you can walk?"

"I'm fine." he replied sharply.

Sighing, she reached out to pick up her fallen scarf when a small, peach-colored flower caught her eye. It was standing alone in the center of a patch of similar buds. Except, the others had bowed down and frozen over, leaving the petite flower all alone. Motsumoto reached out and gently stroked a silky petal with her finger. It was warm and soft, unafraid of the ice that had taken over its friends. "_Hinamori..." _Motsumoto silently murmured through trembling lips.

"What was that, Motsumoto?" Hitsugaya asked, not even turning to look at her.

"N-Nothing, Taicho." She said, trying to keep her voice steady.

"Good. Now if you're done talking to yourself, pick up your scarf and lets go."

"Hai, Taicho." Quickly, she grabbed her scarf and helped her captain out of the clearing. Taking one last look back at the small flower she couldn't help but wish that Hinamori would always remain unafraid of the icy winter, that she would always remain the warm spring that melted the hardened ice away.

--

--

--

Agh! There you have it. Done, finally. -Sighs- its been a long couple of weeks

Again, I'm terribly sorry for the lateness. -Bows- Thank you for your patience!

Song: Iris - Ronan Keating (Take-off on original by Goo Goo Dolls)

That song always makes me cry, anyway. -sniffles-

www ./watch?vTwbTSMHO6LE&featurerelated

Delete spaces, yo. Another awesome Bleach AMV


	9. Unreachable Smiles

**Remembering Winter**

Chapter 9: Unreachable Smiles

This chapter... took me a long time to think up. Its one of those I'm-not-really-sure-what-to-do

right-now chapters. So... enjoy as much as possible, one would suppose.

I've kinda been a little bit depressed and conflicted as of late, so this chapter will most likely be just that- another depressing one.

Sorry. But it cant be all fluff and bunnies. -Laughs-

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. No really, I don't bleach my laundry. Speaking of laundry... -runs to washer-

_Standing outside her room, he timidly raised his hand to knock on the lattice paper door before drawing it back to his chest and slowly dropping it to his side in defeat. _

_--_

The walk back to Seiretei had been an event Hitsugaya never wanted to live through again. Actually, he wasn't sure he would physically be able to survive another of those. Apparently the word of Hinamori Fuku-Taicho's sudden memory loss of the white-haired captain had spread through all of Soul Society.

Those stares. Those whispers. Did they honestly think he couldn't tell? He suspected he should have stood up on a platform and just announced that yes, he had been forgotten by his best friend who he had most recently shown a great emotional _attachment_ to. And that yes, he had just spent countless days motionless in a forest of ice. Its right outside of the gates, if you want to go witness the extremes that the 'emotionless' captain can be pushed to.

He shook his head, clearing the thoughts from his mind, and continued walking in his usual stance next to his Lieutenant. His only defense was glaring at those that stopped and stared.

"Taicho?" Motsumoto's voice timidly asked at his side.

"Hai?"

"I... I think that we should go visit Unohana-Taicho... she might have some sort of explanation about Hinamori..."

Hitsugaya thought it over for a moment, wanting an explanation more than anyone, but the thought of being near her...

Shaking his head, he told Motsumoto to go back to her quarters, as he headed for his own.

--

Solitary.

It felt good to be alone with his aching thoughts, still trying to sort out everything in his mind. He stepped into his bathroom for a bath and slid the door shut behind him. Sighing, he untied his sash and let his haori gently slide off his arms and land on the floor in a black pool. Stepping over to the sink, his hands grasped the edges of the cool porcelain and he lifted his head up to glance at his reflection in the silver mirror above.

_Pathetic._

Thats what it was.

The sharpness and brightness in his emerald eyes was gone and only a dull jaded pool remained. Dark circles clung to the bottoms of his eyes and his usual spiked hair dripped around his face like icicles. Not only his mind, but his whole body was a complete wreck, tearing him apart.

Reaching a hand over to the silver faucets on the bathtub, he turned the hot one all the way on first, followed by a cascade of cool water pouring into the tub. As the water was streaming out, he removed the rest of his uniform and walked up the two steps leading to the dark wood platform around the deep tub. Sliding his acing body into the steaming water, his senses were blurred as the hot water soaked into his icy skin, soothing his tense muscles and frantic thoughts.

The warmth that surrounded him... reminded him of her.

He sat for many precious and soothing moments in blissful calmness until his mind slowly began to wander once more.

Her smile... her laugh... the way her warm eyes could see right into his soul... the way her slender waist felt encircled in his arms... the way her-

_I'm getting ahead of myself... _

Pulling the drain on in the tub, he stepped out of the now lukewarm water and reached for the ice blue towel on the rack next to the sink. Wrapping it around his waist, he moved towards the door leading to his room- in search of fresh clothes.

Moments later, he stepped out into the mid-day sunlight, and turned towards the Fourth Division, in search of Unohana.

--

"Come in, Hitsugaya-Taicho." The friendly and sweet voice of the Fourth Division captain sang through her office door.

Hitsugaya slid open the door and entered the warm office as Unohana rose from her seat behind her desk and held a hand out to a chair in front of it, signaling for him to sit. Obliging, Hitsugaya sat in a deep red chair as Unohana made her way to a table near her desk, and poured them both a cup of tea. "What brings you here today, Hitsugaya-Taicho?" she asked sweetly, placing a steaming cup on the small table next to Hitsugaya, bringing her own cup back to her desk with her. Sipping her tea, she waited for a reply.

"Well, I wanted to know how Hinamori-Fuku-Taicho's condition was." He said with as much dignity as he could.

Unohana sweetly smiled over her tea. "That is very kind of you, Hitsugaya-Taicho. I'm sure this was all somewhat of a shock to you, and you seem to be handling it calmly. But, I must ask- what do you mean by 'her condition'? Are you inferring the recovery of her wound, the coma fatigue, or the... memory loss?" She spoke the last words in a near-whisper, as if she was afraid of making the wound worse.

Hitsugaya stoically sipped his tea before placing it down on the table in an overly-gently manner. Swallowing hard, his hand clenched the arm rest as his eyes fell to the floor.

"... The memory loss?" Unohana offered. He nodded, as all the words had flown away from his body.

Nodding once, she opened a drawer in her desk and pulled out a folder with Hinamori's name on it. While flipping through pages of information on the Lieutenant, she continued, "I personally ran many tests on her, as well as my high-seated officials. The wound in her lower abdomen is completely healed, leaving only a scar and a small trace of Aizen Souske's riatsu behind."

Hitsugaya's already clenched fist tightened even more.

"...Which leads me to the memory loss. She was unaware of why she was in the hospital, or why she had been in a coma. I explained that she had been stabbed- and that it was a fatal wound. However, I didn't not tell her the details of _who_ had harmed her. I felt that she should not hear it from me. And, if she pressed her hand to her wound, she should be able to feel Aizen's leftover riatsu, and that maybe it would be a trigger for her memories to return. But, when she did press her fingers to the scar... she was able to feel the riatsu... but she couldn't recognize it."

Hitsugaya looked up at Unohana with wide eyes. "So... you're saying that... she doesn't know who Aizen is, either?"

Nodding, Unohana found a paper in the file. "After that discovery, I decided to test her memory. She also has no recollection of Ichimaru or Tousen, the betrayal, or really anything else that was connected to Aizen. She, however, does remember Ichigo Kurosaki and the other Ryoka breaking into Seiretei. Other than that... I'm not sure if there are any more events that she has forgotten."

"So..." Hitsugaya began carefully, "What do you think... caused this?"

Unohana's gentle expression turned very serious. "I'm... not sure exactly. Its very possible that its a case of post-traumatic amnesia, which is incredibly common after being injured and laying in a coma for as long as she was. Also, its very typical that the forgotten memories would be ones that were traumatizing to the individual. Proving that the betrayal hit her very hard. Also, you, Hitsugaya-Taicho, were involved deeply in betrayal, and furthermore, were very close to Hinamori Fuku-Taicho. Its my hypothesis, and a very good one- might I add. But somehow- the pieces don't quite seem to fall into place yet."

Biting his lip gently, Hitsugaya looked down at the ground.

"Is there anything... anything we can do to help her remember?"

Unohana smiled sweetly at him. "Of course. Usually, it just takes some time for the victim of amnesia to remember what was forgotten. Many times, there is some sort of trigger that brings back memories. Or, over time, memories will scatter back occasionally. Or... " Unohana looked down at her desk.

"Or... what?"

"Or sometimes... the memories are gone forever."

"I understand. But... if there's anything that I can do... "

Unohana nodded. "What she needs is to be in contact with something forgotten. Obviously, Aizen, Ichimaru, and Tousen are gone- and cant be used as a way to regain memories- but, you are still here, and hopefully willing to help?"

Hitsugaya's eyes flashed to hers. "Anything. I'll do _anything_."

Unohana, taken aback by his sudden bolt of determination, widened her eyes before smiling sweetly. "I would suggest that you spend as much time possible with her. Talking with her- just like you used to. I know that things will be different now, but you must put in as much effort as you can."

_Difficult doesn't even begin to explain it... hell, I cant even think of her face in my mind without breaking down. But... If its the only thing I can do..._

"I'll do all that I can, Unohana-Taicho."

"Arigato, Hitsugaya-Taicho. I know that adjusting will be most difficult for you, so I thank you for your willing to try. Hinamori Fuku-Taicho is temporarily relieved from her duties as a Lieutenant, so I think it would be best she stay in your quarters with you, Hitsugaya-Taicho. You have a spare room, do you not?" She asked, in response to Hitsugaya's wide and shocked eyes.

"Well... well, yes... I do. But I-"

"It's what's best for Hinamori." she cut him off, and silenced further protests.

After a moment of silence from Hitsugaya, he nodded. "Understood."

"Good." Unohana continued with a smile. "Now, Hinamori is in her hospital room, and will be released in two days. I suggest that you go and speak with her now- if you aren't too tired."

His heart fell inside him as his breathing picked up.

_How am I supposed to talk to her when I can barely even look at her? _

"It's now or never."

--

Standing outside her room, he timidly raised his hand to knock on the lattice paper door before drawing it back to his chest and slowly dropping it to his side in defeat.

_I can't do it... _

His breathing accelerated at a dizzying rate.

_I can't do it..._

His fingers trembled.

_I can't do it..._

His stomach tied in knots.

_I can't do it..._

His mouth ran dry.

_I can't do it..._

His hands grew clammy.

_I can't do it..._

His heart threatened to beat out of control and break on the floor in a million pieces.

_... I'm not strong enough..._

"_**Hitsugaya. You really are a moron, aren't you?" **_

"_Shut up, Hyorinmaru. This has nothing to do with you." _

"_**You sure about that one, Kozo? Aren't you forgetting that I **_**am****_ you? That I feel everything you feel?" _**

"_I don't need this from you right now, you bastard." _

"_**Maybe not. But does that ever stop me from saying anything?"**_

"_No. and that, in itself, makes me wish I never became a shinigami."_

"_**But then you wouldn't have Hinamori."**_

"_You dumb ass. Where have you been? I don't have Hinamori. She... doesn't know who I am anymore. " _

"_**So?"**_

"_'So' what?!" _

"_**So go and change that. The door is right in front of you. Your arms are still attached. And last time I checked, if Hinamori was on the other side, and she needed you like she does now, not having arms wouldn't stop you from getting to her."**_

"_... She doesn't need me." _

"_**You know that how?" **_

"_How can she need help from someone that doesn't exist, moron?!" _

"_**She forgot you, Baka-"**_

"_-Thanks for rubbing that in. Now if you will do us all a favor and _shut up_ then I could-" _

"_**-Could what? Run away from what you're afraid of. The Hitsugaya I know can go into a battle calm and collected, not even breaking a sweat."**_

"_This isn't a battle, you stupid dragon."_

"_**Exactly. Then its not a big deal at all, right?"**_

"_... I'm going to melt you." _

"_**I think you're missing something here, Kozo. Yeah, Hinamori forgot you. 'poor me'. But, what about her? She lost someone important in her life. She lost her best friend. She lost her comforter and protector. She lost **_**you****_, Hitsugaya. Do you really think that wont affect her? That she wont have an empty place in her heart that you resided in? She needs you more than you know." _**

"_... It's not me she needs." _

"_**Then tell me- who does she need? Aizen? That bastard used her up and threw her out like she was nobody."**_

"_I know, okay? I know! But there's nothing I can or ever could do about that!"_

"_**No. You're wrong. You were the one who proved to her that she isn't just the nobody that Aizen made her as. But, that she is **_**someone****. _And don't you think for a second that that doesn't mean anything to her..."_**

Hyorinmaru's voice faded away as the dragon went back to the seclusion of it's inner world. Hitsugaya looked at the door in front of him. It was so close... yet so far away, just like her. Sighing a shaky breath, Hitsugaya closed his eyes and ran a hand through his white hair. Why was this so difficult? Why was he so afraid?

And why was he unable to remove her beautiful smiling face from his thoughts?

He ached to go back to how it was before... back when their hearts seemed so close... and he had felt so alive.

As soon as she disappeared... he was empty inside and his heart ached like it had never ached before.

Did he deserve to be the one she was smiling at anymore?

He had failed to protect her... he had failed to protect the most important thing to him, more valuable than his own life. His fist clenched at his side, his nails digging into the flesh of his palm.

He recalled his conversation with Unohana. How easy it had seemed at the time. And now, here he was- planted in front of her door, holding his breath for fear that she would notice the presence of some unknown person on the other side.

_I deserve this. I couldn't protect her... I don't deserve to be known by her anymore. Its all... my fault. _

Swallowing hard, his heart clenched in his chest, burning painfully in guilt as his fingernails dug deeper into his flesh, drawing blood that trickled out between his fingers and dripped on the wood floor.

_I'm sick of this! I wish all these thoughts would go away... and leave me alone... just... just let me forget, too. Let me forget anything that has ever mattered to me... _

"Ano..." a voice broke the silence in the hall behind him. Abruptly jerking his head to the side, he saw the orange-haired shinigami substitute standing behind him, clearly on his way to Unohana's office.

"What are you doing here, Kurosaki?" Hitsugaya muttered coldly as he turned his face back to the door in front of him. The last thing he needed was another therapy session from some moron who didn't know the details.

"Oh! I was going to see Unohana. Uhm... about a million ferociously angry petals just came swarming after me... and for some reason, this place seems the safest. Unohana is pretty scary in a sweet way. I think she can fend off the pink fluff for me." the orange-head pointed behind him with his thumb.

"Thats not what I meant. What are you doing _here_?" Hitsugaya emphasized his point by pointing to the floor with his index finger, his back still turned to Ichigo.

"Well... I was passing by and all... and I heard from Rukia what had happened. I wanted to say that I'm sorry. I know it doesn't mean much, but I do know what its like... to have the one you love taken from you without an option."

"No, Kurosaki, you don't."

Ichigo nodded and walked towards the short captain until he was a few feet to the side of him, facing him. Leaning against the wall beside Hinamori's door, he shoved his hands in his pockets and regarded the conflicted Hitsugaya in front of him. He inhaled, opening his mouth to say something, only to stop and shut it. Hitsugaya looked up at him from the corner of his eye.

"What do you want?"

"Nothing." Ichigo pulled his hands from his pockets to hold them out in front of him defensively "You just looked like you could use someone to talk to, I guess."

"Well I don't. So leave."

Ichigo didn't move an inch. Silence-filled moments passed as Hitsugaya's head faced forward, but his eyes were glaring to the side at the substitute shinigami who was casually leaning against the wall, staring at the other side of the hall with a distant and seemingly sad expression. He bit the inside of his lip, and turned his eyes to Hitsugaya.

"You're spending quite a long time thinking about this, kid."

"It's Hitsugaya-Taicho." Hitsugaya replied sharply.

Ichigo snorted, beginning to wear on Hitsugaya's already-thin patience.

"Look, Toshiro, " Ichigo started, not pausing for a complaint from Hitsugaya about the use of his name. "I know... that we were in different situations, and all... but I remember what it felt like; being forgotten, left behind, unwanted." Ichigo paused as he swallowed a lump that had formed in his throat.

"When Rukia was taken from me, after I had done all that I could do to keep her safe, she told me... she told me that if I followed her... she would never forgive me. And that I had no right to think that I could. The last thing she said to me was that I would soon die and then it would all be over." He turned his eyes away from Hitsugaya's and back to the wall across from him with a pained expression. "And then... she was gone."

"Then.. why the hell did you go after her?" Hitsugaya asked quietly, shocking Ichigo who thought he wasn't listening.

Ichigo laughed and scratched the back of his head before trailing his hand down to the base of his neck. "Well, I was lying there on the ground- in the rain- bleeding to death, and feeling quite sorry for myself when Urahara-San showed up. I woke up at his house, completely healed, and was listening to a lecture about the customs of Soul Society executions. He asked me if I would give up anything and everything to save her." He smiled a lazy grin as he turned his face back to Hitsugaya. "There was no question about it. The next thing I knew, my chain of fate was broken, I was beaten up by a 9 nine-year-old girl, and I almost turned into a hollow. Of course, it was nothing compared to what I had to go through once we broke into soul society. You guys are pretty tough to beat!"

"... That's kinda the point."

"Well, anyway- after fighting numerous battles, one of them- against my own zanpakutō, I made it to the execution grounds right in the nick of time. Tossed Rukia to Renji and told the bastard to run his ass off. I defeated Byakuya... and I thought it was all over. I look up, and there's Rukia being pulled away by that bastard... uhm... A... Aei..." he stuttered, looking for the name.

"...Aizen." Hitsugaya threw him a rope.

"Yeah! Him! Well, he was wickedly strong- so there went that. Honestly, who can slice open a chest with a finger? A _finger_? So I'm laying there bleeding and Rukia's being dragged away from me once more... and he stabs his hand into her heart right in front of me... I had never felt so defenseless..." he trailed off.

"Did you have a point in there, Kurosaki?" Hitsugaya regarded Ichigo with sharp eyes.

"Well maybe if you were listening you would have caught it!"

"I was listening, you dumb ass!"

The two, now glaring at each other with flaming eyes, remembered that they were in a _hospital_ and it would be a good idea not to tear the place apart.

"The point is," Ichigo started, "that even though Rukia _said_ she never wanted anything to do with me, I knew that she was lying."

"And thats a point... how?" Hitsugaya muttered, becoming more frustrated by the second.

"Just because Hinamori forgot your face for the moment, it doesn't mean that she doesn't want you. And thats she doesn't need you in her life."

"Thanks for your opinion, Kurosaki. Now if you will-"

"If she really didn't want you, she would have died. She would have left you completely. Forever. Done deal. But, she didn't. That in itself shows that she still had something to live for when she was close to dying. It's you. And all you have to do is walk through a door."

Hitsugaya took a lighter tone with the orange-haired shinigami. "You make it sound so simple."

"I know." Ichigo said, grinning. "But at least you didn't have every shinigami in Soul Society against you!"

Hitsugaya turned his head to Ichigo, who was looking at him with a lazy grin on his face. _How can that bastard actually make sense? I always figured he was a complete moron. _

Ichigo's lazy grin suddenly fell into a look of despair as he looked down the hall a distance. "Oh shit." he deadpanned as an army of pink petals rounded the corner.

Looking back at the petals, and then to the terrified Ichigo in front of him Hitsugaya asked, "What did you do to him, Kurosaki?"

Ichigo pushed himself off the wall and began to run towards Unohana's office. Glancing behind him at Hitsugaya, he smiled brightly. "I asked for permission to marry Rukia!" With that, he darted down the hall, leaving a trail of "Dammits!" behind.

Hitsugaya shook his head as he heard the stoic tone of Byakuya commanding "Bankai. Senbonzakura Kageyoshi." And the frantic footsteps of Rukia following behind, begging her Nii-Sama to stop hurting the moron, that he didn't know any better- and that she told him that writing it on a cake wouldn't make it any better.

Moments of silence followed. Half-grinning at Ichigo's terrified screams echoing in his head, Hitsugaya sighed. It really was just a door. A simple door. He had made it seem... unreachable. Maybe the girl inside was, but he had to take the first step to find out.

Reaching his still-trembling hand out before someone else stopped by to give him a therapy session, he knocked twice on the lattice door frame and quickly tucked his hand back in, nearly regretting what he had just done.

His heart picked up as he heard footsteps walking towards him on the other side.

Once those footsteps stopped, and he heard a hand grab the door handle, his breathing ceased all together.

Slowly, the door slid open, drowning the hall in light. A figure stood in the doorway, and as Hitsugaya's eyes adjusted to the bright sunlight he stared at the person before him.

"... Kira?" Hitsugaya arched a brow angrily.

The blond Lieutenant stood in the doorway, his mouth had long since fallen open at the sight of the icy captain and his blue eyes bulged.

"H-Hitsugaya Taicho!" he stuttered out. Mainly in fear. After all, the last time he had spoken to him, he had been completely drunk- and was still not exactly sure what he said to him.

"Kira. Is Hinamori...?" he trailed off, hiding his wavering voice.

Kira looked at him, seemingly astonished. "Uh... yes. Can I take a message for you, sir?"

_Sir? Thats a first. _

"No. I would like to see her, Kira Fuku-Taicho." he spoke coldly and professionally.

"Who would like to see me?" came a lightly delicate voice from the sunlight room that caused Hitsugaya's heart to clench.

"No one. You aren't allowed visitors, remember Hinamori?" Kira called back at her, turning his head sideways from Hitsugaya- but still keeping his blueberry eyes focused intently (and fearfully) on him.

_Is he really going that far to keep me away from her? He really must have been delighted to hear that she has no recollection of me at all... _

"Kira Fuku-Taicho." Hitsugaya spoke coldly, drawing the blonde's attention immediately. Hitsugaya shut his eyes in pure annoyance, keeping himself in check before continuing. "Might I remind you that I am a Captain, and that I have complete authority over you? Just because you no longer have a leader for Squad Three does not automatically mean that you are the new Captain. Furthermore, since you _are_ in charge of your squad for the time being, I suggest that you go back immediately and preform the duties you should be doing, other than holding a hospital patient hostage. Am I perfectly clear?" On the last sentence, Hitsugaya flashed his eyes open in anger- revealing icily glowing irises.

Kira's purely terrified expression enlightened him. Greatly.

"H-Hai.. Hitsugaya-Taicho. Gomei, please forgive me." He finished with a quick bow before nearly running out of the Fourth Division in fear that he would end up as a patient there himself, with severe frostbite.

The door frame, now empty, stood before open before Hitsugaya, beckoning him to walk into the warm sunlight, leaving the coldness behind. Asking him to trust. Begging him to believe. Taking a deep and shaky breath, he stepped into the sunlight, feeling at once the rays wrap around him in a warming embrace.

"Hinamori?" he asked quietly, walking towards the bed that she had lied in for months. She wasn't in it. He stared at it for a moment, slightly confused, when her sweet voice reached out to him. "Over here."

He turned, and there she stood. Her slim figure was wrapped in a white sleeping robe that reached past her bare knees. Long strands of auburn hung down her back, illuminated by the golden sunlight. She was leaning against an open window, her hand reaching out into the light day and a light breeze stroking her hair.

She looked like an angel.

Gently, she brought her hand inside the room, displaying a beautiful butterfly kissing her fingertips with it's blue and white china wings. Bare feet padded the wood floor as she walked towards him. Standing a few feet in front of Hitsugaya, she looked into his icy eyes with her warm cinnamon ones and smiled sweetly, placing the delicate butterfly on his shoulder who happily opened and closed his wings a few times.

"Hello." she murmured softly.

Hitsugaya only blinked.

_Is something... wrong with her?_ Sure, it was something Hinamori would do any day. But to someone she didn't know? Well, she would do that, too. He glanced at the butterfly perched on his shoulder before looking back at her grinning face.

"He looks like you!" she smiled beautifully. That smile... that smile he had missed so much... was there, smiling at him just as it always had been. Although, her face was thinner, as was the rest of her body- a symptom of the coma she was in- but that didn't hamper the radiating grin plastered on her face; that sweet smile that could make his day. Hell, it could make his life. "He likes you! Look!" she laughed sweetly and pointed as the butterfly flew from Hitsugaya's shoulder to his ear.

"Hina...mori?" he looked at her, slightly dazed.

"Hmm?" she answered, her smile falling, wanting to listen to what he had to say.

"Are you... alright?"

She looked at him blankly for a moment before looking down at her toes. "Well I- I wanted to see you, actually. I was happy when I heard your voice at the door..." she started, already causing Hitsugaya's heart to lighten. "I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for... for what happened a few days ago. From what I've been told, you were my best friend... and then I wake up and I don't even know who you are. So, I'm sorry."

"there's nothing to be sorry for. You couldn't have helped it." he spoke clearly, causing her to look up at him with a sad smile.

"... Arigato," she smiled "... Um... I'm sorry... I can't remember your name..." she bit her lip in confusion.

"Hitsugaya." he said a bit more coldly than he had meant it. "Hitsugaya Toshiro."

She nodded as she said the words to herself in her head, feeling as though she should automatically connect the name with someone... with some emotion... but nothing came to her. Shaking her head slightly to clear the thoughts away, she smiled back up at him. "Hitsugaya," she repeated, aloud this time, "I hope that we can become friends again."

"Yeah." he murmured, somehow not feeling the urge to smile at her beautiful kindness. "Me too."

A small silence filled the room between the two. Hinamori, frantically trying to connect his name and face... it was so familiar. Like it was on the tip of her tongue. And Hitsugaya, trying to place all his emotions back together once more. It was strange, how she was so friendly to him. And how, for a fleeting moment, he had let himself believe in the possibility that her memory had returned, only to have the blissful fantasy shattered.

"Well," she said, turning to leave the room, "I'll let you get back to resting. Once Unohana thinks that you are well enough recovered to leave, you will be staying in the spare room in my division. Is that alright?"

Her head perked up in the direction of his voice, only to see the back of his snowy head at the door. "Oh, yes... of course."

"You will be relieved of your Lieutenant position from now until it is fit for you to reclaim it. Is that also clear?"

She nodded, soon realizing that his back was to her, and wouldn't be able to see the not she squeaked out a small "Hai" in his direction.

"Good. I will see you in a few days, Hinamori Fuku-Taicho." he finished as he slid the door shut behind him, leaving Hinamori somewhat dumbfounded at the coldness he just threw at her.

On the other side of the door, Hitsugaya leaned his head against the very wall that Ichigo had been reclining on. His eyes were shut tightly as if in indescribable pain. He never expected her to be so... so exactly the same to the girl she was before. Her beautiful smile still crept its way into the bottom of his heart, melting him inside. Making him... whole again. _No... no that won't ever happen. Not again._ He had to keep his distance. Or else, he might fall for the same girl...

...a second time.

--

Yay! Finished!

... Finally. Jeez.

I know that this wasn't exactly the most enthusing chapter ever, but I like writing about Hitsugaya's inner battle so to speak. I also had fun relating it to Ichigo's grand adventure as well ad having Hyorinmaru butt in a little.

That pesky dragon. Haha!

Reviews are always adored! And generally sobbed over! -Laughs-

Thanks for reading!


	10. Storm of Realization

**Remembering Winter**

Chapter 10: Storm Of Realization

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**I AM SO SORRY FOR THE EXTREEME LATENESS OF THIS CHAPTER!**

-Hides- don't kill me, please! I made it extra extra extra-long for you, though!

I'm sorry! VERY sorry! I wont bore you with all these pathetic excuses I have, but I'm sorry! The chapter is here now! And I promise that during the summer, there will be a much faster speed with the updates, okay? I promise!

(Would it hurt if I said that I really had no idea how to write this chapter? Because I had no idea where to start... )

Anyway- this chapter is, too, depressing. That just seems to be the mood I've been in lately, too. So... here you go.

_Disclaimer:_ I don't own Bleach. I do, however, own quite a lot of Bleach merchandise. I'm bidding on plushies on Ebay as we speak, actually...

--

Droplets of water echoed on the roofs outside, sending Seiretei into hibernation. Plants graciously drank in the refreshing mist and in turn, flaunted their green leaves wildly in the calming downpour. Windows speckled with crystals glittering from the lights glowing inside. Hinamori sat on a cushion, looking out the window at the falling rain. A cup of tea sat beside her, and a patterned silk blanket draped over her lap, keeping her warm. Pressing her hand against the cool glass of the window, she drew it back and watched the misty outline of her hand slowly fade away as the cold air outside claimed the pane of glass once more. Sighing, she turned her head sideways to the white-haired captain seated at his desk, scribbling his signature on form after form of hollow records. His emerald eyes focused intently on the sheets of paper seemed weary to Hinamori, who hadn't done a sheet of paperwork for a long time, and had offered to help him- but was told that she needed her rest.

_I've been out of the hospital for almost three months now... I think I can handle just a little bit of paperwork. After all, Isn't he taking over for my division while I'm still recovering? Not to mention his own paperwork? _

Briefly, she glanced around the room. Matsumoto was nowhere in sight. Spending her day off drinking with Hisagi, Kira, and Renji, no doubt. Not to say that when she wasn't drinking she was any help. She just had an excuse this time, instead of bolting for the door the moment "paperwork" came out of her captain's mouth.

"Ano..." she spoke softly, simply to grab his attention. She still wasn't quite sure what to address him as. 'Hitsugaya-Taicho' just didn't feel right... but she was scolded for calling him 'Hitsugaya'... so she tried to refrain from actually using a name at all when talking to him.

Hitsugaya looked up from his paper and across the room to where she was moving to get up. "What is it? What's wrong?" He said in a harsh voice with a hint of un-noticeable panic.

"Well," she started, walking across the floor with her blanket draped around her shoulders and trailing on the ground behind her until she stood in front of his desk, "I was wondering if I could help you with your paperwork. You have been working for hours... and you still have quite a bit left. It would go by much faster if we did it together." she offered him a sweet smile.

"No." he said sharply as he turned back to his pile of paperwork, signing a sheet and placing it gently in a pile before sliding a fresh one off of the pile that had yet to be read through.

"But, I've been out of the hospital for quite some time. I think that I can handle getting back in the swing of things a little..."

"No." He spoke sharply, not even bothering to look up at her. "Unohana-Taicho said that for your best interest, you should not bother yourself with work."

"But its not a bother at all! I would gladly help you!" She spoke louder, getting frustrated at his stubbornness. He was _always_ acting like this. It seemed like he never once listened to anything she had to say, and on the rare occasion that it seemed like he heard her, he would shoot down all of her opinions. She began to wonder how someone so stubborn and difficult could possibly have been her best friend...

Sighing a frustrated breath, she turned sharply around to face the windows again, attempting to keep her raging anger under control. She knew that she really wouldn't have minded if he was worrying about her wellbeing, but after _three months_? She was defiantly well enough to handle signing her signature at the bottom of reports. And with all honesty, it didn't seem like he cared about her at all. He barely even _looked_ at her for God's sake. They had never really held an actual conversation for as long as she had been staying with him, and it always seemed that he would make up some excuse to get out of the office and away from her.

Not that she cared.

Of course she didn't.

That would be... be... completely irrational.

_Oh hell, who am I kidding? _She groaned. Yes, she hated his existence. She hated those icy eyes, that white hair, those hands that never stopped working... she hated them all. But she _truly _hated those icy eyes because they never locked with her ruby ones. She _truly_ hated that pure white hair because the snowy spikes tempted her to run her fingers madly through them. And, she_ truly _hated those hands because they spent all their time working when she wanted them to run wild all over her skin...

_What is wrong with me? I hate him. I hate everything about him more than anyone else for locking me in this prison. So why? Why do I have these completely irrational emotions that never go away?_

She stood there, her back to him, fuming. Tearing her mind apart for an answer that she knew was there, but was unable to detect.

"Hinamori?" A cold voice called from behind her.

Turning her head sideways, she glanced over her shoulder at the captain seated at his desk, who was now looking at her. "Yes?" she murmured.

Sighing, he rolled his eyes slightly. "Can you move to somewhere other than in front of my desk, please? You are blocking the light, and it's making finishing my work difficult."

Slowly, Hinamori turned her head away from him. Heat began to radiate from her body, as she gently let the silk blanket slide off of her arms and she too-calmly folded it in her hands, smoothing out all the creases. Forcing herself not to snap.

--

Hitsugaya sat at the desk, looking coldly at her back, waiting for her to move aside. He had sheets upon sheets that were due tomorrow, and he didn't have time for this. It was bad enough that she had to stay with him through her recovery, but also that she would not leave him alone. Ever. Normally, he wouldn't have minded her frequent company, or her helping hand with paperwork. But... it was just too painful to look into her eyes and see how much she had changed. It used to be that when her deep eyes looked into his, it seemed as though she could look into the very depths of his soul. Now, when those very same eyes connected with his own, there was nothing. Just... a void that could never be filled.

"Hinamori Fuku-Taicho." he spoke clearly, his eyes still glaring into her back. "Please do as you are asked."

Her back twitched as her shoulders straightened in fury. Glancing over her shoulder, she avoided looking at him directly and averted her eyes to the wall beside his desk instead. "Of course, please forgive me, Hitsugaya-_Taicho._" She said clearly and icily as she turned her head forward once more and stepped lightly away from the front of his desk, towards the center of the room.

_'Hitsugaya-Taicho' _Hitsugaya traced her words over and over again in his mind. She actually said his name correctly.

He was surprised when, as she spoke those words, that instead of feeling a sense of great pride in her acknowledgment of his captain status, he actually felt a great stab of pain. He finally realized that when her memories withered away, so did a whole part of him- the part Hinamori had opened up. And now, it was gone. Forever.

And that- infuriated him.

Forcedly, he stood up, sending his chair crashing into the wall behind him. Stopping in her tracks, Hinamori jerked her head in the direction of the crash, and caught sight of a panting Hitsugaya leaning over his desk like a panther about to attack her.

_What right does she have to be angry with me? I wasn't the one who forgot her pure existence, after all. _

Hitsugaya's palms were pressed against the top of his wooden desk, supporting him. As thoughts of her forgetting him ran through his head, ice spread out from his fingertips and cracked along the desk, forming icicles along the edge.

--

At seeing that, Hinamori's own anger flared.

_What right does he have to be angry with me? I didn't purposely forget him- I didn't choose it. And at this rate- I'm happy I did. Why would I even put up with someone this stubborn and cold?_

Her silk blanket was thrown across the room, hit a wall, and slid down until it pooled on the floor. Neither of them noticed. Hitsugaya was leaning over his desk, his emerald eyes glowing turquoise as more ice crackled across the floor. Hinamori stood on the other side of the room, arms crossed. Ruby eyes glowing from the raging fire deep within, sheets of paper on the coffee table next to her curled up and withered in the intense heat radiating from her skin. Her breath became heavy pants as pure anger streamed through her veins.

They stood silently, leaning towards each other at the ready to attack, glaring. Ice cracked over half the room, while heat wavered on the other side, curling papers littered around.

_Who does he think he is? _Hinamori asked herself. _How can he be this way to me- I thought he was my best friend before I lost my memory. Matsumoto even told me that I was in love with him... she was clearly wrong. _

Her fists clenched at her side.

"Who..." she spoke in a voice laced with anger, "... Who do you think you _are?_"

Hitsugaya arched a brow at her. "What do you mean? Have you forgotten that _again_?" he finished harshly sarcastic.

Hinamori let out the breath that she had been holding in an antagonizing scream as she clasped her hands to her face, shaking in anger.

"_How _dare_ you...!" _She quivered out, her voice lethal as she tore her hands away from her face, fingers spread out at her sides as If ready to charge a kido at him any second.

At the sound of her deadly voice, the growing flame inside Hitsugaya raged. His hands seized into tight fists, and pushing himself off the desk, he harshly sent all the items sitting on his desk flying to the floor with one swipe of his arm. A ceramic cup broke into pieces when it met the floor, sending the pens it held inside everywhere. His half-finished tea splashed against a wall and papers slowly danced over the cemetery of broken items until they settled. Hinamori's eyes followed the movement before jerking her shocked eyes back up to the panting Hitsugaya and taking a step back from his terrifying form, now crouched over the cleared desk once again.

He arched a brow threateningly in her direction, as If he thought of her weak.

Tears rimmed Hinamori's burning eyes. "Do you think you are the only one who has ever been hurt?! I lost my _memories. _Memories of things that were once important to me. _Hell, I don't even know who I am anymore!"_ Her shaky voice turned into a shattering yell on the last sentence as her angry tears spilled down her face. "And I thought you above all people might understand me, might help me figure out who I was.. but I can see I was wrong. Everyone was wrong... there's no way that I could have _ever_ been friends with you, let alone _love you."_

She inhaled a shaky breath as more tears spilled down her face before continuing in a near-whisper voice.

"_Loosing my memories of you was the best thing that has ever happened to me._"

Outside, the rain fell harder, and thunder rampaged through the swollen clouds.

Inside, aching silence settled around the office, piercing through the ears of those inside.

--

Hitsugaya's anger faded, leaving a dullness behind. His eyes sank back to their usual calm emerald and his hands loosened the grip on his desk. He just blankly stared at the petite woman across the room, who's eyes had not lifted from the ground.

He said nothing. She said nothing.

Breathing became difficult, and Hitsugaya forced all of his concentration on simply inhaling and exhaling in a calm, steady rate. He couldn't think. He couldn't move. He couldn't speak.

What was this feeling that buried itself deep inside him? It wasn't anger, or sadness, but a dulling numbness that slowly spread through his body, leaving him limp and exposed. It wrapped it's icy fingers around his heart which fought to keep beating steady.

It hurt. Like nothing had ever hurt before.

Even when she turned on him and hated him for false reasons. Even when he found her lying dead, slain by the one she trusted. Even when she looked him in the eyes and could not recall who he was to her...

Nothing hurt like this. Nothing hurt more than being unwanted, unneeded.

Especially by the one person who meant the world to him.

Hinamori nervously licked her lips as she looked up, but avoided his eyes.

"I... I'm-"

"-Don't." Hitsugaya cut her off sharply. She looked to his eyes with tears in her own, her brow furrowed in surprise. "... Don't." he said again. Calmer, in a barely audible whisper.

--

He stood up straight from his leaning position on his desk and walked around the side, heading to his room. Hinamori's looked down and worried her hands as he walked past her, tears threatening to pour down her face.

Pausing as he reached the door separating his office and quarters he didn't bother to look at her as he muttered in his captain-tone, "I will speak with Unohana-Taicho immediately tomorrow morning to discuss your recovery and how soon you might be able to back to your division. If you are still not recovered enough, she will see to another place more suitable for you to stay. Is that alright with you?"

_Why ask me? You'll do what you want with me, anyway. _She couldn't help but think to herself. Instead she bowed her head slightly as she muttered out a small word of agreement.

"Yes. I think that might be best for the both of us."

He nodded once, then walked into his living quarters, slamming the door behind him. Hinamori's eyes half-heartedly followed the sharp movement before clasping shut in pain. Things had gotten a bit out of control.

Sighing, she let herself fall to the couch behind her and draped herself over the soft cushions. _Did I really mean it? That I was happy I had lost my memories of him...? _

That was the only thought that trickled through her head. Did she really hate him that much? Did she really hate him at all?

No, of course she didn't hate him.

He really had supported her, in his own ways. He always kept an eye out for her, and was beside her as much as he could. Never treating her like a child, he gave her freedoms, but also made sure that she was safe and not over-working herself.

All things that she took as trying to keep her as far away from him emotionally as possible, trying to degrade her. Brining a hand up to rub her forehead, she felt tears begin to trail down her face like the raindrops gliding down the window behind her. Why did she feel this way? Like she had control over nothing in her life? It was difficult to explain to anyone, but it felt as though the words she spoke were already out of her mouth when the thought came to speak them. Her actions- the same. She almost felt as though she was someone's pawn, being controlled across the board, in position to take down the queen.

Shaking her head and wiping her tears away from her face she sat upright and glanced around the room. Papers were strewn all over. Partly from complete organization, and partly from Hitsugaya's terrifying burst of anger. Pushing herself off the couch and tiptoe-ing over to the mess on the floor of objects that were once neatly organized on Hitsugaya's desk, she knelt down next to them and gently picked the sheets of paperwork from the pool of tea with still-shaking hands. He had terrified her. She had seldom seen him show any sort of emotion... and the one she received was anger. Pure and lethal, devastating anger that made her feel sick to her stomach. Of course, she had probably deserved it, after what she had said to him.

Once the last paper was rescued from the liquid, she stood up and laid the papers out of his desk to dry overnight. They would be a little wrinkled in the morning, but they would still be in a better condition then the paperwork from Kyōraku-Taicho. Sighing, she glanced at the rest of the mess on the floor and decided to leave that until morning.

Hinamori turned away from the desk and took a few steps towards her quarters when a bright flash of lightning followed by a ground-shaking clap of thunder stopped her in her tracks, petrified.

Releasing the breath she had been holding, she took shaky steps to her room.

_I can't stand thunderstorms... especially at night... I wonder if I'll be able to sleep at all tonight..._

--

Hitsugaya sat down on the edge of his futon in his room and listened to the stormy night rage as thoughts and emotions inside of him were worse than the severe storm outside. Indescribable feelings tore him apart at the seams, emotions he had never felt before. His body fought desperately for every breath, for every heartbeat...

That proved it: Hinamori was killing him.

_Well, not purposely. She couldn't kill me if she tried. She _has_ tried, in fact... _

With a breath of laughter, Hitsugaya kicked off his shoes and leaned back on his futon, sinking into the soft cushions. A flash of lightning lit up the room for a fraction of a second, before dying out and returning the room to it's pitch-black state. He didn't even flinch as a stream of heavy thunder crackled through the clouds.

_Isn't Hinamori absolutely terrified of storms? _He wondered, recalling the many times in their childhood that he awoke to her climbing in to bed with him, shivering in fear. He would always let her under the blankets with him and she would nestle her face in his chest. It never took long for her to fall asleep after that, her heavy breathing warm and steady on his chest. But, he would never sleep after that. He felt as though he had to protect her from whatever frightened her. As though she trusted him as her personal knight in shining armor. He didn't intend to slip from that position.

But, he had. Unintentionally.

Sighing he decided he should just fall asleep and get this night over with. In the morning he would have Hinamori moved out of his quarters and his life could become much less stressful. Not having to stand in her presence every second of every day... It would be quite a relief. He hadn't gotten too attached or too close to her- so it would be easy to move on from this.

Slowly, he sat upright and stripped himself of his captain's haori, layers of shirts, and tabi. Now, in just his hakama, his other clothes thrown in a heap on the floor, he pulled back the blue silk blankets on his futon and burrowed beneath them. The coolness of the sheets felt good against his bare chest and he was instantly lulled into a submissive calmness. Rain pattered against the windows lining his room, and lightning flashed in through the sheer curtains as thunder growled in the heavens. It was all a calming lullaby for him, drawing him closer and closer to the blissful unconsciousness he desired and needed.

He wasn't sure how long he had been asleep until he was awoken by his bedroom door bursting open, followed by a clap of thunder outside, and a small, frightened squeak from the doorway. Abruptly, he shot upright and with a reflex, reached out for his sword before a flash of lightning that illuminated the room stopped him.

In his doorway, was a petite woman, dressed In a sleeping robe of the purest white and the purest silk. Her long hair framed her face in messy but gentle waves that cascaded past her shoulders.

"Hina... mori?" Hitsugaya murmured sleepily into the darkness.

"Um, I'm- I'm sorry, Hitsugaya-Taicho! I don't know what made me... made me barge in here like this, and I'm terribly sorry! I'll go back to my quarters now! I'm sorry!" She spilled out as fast as she could, her hands fidgeting with the hem of her robe and her head bowed. Quickly, she turned around and nearly darted from the room.

"Hinamori Fuku-Taicho. Come here, please." Hitsugaya said to her near-running form.

She froze in the doorway and slowly turned around and walked hesitantly towards him, head still bowed, in fear of her punishment.

Hinamori stopped walking a few feet before the foot of his bed, and Hitsugaya kicked his feet over the side of his bed and looked over at her.

"It's _okay_." he said so softly she was shocked and lifted her head up to make sure that it really was Hitsugaya's room she had barged into. His hand was held out to her, beckoning her to come closer. She glanced at the hand and then at his face. Both were fairly fuzzy in the darkness of the room, and she figured she was hardly visible at all to him. Swallowing hard, she gently and hesitantly took a small step forward, followed by another.

His emerald eyes followed every step, closer to his still-outstretched hand. A foot or so away from his hand, the padding of her feet on the wood floor stopped. She looked at his hand, and then lifted her head to look at his face.

Hitsugaya gave her a half-hearted smile as he concentrated on her tear-stained face.

Slowly, she lifted her shaking hand from her side and clutched it in a loose fist at the center of her chest, looking at his hand as though there was a possibility it might eat her. Gently, her hand pulled away from her chest and in a hesitant motion, and stretched out, inches away from Hitsugaya's. He was about to give up and draw his hand back, making the difficult decision for her, when he felt the satin skin of her hand softly glide into his own. A subtle tremor started from where her warm hand rested on his, and darted up his arm before spreading it's warmth through his whole body.

It was the first time he had touched her since... since... well, it had been an awfully long time. He had forgotten how electrifying her touch was, how it woke up all of his senses and yet, spread a thick calmness through his whole body. Lifting his eyes away from their hands, he looked up to her face just as she did the same, clearly looking as though she felt the exact same soothing quiver that he felt. A few more tears caressed her cheekbones as they made their way down to her jawbone.

"I-I'm sorry, I don't know w-why I came here... like I did..." She whispered in a strained and quivery voice.

Rain pattered against the windows in a tranquil state, keeping the deafening silence's long fingers from tearing the pair's hands apart in the dark room.

"I do." Hitsugaya murmured calmly, "I know why you're here."

Lips parted, prepared to say something but paused, not knowing what to say. Hinamori glanced away, to the window, confusion's wings fluttering through her mind. Hitsugaya watched her battle her mind for an answer that was there, that had always been there and always would be. He hated seeing her like this, tearing her mind apart for the most obvious answers. Gently, he tightened his grip around her hand briefly as if to tell her that it didn't matter, that she should just relax. Instantly, Hinamori turned her face away from the window and offered him a small smile as she tightened her own hold.

"Arigato." she murmured.

Just then, a blazing flare of lightning filled the room and escaped just in time for a roar of thunder to force it's way in through the walls, causing the whole room to tremble in it's wake. Hinamori let out a shrieking gasp and clutched his hand in both of her own and held it close to the center of her chest, more tears springing from her winced eyes that were covered with strands of auburn hair. Her whole body was slightly bent over, quivering.

Hitsugaya stood up in front of her and lifted her head up with his free hand. Her tear stained face greeted him with shivering lips and melted ruby eyes.

"Come here." he murmured.

The words had barely left his mouth as another flash of lightning filled the room and Hinamori leapt into his arms. Her face pressed against the bare skin of his shoulder as her arms wrapped around his neck. Shocked for a moment, Hitsugaya wasn't sure what to do. As he felt her arms pull him closer, he wrapped his own soothingly around her waist and gently ran his hands up and down her back. Her body shook in his embrace and he felt her warm tears spill out onto his bare skin. Long minutes passed by uncounted, unnumbered. Slowly, her body melted in to his, relaxing. The tears stopped flowing, and the shivering tremors that ran through her form died down.

Sighing weakly, Hinamori slowly pushed away from his comforting embrace.

"I'm sorry... I-" she quietly murmured out before Hitsugaya pressed a finger to her rambling lips.

"I believe I already said everything was okay. Do you intend to make me keep repeating myself?"

"N-no. Of course not."

"Good." he said as he sat down on the edge of his futon once more. Hinamori stood a little ways in front of him, her hands clasped together, and her eyes examining the floor at her feet.

"Hinamori." Hitsugaya called out to her. Her face lifted to his direction to see him patting the cushion next to him, signaling for her to sit next to him. She obliged.

"Are you alright?" he murmured a few moments after she sat down and folded her hands neatly in her lap.

She licked her lips nervously as her hands began to quiver again. "I-I'm fine. I guess I just let my fear take over. It's childish, I know." she finished with an embarrassed laugh.

"No, It's not childish. We all have something that frightens us and pushes us to the extreme." He said out loud, but had his face turned away from her, facing the wall in front of him instead.

"Even Kuchiki-Taicho?" She asked like a curious child. Hitsugaya couldn't hold back a chuckle.

"Yes, even Kuchiki-Taicho. At the moment- I think what keeps him awake at night is the thought of becoming Kurosaki's father-in law."

Hinamori laughed, it was too true.

"What about Yamamoto-Sōtaichō?" She continued.

"Of course."

"What about Zaraki-Taicho?"

"Umm... well that one I'm not so sure of... But he's hardly considered human anyway."

"What about you, Hitsugaya-Taicho?" The childish tone had left her voice.

Pausing, Hitsugaya couldn't think of a way to answer. Was this a trick question?

"What makes you think that I don't have anything to be afraid of, Hinamori Fuku-Taicho?" He asked her with a smirk.

"Well... I don't know. I guess you just seem like nothing can faze you." She said quietly.

Hitsugaya regarded her for a moment before turning his head back to the wall, staring straight ahead. _Nothing can faze me, huh?_

"Nothing?" He questioned her out of the corner of his eye.

"... Nothing." She replied softly.

_So thats how she sees me then. As some emotionless... _thing._ I guess I can't blame her. _

Hitsugaya was ripped from his thoughts as another crash of thunder caused Hinamori to give out a small cry next to him. Her rands automatically reached out and grabbed a strong hold on his arm as a stray tear strode down her face.

"...It's okay, I'm here." he murmured as she turned her face to his. Gently, he wiped the shimmering tear from her face and gave her a small half-smile in return.

Her ruby eyes grew big and watery at his touch and he was afraid he had stepped over a boundary and had frightened her. Instead of pushing him away, however, she smiled sweetly at him and pressed her cheek into the coolness of his hand.

After a moment or two, Hitsugaya drew his hand back from her face and let it drop lifelessly in his lap, still wanting more of the warmth only her skin could give. Her eyes followed the movement and concentrated on his hand, silently debating what to say.

After a few moments of slightly opening and closing her mouth, followed by a bit of lip-chewing she took a deep breath and kept her focus on his hand, avoiding his shimmering eyes.

"Ne, Hitsugaya-Taicho..." She started, her lips trembling. "I-Is it alright if I... if I stay here, with you, for the night. I... I don't think I'll be able to sleep at all if I'm alone..."

Hitsugaya could feel her face burning up from where he sat, and he had to force down a bubble of laughter that had formed in his chest. Never once, out of all the times she had felt the need to crawl under his covers and snuggle up to him, had she _ever _asked permission. Of course, this time the circumstances were a bit different... but still, it just seemed unnecessary. Not to mention awkward.

"Hinamori Fuku-Tacho. Look at me." He said with a hint of sharpness that caused her to tremble next to him as she slowly lifted her bright red face to his. "If you ever, and I mean _ever, _ask me that again..." He paused and regarded her figure, slouched over in embarrassment and ashame, and lowered his tone in to a desire-filled whisper as he lifted her chin up with his index finger, "...I'll have to wonder if you truly know me at all."

She seemed taken aback at his answer, her wide eyes told him she was still unsure of what he was telling her.

"Hinamori," he continued in a soft voice laced with compassion and care, "If you need me, I will be there. Wherever. Whenever... I promise."

Still-wide eyes melted into ruby pools as Hinamori fought diamond tears that formed within them. For a moment she struggled with the right words to say, and Hitsugaya let her before placing a hand on her shoulder.

"It's okay." he said with a small smile that she somehow knew was only for her. "Now, you had better get some sleep, ne?"

She gave a slight nod as Hitsugaya scooted to the other side of the futon an lied down, signaling that the opposite side was all hers. Gently, she slid under the covers and stared up at the unfamiliar ceiling. Hitsugaya's back was to her and she tried to keep her eyes closed but the cracks of thunder and lightning that had been blurred out for awhile kept her body un-relaxed and on alert. All she needed was his voice, and only his voice, telling her everything was okay... and that he was here for her. That would be all. But, as she glanced over at his sculpted back, rising and falling in steady breaths, she didn't want to wake him up... again. Rolling over on her stomach, she pressed her face into the satin pillow which helped... but she found it quite difficult to breathe. Giving up, she turned on her side, her back facing his back, eyes wide open to the blank darkness, only wincing when a flash or crash startled the silence. Pressing her eyes shut so hard it hurt, she covered her ears with her hands and curled up into a tight ball, trying to exclude any sound or light from getting to her. Trembling, she felt fresh tears squeeze out of her eyes and drip onto the pillow against her face. Silently, she wished the night would just end...

"Hinamori...?" A gentle voice shattered the darkness. "Hinamori...? Are you alright...?"

Slowly, she opened her weak eyes and let her hands fall from her ears, body relaxing in the voice that ran through her blood.

Reaching out, Hitsugaya turned her face towards him and caught sight of glistening tears dripping sideways down her cheeks. Her body, still trembling ached for comfort.

"Hinamori... why didn't you say anything?" He murmured in a disgusted voice, but his brow was furrowed in worry.

"I...I didn't want to... to w-wake you..." she stuttered out in reply, eyes glancing away from the ones that pierced.

Before she could say another word, she heard a sigh from Hitsugaya and she felt herself being picked up. A warm chest pressed against her cheek and she felt a hand supporting her back, and another beneath her knees.

Hitsugaya held her frail body close for a moment before leaning back against the wall against his futon. Tenderly, he set her down on his lap, her side to his chest and both her legs stretched out nearly to the side of the futon. Wrapping an arm around her back and another resting on her legs he brought her delicate body closer to his own. For a moment, Hinamori's body remained stiff, but did not fight his arms that enclosed her. Though, soon enough her body melted into his. He felt her warm cheek, still damp from passing tears, press against his bare chest and her whole body yield to his. A hand pressed against his chest and the other wrapped itself around his back. A sigh escaped from Hinamori's lips as her eyes slowly shut and her breathing soon grew heavily steady.

All Hitsugaya could do was watch her sleeping form rise and fall with each breath. Auburn hair dripped across her face and was tenderly brushed away by his hand. She trusted him to keep her save, and he didn't want to loose that trust. He wasn't tired, and even If he was, he knew he wouldn't sleep. Never did, never will. Not when Hinamori was in his arms. Actually, not even when she was nearby. The first few nights she was staying with him, he never slept. All he would do was lie there, ears waiting for her to need him. She never did. A while later, he began to sleep. Not much, but he still slept. He was often awakened by dreams of her. Dreams of the past, dreams of the present, and dreams of the future. Most common, being the past. He would constantly re-live the day of Aizen's betrayal in his mind. It was the hardest one to get over, seeing her over and over in a pool of her own crimson blood, lifeless and cold. Each time he woke up from that dream in a cold sweat, he would instantly run to her door- just to make sure she was still there, still alive, still with him. He would stand in her doorway for awhile, fighting the aching need to go and hold her in his arms, to have her comforting eyes shower his tear-streaked face. It killed him a little more inside each time... knowing that he needed her so much, with the feeling far from mutual. At the same time, though, it gave him the strength to not become close, to not intentionally hurt himself over and over. To not bring himself suicide. If she didn't need him, he didn't need her. That's what he told himself every time she tried to sneak her way through his walls. If she did... he knew it would only end in pain- for the both of them. Closeness was no longer an option.

Looking down at her in his arms, tears silently slid down his face and were brushed away before they could drip onto her sleeping form. _What am I going to do? _He asked himself.

With one step into his room, she had broken through every wall he had put up.

With one tear that slid down her face, she had made him look at her, talk to her.

With one touch of her hand, she had made him fall in love with her.

He had never stopped loving her, he knew that. Yet, he denied it with all of his heart. How could he love someone who was happy she had forgotten him?

A large lump formed in his throat that became difficult to breathe around.

"_Loosing my memories of you was the best thing that has ever happened to me._"

Her words replayed themselves in his mind;

"_Loosing my memories of you was the best thing that has ever happened to me._"

Over and over;

"_Loosing my memories of you was the best thing that has ever happened to me._"

Over and over;

"_Loosing my memories of you was the best thing that has ever happened to me._"

Over and over. Each time, they hurt just the same as they had the first time they escaped her lips. They cut, slit, and slashed him until he bled, scarring him forever. His breathing became frantic and shallow, he was loosing himself, his control. The pain... the antagonizing pain spread through his body and he felt an icy atmosphere fill the room. He was ready to escape the room that was closing in around him and run... run anywhere far from where he was... but the weakest of sighs froze all of his emotions in place. There she was. The center of his world, the center of his pain- in his arms. Her warm body pressing against his even more than before seeking warmth from the cold that was swirling around the room now. Instantly, he calmed, his body relaxing.

Tears of hurt and pain still glided from his eyes as he looked down at her peacefully in his arms. It was as though nothing had ever happened between them, as though everything was how it used to be.

But... it wasn't.

Even if she could somehow remember it all... he was still the piece that wouldn't fit. Pain had deformed everything he used to be to her. _Not that it matters anymore. She is, after all, happy she no longer knows who I am. _He inhaled a sharp gasp of pain. Hearing it hurt, but admitting it killed. But, it was just a fact that he had to face. She no longer needed him as he needed her, and that was that. There was nothing he could do about it.

Well, there was one thing he could do. Only one.

Looking down at the girl in his arms, pressed against his chest, he knew what he should do.

_But, can I actually do it?_

Tears silently slipped down his face all night as he held her fragile body close to his, asking himself the question over and over in his head.

The stormy night slipped past quickly in the mind of the sleeping Hinamori who, for the first time in a long time, slept soundly. Hitsugaya held her close all night, protecting her from nightmares and fears. He didn't sleep, he barely even blinked. All night he simply stared at the beauty of the girl in his arms... and how he wished he could see it every single day of his life, wishing he had more time, more nights, to receive a chance to protect her. The thunder and lightning stopped in the middle of the night, and the rain slowed down to a stop once dawn was on the way.

_Dawn... _

Sighing wearily, Hitsugaya let Hinamori slip from his arms so she was no longer on his lap. Her beautiful hair spread over the pillow her head rested on and he faintly brushed a few stray hairs away that had swept across her cheek. Simply standing over her for a moment, his eyes traced her face, free of all interrupting emotion... just a delicate calm. His emerald eyes traced over it all, memorizing her beautiful face... her beautiful self. The sun had just barely started to hurry the black night sky away, leaving the sky in a calming blue, awaiting the sun's arrival into the vast heavens. Soft light trickled in through the windows and danced on Hinamori's silky white skin, setting it aglow as if she were an angel.

She was an angel. His angel.

Fighting the tears that had formed once more, he pressed his hand against her warm face. Subconsciously, she pressed her face into the coolness of his hand, letting a small smile bloom on her pouting lips.

"Oh Hinamori..." he whispered into the darkness, going nowhere with the words, but just wanting to hear her name light the room.

Looking outside once more, the sky had started it's watercolor display before sunrise... It was time.

Soothingly, he took his hand away from her cheek, pulled on his robes, and softly walked out of the room, and into his office. Two hell butterflies entered the room and he gave a message to each of them; one for Unohana-Taicho, the other for Yamamoto-Sōtaichō. He paced the room for what seemed like hundreds of times before the twin butterflies returned, bearing messages for him. Both messages said for him to meet with them. He was to go to Unohana's squad first, and then to see Yamamoto. Letting the butterflies go, he softly walked back into his room where the sleeping Hinamori rested. As gently as he could, he wrapped a blanket around her and lifted her light body into his arms.

The air outside was cool and refreshing. Droplets of water leftover from the downpour traced their way along rooftops until they dripped down to the ground. Blades of grass bore dewdrops and glistened in the awakening sky like tiny emeralds. It was a gorgeous morning, one that Hitsugaya would normally enjoy spending outside in the cool air- still calm and undisturbed. But this morning... was different. The falling drops of water turned into tears- falling randomly and uncontrolled. The glistening emeralds teased him in the glistening light- their freedom far superior to his own. Even the awakening sky was different to him now; its bright colors filling the sky only reminded him that inside... he had everlasting night. Everlasting blackness.

He paused outside the fourth division's doors.

_This is really it... this is me... giving up. Giving up forever. _Looking down at the still-sleeping girl he tightened his hold... because he knew it would be the last time. It would be the last time he got to gaze upon her face, the last time he would be with her.

He was still left with so much more to say when the doors before him opened. A sympathetic smile from Unohana welcomed him as she stood aside for him to walk inside. It was all a blur to Hitsugaya... all he could think of was Hinamori... and what was best for her, not what was best for him. Somehow, his legs had carried him down the hall and into a room next to Unohana's office.

_Hinamori... I wish I had more time... to tell you why..._

"Hitsugaya-Taicho?" a sharp voice cut through his daze.

His eyes jerked up to her, but his face stayed focused on Hinamori.

"Are... are you sure this is what you want to do?"

For a moment he stood still before closing his eyes wearily and nodding.

Unohana regarded the pair: the sleeping Hinamori, burying herself into Hitsugaya's embrace... and the beaten and worn Hitsugaya... not even sure what to do with himself anymore.

"alright..." Unohana murmured. "I need to go and get a few things... so you can place her on the bed over there and you may have a moment with her."

Hitsugaya nodded meekly and Unohana slipped from the room and shut the door behind her. Walking over to the bed, he laid her body on the soft cushion, the warmth fading from his arms instantly. He stood next to the bed, not sure what to say. Not sure what to even do... only wishing that the people you want the most... want you just the same.

Swallowing hard, he figured he owed her an explanation.

"Hello Hinamori..." he spoke softly to her dreaming ears. "I bet you wonder what you are doing in this place again. And why I'm here. I guess I owe you an explanation, ne? ... I just want to tell you how amazing you are, and how lucky I was to be able to spend some of my life by your side. You made me who I am... you changed me for the better... and I thank you for that every day. I guess I'm just sorry that I still wasn't who you wanted me to be. I wish I could have been. I wish every day that I was strong enough to be the one for you. Strong enough to protect you when you need it most. I failed you in so many ways, and I suppose this is what I deserve. But you don't deserve to feel pain like you have been... so... so I'll take it. All of it. All I want is for you to be happy in whatever you do. As long as you are happy I can go on living. I will never, ever forget you, Hinamori... you will always be the one... Goodbye..."

Tears had silently slipped down his face while he talked, and his voice choked on the last word. Turning away from her, he pressed his hands against his face to get control of himself. It hurt... It hurt too much. _Will I really be able to surv-_

A warm hand gently rested on his arm. "Hitsugaya...?" a voice followed.

Hitsugaya spun around to find Hinamori awake and looking at him with a confused look. "What were you talking about, Hitsugaya? Whats going on?"

"Hinamori... I... How much did you...?" he stuttered out, his heart threatening to beat out of his chest.

"I... I heard you tell me that all you wanted was for me to be happy... and that I'll always be the one... " Her voice was soft, but sad. "and then... goodbye. Where are you going?! Whats going on?" her voice grew frantic as Unohana entered the room.

Hinamori turned to Unohana. "Unohana-Taicho! What is going on?!"  
Unohana only looked sadly at Hinamori. "I'm sorry, Hinamori..."

Hinamori frantically looked from Hitsugaya to Unohana. "W_ill someone please tell me why I am here?! And what is going on?!"_

Unohana looked at Hitsugaya, who had turned his focus on the window, and then back to the sobbing and desperate Hinamori. It wasn't easy for either one of them... and for one of them, it never will be.

"Hinamori... we are erasing your memories... of the past few months."

Hinamori's eyes faded as she consumed the words. "The... the past few months...? But... but I've only been awake for a few months..."

"Yes... we are erasing those of Hitsugaya-Taicho..."

Hinamori looked to Hitsugaya who still had his attention on the window.

"Hitsu... gaya...? How... why...?" she stuttered out around her tears.

"I'm sorry, Hinamori." Hitsugaya replied solemnly to the window.

"I don't understand... why are you doing this...?! why?!"

"It's the only thing I can do, Hinamori. You don't deserve to have this pain. You deserve all the happiness in the world. And that... doesn't include me."

"This is because of what I said last night, isn't it? _Isn't it?! _I didn't mean it, Hitsugaya! I was... I was angry! Please... please don't do this!" She sobbed out, her voice echoing through the room.

"No..." he murmured as his bloodshot eyes turned to her, "Last night only helped me realize that... that this is the only thing I can do to keep protecting you. To keep you safe and... and happy."

"Don't say that...! Don't do this! I don't want to loose my memories again! I don't want to... please...!" she begged. "Not of you, I want to keep my memories of you!"

Hitsugaya only stared at her, with the same weak expression that had clung to his face the whole time.

"Don't you understand?" she continued in her frantic tone, "That just because you erase my memories... you won't go away. I'll still see you all the time! There's no point in erasing them... there isn't! Because... because we'll just make more memories! Are you going to erase them, too, then?! Are you going to keep... keep _playing_ with me like this?!"

Hitsugaya's eyes fell to the ground. "I don't like doing this, Hinamori. But... but I have to."

"Why? Why do you have to do this?"

"Because... because I can't let myself get attached to you again, I can't let myself hope that maybe... just maybe we could be how we used to. ... I'll only end up hurting us both. We will never be that way again... "

Hinamori looked at him through watery eyes. He looked so weak; as if someone would push him and he would collapse. "Please..." she whispered.

He only shook his head. "Hinamori... I'm sorry... But, please trust me; this is what you need, it will help you. You wont hurt anymore."

"And you? What will it do to you?"

He looked into her eyes. "It will kill me."

Tears poured down her face as she leapt up from the bed and flung her arms around his neck, pulling him close. "Then... then don't do it... "

Hitsugaya gently placed his hands on her hips and pulled her arms off from around his neck. He sat her down on the bed again and walked towards the door.

"Hitsugaya! Don't do this... please! Please!" she screamed to him from where she was restrained by Unohana's arms. "Please! Please don't leave me! I... I need you...!" she sobbed.

Hitsugaya paused at the door and looked back at her. "I wish that were true." he murmured, "but I'm not the one you need. I never was. But, I always have... and always will... need you more than anyone or anything... and I'm sorry, Hinamori... I'm sorry that this had to be done to you... just because of me."

"Hitsugaya... don't say that!" she pleaded as tears poured down her face uncontrollably.

"I don't know when, or if, I will see you again... so, goodbye, Hinamori... "

A deadly silence filled the room as Hinamori's eyes widened in fear and realization.

"You... You're leaving...?" She asked weakly... even though she already knew the answer.

"... Yes. I am."

"Where? Where are you going?!" Her tone rose to a delirious level once more.

"It doesn't matter." he murmured out. "Hinamori... please, you will be happy. And that's all I need to survive. Just as long as you are still lighting up the world with your beautiful smile... and just as long as I know that... I will survive." He grasped a hold of the door frame in fear that his legs would give out from under him. "All that is important to me is that you are safe and happy. Even If I am no part of that. You are... the most beautiful person I have ever met, inside and out. And... and you deserve much more than what I can give you. I'm sorry. And... and goodbye... Momo." He stood and stared at her angelic face for the last time, interrupted by strands of crystal tears pouring out of her eyes for... for him, and he turned from the room, away from the sight of her, but he could still hear her frantic screams chasing him down the hall.

Leaning up against the wall outside her room, he waited for her be subdued so he could sign the paperwork for the memory erasing. Digging his hands into his pockets he was surprised to feel something cool greet his fingertips. Curiosity got the best of him and he pulled out the small object. It was a small crystal, very smooth to the touch. Half was ice, the other half fire. It had happened by accident one day when he and Hinamori were training in Shikai. They had set off an attack at exactly the same time, and each one was canceled out; the ice melted by the fire, and the fire killed by the ice. All that was left of the attack was the small crystal, the compression of their spiritual powers together. Half was deep turquoise, the other side as red as a ruby. Hitsugaya had snatched it up before Hinamori could and she had constantly begged him to let her have it- he never did. He loved to look at it- to see how they fit together perfectly... as though they were meant to be side-by-side...

His eyes widened as his heart fell.

In one swift motion, he pushed himself off the wall and ran as fast as he could to the room he had just left. "_Wait!_" he shouted into the room as he threw the door open just in time to see Unohana draw a needle from Hinamori's limp arm.

**-- Author's Note--**

Dun-dun-dunnn.

Wow. I am finally done.

FINALLY.

You have no idea how good that feels. Really. Well, anyway- I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I had quite a bit of fun writing it, however, it did get a bit long. I guess I just couldn't find the right place to stop.

Well, I found it.

Suckers.

Okay, well, wow, Fourteen pages. Of drama. this is about double my longest one... so, I feel accomplished. D The music for this chapter was by Andrewlandon, and I even used a few quotes from his poetry in there. So, thank you Andrewlandon. -bows-

and thank YOU for reading my baby. Hahaha. I hope you liked it!

If you have any questions or anything, don't hesitate to hit that review button!

And again, **I am SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO sorry** for the lateness... it really is inexcusable.


	11. Never Rember, Never Forget

**Remembering Winter**

Chapter 11: Never remember, Never forget

-- Author's Ramble --

Okay! So, this chapter is **very short**. It's one of those awkward change-of-scene/time/place chapters... so it's difficult for me to write. Also, I will be away from my computer for a whole week or more starting tomorrow... so I thought I would get this chapter out and done with so I can come back with fresh ideas! To all of you who read- thank you so much for not giving up on my story after my little slip-up with chapter 10! Knowing I have such a pile of readers gives me motivation to write for you! (as do reviews, yes? -laughs-)

So again, I am sorry, and thank you.

_Disclaimer: _I do not own Bleach. I wonder If I could buy stock?

--

Hitsugaya stared into the room, eyes focusing and blurring in the intense emotions charging through his body. Unohana had slowly turned around, needle still in hand, and was looking at Hitsugaya with a look of bewilderment.

"Hitsugaya... Taicho...? What... ?" she started, unable to finish.

Ignoring her, Hitsugaya managed to focus on the unconscious Hinamori, laying limp on the bed. His heart sank instantly at what he had just done to her. What he had just done to himself...

"Has she...?" he trailed off, hoping Unohana knew what was coming.

Unohana took a few steps forward so she was standing only a few feet away from Hitsugaya, still in between him and Hinamori.

"Yes, but... but there is a chance she will still remember, if that is what you are asking, Hitsugaya-Taicho...?" she spoke calmly in her sweet tone of voice.

"But... but I saw... I mean..." Hitsugaya searched for the right words for a moment before Unohana understood.

"Yes, she was injected with the primary dosage. But, there are two steps to a full memory erasing. The first injection of the concentrated memory chikan sets a signal on which memories are to be erased, while the second injection clears them away. They are somewhat similar to the memory chikans that shinigami out in the living world use, except those aren't very programmable or accurate."

"So since she only had the primary dosage... then... then... she should be fine...right?"

"Not exactly. There has never been an instance where memories needed to be signaled, and not erased. I can't guarantee anything. Also, with the first injection, the patient is put into a coma-like state, and wont wake up until the second dose has been administered. Are ... are you saying that you regret what you have just done, Hitsugaya-Taicho?" she spoke calmly.

Hitsugaya looked up at her, his emerald eyes melting, loosing their sharpness that had seemed permanent. "Will she hear me if I speak to her?"

Unohana blinked back a shock of surprise. "Well... well, yes- I suppose she might, I'm not sure. At the moment she is in the coma state... and I'm really not sure about the specifics of that... " she trailed off, feeling a bit unhelpful for not knowing the specifics of her medical techniques.

Not caring about any of the doubts Unohana stated, Hitsugaya whisked past the woman and stood beside Hinamori's bed.

Looking down at her, his heart broke all over again. Her face was pale, her whole body limp on the gurney. Auburn strands scattered around her face and the wet traces of tears still shimmered against her milky skin.

She looked... broken.

Broken-hearted, to be clear...

A sharp pang of guilt shot through his chest as he regarded her weak and frail body. If he didn't know better- he would think she were dead...

As if he were afraid he would break her, he gently slid her hand into his own. The coldness of her hand astonished him for a moment, being used to her overwhelming warmth...

Turning towards Unohana who remained where she was standing, and had her back to them, he still held on to her hand.

"Unohana-Taicho?" he said, and she turned around at his voice, listening. "Did... did I make the right decision?"

Smiling sadly in return, she stepped closer to the weakened Hitsugaya, placing a comforting hand lightly on his shoulder. "No one can know that right now. All we do know is that we did what we thought was best for Hinamori, even if she thought opposite. What happens as a result is unclear at the moment, but there is no going back."

Hitsugaya was glad that she used the term 'we' instead of 'you'.

"Thank you, Unohana-Taicho." he said, his tone a bit more collected. "Can I please have a moment with her?"

"Of course." murmured the cherubic captain as she left the room, closing the door softly behind her.

Emerald eyes followed the movement and rested on the closed door for a moment, before tracing the floorboards back to the bed, back to his Hinamori.

_No... not _my _Hinamori..._

Sighing, he sat down on the edge of the bed, her hand rested in his lap.

"Hello again, Hinamori." He started, not sure how else to. "I'm not sure if you can hear me, but if you can... this will be worth me sitting here talking to a seemingly dead person. No offense," He added as he patted her hand.

"I just want to tell you that I'm sorry I did this to you. And... and I'm sorry I over-looked your own feelings... but, this was something that I had to do. Not just for you- to give you the best life I can... But also for me. So I can stop hoping that someday... someday we can be together. I've realized that is an impossible dream that I have... and you don't share the same one."

He paused, swallowed hard, and continued. "When I was walking out... and you were screaming for me to turn around, to not leave you... I wavered. I want you. But more than that- I want you to be happy. Genuinely happy. And this... is the only way you can be. I won't be weighing you down anymore, and I wont be clawing at your memory, either. You can be free, and feel... feel like yourself. Please, Hinamori, stay who you are. Stay my beautiful angel."

He looked away from her eyes and lowered his own eyes to his lap where her hand lay, enclosed in his own. In his other hand held the small crystal of fire and ice, of her and himself.

Standing up from her bed as slowly as he could he faced her hand upwards in his own. Delicately folding her fingers away from her palm, he placed the small ruby and turquoise gem in her palm and enclosed her slender fingers around it before raising her fisted hand to his lips. After placing a soft kiss on her luminous hand he placed it by her side and used his now free hand to brush away her strands of unruly hair from her angelic face.

"Please," he whispered, his face only a few inches away from her own "move on with your life, and be happy in everything that you do. I will never stop thinking about you, and I will never stop caring about you... I will always love you... _always."_

--

Hitsugaya walked out of her room and slid the door silently shut behind him. Feeling empty and numb inside he knew that he had left the small remembrance of her past life together with him in the room... as well as the part of his heart that beat for Hinamori alone.

And that part... was his whole heart.

He simply felt bleak, emotionless as he walked back to his quarters to grab his small bag of things and to strap Hyorinmaru around his back.

It was time to leave. And to never look back on his life there.

The gate to the living world opened in a static blue before him just as the sun fully awoke from the sleeping hills in the distance.

The Captain-Commander and his lieutenant were the only one's present to see Hitsugaya off, they were the only ones who knew he was leaving. Orders were handed over, a professional good-bye was bidden, and Hitsugaya looked straight ahead at the gate before him- threatening to swallow him whole, as he awaited his hell butterfly- his one traveling companion. Sighing, he caught a glimpse of delicate black wings awaiting his exit out of the corner of his eye, and he leapt through the gate.

Never looking back.

Never returning.

--A/N--

Yes. Very short, like I said.

Sorry about that. But I'd say that since I wrote _so freaking much _for chapter 10, you guys deserve a quickie.

Ahahaa... quickie...

... and I'm done being immature startingggg... _**now. **_

And _**now **_you can go down there and smack that review button. I reply to every single review I get. Pinkie promise.

Thanks for reading!

(Oh, and in case you didn't remember- a Memory Chikan is one of those things that Rukia used on Orihime and Tatsuki in that episode with Orihime's hollow brother. And it made them think that a sumo wrestler broke into her house or something... well, yeah. Just an FYI in case you aren't as fangirly-obsessed as me.)


	12. Cigarettes And Ferraris

**Remembering Winter **

Chapter 12: Cigarettes And Ferraris

--A/N--

Alright! Here we are again!

I am very excited to share this chapter with you guys. It's the start of a whole new segment, arc, part... whatever you want to call it. It's new, and it's all mine. D

Well, without further ado: chapter 12.

_Disclaimer: _Still don't own Bleach. But it's on my Christmas list.

--

**- Thirty Years Later -**

Cars honked, jammed in the rush-hour traffic. People in raincoats and carrying umbrellas scurried down the packed sidewalks in the soft drizzle of rain that danced in between the tall skyscrapers of Tokyo. Steam rose from open areas of sidewalk or street as the cool rain collided into the sun-warmed cement. The noise never seemed to stop.

Leaning up against a wall, Hitsugaya was protected from the mist of rain from an awning. His cold, hard eyes reflected the people walking by in their sharp emerald pools. Sighing, he ran a hand through his white hair that had grown longer and into his eyes. Bending one long, slender leg, he rested the bottom of his foot against the wall. Biting the inside of his lip, he searched his pockets for a moment before finding a pack of cigarettes and a lighter in the depths of his suit jacket pocket. He pulled out one of the cigarettes and slid the box back into the pocket they came from before flicking a small fame from the lighter. For a moment, he stared at the dancing flame in his hand, how it's aura lit up the gray streets before his eyes. A light breeze surged it's way through the people and grabbed a hold of the delicate flame, blowing it out after a flicker or two. Shaking his head to clear it of whatever sentimental crap that had floated around in there, he pressed the cigarette between his lips and lifted the re-lighted flame to the end of it until it lit. He re-placed the lighter as he inhaled and let the thick, relieving smoke fill his lungs before letting the gray twirls dance intricately in the air before dispersing into the **tenebrous sky. **

Rolling back his jacket over his left-handed wrist, he checked the time.

"Five more minutes..."he sighed to himself, as he re-clothed his wrist and took another deep, satisfying drag from his cigarette, enjoying his break from the hectic workday.

"Hitsugaya-Sama?" a small female voice said at his side.

He turned his eyes in the direction of the voice to find someone's petite and trembling assistant. It was a bit hard to keep track of everyone in such a big business...

"Yeah?" he asked questioningly before taking another long drag and letting the warm smoke pour out between his lips.

She held out the holder in front of her. She had just been to the Starbucks on the corner.

"Your coffee, sir."

"Oh." he murmured, switching his cigarette to his left hand so he could reach down and grab his coffee with his right and bring it to his lips. Black. Just the way he liked it.

"Thanks." he said to the girl before she walked through the doors by his side, into the building. She nodded in return and disappeared, leaving Hitsugaya to enjoy his lunch break in solitude once more.

Sighing, he leaned his head back on the brick wall behind him and looked up at the threatening sky once more, silently hoping it would clear up before he had to leave...

"Hitsugaya-Sama!" a frantic voice came from the gold-plated doors into the building.

Mentally, Hitsugaya strangled the voice. It was no other than Mikio. The most obnoxious person in all of Tokyo. Why anyone thought he was suitable as an assistant in the firm was obviously delusional. With Mikio, everything was an emergency. If someone forgot to turn in a case report- it was the end of the world. If someone forgot to clean their mug after getting some coffee- they should be banned from the coffee machine. If someone set the paper shredder on fire-... wait. That was Mikio's fault. So it was obviously excused.

"_Hitsugaya-Sama!"_ Mikio called out again. Obviously getting frustrated.

"What the hell do you want, Mikio?" Hitsugaya growled, not even bothering to look at him.

"Hitsugaya-Sama! We have a problem!" Mikio blurted out in a panic-y tone.

Nonplussed with Mikio's constant ignorance, Hitsugaya opened his eyes only to glower at him before lifting the much-needed cigarette to his lips for another thirsty drag.

"And what would that be?" Hitsugaya's husky and obviously irritated tone made the assistant tremble slightly, "Did the paper shredder catch on fire again?"

After a moment or two of flustering, Mikio replied with a self-assured "_No_." and began to explain the tragedy that had happened while Hitsugaya ignored mostly everything he was saying.

_Probably something about that one employee on the third floor who always turns her reports in a day late. He seems to have it in for her. Maybe he's having an affair with her. He _is _married, right? I think so. Maybe he wants me to get rid of her so there will be no temptation... _

Laughing to himself, Hitsugaya kicked himself off the wall and walked over to the still-talking Mikio and cocked a brow at him before tossing what was left of his cigarette on the ground and putting it out with the toe of his shoe.

"Whatever you say, Mikio." He murmured as he stalked past the brown-haired assistant, who was left blinking in a state of confusion behind his black-rimmed glasses.

Hitsugaya's break was over, not that it really mattered, so he walked up to the glass doors of the tall building labeled with the company title in gold:

_Hitsugaya & Masahori Law_

_135-0833 Hongo-Dori St._

_Too bad_, he thought as his shoes squeaked on the sparkling black and white tile in the spacious and glamorous entrance of his building, _If only Mikio wasn't Masahori's beloved assistant I could fire the obnoxious-_

"Hitsugaya-Sama!"

_Speak of the devil... _Hitsugaya couldn't help but mutter to himself as Mikio caught up to him and followed him into the elevator. Leaning over, Hitsugaya pressed the button for the top office floor, 72.

"Hitsugaya-Sa-"

"Can't you tell that I'm ignoring you, Mikio?" Hitsugaya asked sharply, interrupting the babbling assistant who let an embarrassed blush creep into his cheeks at the stares and snickers of the other elevator occupants. Waiting patiently for the elevator to reach his floor, he gave brief nods to those who got off at their floor and gave him a respectful "Good day, Hitsugaya-Sama" or a smile and a slight bow.

Finally, the elevator's doors slid open to the luxurious top floor. Deep polished wood gave off a satisfying echo through the room as Hitsugaya took gracefully long strides to the glass double-doors that led to his private office.

"Hitsugaya-Sama!" a tenderly light female voice called to him. Stopping, he turned, and a petite blonde handed over a small pile of envelopes. "These just arrived for you, Sir" she said with a smile blooming on her red lips.  
"Thank you" he murmured. He didn't remember her name, nor did he care. As she slipped from the room, off to deliver more documents, Hitsugaya slid out of his black suit jacket and threw it over the back of one of the modern white couches littering the reception area. The whole room was very modern, and very crisp, clean white. Glass-topped tables offered vases of imported flowers and fresh magazines. Plush rugs were laid in seating areas and were light green in color. It was important to make clients feel as comfortable as possible- even when waiting to speak to an attorney.

"Is there anything I can get for you, Sir?" The woman behind the reception desk asked politely as she got up to retrieve his jacket from the sofa before hanging it up in the closet not too far away.

"No thank you, Naomi." He murmured as he flipped through the envelopes and pushed through the doors to his office.

Any ray of sunlight that managed to peer through the rainclouds soared into his office through the massive wall of floor-to-ceiling windows that overlooked the skyline of Tokyo. He could clearly see the University of Tokyo which he had graduated from- just up the street a ways. Sighing, he walked away from the windows and across the deep wood floor to his desk that sat facing the windows in the center of the expansive room. Shelves and shelves of books clung to the inside walls of the office against the very light, ice blue walls. Drawers of files sat against another wall, and plush, white chairs softened the room. It was his space, and it was just the way he liked it.

Sitting down at his desk for a moment, he realized that an envelope was not addressed to him, but to his partner, Akito Masahori_. _Pushing himself out of his chair, he walked back out of his office and through the glass double doors opposite his, and was suddenly in a room of bright red, deep woods, and gold accents.

"Haven't you ever heard of knocking, Toshiro?" A deep male voice greeted him, smooth in a rough way.

Smirking, Hitsugaya leaned up against a file cabinet with his arms folded across his chest. "I'll consider it... once you start putting it to use."

"Fair enough." Akito said as he smiled and brushed a lock of wavy black hair out of his pale eyes that had a hard time deciding if they wanted to be silver or green.

"Seems like you need a haircut" Hitsugaya critiqued as he walked over to the desk Akito was seated behind and sat on the edge of it, letting one leg swing back and fourth. His partner and dearest friend's hair had grown to near-shoulder length and danced over his sculpted jawbone, constantly being a cause for complaints from Akito as he brushed it out of his eyes. Hitsugaya shook his head slightly and slid the envelope on his maple desk.

"Nah. I got more important things to do. What do you have for me there?" He asked, looking up from his scheduler to the envelope.

"Like one of your secretaries? Lets see... which one haven't you done...?" Hitsugaya's eyes glittered in amusement as Akito glared up at him before swiping his hair to the side in a glamorous movement as he regained his composure.

"At least I take the time and effort to get to know my personal assistants." He retorted arrogantly, "Oh wait. That's right. You don't even _have _a secretary."

"I don't see the need to pay someone to do something that I could do myself faster and better."

Akito's eyes glistened mischievously, knowing Hitsugaya had just left himself wide open for some smart-ass remark.

"Don't even start." Hitsugaya muttered, instantly recognizing the look in his eyes, and would much rather not discuss his relationship status, or the multiple reasons for having a secretary other than the obvious.

Laughing, Akito stood up from his desk and proved that he was the same height as Hitsugaya. His long legs clad in navy blue and a matching shirt with stripes of white clung tightly to his toned body. "I'm just saying, Toshiro..." He started, ignoring the eye-roll that came from the general direction of Hitsugaya, "Some day you'll realize what you've been missing out on all these years."

Sighing, Hitsugaya unbuttoned another button from his already loose shirt and rolled up his sleeves to mid forearm. "Are you talking about secretaries or relationships?"

A confused look ran across Akito's face before disappearing into a flaunting grin. "Well, I was talking about secretaries, but I suppose it could go either way!"

Resisting the urge to ram his head into the wall beside him, Hitsugaya murmured "I've never had either one before, and I seem to be doing pretty well..."

"Oh not at all, my dear friend!" Akito squealed as he spun around to face him, "People will start talking! What kind of a millionaire goes home every night to an empty apartment?"

"It's hardly _empty_." He muttered as he looked at the wall temptingly.

"I hardly count your expensive arrays of designer furniture as companions." Akito cried as he flung his arms into the air helplessly at the resistance of his friend.

"Yeah, well, they are the only companions I need right now," Hitsugaya murmured as he slid off of the desk in a graceful motion and strode to the doors, "But thank you for trying to change my professional life as well as my personal one."

"Anytime, Toshiro." Akito winked at him as Hitsugaya let the door shut behind him and walk back into the coolness of his own office, leaning against a wall in thought.

As strange as Akito seemed, he was a very clever worker, and Hitsugaya decided he would rather have no one else other than him as his partner. They met at the University, in a law class. Hitsugaya was the silent genius that sat in the back and kept to himself. Akito was the loud, obnoxious one that never really seemed to be able to shut up. But he was smart- and he knew what he was talking about- when it came to law, that is. When the two of them were selected to start out at a firm even before they graduated, it took some time for them to warm up to each other- but they soon grew inseparable. After a few solid years of attorney work behind them- they decided to start their own firm together; and it was the best decision anyone could have made. Now, being held at a very prestigious level, the firm had many highly skilled lawyers working day and night for their clients. So many lawyers in fact, that Hitsugaya and Masahori rarely even had to appear in court anymore. They took to assigning clientèle to attorneys that would work together nicely, lending out a hand to the more difficult cases, and most of all- paperwork. It never seemed to end for Hitsugaya. Of course, Akito had a fleet of secretaries that could handle much of it for him. At the moment- his troop consisted of two blondes, two brunettes, and a redhead. Hitsugaya, on the other hand, much rathered to do all of his paperwork by himself. It was the way it had always been, after all...

He let a smile spread across his face at the thought of Matsumoto and her constant (and convenient) disappearance at the mention of work. Sure, she was a pain in the ass half the time, but he trusted her, and she never gave him a reason not to.

The soft smile slipped from his lips and a frown crinkled at his brow at the remembrance of his other life, his past life. Which one was it now? Bringing a hand up he rested his forehead in his palm, coaxing the headache that had started to prick behind his eyes to go away. He walked over to his desk and sat behind it, pulled open the top drawer and fumbled around inside it for a pack of cigarettes. Once they were found, he leaned back in his desk chair and kicked his legs up on his desk, crossing them at the ankles as he lit his cigarette and took a couple healthy drags.

It had been so long since he had even thought about Soul Society... It seemed to far away now... he wondered if he would ever go back.

_I wonder if I'm even allowed back... _He thought as he watched gray fingers of smoke taunt the air before flicking the ash off the end of his cigarette in the ashtray on his desk.

Thirty whole years had been spent in the living world. For the first ten or so- Hitsugaya had traveled the world, it was part of his mission. He was required to measure the density of hollows all over the world and report it back to Soul Society. Then he was supposed to keep a close eye on the area that was highest in density as well as strength of the hollow. Not surprising, Japan was the highest. Kaurakura Town to be exact.

_No thanks to Kurosaki and his oozing riatsu... _Hitsugaya thought bitterly at the thought of the orange-haired substitute shinigami who attracted hollows like nobody's business.

So, for awhile Hitsugaya spent time in Kaurakura Town, near Kurosaki's house, just to be on the safe side. Actually, he had stayed with Ichigo and spent nights in the closet in his room. Until Rukia came to visit...

Hitsugaya shuddered slightly at the remembrance of the wrath of Rukia once she discovered there was another occupant in her closet space. After much coaxing and offerings of Chappy-shaped things, Rukia decided that Hitsugaya could stay in _her _closet, and she spent the nights with Ichigo. Which, she later confessed, would have done anyway. Of course, she admitted that _after _Chappy had eaten quite a dent in both Hitsugaya and Ichigo's wallets.

Not long after that, Hitsugaya decided he had been driven crazy quite enough, and moved to downtown Tokyo to do something with his real world life. So- he took law classes and became very successful as a lawyer, and now a businessman. All while keeping tabs on (namely) Kaurakura Town.

He had grown quite accustomed to his new life. It was nice, he decided, to be able to go out into the living world and experience in depth what so few shinigami rarely even get a taste of.

Gazing out the windows at the persistent beams of early-evening sunlight that had finally broken through the heaps of stormy clouds he took another long drag and slowly exhaled.

_I wonder... I wonder how she is... _He thought, with a weary dullness clouding his usually sharp emerald eyes. It was a rare occasion that he even let himself think of her... Maybe it was time to-

"Hitsugaya-Sama!" Mikio's voice echoed into his office, unexpected and unwanted.

_Seriously? _Hitsugaya thought as he violently put out his cigarette in the ash tray and sharply stood up from his desk, his back to Mikio.

"Hitsugaya-Sama!" Mikio called again, his voice even more high-pitched than previously.

_Akito only keeps him around to annoy me, I know it. Why the hell did he hire the bastard in the first place...? It was some idiotic reason that only Akito would come up with... Oh, thats right; their names rhyme, that was it. _

"Hitsuga-"

Without giving Mikio another chance to push Hitsugaya closer and closer to the edge, Hitsugaya rushed over to him, grabbed him by the shirt collar and stormed out of his office and was about to barge into Akito's when he stopped. He looked at the shocked (And for once, silent) Mikio, then at the door, and back at Mikio. He raised his hand, all while looking at Mikio out of the corner of his eye threateningly. Fisting his raised hand, he pulled his arm back and Mikio winced, knowing Hitsugaya could break his nose in one shot.

But nothing happened. After a few moments of anxious silence, Mikio opened one eye to find Hitsugaya staring at him with a confused look on his face, as he held his fist up to the door and knocked.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Mikio?" Hitsugaya muttered as he waited briefly for Akito to tell him to come in. He threw open one of the double doors and rushed through, letting Mikio collide with the still-shut door as he dragged him behind him. Akito looked up from a paper at the obviously enraged Hitsugaya and a perpetually terrified Mikio in his grasp. It didn't take him long to figure out the situation.

"One moment," he murmured professionally as he scrawled his signature on the bottom and handed it to blonde secretary number two standing beside his desk to send out to a client. She quickly sauntered from the room, but not before receiving a flirtatious wink from Akito.

"So... What seems to be the problem?" he asked nonchalantly as he folded his hands in his lap and leaned back in his chair.

"Fire him." Hitsugaya seethed, cutting right to the chase.

Akito's bows arched in amusement as he regarded Hitsugaya's rigid stance and blazingly icy eyes. Maybe it was just him, but it felt like the room even chilled a few degrees.

"Why should I do that? Mikio is a hard worker." He said reasonably.

Hitsugaya let out an angry noise of what might be considered laughter. "A _hard worker? Mikio? _You have got to be messing with me, Akito. All Mikio does is bother me all day long. If you call that hard working, then yes, by all means, Mikio is the hardest worker in the whole company."

A grin flashed across Akito's face and his pale green eyes glistened in delight. "That's because I told him to do that."

"You _what_?" Hitsugaya deadpanned, checking himself before he said anything else.

"You heard me," Akito said as he stood up from behind his desk and walked over to them and pried Hitsugaya's shaking hand off of Mikio's shirt collar, "I told him to be your personal secretary." Akio smiled triumphantly and gave the weak-kneed Mikio a rough pat on the shoulder, which turned out not to be such a good idea as Mikio's knees nearly gave out from the sudden push.

"I... hate... you..." Hitsugaya seethed at Akito's direction, who only smiled brightly at his friend's response.

"No you don't." he said brightly as he swiped a wave of black hair out of his eyes. "Just because I have made a little bit of your life living hell does not give you the right to hate me." He practically glittered as he smiled.

"Oh really now? Well, I think it at least gives me the right to beat the shit out of you," Hitsugaya growled as he cocked a brow challengingly. Akito's smile wavered for a moment as he took an instinctive step back.

"I'll make a deal with you, Toshiro." He replied, suddenly recovered.

Inwardly, Hitsugaya rolled his eyes. "And what would that be?"

"In exchange for me firing Mikio you must go out with me and a few friends tonight!" He flew his arms into the air dramatically and looked as though he would do a pirouette at any moment. It was one of those moments that Hitsugaya wondered if his friend was gay. But then again, when Akito said "friends" he meant "a dozen gorgeous supermodels".

Hitsugaya sighed and relaxed his shoulders. "Just that?"

Akito practically glittered in delight. "Yes," he said brightly, then the glittering stopped for a moment, and was replaced by a mischievous grin that Hitsugaya had learned to fear, "No." He finished, "That's not all."

_Oh dear lord... _Hitsugaya's heartbeat sped up a little in fear of what Akito would come up with.

"You must get a secretary!" He exclaimed, this time preforming the pirouette.

"No." Hitsugaya cut him off mid-squee. "I don't want one, I don't need one. I'll just kill Mikio and we can move on from here."

Mikio, who had just woken up from a daze of shock, made a whimpering noise beside Akito's desk.

"Oh, get a backbone, Mikio." Akito said with a somewhat disgusted tone in his voice, "He wouldn't actually kill you."

Mikio, who had first-handedly experienced the wrath of Hitsugaya, had other thoughts.

"But either way," Akito continued, turning back to Hitsugaya and smiling brightly once more, "I won't make him get a secretary. But there will come a time when it will become unavoidable." he finished, almost threateningly.

Sighing in light relief, Hitsugaya turned to leave the office.

"Oh- Toshiro-" Akito called out.

Glancing over his shoulder, Hitsugaya regarded his friend expectantly.

"I'll be at your house at eight-thirty. We're taking your car."

Hitsugaya grinned as he shoved open the door. "Which one?"

--

At exactly eight twenty-nine, a sleek town car pulled up in front of Hitsugaya's apartment building. Moments later a sleeker car pulled out from behind the building and stopped in front of the town car. Akito's driver got out and opened the black town car door and he got out and walked over to the car, looking it over appraisingly. The black paint shimmered flauntingly in the fluorescent glow of street lamps on the smooth car. With a soft click, the driver's side door opened and Hitsugaya slid out of the car in a white button-up shirt with the top two buttons undone and a pair of faded jeans. His black converse-ed feet sounded on the gravel as he delighted in the practically drooling look on Akito's face as he gazed at his car.

"This... is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen..." Akito murmured, dazed.

"I wonder how many one night stand-ers have heard that one before." Hitsugaya joked. Akito stopped drooling only long enough to send him a playful glare.

"That's none of your business. And there's a difference between women and cars. Is this even on the market yet?"

"Nope. The Ferrari F250 is scheduled to have it's debut in September." Hitsugaya couldn't help but brag. Akito had women, Hitsugaya had cars.

"Damn..." Akito muttered, "I need to get me one of these..."

"Highly unlikely." Hitsugaya shattered his dreams in a ruthless heartbeat, "Perhaps we should go...?"

Scowling, Akito slid into the car and was even more jealously delighted with the black leather interior. "And how the hell did _you_ get one?" He murmured as he looked around the car.

Hitsugaya smiled wickedly. "I know a guy." He glanced in the rear view mirror to catch Akito's infuriated expression. He wasn't let down.

--

After following Akito's lacking directions that lead them all through downtown Tokyo, Hitsugaya flipped on the navigation system and found the club in mere minutes.

"Sorry, Akito," Hitsugaya laughed as he got out of the car, "I wanted you to think you were smarter than my car, but there's only so much I can take."

He completely forgot to look at Akito's expression in response to that as he looked at the drooling stare on the face of the valet. Hitsugaya held his keys out to the man and smiled wickedly. "You scratch it, you die." he murmured and walked into the club, with a glittering Akito behind him.

The line to get inside was long, and would have most likely taken all night, if Akito wasn't... Akito. Apparently, he was quite a regular- as they were let into the crowded club with a smile.

Flashing lights and the silhouettes of crowded bodies greeted them as they walked down the small flight of concrete stairs into the basement club. A sweet smell of sweat and alcohol hung in the air and loud music blared from the speakers, shaking the floor and vodka bottles on the bar. A scantily-clad cocktail waitress sauntered by in a leather mini-skirt and ridiculously high stilettos, passing a heavily-mascara-ed wink at Akito, who blew a kiss and a wink back. Sweaty dancers moved like a mob on the dance floor to ear-numbing trance beats as waitresses skillfully moved between them in their high heels and tube tops. Bartenders mixed drinks faster than necessary and they, too, were gorgeous women- and unashamed to show it.

Akito nudged Hitsugaya and pointed to a table in the corner of the club that was the VIP section. The table wasn't empty. Akito, now in his own territory, sauntered in front of Hitsugaya in his jeans and pinstriped suit jacket, with a screen tee underneath. He waved flirtatiously at his six companions, who all smiled back sweetly. It was all Hitsugaya could do to not start laughing at the idiocy of his friend. Before they reached the table Akito turned around to face Hitsugaya with a look of determination on his face, as if he needed to settle a lawsuit right then and there.

"I get the blonde on the far left and the redhead next to her."

_I should have known... _Hitsugaya rolled his eyes inwardly.

"Hmm..." Hitsugaya bit his lip as he scanned the girls over Akito's shoulder, "You can have the blonde, but I'll fight you for the redhead." He teased with a grin on his face.

Akito laughingly shook his head. "I wish you actually meant that," he murmured almost sadly before turning and prancing over to the girls, plopping down (gracefully, of course) right in between the blonde and redhead he treasured so much, sliding his arms around them both. Much slower, Hitsugaya stalked over, looking as though he owned the place. And, he very well could. It was the unwritten requirement of millionaires to buy things. And not just little things like Porsches and Lamborghinis.

"Ladies," Akito announced, "this is my good friend, Hitsugaya. Treat him well." He turned to the row of girls to his right and lowered his voice, "It's been awhile."

As the girls had a little giggle-fit over that, Hitsugaya only smirked angrily at his friend.

"It's okay," one of the blondes said in a high-pitched voice as she sipped her drink, "I can go slow for you." She looked at him with her bright blue eyes clouded with lust. It was all Hitsugaya could do to not throw up in his mouth.

Sensing his friend was having a miniature-panic, Akito suggested they all get a fresh round of drinks. And they did, many times.

Akito swiveled the olives around in his martini before plucking them out, popping them in his mouth, and slamming the glass on the table littered with numerous empty glasses.

"I want to dance, ladies," he slurred, getting up and moving in the direction of the pounding dance floor, "who's coming with me?"

Five of the six girls got up and swaggered along with him in their thigh-brushing dresses with plunging necklines, leaving Hitsugaya with a brunette. He glanced over at her through his frosted martini glass as he took a healthy sip. Her lengthy auburn hair dripped partway down her back and a veil of bangs nearly covered her left eye. Jeans clung tightly to her legs, which he noticed were slightly shorter than her supermodel-bodied friends, and a black sequined tank top hugged her curves, and light up when a beam of colored light passed over her. High cheekbones adorned her lightly tan face and pouting red lips. He found himself wishing he could tell her eye color...

"Hi," she said sweetly in a lighthearted voice, "I'm Yumi." She held out her hand, which he took.

"I'm Toshiro." He found himself mirroring her smile, not realizing he still held her soft hand in his own. Her eyes were deep ocean blue...

"So, I'm guessing you were dragged along here tonight?" she asked with a cute tilt of the head as he let her hand go to pull out his pack of cigarettes of his pocket.

"You guessed it," he muttered, and signaled to the cigarettes, "You mind?"

She smiled widely and leaned over to slide a cigarette out of his pack. "Not if you don't." She said with laughing eyes as she pulled a lighter out of her jeans pocket.

Lighting his own, he leaned back in the couch wrapped around the table and took a heavy drag, letting it fill his lungs before letting it out slowly, "Why aren't you over dancing with your friends?" he asked, motioning to Akito doing what might be considered dancing with the girls.

Yumi glanced over her shoulder at them. "I don't dance." she grinned, "at least not like that. Plus, I have absolutely no interest in even being here. I, like you, was dragged along- and I only came because I knew I wouldn't be paying for the booze if I was with a couple of millionaires." She finished with a wicked grin and lifted her blue drink as if to toast Hitsugaya.

Hitsugaya couldn't remember the last time he laughed so hard.

Neither could he remember a night that he had so much fun. While Akito grinded under the bright lights, he and Yumi sat in the booth and talked. He found out she was a real estate agent, did occasional modeling (when asked to by her friends with numerous connections), and had an amazing laugh and smile that lit up the room. She had lived in Tokyo her whole life, was a ballet dancer when she was in school, and had eyes that he could loose himself in. She was allergic to cats, had an obsession with Hello Kitty, and was the most gorgeous thing he had ever seen.

At two am, Akito and his fleet of supermodels sauntered drunkly back to the table and announced that he was leaving (with the blonde and redhead). The three rejects decided to stay longer, prowling for some late-night prey, and Hitsugaya decided he had better get home, too. He and Yumi followed in the wake of Akito who had his arms around the blonde and redhead. Out on the sidewalk, a sleek town car pulled up and the giggling trio stumbled into the back before taking off in the direction of Akito's place. Hitsugaya only shook his head at his friend knew he wouldn't be at work tomorrow.

_Hell, _he thought, _I doubt I'll even be at work tomorrow... and I had what? Two drinks? _

"Oh _shit_!" Yumi muttered at his side. He looked at her with a confused look and she explained that Takara was her ride home. At seeing his even-more confused look she rephrased, "The blonde."

"Oh. I see." Hitsugaya murmured as she fumbled around in her purse for her phone. "I can take you home. You don't live too far, right?"

She looked up briefly at him before looking back into her purse, still in pursuit of her phone. "Nah, it's okay- I'll take a cab."

"Are you sure?"

"Yup."

"It's no trouble."

"It's okay, really." she said as she triumphantly pulled her phone out of her bag just as the valet brought Hitsugaya's Ferrari around. Taking one look at the car, her phone was forgotten as her mouth fell open slightly.

"Let me try this again," Hitsugaya said smoothly as he took three steps to his car and opened the passenger side door, "Will you let me bring you home, Yumi-San?"

A sweet smile bloomed on her red lips as she gave out a breath of laughter and slipped her phone back into her purse. Her high heels clicked lightly on the sidewalk as she walked over to the open car door. "Yes." She whispered as she slipped into the car and Hitsugaya shut the door before sliding into the driver's seat. Starting the ignition, he pulled away from the curb and flew down the street a ways before looking at Yumi. "Where do you live?" He asked her.

She gave him simple directions to her apartment which was, as he expected, not far. Letting a pouting grin form on her lips, she looked at Hitsugaya from underneath her long lashes. "But... I'm much more interested in where you live." She murmured with a husky tone in her voice.

Hitsugaya stopped the car at a red light. If he turned right, he would be headed for his apartment. If he turned left, he would be heading for hers.

He turned his blinker on and waited for the light to change while drumming his fingers on the steering wheel in tune with his beating heart.

-- A/N --

Oooh! I'm so mean! This chapter was basically just an introduction to the new life of Hitsugaya and how it's going in the living world. I really had fun adding some new characters. (Even though I'm quite sure Yumi is quite disliked. -laughs-) Anyway- it took me awhile to decide in a direction to go in, so that is the lame excuse for the lateness. But my chapters are always late. So you guys should be used to that. I'm going to start chapter thirteen right after I post this so hopefully I can get that one out asap.

Oh, and I totally disapprove of smoking. But I saw a picture of Hitsugaya smoking and it gave me a warm and fuzzy feeling inside and I knew I MUST use that idea. -laughs-

Thanks for reading!

I love you guys!


	13. Sapphires, or Rubies?

**Remembering Winter**

Chapter 13: Sapphires or Rubies?

--A/n--

About... 20 minutes ago I posted chapter twelve. I'm determined to speed up my updating.

... Let's hope that lasts, ne?

A week or so later... The lateness this time is NOT MY FAULT. My computer caught a bad virus and was in the hospital for a while... But it's all better now, so everything is good. .. until _I _got sick, and _I _had to go to the doctor a few times... haha.

Allrightie then- let's start on lucky number thirteen!

Thanks for reading, and reviewing.

--

The whole city was sleeping as the lights in Hitsugaya's apartment were flicked on. Riding up to the penthouse apartment, his heart pounded in his chest ruthlessly as he frantically wondered if he had made the right choice. In fact, there was probably still a bit of panic rising in his chest, but it dimmed once he saw the familiarity of his apartment. Turquoise walls greeted him as he stepped up the three stairs from the doorway to his living room with crisp white furniture in a modern, yet functional and comfortable design. Tossing his car keys on the glass coffee table he looked around, and figured that his apartment was much too ... pale for her taste. Biting his lip, he figured she'd find it distasteful.

Well then, it was a good thing she wasn't there.

He walked through his living room to the three stairs on the other side and walked into his dining room. Moonlight from the floor-to-ceiling windows behind the table spilled itself on the glass tabletop, making it shimmer like a still lake. He rounded a corner, around the wall that held up his plasma screen TV in his living room, and into his kitchen. Running a hand along the stainless steel counter tops, he walked along the aqua-tiled floor to his black lacquered fridge, and pried it open in search of a bottle of water. Sighing, he cracked the seal on the bottle and stood in his sparkling clean kitchen downing the drink.

_It's defiantly for the better that she didn't come over here, _He thought, _I mean, It would be hard to explain if-_

At that moment, his phone-slash-hollow detector beeped loudly, indicating a hollow invasion in the area.

_If that happened, _He laughed as he jumped out of his gigai and was suddenly clad in his black robes and captain's haori. Hyorinmaru was strapped on his back. He felt excited- it had been a long time since he had needed to go out, Ichigo could usually handle them- as well as the other shinigami in the area. Flying over to the doors leading out to his patio from his dining room, he leapt off the edge and was in pursuit of what was recorded as a very strong hollow. He leapt from building to building as the surroundings blurred into a colored faze as he soared through the night sky. Freezing, December dusk air whipped his face and ran through his hair as he practically smiled, feeling like himself- if only for a moment. A chirpy beeping noise echoed into the night and Hitsugaya came to a halt mid-air, knowing the hollow was near... but he couldn't sense it...

A piercing scream shook from the trees of a nearby park and without a moment wasted, he followed the sound through the thick trees to a small clearing where a massive hollow leaned over a shinigami's fainted figure- a pile of black robes laying on the ground. That was all it took for him to draw Hyorinmaru and raise his riatsu a few degrees which, in turn, lowered the temperature a few more than it already was. The hollow suddenly was un-interested with the wilted shinigami, and decided it would be much more fun to play some more, and eat later. With a twisted grin the hollow turned around and faced Hitsugaya's determined stance. It loomed over Hitsugaya, it's hollow mask shaped like a hawk's. Long, hollow-fied wings spread out from it's back and two sets of razor-sharp talons from it's body. The breath caught slightly in Hitsugaya's throat as he realized this wasn't just an ordinary hollow, it was an Adjucas.

"Hello there, Taicho-San..." the hollow smirked in a nasally voice, "You interrupted my dinner... but don't worry- you can make up for it by letting me eat you, too." Cackled laughter shook the trees surrounding them.

Sighing, Hitsugaya reached behind him and grasped Hyorinmaru, sliding him out of his sheath and taking a fighting stance in one smooth movement. He was used to the over-confidence and massive appetite of hollows, but it still irritated him. Glancing at the taken-down shinigami he was assured that they were still alive, he could sense spiritual pressure from them. Putting his attention back on the hollow, he set his jaw and tensed his muscles in anticipation of the fight that awaited.

In a blink of an eye, the hollow lunged forward in a large swoop, it's large talons aching to grab a hold of their prey. Hitsugaya skillfully flash-stepped to the side, avoiding contact all together. Halting, the hollow turned it's head to Hitsugaya with a sickening grin. "Not bad, Taicho-San..." It cackled, "But not good enough, either."

Inwardly, Hitsugaya rolled his eyes.

"I'm terribly sorry," the hollow continued, a malicious laugh in it's voice, "But I'm not a fan of playing with my food before supper. How 'bout we finish this up?"

Hitsugaya arched his brows in amusement as the hollow spread out it's wings in full, revealing layers of razor-sharp, jagged feathers. "How do you like that, Taicho-San?" It cackled as it's long, feathered tail did the same. Hitsugaya remained silent as he concentrated on raising his riatsu as much as possible without sending Tokyo into a perpetual winter. The hollow wasn't worth Shikai, and definitely not Bankai.

It happened so fast, it came at Hitsugaya in slow motion; the hollow soared forward, spreading out both of it's wings from it's body, and letting the razors fly. Hitsugaya cocked his sword, and in one large swipe, sliced every feather in half- and they fell to the ground, useless. The hollow only scoffed, obviously angry that he couldn't kill it's prey in one shot, and darted behind Hitsugaya in a flash, setting off another row of feathers, which Hitsugaya dodged with time to spare.

"Hmm... You're better than I thought," the hollow muttered thoughtfully as he glanced at Hitsugaya, who was unharmed and unaffected.

"Oh, really?" Hitsugaya muttered as he stared the hollow down with sharp emerald eyes, realizing it was the first time he has spoken the whole fight. He took a step towards the hollow, and then another, before shun-po-ing right in front of him. "Thank you, but I hardly take that as a compliment, coming from you." There was no time for the hollow to even think about dodging as Hyorinmaru sliced through his body, evaporating him in one shot.

Silently, Hitsugaya sheathed Hyorinmaru on his back and stepped lightly on the grass over to the fallen shinigami who was laying on her stomach. Kneeling down beside her, he gently placed a hand on her shoulder and shook it.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked, not sure if she could hear him.

A groan escaped from the woman, muffled by the grass pressed against her face. Weakly, she pushed herself up off the ground with her arms and sat upright.

Hitsugaya's mouth fell open.

Before him sat a very busty Matsumoto. Her strawberry hair was pulled up in a half-bun and her trademark pink scarf was laying on the ground a few feet away from her, and had most likely been knocked off in the scuffle, as her sword lay near it. A wound on her forehead had blood trickling down her brow to her jawbone, and dripping onto her uniform from her chin. She blinked wearily, obviously trying to keep her vision steady.

"Tai... cho?" She murmured shakily, raising a hand to her brow.

"Matsumoto..." Hitsugaya sighed, astonished. Quickly, he snatched her hand away before she could touch her wound with her dirty hand.

"Here," he murmured, his head clearing from the shock, "Let me help you." Matsumoto had no choice to oblige. Laying her down in the frosty grass before she fainted again, he grabbed her scarf, ripped it in half with his teeth, and used a half to clean up the blood before preforming kido on the wound. Once it was as healed as it was going to get, he took the other half of the scarf and wrapped it tightly around her forehead as a bandage until she could have it properly dressed. Matsumoto's bright eyes opened clearly, and she stood up with only a small wobble. Hitsugaya stood up next to her and a small, awkward silence filled in the space between them before Matsumoto looked over at her captain.

"Ne, Taicho?" She asked, with questioning eyes. Hitsugaya turned his eyes to look at her, waiting for her to finish. A bright grin filled her face as she exclaimed, "You've grown!"

Hitsugaya glared at her. It was his own stupid fault for thinking that maybe Matsumoto had something reasonable to say, even though he was now taller than her.

Hitsugaya let out a breath of laughter, "Well... it's been thirty years, Matsumoto. Things change."

She nodded solemnly. "So, how's the living world treating you, Taicho?"

"It's good. I own a law firm."

"That's nice. ... What's a law firm?"

"Don't ask."

"Okay."

"How's life in Soul Society?"

"It's good, I suppose. I have to do all the paperwork now since you left."

"Oh really?"

"It's awful."

Hitsugaya laughed, remembering that now that he was gone, she was in charge of the tenth division- which included paperwork duties. He was sure she would have beaten him over the head with a large, blunt object the first chance she got... but the awkward small-talk they were having was almost as bad. More silence quivered in between the pair as the stars shone brightly overhead as it grew chilly. Well, chillier than it had been all day, in the freezing December weather. Hitsugaya took a step forward, his foot crunching the layer of ice blanketing the curved blades of grass, for once, there by means of nature- not by his frosty riatsu.

"Well I..." He started, but didn't know how to finish. Letting his words echo through the frozen night air he turned to Matsumoto, "...I better go back."

A flash of sadness dimmed her bright eyes as a pathetic excuse for a smile traced her lips. "Of course, Taicho..." she murmured, the words leaving her mouth as white plumes of warm breath in the cold night.

"Right. Well... I'll be seeing you sometime, then." He spoke with a sharp nod which she softly returned. Turning, he began to walk away, feeling as though he had just opened up the drawer of his old life happily only to slam it shut and lock it again. It was a feeling of great loss, but there was no point in drawing out the inevitability of their good-bye all night.

"Taicho...?"

Stopping in his tracks, he turned his head over his shoulder at his lieutenant, listening.

A bit nervously, Matsumoto brushed a strand of strawberry hair behind her ear before meeting his eyes with a sly smile of pure happiness. "You know, Taicho... New Years is coming up in just a few days..." She trailed off, the sly smile only growing into a glowing smile of her full-wattage.

--

_This is too strange... _

Hitsugaya sat down timidly behind his old desk, in his old office, in his old home. He ran his hands over the familiar wooden desk and he glanced up to find Matsumoto smiling lightly at him.

"You really look like you belong there now, Taicho." she smirked.

"Was that another height inference?"

She only smiled brightly, knowing full and well Hitsugaya now had more than a few inches over her.

Turning his head, he glanced out the window beside his desk. Even the trees were the same height. Had anything changed in soul society?

_I'm pretty sure that by the time I get back to the living world Akito will have changed my office around completely... _He winced at the thought of his over-active friend taking his toll on his office without permission.

"So," Matsumoto started, "How long are you planning on staying, Taicho?"

"For New Years. You know that." He snapped back lightly.

"I know that... But there's no point in going back to the living world until the third. Nothing is open or anything, so you can stay here until then, right?"

Hitsugaya thought that over. He had planned on leaving right after the first. It was the Twenty-Seventh. That would have been five days. To the third... he sighed as he shut his eyes, that would be too long. Even to the first is long... but to the third... there's no way he could avoid her for that long...

"Oh come _on, _Taicho!" Matsumoto pleaded, "We haven't seen you in thirty years! I don't think a few days will kill you!"

"Matsumoto... I... I can't..." He tried to find some liable excuse for having to leave.

"Oh really? And what reason would that be?" she asked as she crossed her arms across her chest challengingly.

"I... I have work. And... friends..." he floundered. They weren't exactly lies... it was true, he did have paperwork that he was going to do over his time off... and Akito! Akito is a friend! ... right?

Matsumoto arched her brows. "You have ... friends?" She asked slowly, in a disbelieving manner.

"Y-Yes..." He squeaked. The look he was receiving was a little scary...

"Are any of these friends... _girl_ friends?" She leaned forward over his desk, determined on getting the truth out.

"Uh..." Hitsugaya stuttered as he leaned back in his chair, away from the glaring Matsumoto. Well... he had various female lawyers in his company that he didn't mind talking to... at the company holiday party, that is. Akito's many secretaries? Nah. They were basically models trained to use a fax machine. Oh! There was Yumi! She was a friend...

"_Yes?_" Matsumoto loomed.

"Not really?" He squeaked, and wondered just why he made it a question.

Matsumoto examined his face closely for a moment before deciding that his answer was acceptable enough for her. "Alright, Taicho... I'll trust you. But you better never forget that _I'm _your best friend... and as for your heart, well that belongs to Hinam... " she trailed off into a silence at the look on his face that clearly told her of her slip-up. The glittering amusement that was once in his emerald eyes faded into a deep sadness as his eyes drifted from hers and stared at the far wall as If he was in a bit of a daze.

"Taicho... I- I'm sorry... it just slipped-"

"-It's fine." He cut her off sharply, still staring at the wall. "It's fine." He repeated, much softer the second time. His eyes lowered before he blinked them back up to hers with a forced smile, meant to reassure her. The subject of Hinamori had been skillfully avoided by the both of them, but it hung heavily in the air between them. The moment Matsumoto mentioned her name, the air seemed to tremble as the delicate thoughts of her rushed back into his mind, awakening the healing scars and fading bruises once more. If just her name could do that... how much would the sight of her kill him...?

"Do you want to be here, Taicho?" Matsumoto asked with a concerned and almost guilty look on her face.

"Of course, Matsumoto. Why?"

"Well... I don't know. I guess I just realized how much Hinamori still hurts you. And I'm sure being in the same place as her isn't as calming as being by yourself in the living world..."

Hitsugaya grinned, "It's okay, Matsumoto. I'm okay. I just haven't thought about her for awhile, that's all. So why don't you tell me about how she's been, ne?" He feigned a curious grin as his insides twisted nervously at the thought of her... again. If this was going to happen the whole time he was here there's no way his intestines could survive.

"Oh... well, um... " Matsumoto thought carefully over everything about Hinamori, not wanting to say the wrong thing- again. "Well, She's not the lieutenant for the fifth division anymore."

"What?" Hitsugaya's head jerked up from the spot on his desk he was staring intently at. "So what squad _is _she a lieutenant for?"

Matsumoto's eyes widened at the sudden interest in her captain. "Uh... well, she isn't a lieutenant anymore. Period."

"What?!" Hitsugaya shouted, in a much louder voice than the first 'what' had been in. Standing up abruptly, he sent his chair tipping over behind him.

"Well, Um- now she-" She was cut off by Hitsugaya flying out the door of his office, in the direction of the fifth division office.

"Taicho!" She called after him, before sighing huffily and taking off after him.

--

The air whipped past his face as he leapt from one tiled roof to another, going as fast as he could to the fifth division.

_If she is no longer the lieutenant... then that must mean there's at least a new captain, let alone a new lieutenant. I wonder who this new captain is... and why they didn't want her anymore... _

A flicker of anger burned inside him at the thought of this new captain just throwing her out. He bit his lip to keep himself steady as he landed silently on the balcony surrounding the fifth division offices. Resting his hand on the red railing, warmed by the afternoon sun, he stood quietly to the side, examining the small group clustered in front of the fifth division doors a ways away.

The first thing he caught sight of was Ichigo Kurosaki's orange hair and tall figure. He was standing there with a bored expression on his face. Beside him was the petite figure of Rukia. She was smiling and laughing as the sun glistened off of something gold on her arm. Squinting to get a better view of what it was, the breath caught in Hitsugaya's throat as he realized it was the lieutenant badge for the fifth division. His hand gripped the railing tighter in anger until his knuckles turned white. But that was forgotten once he laid his eyes on the third person standing there. He was facing their back... but the essence of elegance and beauty flowed from her. Silky auburn hair dripped midway down her back and flowed over her shoulders. In the sunlight, it turned a golden red color unlike any other. Her shinigami uniform had been altered to resemble the style of Nemu Kurotsuchi, with a short, thigh-skimming skirt instead of the traditional billowy pants. Her skirt, however, flared out lightly from her thighs and moved softly in the breeze. Attached to her back was her sword, carried in the same fashion Hitsugaya carried Hyorinmaru, her sword crossed over her back just underlining the fifth division's marking on her back.

This was... the new captain. The person who had thrown his dear childhood friend to the side.

The white haori was just a bit shorter than her black skirt and was tied tightly at her waist with a red sash that emphasized her slimness. Her sword was tied into the red sash, resulting in a large red bow on her back. She carried herself with an air of delicateness and elegance, but that she should not be taken lightly. Her moves were graceful as she talked lightly with her friends, her arms clad in long white sleeves moving fluently.

Obviously... she was the beauty queen of Soul Society.

And she was so... familiar. But it seemed as though she didn't belong in this world...

Just then, Ichigo caught sight of Hitsugaya over the captain's auburn head and stared at him, shocked, before nudging Rukia next to him who followed his gaze and wore a shocked look of her own. But Hitsugaya wasn't paying attention. Instead, he was staring at the fifth division captain with one name running through his head... How could he have ever forgotten? She was beautiful... elegant...

_Turn around, _he begged silently in his mind, _Turn around... Yumi. _

As if she could hear his thoughts, she slowly turned her head over her shoulder to follow the gaze of her two friends.

He looked into her eyes for a brief moment before his heart froze.

A hand grabbed his collar from behind and tugged him around the corner as Rukia distracted her captain before she could fully register the sight of Hitsugaya.

Around the corner, Matsumoto watched her captain lean against a wall, his eyes wide, staring into nowhere.

"Taicho... " she trailed off, not knowing what to say.

He didn't hear her.

Instead, the image of the new captain was blazed into his mind. Her eyes, her face, her lips... especially her eyes.

They weren't sapphire blue.

They were something much more dangerous. Something much more rare, true, and heartbreakingly beautiful.

They were ruby red.

--A/N--

Yay! I finished chapter thirteen! -cheers-

Hitsugaya has returned back to soul society, thinking that everything is the same, but no no no! Hinamori is the new captain! -claps- And she's pretty damn gorgeous while she's at it!

It really excites me that she's a captain. One of my friends told me that she's so weak, so there's no way she could be a captain when I was bouncing ideas off him. But I called him a lair and told him that she totally could. And I'm always right.

Thanks for reading and reviewing! I really appreciate it. Especially to Snowy Peach Tsubasa, who's reviews I adore and look forward to. So thank you to everyone who reviews, you guys keep me going.


	14. Not Again

**Remembering Winter**

Chapter 14: Not Again...

--A/N--

Shame on me, I know, I know. I left you all hanging a bit while I took off on a hiatus.

Sorry... Really, I am. I wrote a page the day that I posted chapter 13... and then I just lost it. Then I got all caught up in school and friends and a relationship... writing took the back burner. I'm sorry, really- I am. I hope to make it up to all of you with this chapter.

_Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. If I did, I would be more popular than Hannah Montana. (Who, no offense, I hate)_

_--_

A whispering breeze echoed through the sleeping Seiretei, bringing with it the deep blanket of night dotted with blazing stars. A symphony of crickets preformed in the tall grass beyond the small patio Hitsugaya stood on, staring up at the night sky. It felt so good to be home, yet so strange, too. He was unaccustomed to his shinigami uniform, and gladly changed into a white button-up and a pair of jeans once he went to his quarters for the night. Human clothes are pretty nice, he figured, as he un-buttoned yet another shirt button, leaving only two of the six done in the lower middle of his shirt. He ran a hand through his white hair and sighed contentedly as he leaned his elbows on the railing in front of him.

"Mind if I join you?" A sweet voice asked from behind, laced with a hint of seduction- as if it was there without her even knowing it.

He stood upright as he turned to greet the woman behind him. Hinamori stood in the doorway that lead from his bedroom to the small balcony with a light smile teasing her red lips. Her hair was tied up in a loose bun with a pair of chopsticks with strands that had escaped the embrace framing her face. A sheer, short robe in soft ivory donned her petite figure and left little to the imagination.

His heart skipped multiple beats as her bare feet padded forward until she stood beside him at the railing, the moonlight glowing on her pale skin. A smile blossomed on her full red lips as she caught him still staring at her.

"I'll take that as a no, Hitsugaya-Taicho." she murmured with that seductive tone again.

He gave off a breath of laughter as he averted his eyes away from her and up to the sky once more. "How could I possibly mind your company, Hinamori?" He asked with amusement as he turned to face her, leaning haphazardly on the raining with his left elbow.

She let her grin grow into a delicate smile as she brushed a strand of auburn out of her eyes and turned to face the leaning Hitsugaya. Smirking devilishly up at him from underneath her long eyelashes she laughed, "That's Hinamori-_Taicho_ to you." before looking straight into his cool eyes with her ruby ones, the largest eyes he had ever seen, glittering in laughter and starlight.

Hitsugaya couldn't help but laugh at his overused quote. "Hinamori... I've missed you." He smiled lightly down at her.

"And I you, Toshiro." She replied softly, "I never forgot you... and I've been counting the days until I saw you again..."

A soft breeze ran it's fingers over them, Hinamori's loosened hairs dancing in the slight whisper, her robe flowing along her things. Her sweet, natural scent waltzed along with the breeze, drawing Hitsugaya in more than he thought possible. Her petite body was only a few painful inches away...

Another warm, dusk breeze took a few more strands of auburn hair along with it, letting them gently waver over her cheeks. A playful smile graced her lips as she reached her hands up behind her head, pulling the two chopsticks smoothly out of her hair, letting her auburn tresses, still damp and wavy from her bath, fall in one tempting, flowing movement. The soothing scent of her lavender shampoo awoke his scenes, all alive and burning for her.

Reaching out with a sure hand, Hitsugaya captured a few strands that were dancing in the breeze between his fingers and tucked them lightly behind her ear, just barely grazing her warm cheek as he did so- delighting in the rose blush that crept into her cheeks.

She was so... so breathtakingly beautiful... It pained him to not touch her.

As he slowly drew his hand away, so close to cradling her smooth cheek in it's palm, he felt a great loss at the warmth he was leaving behind. Ruby eyes met his own and in her eyes was no longer glittering amusement but painful desire, burning... _begging _to be released. His hand froze and lowered subconsciously as he looked at her parted lips, red and pouting, heavy breathing the only thing escaping between them. His fingertips found the entrancingly soft and warm skin of her neck, sheltered by the cool curtain of her hair. A small tremor ran through her body at his touch and he found a devilish smile playing on his features at the deeper blush in her cheeks. The rest of his hand found the softness of her neck and she welcomed it, closing her eyes in desire and tilting her head back, exposing more of that beautiful milky flesh...

Slowly, he moved his hand to the back of her neck, letting his thumb trace circles along the soft skin underneath her ear. Her eyes opened, still heavy lidded and shimmering with the dull throb of passion. Closing the space between their bodies, aching to be fused together, he bent over her slowly, letting the flames of desire grow unbearable.

Her moist lips parted and her eyes fell shut again, her long lashes caressing her cheeks, awaiting his lips against hers. Taking only a brief moment, he stared at her beautiful face, then only face he saw anymore- all the others were dull and boring in comparison, lacking her radiant light, before letting his own eyes slide shut and closing the gap between their panting lips...

His eyes flew open, groping the darkness for an answer. Head-rushing heartbeats rapidly sped flame-hot blood searing through his veins as his lungs clawed the air for more. Sitting up in bed, he let his eyes adjust to the darkness and the... lack of Hinamori.

Sighing a shallow breath he rubbed a shaky hand against his clammy forehead. _Just another dream... when will these stop? _

In fact, the dreams had become a common occurrence since he ventured into her territory, waking him wide awake in the middle of the night in a cold sweat and with a breathing rate of someone who had just ran a few hundred miles. It was completely... _ridiculous! _

For as long as he was away from her, he refused to think of her- to allow his conscious _or _subconscious mind to ever think of her. Her face... her voice... even her name. As soon as he took one look at her all of that crumbled away. His conscious mind, suddenly took every chance it got to throw an image of her beautiful eyes up. Not wanting to feel left out, his dreams had taken over his night with more thoughts of her.

_As if seeing her during the day isn't bad enough..._ He grumbled to himself as he let his feet slide off the side of the bed, to the cool floor beneath. Rubbing his eyes he yawned as he decided he wouldn't be able to get any more sleep for awhile. Bare feet padded on the wood floor as he walked to the patio he had been on moments before, in his dream. Pulling open the sliding lattice door, he stepped outside into the cool night air clad in only sleep pants.

In his dream, the night seemed to glow with intense beauty. Radiant light tattooed shadows on the ground from the moon, and fireflies waltzed around in the air, creating a romantic glow all around.

Now... the night just seemed... lonely. All it was... was black.

Sighing, he leaned his elbows against the railing and trailed his hands through his hair.

"I hate this..." he murmured, just loud enough for him himself to hear.

The hard truth was that this was killing him. The intense close contact with Hinamori was too much to bear. Not that he was always around him, in fact, whenever she entered the room he left before she could even notice his presence. He hadn't looked her in the eye since that day... nor had he been that close.

At the same time- he could hardly bear to be away from her. A false sense of calm fell over him the moment he realized she was alive and happy. The whole time he was away he told himself that as long as she was happy, he would be happy. She seemed happy, so why wasn't he? Sure, he was relieved that she was okay- at first. But soon apprehension gripped him tightly and he felt himself waiting for something bad to happen. What, exactly, he wasn't sure. Mixed emotions caused him to keep a sharp eye out for her; first to run from her, than to guard her from anything that could happen.

"Not again," He resolved sternly, standing up straight and eyes glistening in determination, "I will not let her down again."

With that, he walked back into his room and crawled back under his covers- already expecting to be woken up in an hour or two.

--A/N--

I know it's short. But I didn't want to make it too long since I'm sure a few of you will have to go back and re-read chapter 13... So yeah...

I'm sorry. Really. I'm really going to try to get chapter 15 out soon. I have a break from school, so lets see how much writing I can get done in that time. haha

Thanks for reading! I love all of you!

Comment?

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Smack that review button, sugar. I always hollah back. XD

Thanks again.


	15. The Prince of the Party

**Remembering Winter**

Chapter 15: The Prince of the Party

--A/N--

**I'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRY!**

I spent a fair majority of my life writing papers for IB English and the moment that I thought about this little project I wanted to throw up... so, I'm sorry...

I'm the worst author ever... . I'm pretty sure this one is the latest one. Ever. I'm sorry... carrying on...

Wow. Fifteen chapters, and the ideas keep flowing. I'm somewhat astonished.

I have a break in my schedule so these days have been devoted to writing. More specifically, they have been devoted to you. Yes, you. I would have given up a long time ago if I didn't have such awesome support from you! Thank you so much!

And now that my Oprah-sob-story is done, on with the chapter!

_Disclaimer: Don't own bleach. Vampire Knight on the other hand... _

_--_

One thing was for sure:

Shinigami knew how to party. Hard.

Colored lanterns reached up to the starry, night sky providing an exotic and romantic light over the gathering. Music raged and alcohol was consumed. The both, combined with a dance floor, brought about an interesting experience for some shinigami, and quite a show for others. Drab shinigami uniforms were put away for a night and instead, party-goers donned their fancy evening dress. Some in traditional Japanese kimonos, others in flashy modern designs with flowing skirts and low-cut sequined tops, or a classic tuxedo. Hair was done up to perfection, and makeup was shadowing eyes and reddening lips.

It was a night to remember for all shinigami, and they would. It was the one day out of the year they got to forget their duties and worries, and simply party all night to welcome the new year together. (While lower-level shinigami were protecting the living world, of course. But they were expected to knock down a few and catch a few fireworks while shun-po'ing through the night air.) As for the more fortunate, a magnificent party was set up in the massive garden behind the first division's headquarters. As the party progressed, higher-ranked shinigami elegantly descended the stairs from the building to the garden. All who were already at the party stopped and watched them in awe until they reached the floor and began greeting others around them.

It all seemed pointless to Hitsugaya who sat himself at a table far from the noise of the party, underneath a twinkle-lighted tree. Unlike the others at the party, he didn't dress up much, only wearing his living-world favorites: a pair of faded jeans, and a black button-up shirt with some buttons undone around the collar and bottom, adding a more-than casual ambiance. A mixed drink was his date for the night as his eyes gazed over the couples twirling together under the garden lights. Ichigo was gazing down at a lovely Rukia dressed in a flowing white gown and sparkling heels that brought her up to the nape of Ichigo's neck. A very intoxicated Shunsui twirled a blushing and protesting (but only slightly) Nanao onto the dance floor in her sleeveless ice blue dress that went to her knees. A less-than conservative Orihime dragged a blushing Ishida around with her boobs nearly falling out of her sequined maroon dress while a fancied Yumichika and a casual Ikkaku stood by a table as Yumichika commented on everyone's dress, and Ikkaku threatened to go after a few people with his precious stick. (Swords were not allowed at the party. Especially when there is alcohol included.)

It was quite a night for everyone.

Except Hitsugaya. Who spent his time in the shadows, wishing himself transparent.

It worked.

For mostly everyone, that is.

As he sat at his exclusive corner table, watching the royalty of the night descend the stairs to the party, a busty redhead caught his eye and ran over to him. Her deep sapphire dress hugged every one of her curves and dragged behind her on the ground.

"Taicho!" she smiled at him once she reached his table.

He offered her an obviously fake smile as a greeting. "You look nice".

She twirled around once, modeling her gown. "You like it?"

He nodded.

"You better!" she said with exasperation in her voice, "You would not believe how long it took me to get into this thing! And then my hair... "

It was then that Hitsugaya noticed that Matsumoto's hair was up in a bun and curled trails were framing her face and painted blue eyelids. She really did look lovely.

"... And you would not believe how many people still haven't arrived!"

Hitsugaya attempted to look surprised, however he wasn't. He had been there all night- he knew who wasn't there.

_She_ wasn't there.

He had been waiting all night in scared anticipation for that one glimpse of her as she floated down the stairs into the crowd of staring people who adored her.

And a man who would have the honor of holding her hand this night. But just once, for one mere moment, he wanted to wish she was walking to him. However much that might hurt... he wanted to feel pure happiness for one flash of a moment.

Embarrassed for dazing off in front of her, his eyes jerked up to Matsumoto, who's face had turned melancholy.

"Gin isn't here, either... obviously." she murmured softly as she gave him a half-smile.

He nodded, wondering which was worse: to be forgotten, or to be left behind. They sounded the same, but they were oh so different.

"I'll be right back," Matsumoto murmured as she headed in the direction of the bar, "I need a stiff one to make it through this night."

Hitsugaya's broken barricade built itself back up again as Matsumoto sauntered over to the bar, her flaunted curves meeting more than a few eyes on the way.

Hitsugaya admired her. She was able to let herself be happy even when she was truly far from it inside. Gin was her... her Hinamori. And he sure as hell knew how badly it hurt to loose Hinamori.

It made every breath a struggle. Every heartbeat forced. Every smile fake. Every night treacherous.

"_Oh shut up, Hitsugaya." _An icy voice called to him from within.

"Shut up yourself, Hyorinmaru." He murmured in his mind, scolding the dragon.

"_I'm not the one who takes every possible situation to pout about something that I brought upon myself. I admit, I do miss Hinamori, more specifically, Tobiume, but do you see me moping around like an iceberg? I think not!"_

Hitsugaya rolled his eyes and let out an angry breath. Knowing all of those things was one thing, but being told them by an inanimate object was another. Shoving the dragon out of his mind, he finished off his drink in one large gulp before reaching into his jeans for his cigarettes.

Just as he was about to light the end of his cigarette, the flamboyant music that had been playing changed into something delicate and soft, and to him, heartbreakingly sad. Just then, the flowing ruby curtain separating the division's room, to the flight of stairs, to the party, confidently opened as a couple with linked arms walked through it and stood briefly on the top of the stairs. The man delicately clasped her hand in his own, and gently bowed to her as he placed a kiss on the top of her hand, spreading a smile across her lips.

Hitsugaya shut his eyes in pain as Hinamori's free hand reached up to the man's face and rested her palm against his face, smiling her bright smile up at him.

She looked... beautiful. So breathtakingly beautiful that the crowd of shinigami still stared up at her, either in jealousy or awe. Her plum colored dress set her milky skin on fire as it hugged her form tightly before flowing out slightly at her feet. The sweetheart strapless neckline revealed her chest modestly, and a silver necklace sparkled around her neck. She was so simple compared to all of the shinigami who had layered on the sparkling dresses and makeup, yet, the most gorgeous of them all. Her hair was pulled back into a bun held in place with silver clips, and her sparkling eyes held a bit of smokiness above them. But that was all. And that was enough to draw the entire crowd into her as she descended the stairs with elegant poise.

Hitsugaya rose to his feet before catching himself. Who was he kidding? She wasn't descending those stairs to meet him, to slide her hand in his and be pulled into his desiring arms. Even though he wished it were true with every fiber of his being...

No, she reached the floor and smiled briefly to everyone as she received compliments of adoration before turning to... to him.

And really, who the hell was he, anyway?

Hitsugaya stared him down, trying to remember the face he might have met long ago.

_Let's see... long, shaggy blonde hair... silver eyes... tall... _

Looking at the man, Hitsugaya had no idea who he was. At first glance he thought it might have been Kira... but, hell, Kira wasn't that hot. And this guy... well, he was something. His bangs were carelessly hanging in front of his eyes in a manner that would make any girl with properly functioning hormones swoon. And even under his white shirt, Hitsugaya could tell that that guy had muscles, proving that even the toughest guys honored the man.

Just then a tipsy Matsumoto sauntered back to Hitsugaya's table after having a few too many drinks at the bar, and still counting.

She followed his eyes to the blondie who led Hinamori around the dance floor and turned back to him with a knowing expression.

"So I see you've met the prince, eh?" She slurred out.

Hitsugaya snorted, "Yeah, Princey there is some serious eye candy I'm sure."

"Oh you have no idea..."

Hitsugaya looked up at her to find her staring off at the man with stars in her eyes. Grabbing her drink out of her hand, he gulped it down and slammed the empty glass on the table, knocking her out of her daze.

"But," she continued, "We all know that he's hands-off. Has been ever since he laid eyes on Hinamori. That's her with him... over there..." She pointed an unsteady finger at the direction of a tree, but Hitsugaya decided not to correct his drunk friend who assumed he was new to this place, as she was known to be violent when she was drunk.

"You see- we've all been placing bets on when he's going to pop the question to her."

The drink that Hitsugaya just downed threatened to come back up as he heard those words.

"R-really now...? Whys that?" He muttered out.

Matsumoto gave him an astonished look, "Well just look at them!"

Hitsugaya looked, and decided that she no longer had any idea who she was talking to. Because really, why would she make him look at this?

Hinamori's and the prince's eyes had locked and she wrapped her arms around his neck as she stood on her tiptoes, laughing lightly before sealing her lips with his.

Hitsugaya didn't care to see anymore, and he turned his head back to Matsumoto. "I see."

Matsumoto gave him an over-exaggerated nod.

"So... why should she... be with him...? Is he a captain, a lieutenant?"

Matsumoto shook her head. "Nope! Better!"

What was better than a captain? "Then what?" Hitsugaya inquired.

"Well, he's a prince!" She exclaimed.

"Yes, I get that- but what _is _he despite a pretty face?"

Matsumoto turned to him with a serious expression. "No, Taicho, he's royalty."

He stared blankly at her for a moment before looking back to the man who held Hitsugaya's world in his hands.

"... You have got to be fucking kidding me."

--A/N--

DONE!

I'm so proud of myself. *tear*

I really am sorry that this is so late. I have a boyfriend now. And he's pretty needy and requires much of my time. ... And I just made him sound like a dog.

But I had time today! It's... snowing. Heavily. So... yeah. *huddles up in North Star's sweatshirt* it's so cold...

Anyway, I'm sorry for dropping the F-bomb in the last line, and if I offended anyone by it- but it totally deserved it. =]

And basically, if you don't like it- don't read it. (thats pretty much a warning for later chapters.)

Thanks for reading and reviewing! I love you guys! 3


	16. Clean Slate

**Remembering Winter**

Chapter 16: Clean Slate

--A/N--

I have great news!!!!

Your beloved Ichigosmothie has acquired her very own laptop! You know what that means?

THATS RIGHT! FASTER UPDATES!

I can take this puppy with me EVERYWHERE and that means I can write... ANYWHERE!

I named it Toshiro. It's a Toshiba (Toshiro... Toshiba... hahaha) And it has a turquoise cover- the color of Toshiro's eyes! I felt so inspired!

**Note:** My boyfriend insists I give him credit for helping me acquire this laptop. He fixed it and stuff like that. Yeah.

Okay kiddies! We're switching it up this time around with a point of view change! Thats right, say good-bye to our depressed little Hitsugaya and say hello to our happy-go-lucky (and mostly delusional) Hinamori! -excitement!-

So without further ado... chapter 16!

And really, if you ignore my author's notes... you're missing out. I'm funny. ...And stuff...

**Disclaimer: **I don't own bleach. I have a black cat named Yourichi, though... ^__^

--

His hand was warm.

That was all Hinamori could think about as they walked along the inner halls of the first division hand-in-hand. Her other hand clasped her small silver clutch with the outline of a dragon carved onto the smooth surface. She nodded with a smile to those who acknowledged her as they walked past, which was many. The party had to be moved inside since the moment Hinamori and her date reached the floor of the party an icy breeze swirled around- forcing everyone to migrate indoors.

"Hinamori?" A butterfly-inducing voice reached to her.

"Hmn?" she murmured as she turned from her thoughts to her love, Masahiko Adachi. His angel-sculpted face shown down to her, love flowing through his quicksilver eyes. She had never before felt the rush of pure adoration with anyone except him when her name grazed his lips.

"You were daydreaming again," He laughed as she turned a little pink in the cheeks, knowing she had just done it again.

"Anyway... what would please you this evening, my love?" Murmured her prince.

She shrugged her bare shoulders. "I'm not sure. I was so excited to have the party... but since it's so strangely cold suddenly I don't think it's possible to have it anymore..." Her crestfallen voice got his attention in full as he slipped his arm around her waist and led her to the large room where the party-goers were grouped towards the walls talking. He turned her so she was facing him and pulled her close to him by his hand resting on her slender waist. His other hand still held her hand and he held it tightly.

A bright smile welcomed her lips and reached up to her plum eyes as she understood and slipped her free arm up to his shoulder.

He gave her a quick wink and they were off.

There was no music, no beat, no other couples... but they danced.

Moving along the floor in graceful circles and dizzying twirls, Hinamori threw her head back and laughed out of pure joy.

Everyone in the room had stopped and watched the couple's graceful floating across the floor. Hinamori's plum dress swirled about her feet as she was twirled about to their own music.

Soon, the musicians that were performing outside set up and began playing music that matched Adachi and Hinamori's movements. That was when Ichigo led his violet-eyed Rukia onto the floor. After that, it was a steady downpour of couples joining in on the dance that Hinamori and Adachi had created.

It was exactly the evening she had planned in her mind all along.

Once the party was, once again, in full swing, Adachi led his precious captain off the floor and handed her a glass of sparkling champagne. Smiling, she took it from his hand and sipped it generously.

"Have I managed to scare your frown away, my Hinamori?" His shimmering eyes asked her.

Smiling, she nodded. "Absolutely," she replied as she stood up on her tiptoes and kissed him lightly on the smooth skin of his cheek. "Thank you so very much, Adachi-Sama."

They stood there for awhile, enjoying the sight of their friends having the fun they created, when Byakuya Kuchiki sauntered to them in his usual ambiance of power before bowing slightly to Adachi.

"Adachi Masahiko-Denka," He murmured as he bowed, Adachi's full name and title.

"Hello Byakuya Kuchiki-Sama" Adachi greeted back in his friendly way with a large smile. Hinamori could tell that Byakuya was slightly upset in the fact that he was not worthy of the 'Denka' title since he was nobility; strong enough as it was, but he was not royalty. Hinamori was instructed that since the prince was her "boyfriend", she could no longer use 'Denka' in Adachi's name.

Un-noticed to the party, a Hell Butterfly fluttered in through an open window and drew itself to Hinamori-Taicho's riatsu. Not before long, it's delicate winds landed on her bare shoulder and gave her a message:

_Hinamori-Taicho, You are needed in Captain Commander Yamamoto's office immediately. Please arrive in haste, as the information is important. That is all._

She watched the wings flutter away and a small frown crossed her face, earning a concerned look from Adachi. At the notice of his concern, she changed her frown for a smile.

"It's nothing, I just need to go see the Captain Commander for a moment- the message claimed it was something very important and that I'm needed urgently. I'll be back before you know it!"

He nodded, and a strand of his blonde hair fell into his eyes and he impatiently brushed it away. "I'll walk you there."

But Hinamori shook her head no, "I'll only be a minute, so stay here and enjoy the party." With that, she off to hear her orders.

---

Tentatively, she wandered down the darkened halls, still echoing the noise from the party behind her even after all light had vanished. The only light in the halls were candles hanging on the wall in steel cases, providing a dull flicker that sent a shiver through her body. It wasn't like she hadn't been down there before- she had actually spent nearly a bit of everyday wandering down to a captain's meeting in the first division. But it was always daylight... and her fellow captains were always with her... Right now, it seemed a bit to ominous for her. She wished slightly that she had taken Adachi up on his offer to walk her to the office of Yamamoto-Taicho, at least then she might have someone to talk to. What was this sudden requirement of her, anyway?

"I know I did all my paperwork..." She murmured to herself, "And none of my squad members have gotten into any trouble lately... that I know."

Maybe they wanted to talk to her about Adachi-Sama. But why not ask Adachi himself? Of course, since she had been with Adachi for a good twelve years, she knew much about him as it was. Being a twelve year long relationship, many wondered when the two would be married. The thought had never really crossed Hinamori's mind of getting _married_ to Adachi, or married to _anyone _for that matter. She had obtained her position as Captain of the fifth squad twenty years ago, after a long recovery under Unohana-Taicho's wing. Apparently there was an accident a long time ago involving her and her former captain. No one ever spoke much about the captain, though.

She was told a long time ago, when she first woke up from a long, cleansing sleep, that her captain and herself had endured a serious situation similar to the one of Kaien Shiba-Dono, and his wife. And... Hinamori was the only survivor.

Thankfully, she remembered none of that.

But sadly... along with that- she remembered nothing of her previous captain.

From the saddened eyes of her friends and subordinates- she could tell that the death of her captain was no easy task to overcome for anyone in Soul Society, and she was sure that it would have been just as hard- if not more for her; being the lieutenant.

She often asked questions to herself about her captain- as If she knew the answers. But she always came up blank and it frustrated her into anger. She just didn't understand why this whole part of her life was suddenly... Gone. Forgotten. Erased.

And somewhere... somewhere small, in the back of her mind... she felt a small tinge that something... something else, even more important was lost as well... forever.

_But never mind that... _she thought, brushing the thought away quickly. Whenever she tried prying that information out she ended up with a massive headache and her breathing would quicken to anger abnormal pace... not to mention her heartbeat. Her hands would get clammy, and sweat would bead on her forehead as the world swam around her.

She never got very far thinking about that.

Then... Adachi came into her life. He cured the headaches, the faint feeling, and led her into the right direction: into his arms. He was able to comfort her with ease, and for that- she was eternally grateful to him. Through all her hard times, and all her good ones too- he was there, by her side, protecting her.

He was a shinigami, like herself. He carried a Zanpakutou with dignity and ease, and knew how to use it when needed. He was offered a captain's position, but denied it due to his other duties as royalty.

However, he made one exception.

When Hinamori was still sickly and unable to care for her squad- as a Lieutenant- he took over the captain's position of the fifth squad. Knowing nothing about the functions of Soul Society from a captain's perspective- he fumbled around a bit, in a graceful way. … If that was possible. In the end, he was able to make some very good decisions that brought change not only to the fifth squad, but all of Soul Society.

Once Unohana deemed her well, and allowed her to go back to her position, she was well aware that that there was a new leader of her squad, yes, but she didn't expect..._ him._ Him... in all of his blonde-haired, blade-eyed glory. He was... beautiful. And she... was a mess. Both mentally and physically. Her long hair was waving slightly around her shoulders as a fourth squad member handed her the light blue bun cover she used to wear and she looked at it as though it was a foreign object. The trembling nurse mentioned briefly that it was a gift given to her by her past captain and she picked up the piece of silk and ribbon and ran it through her fingers, studying it, before setting it back down on the tray the nurse was holding.

"S_orry,"_ she had said _"But it's time to start fresh."_ she finished with a smile at the awed nurse, who took the tray away from her and left Hinamori with her hair down. Which felt better than tying it back, anyway.

Of course, on the means of looking professional... was another story. The one thought that ran through her mind as she stood, gaping, in the doorway of her division's office was that she wished she had that scrap of silk back to at least make _somewhat_ of a good impression.

However, that was lost as soon as she noticed _he_ was wearing the captain's cloak for _her_ squad. A thin stream of anger worked it's way from her heart into her veins at the sight of some... some outsider as her captain.

Instantly, the man got up from behind his desk and smiled genuinely to her as he walked towards her, a smile which she sarcastically returned. Gently, he took her hand and bowed before her, which earned him and arched eyebrow.

"Momo Hinamori Fuku-Taicho, I presume?" he spoke with his voice of angels as he straightened, still holding her hand in his.

That broke her temper. "Yeah, and who the hell are you? Actually, who the hell do you _think_ you are?" she spoke out angrily, snatching her hand back with lightning speed.

From the expression on his face, she could tell that he had never been asked that before, or in that way. He blinked through a very confused stare as his hand still remained it's position even though Hinamori's hand had long left it.

"Uhm... Well-I" he started.

"Spit it out, I don't have all day, Bud." Hinamori seethed. She didn't know why- but she was _pissed_ to see someone else in _her_ office, in _her_ squad.

"Masahiko Adachi" He reported.

"... and~?"

"I'm the temporary captain of the fifth squad, ma'am"

She liked how he added the 'ma'am'. "Temporary is correct, Adachi. Now why was it decided that _you_ would take over _my_ squad?"

Thankfully, just at that moment, Byakuya Kuchiki stalked into the room and caught Hinamori's obviously angered eyes with his aghast ones at the evidence of how she was treating her new captain, not to mention... the title other than captain that the man held. Something Kuchiki new a few things about himself.

"Hinamori Fuku-Taicho!" he exclaimed, after clearing his throat.

Spinning around, her angered glare softened only a little at the sight of the noble captain. "And what can I do for _you_, Kuchiki-Taicho?"

"You can explain to me why you are addressing Masahiko Adachi-_Denka_ in such a manner." he stoically replied in his usual, cold tone.

Hinamori froze for a moment. "...D-denka...?"

Byakuya nodded, shutting his eyes in his dramatic way as usual.

She spun around, back to the man who now donned the captain haori for her division. "_Denka?_" she exasperated, with only a hint of disbelief in her voice, as it was Captain Kuchiki who said it. "Are you for real?"

"last time I checked... yes..." The man murmured, glaring slightly at Kuchiki-Taicho for stealing his thunder.

"Well... well... why didn't you tell me?!" She raged, the anger back in full swing.

Kuchiki had long lost interest, as he usually did when there was no reason for the interest to be lost, and had walked away, leaving the two to figure things out.

"Why is this my fault?!" the man pleaded to her, curious as to why the woman was still angry with him.

"Because I said so!" Hinamori thundered.

The man opened his mouth to argue, but then stopped mid-thought process and left his mouth hanging open slightly.

Hinamori waited for a moment and then coked a brow at his continued silence. "What were you about to say before that stupefied expression came over your face?"

"Not sure. You made a pretty good point, and all." The man nodded.

Hinamori had been slightly taken aback at the man's honesty. And patience. He could have had her removed from her position for talking to a captain that way. But that wasn't even the half of it! He was also a _prince_? He could have her _killed _for talking to him that way.

The prince-turned-captain-whatever simply sat down behind his desk and smiled at her with a quite stunning smile. She was slightly taken aback with this strange person. Who was he? Where did he come from? Why was he the captain? Why was he so nice to her? Why was he so... handsome?

Finally, she snapped herself out of her anger and into a flustered blushing frenzy.

She bowed her face to the floor to hide her blushing "My deepest apologies for treating you in such a manner Masahiko Adachi-Denka ...Taicho Denka... " She fumbled, not sure how to say his name.

A light silence filled the room as Hinamori still faced the floor, and Adachi at his desk, looking her down.

"How about we stick with Adachi-Taicho, Hinamori Fuku-Taicho?"

Surprised by such a friendly response, Hinamori looked up to him to be greeted by a smile of epic proportions.

"H-hai, Adachi-Taicho" she murmured.

Standing up, he walked over to Hinamori and stood in front of her. "You look skinny, Hinamori" he mused.

"Oh! I was in the hospi-"

"I know. So what do you say to some non-hospital food to help you put some meat back on those bones. You're going to need lots of energy and strength to survive in my squad," he winked at her, earning him a giggle, "So what would you say to something deep-fried and completely unhealthy?"

She laughed, "I'm only completely ignoring Unohana-Taicho's eating plan the very first day..."

"Awww- come on, Hinamori. Don't tell me you're a stuck up little lieutenant like that Ise Nanao I've ran into! I was afraid she would beat me up with that book she always is carrying!" he teased.

Laughing some more, Hinamori nodded, "Yes, sure, food sounds great"

A movie star smile flashed across his face at her acceptance and led her out to a cafe outside of Seiretei, shun-po racing all the way.

Ever since that day, Hinamori and Adachi were as close as could be. At first, he was just a captain- someone she admired with all that she had as a shinigami. Soon he became someone she trusted with all that she had as a friend. And, in time, he became someone she loved him with all that she had as a woman.

And that was all that mattered.

He helped her recover, and return to herself once again. With his recommendation, she attempted to become the captain of the fifth squad. He helped her train to reach bankai, and gain strength and stamina; much that she had lost during her hospitalization. He pushed her far, but knew when it was too far, and not before long- she was well on her way. And soon enough- her slender but strong figure was adorned with the captain's haori of the fifth squad, well earned and deserved.

Adachi had gladly steeped to the side to allow for a permanent captain to take charge, supported by a new lieutenant; Kuchiki Rukia. After such difficulties, he was happy to see the squad as one once again; he had told Hinamori the night after her inauguration into the captain's seat.

She felt... complete. Like this was the path she was destined to take in her life.

Finally, she reached the doors at the end of the dark hall. Knocking timidly three times, the doors opened before her, and she stepped into the lit room. Yamamoto was sitting behind his desk with his lieutenant and a few shinigami guards flanking him on either side.

"You requested to see me, Yamamoto-Taicho, sir?" her faint voice echoed around the room.

"Yes, Hinamori-Taicho, I have." he answered in his gruff voice that sounded bored.

"Regarding?" She urged professionally.

"A mission."

"To where?" His small answers were staring to bother her, as she scened her questions were beginning to bother him.

"The living world."

"What rank should be sent?" she inquired.

He paused, his eyes barely opening as he somehow regarded her.

"... Captain rank." He finished, as Hinamori's eyes grew wide behind her thick lashes.

--A/N--

Whoo-hoo! Done.

I got to 5 pages this update. That's good for me!

How do you all feel about Adachi? =] hehee! I'm so evil with my Ocs.

Thanks for reading, and don't forget to review! The more reviews- the faster the updates.


	17. Occupationally Schizophrenic

**Remembering Winter**

Chapter 17: Occupationally Schizophrenic

--A/N--

You get the picture.

Just in case you guys forgot, Hitsugaya is stationed in Tokyo. It's been awhile since we've seen him. =]

A sentimental moment:

I know I haven't been very good about updating, and I'm very sorry about that. I love writing, I really do, and I truly wish that I had more time for it, but sadly... I just don't. I have much schoolwork, as it is my Junior year and I opted to take high level classes up the wazoo. I'm dealing with medical issues that keep me from doing what I love much of the time. So I thank you all for your patience and support for me and my work. You may not know it, but you are my inspiration to push that chapter out. So thank you so much for everything, my beloved fans.

Carrying on... as I write this right now, I am on an airplane to the beautiful Caribbean. There will be writing time.

I assure you. =]

---

"S_eriously?_" Hinamori muttered in slight anger as she planted her feet on the night-covered sidewalk, her black hell butterfly fluttering off into the starry heavens. She was still in disbelief that it was _her_ and _only_ her who was permitted to go on this mission.

Not that there was much to it in the first place.

"Collect data on numbers of hollows" she mimicked Yamamoto's words, "sounds... highly entertaining... I mean, really... anyone can do this."

Sighing, she knew complaining would get her nowhere, she just expected more exciting duties as a captain and she got stuck... watching hollows.

At least she got to kill them, too.

She sure felt like killing something right then.

Yamamoto had made it sound like she had some sort of comrade on this mission of hers however, they were apparently on the other side of the world collecting data there. It wouldn't make sense to collect all data from the same place, right?

Whatever.

Reaching into her robes, she pulled out a folded ensemble of papers explaining her duties.

"Letssee..." she murmured, scanning the scrawled letters. (Despite his great and noble presence, the Captain-Commander had _awful_ handwriting.) "Am I where I'm supposed to be...?"

Even working through the treacherous excuse for letters, she was able to make out;

**Tokyo, Japan**

She scratched her nose as she glanced around. "I wonder where my partner is, Timbuktu?" She wouldn't put it past Yamamoto. The man did, after all, call her away from a party to let her know she was doomed for the living world.

"Party pooper.." she murmured angrily as she picked up her bag from the ground, secured Tobiume, and took off with one great shun-po into the dawning sky.

_--A few months later--_

The city began to grow on her, more and more with every passing day. The tall skyscrapers that once seemed like large fingers sprouting from the ground, capturing her, trapping her in Tokyo now seemed welcoming and beautiful.

Homey.

Truthfully, she hated Tokyo at first; the hustle of all the people on the sidewalks, doing some sort of poorly conglomerated interpretive dance every morning on the way to the subway. She found it quite ridiculous how they put up with it every single morning.

Insanity, thats what it was.

Yet, as time went by... she found beauty in that as well. Seeing a new face every step, watching the mother carrying two screaming children and earning sympathetic looks as she pushed her way through the crowd, the police officer spilling his just-purchased and boiling hot coffee down his front... it too, was beautiful.

And there was much to be desired when it came to her apartment. And if she could grow to love that... she could love just about anything. Being instructed to find a place out of the way and inconspicuous, she found a one room apartment on the top floor of a building on a city street. It wasn't much, but then again she wasn't given much in the way of funds from Soul Society.

It was two floors above a little coffee shop, and very well-kept. She had a stove and a fridge and very little counter space. Managing to fit in a full-sized bed was a feat and a deep purple curtain kept her sanctuary of a bedroom separate. She had a small table next to her large windows that had a fantastic view of the colorful city beyond her room and a few posh chairs near the foot of her bed for lounging. As for a bathroom, she had a small closet for her toilet and a very small sink. As for her bathtub... it was in her 'living room'. Off to the side of course, near the closet that it belongs in, but is much to small to contain. It was odd at first, having an old claw footed tub the color of blood out in plain sight... but even that soon became a new highlight in her life. It was like a sculpture in her eyes.

Also, she liked being able to watch TV while she bathed. But that was only a minor detail.

She knew it wasn't much... but it was hers. Her own space, her very own. She had fallen in love with it the day she discovered floor-to-ceiling bookshelves behind some paneling, and the day she began decorating the whole place in deep purples and reds and passionate oranges to her liking.

It was more than just a simple living space to her.

It was the cement foundation to her new life.

–

Hitsugaya sat down behind his desk, doing his best to ignore the chatty Akito following him. As far as Akito knew, Hitsugaya had been taking a vacation to his sister's house for the New Years holiday. It wasn't a total lie... Matsumoto could somewhat be considered a sister, right?

"Were there any hot chicks there?" Akito excitedly inquired.

Hitsugaya shook his head.

"What?! None?!"

"Um. No."

With that, Akito let out an exasperated sigh and folded his arms across his chest. "I refuse to believe that. You simply weren't looking."

"Guess not." Hitsugaya murmured over the plastic topper of the Starbucks cup containing his black coffee.

"Who brought you that coffee?!" Akito asked, pointing accusingly at the cup hovering below Hitsugaya's lips.

"I dunno... that one girl." Hitsugaya replied, all to happy that Akito was easily distracted.

"_Which '_one girl'?" he asked possessively.

Arching a brow, Hitsugaya chuckled. "I think she was blonde. But aren't they all?"

"Psh. _No_." Akito flipped his hair out of his eyes in one majestic swoop, "it's true I have a thing for blonde secretaries... but I also have two redheads and three brunettes."

Hitsugaya chuckled, "and how many blondes?"

"... eight."

"I rest my case."

"Well at least I _have_ secretaries." Akito murmured, his nose gaining some elevation in the air defiantly.

Hitsugaya groaned,"Not this again, Akito. I'm not in the mood..."

"You really should put some consideration into getting one."

"No."

"_No?!_ Why _No?_"

"Because," Hitsugaya paused to take a sip of his black coffee, "Why should I pay someone to do work for me that I can do better myself? I would end up re-doing everything that they did, anyway. Waste of time. Plus, if I need something like coffee, I just borrow one of yours."

"So you're saying that you wouldn't trust someone to do your filing and report sheets?" Akito tilted his head.

"Not necessarily. I'm sure there's someone who can truly do the work perfectly. However, finding them is the problem. And since they aren't just going to appear, I'll just do my own work."

Akito was strangely silent.

Hitsugaya looked up at him from his desk to see a sheepish smile.

"...What did you do...?"

–

Lips twitching into an awe struck smile, Hinamori made up her mind:

The living world was amazing.

And, the strapless ivy dress hanging in the shop window before her had her name all over it.

She couldn't help it. When she was first ordered to leave, Matsumoto told her that she would be spending half her time shopping rather than doing actual work, and although Hinamori had set out to prove her wrong... she felt herself slipping into addiction.

Especially to shoes.

She had already purchased a few pairs of them. Her favorite being her Jimmy Choo's. The salesman had said they were fresh off the red carpet, and the strapped black elegance of the Galas couldn't be found anywhere else.

That convinced her. Not that she really needed any convincing. She fell in love the moment she saw the little gold zipper staged on the shoe.

No wonder her apartment was a little lack-luster; she spent all her money on shoes. But hey, you only live once, right?

… Not that that applied in this situation...

–

A few hours later, after buying the emerald gown that went to her knees and hugged her subtle curves in all the right places, she threw on her faithful Jimmy Choo's and head out for a night out.

She fell in love with the city all over again.

Lights flooded the streets and into her heart as she strutted down the sidewalk. Everything that appeared dismal and gray during the afternoon hours now flaunted neon lights from every surface possible. An especially illuminated building had a hot pink flashing sign proclaiming "Girls! Live!"

_Live girls? _Hinamori pondered over the sign, _As opposed to Shinigami, Hollow, or Soul girls? _

Intrigued, and also seeking some possible friends, Hinamori opened the door.

Her first thought was, _Where are the girls?_

The room was crowded with... men; chatting, drinking... being... men-like. All of them turned once she walked in, looking at her either with a look of interest, or disgust.

_What the heck is going on here? _

At that moment, some sassy music started and all of the attention that was once on Hinamori was directed to the stage in a great motion of synchronized head turns.

_What are they all loo-_

It was at that moment Hinamori saw way more of a human girl than she ever wanted to see.

She was beautiful, there was no denying that. Long, red waves fell ruthlessly down her pale back and shimmering blue eyes seductively peaked out from under long, glittery lashes. Hinamori focused on her face, as she wasn't wearing much other than that. Just a poor excuse for a swimsuit and some high-heels that could kill someone if used correctly. And she was... dancing? And getting money stuck in her... bikini?

Throughly confused at the way of human life, Hinamori turned to leave. But, before she could reach the door handle, a shout was heard from the stage and more from the audience. In a flash, she whipped around to witness a man grabbing a hold of the redhead on stage who was frantically trying to get him off of her. For a moment, Hinamori thought he was after the vast amounts of money she had in her undergarments, but soon realized that was not the case. Not a moment later, she shun-po'ed past the half-drunk watchers and landed with a satisfying kick of Jimmy Choo into the face of the grabber.

He was sent flying and was rammed into a conveniently placed metal pole. After a few moments of confused blinking, he attempted to get back up again, muttering some drunken things that Hinamori couldn't understand fully, but had a feeling they were degrading to her in some way. Leaping, she grabbed onto a pole near him and used the momentum to land another kick in the face before letting go and landed one-footed in between his legs, a mere millimeter away from the spot that would make him wish he were dead.

"I would suggest you leave now." She said so sweetly it was venomous.

He merely nodded, wide-eyed and bruised, as he slid up the pole behind him and made a quick walk for the exit, not taking his worried eyes off of her the whole time.

Hinamori waited until she heard the door shut behind him before turning to the dancer. She stared at Hinamori as she held up the straps to her top, as the man had broken them.

"Are you alright?" Hinamori asked, lending her a hand to help her up.

"Sure thing," the dancer said, taking her hand, "This kinda thing happens often enough. Security was snoozin' tonight, though."

Hinamori laughed, "I should thank them, I got a decent workout."

The redhead cracked a smile, "Whats your name, kid? I haven't seen you around before. Normally we just have the usuals here."

"Hinamori, and I'm fairly new. I … walked into the wrong door..." She stuttered, embarrassed.

"I'm Tamale." she replied, heading off stage and signaling for Hinamori to follow her behind the shimmering silver curtian.

"Tamale?" Hinamori questioned

"Yeah, Tamale. Oh, stop giving me that face-it's not my _real_ name." She replied to Hinamori's questioning look, "It's my dancer name."

"Well, then whats your real name?" Hinamori asked politely.

"Ha!" Tamale replied, "No one knows that 'sept me and my birth certificate!"

Hinamori was so confused with the girl that she broke out into laughter. "Allright, Tamale it is, then!"

Tamale quickly flittered behind a curtian and came out in a satin robe that reminded Hinamori of her favorite nightie, peach silk. Before Hinamori could compliment her, Tamale plopped down at a vanity table and began scrubbing makeup off of her face. While waiting, Hinamori glanced around. Many other girls filled the room- all in sequins and feather boas and not much else.

"Ne, Tamale? What exactly... is this place?" she asked.

Tamale looked at her in disbelief. "You don't know?"

"Uhm... no, not really... I've never been in a place like this before."

Tamale popped a piece of gum in her mouth and snapped it loudly, "It's a strip club. Without the stripping, I guess. I thought you knew that."

Hinamori was taken aback a bit "Why?"

"Well... normally chicks steer clear of these places unless... " She trailed off.

"Unless _what_?"

"unless they're a lesbian!"

Hinamori may not have known all there was to know about the living world, but she knew about lesbians. SoiFong and Yourichi proved that there was no limit to that even in Soul Society.

"And you thought I was...a...?"

"Well... " Tamale laughed.

"Oh my!" Hinamori laughed at the thought "No, I'm not. I think I would know"

"Some don't," Tamale contunued, "But since you're sure, I have a proposition for you, Hinamori."

"Huh?"

"Look, I know that it's kind of a shitty job with a lot of shitty people staring at you, but i'll tell ya one thing: the money sure ain't shitty." she chuckled and glanced down at Hinamori's shoes, "And with a shoe-addiction like that, I'd say you could use some cold hard cash shoved in your bra."

Startled, Hinamori stuttered, "You mean, you're offering me a... a _job_? Doing _that_?" She pointed a thumb over her shoulder to the stage where a girl with ebony skin and a gold bikini was sliding down a pole.

"Yes, yes I am. You may not think it, but we don't hire just anyone who waltzes in with a good body. You've got to know how to use it."

"_Use it_?! You haven't even seen me do anything!" Hinamori exclaimed.

Tamale smiled a cat-that-caught-the-mouse smile and leaned back in her chair, "Oh, but I did. When you rocked the stage in those ridiculously high stilettos and tight dress. You've got what it takes, Hinamori. Most people have to go through years of ballet and gymnastics before they can land a job, but apparently Karate did the trick for you. Your flexibility is insane, your posture is clean, and you have an amazing body and pretty face. You're what this place needs, Hinamori."

Tamale got a blank stare as a reply.

"You're crazy, Tamale." Hinamori laughed.

She smiled, "Only a bit. What do you say? Can you make a deal with this crazy lady?"

–

"I'm... so pissed... Akito... " Hitsugaya managed to get out, trying not to freeze the entire block.

Akito only smiled, and glanced down at the newspaper crunched in Hitsugaya's flexing hands. "Well, what do you expect? I told you to get on it for so long, and you never did! Look what you've gotten yourself into!"

Hitsugaya had looked, and never cared to again. In his hands was the cover of the Tokyo Times, and it was a full-page ad for women around the area to migrate to Hitsugaya and Masahori Law for a chance to become the bachelor's secretary. Hitsugaya had actually officially been named Tokyo's Most Eligible Bachelor that summer, and it pissed him off.

Akito framed the cover of the magazine and put it in the office foyer.

And that pissed Hitsugaya off even more.

"Akito... " Hitsugaya warned.

"What? What?! You know, you need to lighten up a little!" Akito exclaimed, pushing himself off Hitsugaya's desk top and leapt to the floor. "And... draw these curtains, you hermit!" Akito threw open the drapes and froze, his eyes wide and mouth parted slightly.

Hitsugaya didn't look at him, but the silence was very unatural. "What?"

There was no reply.

Hitsugaya looked up, "What is it?"

Silence.

"Akito! What is the matter?!"

Akito looked up to him and pointed out the window.

Hitsugaya made the window in a few long strides and glanced down. And felt his anger rising to dangerous heights. "Akito..."

Akito cracked a exasperated smile, "I guess some girls don't know how to read dates..."

Crowding the sidewalks, streets, and surrounding buildings were... women. Milling, chatting, crowding women.

"There... must be some charity walk... or something..." Hitsugaya's voice was barely a whisper.

"I... don't think so. I think they're camping out in front of our building until the 23rd -thats when I said the auditions would be..."

Hitsugaya's eyes widened, "and... whats the date today?"

Akito looked at him, "It's the 6th."

"And how many women do you think are down there?"

Akito glanced down, "Well...I can't see them all, but I would guess.. maybe twenty-one hundred?"

_Two thousand, one hundred women on my doorstep? And not one of them is even close to Hinamori. _He thought with a frown.

"What are we going to do about this, Akito?" Hitsugaya squared his shoulders, taking this problem just like any case he might be presented with.

"I dunno," he looked at him with a look of a confused six year-old, "We could have them take numbers?"

Hitsugaya laughed.

--A/N--

Six pages! Guess who is totally freaking proud of herself?! Thats right, I AM!

I really had fun writing this chapter, I think it's really fun. =] I hope you guys like it, too.

Questions? Comments? Feel free to call us toll free at the review button below 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.


	18. Akito's Angel

**Remembering Winter**

Chapter 18: Akito's Angel

--A/N--

I seriously just finished chapter 17 a few minutes ago.

Be really freaking proud of me and feel really freaking special.

Disclaimer: Don't own bleach, stop rubbing it in.

–

Thumping bass, flooding lights of candy store colors, the smell of alcohol and sex hovering in the heavy air, neon flashing, sequins shining and the beautiful sound of money.

More than a few of the Seven Deadly Sins were in the room, she figured as she waited for Tamale to finish on stage.

She was the next victim being thrown to the gluttonous beast of lust.

At least, that was how she imagined the girl on deck should be feeling, as she stood beside the bar with a tray, waiting for the bartender to finish up a martini. She watched Tamale saunter off the stage, and a beautiful blonde in a purple corset practically skipped to center stage.

_So much for being a victim... _Hinamori muttered as the blonde began her dance with a look of great enjoyment on her face. Glancing at the crowd, she noted that everyone in the room had a look of enjoyment. She shook her head. The truth was, she hated the place. When Tamale asked her to work there, as a dancer,her first reaction was to run far, far away. She tried to refuse as politely as she could and slowly slink her way back outside, but Tamale had grabbed her arm. Dancing wasn't the only way to make serious money in this place...

So here she was. A waitress in training. The current bartender was leaving soon for a job at a major corporation as their chief marketing director, so Hinamori was the perfect replacement. She was smart, sexy, and a quick learner. But, her lessons were after the place closed for the day, and so during the long night she took drink orders, waited at the bar, brought the drinks. It wasn't much work... but she made money. Lots of it. Just like Tamale had said. All you really needed was a pretty face in a place like this.

It wasn't a bad job at all. She had never gotten attacked like Tamale had the first night she met her, but usually the audience was more enthused with the... entertainment. But, she would be lying if she said she _never_ got hit on.

But most of the usuals knew what kind of a kick she could give.

–

-_A few weeks later-_

"Akito..." Groaned Hitsugaya, "What's the date today?" Hitsugaya's head was on his desk in a very unprofessional fashion.

Akito looked up from the newspaper on his lap and glanced at his Rolex. "Twenty-first."

"Two more days..." Hitsugaya groaned again. His eyes burned and his head ached due to lack of sleep, lack of caffeine, and lack of cigarettes. The crowd outside had built and built to the point that it was suicide to even leave the building. The first three thousand had gotten a special card that got them to the front of the line, and they were able to leave. But the crowd kept getting larger and larger. Hitsugaya had begged Akito to just start getting the auditions over with so they could get on with their lives, but Akito would only shake his finger and say "what if the perfect one shows up on the final day?"

Hitsugaya didn't give a shit if she never came. He just wanted a bloody cigarette.

No one in the office had been brave enough to leave the building for three days. Luckily, most people had a few changes of clothes stored away for all-nighters at the office, and there was plenty of repulsive instant coffee.

But no smoking.

No cigarettes.

Hitsugaya sighed angrily. It had been a rough three days.

_Only two more days... only two more days... only two more god damn days..._

"Well," Akito said as he folded his newspaper neatly and slapped it on the desk with a loud snap, jolting Hitsugaya, "Look on the bright side!"

Hitsugaya's bloodshot eyes glared. "What could the bright side possibly be?"

"Well..." Akito walked over to Hitsugaya and tied his tie to match his own, "We get to spend tons of time together!"

"Joy." Hitsugaya undid his tie, much to Akito's disgust.

"And think of all the work our little squad members are doing!"

Hitsugaya, who's head was on a path for the desk again, froze. He looked up at Akito. "Squad.... members...?"

Akito began to reply but Hitsugaya's mind was already in Soul Society.

He missed it. He missed his squad. He missed his office. He missed Matsumoto. He missed... Hinamori.

He could see her now, her beautiful face with blushing cheeks... gorgeous auburn hair floating around her milky skin... Her sweet voice calling his name...

_Hitsugaya..._

_Hitsugaya..._

Hitsugaya!

He looked up, Akito was leaning over his desk.

"Are you... okay, Hitsugaya?"

Hitsugaya felt very warm. "Yeah, I'm fine... why?"

Akito looked at him questioningly, "You kind of... dazed out for awhile... and... are you sure you're fine?"

Hitsugaya grumbled some uninterpretable thing as he stood up and walked to the window, stretching his aching muscles.

He was a mess. And that was an understatement.

Every breath drained more and more out of his already dying body, every heartbeat more painful than the last. His vision became gray, the world bleak to his eyes... without her beautiful sunshine casting it's never ending warmth on the world.

He glanced over his shoulder at Akito who stood a ways behind him, a worried look on his face.

"I'm fine, Akito," Hitsugaya's gravely voice murmured as he offered a small grin to his friend, "I just need a drink."

Akito's face remained worried for a moment before cracking into a smile, "I think I can make that happen"

Hitsugaya snorted, "You and what army? Because really, we're going to need one to get through this" he laughed.

"Well there's a garage in back, you know." Akito stated.

"... what?" Hitsugaya deadpanned.

"Uhm... there's a garage in back? Where I park my car every day?"

Hitsugaya was so mad he could hardly breathe.

"How come I never knew about this until now, Akito?" he spoke so calmly it was lethal.

"Because... we've never needed drinks this bad until now!" Akito exclaimed as he grabbed Hitsugaya's arm and began dragging him to his car before Hitsugaya could kill him.

---

"Is this really necessary, Akito?" Hitsugaya murmured tensely as they stepped out of Akito's Mercedes CL luxury coupé and pulled the swing door down after him roughly.

"Be careful with those doors!" Akito whined, "They're brand new..."

Hitsugaya snorted, "Sure, anything for your Mercedes, Akito."

"I know how you feel about Mercedes, Toshiro, but suck it up. And yes, this is absolutely necessary" He said with his usual over-confidence as they stepped in the building and they were instantly coated in flashing lights and heavy music.

"Why?" Hitsugaya shouted to Akito over the droning bass.

"Because," Akito smiled as he looked around, "You need alcohol... and I need women."

As Hitsugaya regarded the room, he gathered that this place had quite a bit of both.

Akito lead him to a table right by the stage where a flashy blonde was going at that pole like there was no tomorrow. Akito turned his chair to face her. Hitsugaya turned his away.

"I will never understand how you can't enjoy this, Toshiro." Akito murmured dreamily, enchanted by the blonde in the red … outfit. "You know, Yumi was a dancer. Still is. Thats how I met her."

"Oh?" Hitsugaya murmured, ignoring Akito and searching for a waitress.

"Yup. But I'm sure you discovered that the night you took her home, huh?" Akito laughed, nudging Hitsugaya's arm.

"What are you talking about, Akito?" Hitsugaya rolled his eyes, "Stop putting sick fantasies in your own head, it's repulsive."

Akito smirked, "And what are _you_ talking about, Toshiro? I know what happened, Yumi told me the whole story! Well... not the _whole story_... but enough for me to get the picture."

"Akito," Hitsugaya's voice was serious, "Nothing happened. I dropped her off at her house and then I went back home. That was it. I don't know what you're talking about, but it never happened."

Akito was silent.

Hitsugaya signaled a waitress and ordered a vodka on the rocks and two for back to the still-quiet he nudged him, "What's up? You're almost never quiet."

Akito breathed out a brief smile, "it's nothing."

"You sure?"

"Yeah... I guess, I mean... what are you waiting for?"

Hitsugaya was taken aback, "What?"

"I don't know... it's just, why don't you ever _glance_ at a woman? Yumi was the only one I had ever seen you even sit next to and you had to get drunk as hell to do even that. What is up with you, man?" Akito stopped, and looked at Hitsugaya with questioning eyes.

The waitress came back and slid the glasses on the table and Hitsugaya handed her his credit card without even looking at her before she walked away.

"Like that!" Akito pointed, "You didn't even say a word to her! I bet you couldn't even tell me her hair color!"

"Blonde"

Akito scowled and glanced around, "Lucky guess. Everyone has blonde hair except for that one over there." He said as he jerked his head towards the bar as he finished his first drink.

Hitsugaya didn't even bother looking. "Yeah, whatever. I'm going to go buy a pack of cigarettes from the vendor outside."

Hitsugaya got up and left, leaving Akito at the table by himself. He gulped down his second drink and ordered a third. They were really strong... lots more vodka than tonic, that was for sure. He focused his attention once more to the stage where a black-haired beauty was doing magical things with her body. If only Hitsugaya could see the things he saw. Akito shook his head. That boy had so much potential.

Before his thoughts could continue, he was jolted out of his chair by ice down the front of his shirt.

"Ohmygosh! I am so sorry!" A frantic voice squealed, "I'm usually not so klutzy!"

Akito soon realized that he just had a vodka tonic spilled down his front by a very cute waitress. This had potential...

"Damn" he murmured, "A brand new suit..." Not that he cared, he had five just like it in his closet at home.

The girl gasped, "I'm sorry!"

Akito stole a glance at the girl who was frantically untying her little apron to try to dab his suit dry. He smirked, she sure was cute. She was petite, but the spiked heels she was wearing made up for it a bit. Her black minidress hugged her subtle frame and her silky auburn hair fell in delicate waves, framing her milky-skinned face and shoulders. She looked up at him with pleading eyes that sparkled in the fluorescent lights.

"Hey, it's okay," Akito spoke teasingly,"Anyone would trip in those shoes."

The girl laughed, "I suppose. I just haven't had to do much walking in them lately, unlike before, when I walked around in them for a good eight hours a night. But once I started taking over the bar... not so much."

Akito nodded, "Makes sense. So I'm guessing this is my drink?" He asked as he glanced down at his shirt.

The brunette gave off a nervous laugh Akito found very attractive, "Um... yeah. If you come over to the bar with me I can make you a new one." She offered him a smile, he followed.

As he walked behind her he could tell that she _definitely _had quite a bit of experience in those shoes. And he couldn't help but wonder if she had experience in _other_ areas...

He sat down by the bar as she made his drink. Her smooth movements and the way her hair fell over her shoulder was hypnotizing, he realized as she startled as she placed two quite full drinks in front of him, smiling at him.

He smiled, "One of these for you?"

Her smile disappeared into something lethal, "No." She said sharply.

Akito was taken aback. How was this possible? He was hot. And rich. And knew how to flirt and smile his way out of any situation.

"They're on the house. And I made an extra for you as an apology, as I can tell that you are a man who prefers getting drunk to a show of strippers after work rather than going home to your wife who believes that you get off of work two hours later than you really do, leaving you with plenty of time to do whatever sees your fit." She inhaled a sharp, angry breath after she finished her seemingly-rehearsed speech.

"And yes, I came up with that on the spot, much to your belief of the contrary."

Akito simply stared, and finished off a drink before starting on the second one. The room was starting to get a little fuzzy...He had had how many drinks? Four? Not counting the numerous mini-bottles of alcohol he had stashed in his mini-fridge, and were now empty and littering his desk. Every day starts off with a good breakfast of gin and tonics!

"Sorry?" He wasn't sure what else to say.

She simply shook her head, "I have this job because I need the money. I'm not proud of it. Few people understand that."

Akito blinked as he tipped his glass back, getting the last drop of watered-down vodka that was still surprisingly strong.

"I think I could tell by the fact that you weren't up there," He pointed to the stage, "That you weren't proud of this."

Was he actually talking to a girl in a black leather tube top and _not _making sexual references? He really must be wasted...

"Wow." The girl murmured sarcastically, "A private instigator are we?"

"Lawyer, actually. Can I have another one?" he asked, nudging his glass closer to her, over the bar top.

She raised an eyebrow, "I think you've had enough..."

"Hey, Angel" A redhead called as she stepped behind the bar, "We've got a problem and I ain't payin you to stand around and chit-chat"

"Sorry, Tam-" Hinamori started.

"She was convincing me to not kill myself."Akito jumped in.

Both the girls standing behind the bar stared at him with looks that questioned his sanity.

"Okay..." the redhead murmured as she slowly turned to the brunette in leather. "Anyway, there's some bum at table five who refuses to leave. I take it you can handle it?"

"Yeah, no problem." The brunette smiled as she practically leapt over the bar to table five and began threatening the man.

Akito watched her as she gave him a punch on his left cheek and he could have sworn she picked him up by his collar before throwing him out.

"Don't even try with her."

"Huh?" Akito sharply turned his head back to the redhead who was still watching the girl.

"Don't try. She's too good for everyone who comes into this joint. I've seen many guys like you in awe over her. And they try... and they end up getting slapped... it's just not a good scene."

The brunette glanced at the clock and whisked into the back room behind a velvet curtain. Akito assumed it was her break time.

Tamale smiled, "She deserves someone better than what this place has to offer her." And then she left, and headed for the satin curtain leading backstage.

"Wait!" Akito called after her, and she paused and turned her head over her shoulder, "What's her name?"

The redhead smiled, "Her name is Angel, and thats all you need to know." And then she was gone.

"Damn." Akito murmured under his breath.

"What are we damning?" Hitsugaya's voice teased.

Akito rolled his head to the side to look at Hitsugaya. "I just met the girl of my dreams..."

Hitsugaya arched an eyebrow, "Are you drunk?"

"Depends on what you consider drunk."

Hitsugaya breathed out a laugh, "I'll take that as a yes."

--A/N--

I wasn't planning on stopping there, but nothing was coming- so there you have it. Chapter 18. Done. (Finally, I know)

This chapter took:

7 cans of Rockstar

2 packs of Oreos

(At least) 10 cans of Coke

And too many days.

XD ahaha. I'm so healthy.

Thanks for reading and REVIEWING. -Ichigosmoothie


	19. Saving the Best for Last

**Remembering Winter**

Chapter 19: Saving the Best for Last

--A/N--

Whoo! One more to the big Two-Zero! Maybe something special will happen for that chapter, ne?! You never know with Ichigosmoothie! =D

Once again, Just posted chapter 18 and immediately started this one. I'm procrastinating on history homework! (trust me, it's joyous for both you and me)

Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading my chapter as much as I did writing it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. But bleach owns me.

P.S. I'm so sorry to all of you who reviewed my last chapter... I replied to like, 5 of you. As you know, I make it priority to reply to every single review I get. However, I just feel bad when I look in there and I have all of my dutiful readers and... I haven't worked on the latest chapter for 3 weeks. . it makes me feel guilty. So I avoid it.

And to my dearest blackwitchkarma, I felt so bad when I saw you had written so much to me! (and my Luxio just evolved into a Luxray a few days ago!! =D)

sorry.... again...

Just enjoy the blasted chapter and ignore me.

---

_-Soul Society-_

A mistake had been discovered.

However small it was deemed at the time, no one was able to fully understand the consequences that their lack of action created for not only those directly involved, but all of Soul Society. The small incident that mattered little at the time would become the end, as well as the beginning of life.

Hinamori's report said for her to be stationed in Karakura Town, where hollow sightings were common due to the attracting power of Kurosaki Ichigo's riatsu.

However, Hinamori had not been sent to Karakura Town. Instead, she had been sent to Tokyo where her comrade in research was stationed, Hitsugaya Toshiro. The fact that their relationship ended with bitterness was regarded by few as a possible issue, and they thought it best to simply let the issue work itself out, and they saw it as a very slight possibility that the two would even come in contact with each other, being it such a large city. And so what if they did?

"What do you mean, 'so what?'" a very angry Masahiko Adachi shouted as he slammed his fists on the Captain-Commander's desk, "What if something happens? What if they _do _meet? What if he tries to do something to her?!"

The Captain-Commander sat very still. "I can assure you that you have nothing to worry about, Adachi-Denka. Even in the chance that they do come in contact, as small a chance as it is, I assure you that our captains are not as you may think, and will not do anything inappropriate, or outside of their mission. I would also like to ask you to not ask that we relocate Hinamori-Taicho to a different location again, and if you choose to argue again, you will be cut off from knowing about her whereabouts, or the details of her mission. Is that perfectly clear?"

Adachi stood silently as he digested the captain's words. "Fine. But- if _anything _happens to the woman that I love... you will wish that you had listened to my words, Captain-Commander Yamamoto."

With that, Adachi slowly erected himself off of Yamamoto's desk and waltzed out of the office as if he owned it, his fleet of bodyguards following in perfect step.

After a few moments of silence, Yamamoto turned to his Lieutenant, "I really can't stand him."

–

Hinamori sighed as she cleaned up spilled vodka off of the bar that had been the result in yet another bar fight that she had put an end to by kicking them out. Literally. Those guys would have the imprint of a stiletto heel on their asses for a good week.

_I _love _my job, I _love_ my job, I _love-, _who am I kidding? I hate this job. _Hinamori thought to herself as she wiped her rag over the bar top. It paid well, and she was good at it... but it just... sucked. It was the same creepy people, the same too-loud, thumping music, and the same drunks that tried to get her to give them lap dances as if she was one of the dancers. Which she wasn't. She adamantly refused that job offer.

Sighing, she threw her rag in the sink and walked into the back room where she flopped down on a chair. It was close enough to the end of her shift, what would a half hour hurt? Everyone in the club was drunk enough already. She grabbed her bag and pulled a pair of jeans and her leather jacket out of it. She slid the jeans on under her mini dress that could definitely be pulled off as a shirt and slid her black boots over her jeans. Throwing on her jacket and slinging her bag over her shoulder, she headed for the back door and into the 2:30 in-the-morning air. Before she could push the door open, someone from the other side opened it wide open. Stepping back, Hinamori's heart picked up a little. They've had some problems with robbery and break-ins in the past...

"Hey, Angel," A soft voice called out, "what's with that look?"

Hinamori let out the breath she had been subconsciously holding and gave out a laugh, "Sorry, guess I let my imagination run a little wild for a moment, Trixie!"

"Damn straight," the girl murmured as she stepped through the door frame. Her ebony skin softly murmured the colored lights leaking from the stage, and her lengthy black hair fell to her lower back. "You taking good care of the bar for me, Angel?"

Hinamori smiled at the black beauty who had instructed her in bar tending before leaving for higher opportunities. "Yeah, I think I'm doing okay."

Trixie glanced at her friend, "Hey- I just need to go grab something, so you wanna go grab a bite to eat? I know this 24-hour diner that has the strongest coffee you could imagine."

Hinamori laughed, "Sure, I could use a cup of grounds."

–

An hour, a pot of coffee, and two "manly man's" breakfast meals later the girls sat in the diner in a booth. The only other customers were a few single men working off their beers.

"You're starting to hate it there, aren't you?" Trixie bluntly asked Hinamori.

"Well... no- it's not that. I just-"

"Have been in one place for too long?" Trixie offered.

"I guess you could say that. It's just the same thing every night. I have absolutely _no _respect in that place! I mean, even the dancers look down on me! Why? Because I don't run around in a bikini and hooker boots? And Tamale has started to get the girls to take _everything _off in order to get in more business! It's just... sad."

Hinamori glanced up from her plate and looked across the table at Trixie who was resting her chin on her hand.

"So," Trixie started, straightening herself, "You want a job recommendation?"

Hinamori glanced down at her coffee cup that she held in her hands. She was worried about this "amazing" job offer... just look where the last one got her.

Cleaning up vodka, that's where it got her.

Needles to say, she could use a new job... maybe one that she could work at during the day...

And she trusted Trixie. Trixie became one of her closest friends when she still worked at the club. They had plenty of time to talk with each other while manning the bar and during Hinamori's early morning lessons in bar tending. Trixie had been in the same position Hinamori had been in... so, Hinamori looked up at Trixie and nodded, "Yeah, I do..."

–

Hinamori was lost.

She stepped on the subway, knew where she was going, got off the subway, and had no idea where she was. Glancing around at the buildings and signs, nothing registered with her keenly sharp memory, and she warranted herself lost. She found herself a bench along the sidewalk and hunted through her bag for the address that Trixie had given her of the office that she worked at that required a new mailroom clerk. Not fancy, but it was something. First, she rummaged through the front pocket, then the inside one. Then the side pocket. She checked her make-up bag and her jacket pockets. Then the front pocket again. She flipped through her daily planner and the smutty romance novel she had in her bag. She sat back for a moment and glared at her bag before ferociously digging through it's contents. Keys, mascara, chap stick, hollow radar, bottled water, pens, soul candy... but no address.

In pure anger at herself and her purse that seemed to eat very important items on very important occasions, she scrunched up her face and clenched her fists and let out a _highly _intelligent noise. It resembled that of a dying duck-pig cross breed.

After her small fit of internal anger, she sat back and watched the people walk by. Probably to the subway to go home, as it was getting late. They wore nice suits and carried briefcases. A fair majority were on cellphones or those funny ear things that made her think that people were talking to her, when they really were talking to their sister. (She had a few problems with those in the check-out lines at the supermarket.) They all had respectable jobs and she... she just blew her chance to have that out the window to be something other than... than a stripper.

Really, she just wanted to go back to Soul Society, where she was loved and respected. Where she knew everyone and didn't have to worry about such silly things as in the living world. She missed her captain's office and Adachi and... and her bed!

She shook her head and sighed, _there's no use thinking about that now, it will only make me homesick. … More homesick than I already am..._

Deciding she had sat there and moped enough, she shoved all her belongings back into her bag and stood up, thinking that maybe if she _saw_ the company name she could remember it. She slung her bag over her shoulder, smoothed out her pinstriped pencil skirt, and took off to the sound of her trusty Jimmy Choo's as she walked down the sidewalk.

After walking for what seemed like forever, Hinamori came across some sort of an office building. The name sounded familiar, _really _familiar, but Trixie had said this was kind of a … small place... and this place, in front of her, was... well, _massive_. She glanced around and nibbled on her lower lip indecisively. Well, she might as well try it. If it was the wrong place they would just throw her out, anyway.

With that, she pushed back her shoulders in confidence, gave a silent prayer of hope that she had the right place, and pushed open the glass doors.

–

Akito had just about had it.

He had been determined to be the one to hand-pick Hitsugaya's secretary, but all these women were such... half-wits. Not that Akito minded that for his own personal secretaries, but he had a feeling Hitsugaya would throw him out a window if he was presented with one of Akito's quote-unquote, dumb blondes. At least, that was what he told the people that he left with the job of interviewing the fleet of females after Akito gave up after about... twenty minutes. It was as if they all though this was a modeling interview! When asked if they had any prior secretarial work many stared for a moment, followed by a "Whaaautt?" of great intelligence. Apparently the word, 'secretarial' was enough to push their brain cells into overdrive. And to not risk any further damage to their _highly_ educated brains and _highly_ pristine vocabulary, they were escorted out. And as Akito watched them leave, he had to restrain himself from running after every single one of them to ask if they wanted to go get a drink. Apparently Hitsugaya could really rack in the babes.

"And he learned it all from me, the master!" Akito squee-ed in joy as he flopped into a chair near the many tables the girls were being interviewed at. He still wanted to watch... just not participate. Unless it was alone with one of them... or two... or maybe five... with a bottle of wine...

Snapping out of his fantasy, Akito looked up and wondered just _how _long he had mentally been in the jacuzzi with five blondes. The crowd of girls had thinned dramatically, in fact- only last-minute appliers were rushing in, apologizing for their lateness. Glancing down at his rolex watch, he was informed that it was eight in the evening, and the interviewers had been dealing with the applicants since seven that morning. It was definitely time to wrap things up.

Akito strutted to the center of the elegantly tiled lobby while loosening his tie as if he had been the one doing all of the work, much to a few interviewer's disgust.

Akito clapped his hands twice to get everyone's attention once he was sure he had reached the exact center of the room, "Alright everyone! The interviews are now over, done, and finished! Thank you for your assistance, and I trust that you did as I do, and not judge by appearances. We are looking for the secretary with the best _skills_, not the best looks. So please hand in the forms for only the people that meet that requirement. From the information you provide, I will be able to select the _perfect_ secretary for Hitsugaya!"

His audience was rather unenthusiastic, and really just wanted to go home. Without the applause and excitement Akito was expecting, he quietly walked around to all the tables and collected the forms. There were fewer than he had expected...

"Only _one_?!" Akito looked at the man with a look of aghast. There had been _many_ hotties go by his table...

The man looked at Akito. "Yeah, only one. You would not believe how idiotic those girls were. When I asked one girl what prior experience she had in the field, she told me that she had never had sex outside. And I laughed, because I thought it was a joke... but she was serious." With that, the man got up from his desk and left, leaving Akito with an astonished face. _Is he stupid? Having sex in a field is just what Hitsugaya needs! _

With all of the forms collected, Akito sat behind a desk and began going through them.

_Mahika Isonani... mother of three. Well, she's out. _Akito thought as he crinkled up her sheet into a ball and tossed it over his shoulder into a garbage can. _No mothers. They'll just be asking for time off for this school event, and to take care of this sick kid. _Akito rationalized. For once.

He had the pile of fifty-three down to ten finalists when the front doors to the building opened and a slim brunette walked cautiously in. She looked around the elegant foyer as if she had never seen anything as beautiful. Especially when her large eyes fell on the majestic chandelier high above Akito's head.

Akito's heart paused, did he know her from somewhere?

His heart leapt in fear, did he have a one-night stand with her and promise to call her when he had absolutely no intention of doing so but took her number anyway in order to get in the sack with her which worked and now she's out to get him because she is pregnant with his child?

Nah... she would have noticed him by now. Or, at least, he would have noticed the baby bump by now.

Akito stood up from behind his desk, "Can I help you, Miss?"

The woman's eyes fell from the chandelier to Akito. "Oh, yes, well I'm here for a job, but I'm not sure if I'm in the right place at all, or even on time..." She bit her lower lip after she trailed off.

Akito smiled and signaled to the chair in front of the desk, "Please, take a seat. I assure you, you are in exactly the right place."

Her smile was brighter and warmer than the glowing light from the chandelier as she sat down in front of him.

"What is your name, Miss?" Akito asked as he took out a blank resume form.

"Hinamori." The woman said, "Hinamori Momo."

--A/N--

I know, right? I'm just that awesome.

… my cat is licking her butt in excitement.

I laid off the energy drinks this chapter, but still drank a ton of coke and ate a few whole pizzas. Dominos ordering online is my weakness. Pineapple pizza is my favorite.

Thank you Thank you Thank you!

Reviews are always always always loved, as you know!

3


	20. 253

**Remembering Winter**

Chapter 20: 253

--A/N--

WHOO-HOO! Chapter TWENTY!

I am so excited for this chapter... and I have no idea what to write.

What I do know, however, is that I have some of the best readers in the universe to get my little story over 200 reviews! Yay!

For that, I am determined to get this chapter out by the end of today... which will probably mean tomorrow, knowing me.

Also, I am very sunburned. It kinda hurts to move.

I may take a bit of a break after this chapter. I plan to edit my first few chapters to get them up to speed, as well as write a smutty story for StrawberryAngelWings712's story-conglomeration-thingie, "Ten Minutes In Heaven". I am quite excited! I will post a link to sometime after August 8th, when the deadline is.

With all that fun stuff out of the way, enjoy chapter twenty!

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or any of the Bleach characters. ...Just Akito. As if that's anything to be proud of...

–

Akito pranced down the hall from his office to Hitsugaya's dodging people all the way. Pure excitement oozed from his pores, more so than usual, which was saying something for Akito. She was _perfect. _More perfect than Akito ever could have imagined! She was surely professional, had great experience, and was undeniably beautiful! Even Hitsugaya would be unable to coolly overlook her flawless skin, her high cheekbones cradling those wide, doe-like eyes... She really did look familiar from somewhere...

If only she weren't for Hitsugaya.

_I would give up all of my_ _secretaries for her!_ Akito thought as he continued to skip down the hall, nearly nailing a man carrying a stack of papers fresh from the copy machine. _Well... as long as I could keep Blonde # 2... and my readhead... And how long is this damn hallway, anyway?!_

–

Hitsugaya sat in his chair with his legs casually kicked up on his desk. Today had been slow. Not only at the law firm, but also in Hollow sightings. There had been one this morning, but it was already gone by the time he got to it. He was mainly just happy Akito's whole secretary interviewing thing was over, and life could get back to normal... Just with the addition of a secretary who he planned to get rid of as soon as Akito calmed down about the whole ordeal, anyway. Then life could _really_ get back to normal.

As far as "normal" and "life" could be for a Shinigami trying to blend into the human world. But that was an entire different thing.

Yawning, Hitsugaya rolled his neck and heard it crack in multiple places. He was so... _bored_.

_So bored I could kill someo-_

"Hitsugaya!" Akito burst into his office, looking as though he was about to have bladder failure.

_-So bored I could kill Akito. _

"Yeah?" Hitsugaya lazily looked up at him from underneath his white mop of hair, "What do you want?"

Akito's expression smoothed into a perfect smile that lit his face up to his silvery eyes. "I found her."

Hitsugaya stared for a moment before breaking into a chuckle, "Make it seem like you found the love of my life, why don't you?"

"Just give her a chance. I know you don't like this. But please... just try. For me. For her. For yourself."

Sighing, Hitsugaya slid his feet off his desk and stood up, slowly pushing his chair in under his desk.

"Okay. I'll talk to her, but I'm not going to like it. How do I look?" Hitsugaya stood before Akito in a rumpled blue button-up that revealed a bit of his chest casually. Akito looked at him from the neck of his shirt to his converse sneakers peeking out from under his black slacks.

"You look like you." Akito smiled, resisting the urge to button up his shirt all the way.

–

Hinamori sat in a beautiful office, but could hardly take in any of the décor, for her nerves were skyrocketing through her body. She knew that the walls were white with very large windows, and the orange chair she was perched upon was not very comfortable, but probably did wonders for her posture.

For the eleventh time, she flipped open her compact mirror and checked her reflection. She had little makeup on, but just enough at the same time. Smoothing her slightly wavy hair again, she clicked her compact shut.

_He's not going to judge_ y_ou on how you look... this is a professional job... not the strip club. Technically, Masahori-Sama already hired me, but his partner needs to talk to me. What was his name again? Masahori-Sama never told me. Damn it. I guess I can just call him "Sir" when he comes in, until he introduces himself, right? That could work. I hope I look okay._

As if it was a reflex, she reached for her mirror before stopping herself. Instead, she smoothed her hands down her knee-length wispy white skirt. She wore a matching white blouse and a thick belt at her waist that matched her five-hundred-dollar Jimmy Choo stilettos in shiny black leather.

_No wonder I have problems paying the rent some weeks... _Hinamori thought as she checked her black mesh knee-high stockings for any snags. She had an extra pair in her purse just in case.

_I look fine. I look good. Why am I so worried about this? Stop it, Hinamori! Stop it! You can kick a menos grande's butt into next week and you are petrified of what this little human has to say about you! You are the captain of the fifth squad! And whether or not you get this stupid mailroom technician job or not, you will always have that so _stop worrying!

The sound of the door handle turning startled her out of her internal bickering as butterflies erupted into her stomach in anticipation.

–

Akito lead Hitsugaya to the office door and left, not before assuring him once more that she was perfect with great excitement. Hitsugaya figured he would somehow be watching or listening to their conversation in the room...

Hitsugaya stood there in front of the closed door for a moment before reaching out a hand and resting it on the handle.

_Why am I so frightened?_

He hadn't been at first, he simply had a feeling of dislike. But each step that he took closer... he began to feel apprehensive.

_Psh, _He smirked inwardly, _frightened over some girl. Some silly girl who failed at becoming a model so she came here. She knows nothing about me, nothing. And she never will. _

_You're afraid. _A voice deep inside solemnly whispered. _You're afraid of letting people get close to you. You fear being hurt again. You fear being forgotten again. You're afraid to let anyone get as close to you as she was, because in the end she only abandoned you like the worthless thing that you are. You _deserve _this. _

_Shut up. _Hitsugaya crushed the deafening voice. _I just like my privacy. I like to be... _

_alone._

The single word froze all emotion surging through his veins. Hardening his resolve, building up the barriers. The surge of relaxing coolness washed over and through his body.

He was alone, and always would be. Nothing and no one could change that. He had always been alone...

_Not always..._The voice taunted once more.

_Yes. Always. No one has ever understood me, and I like it that way. _Much to Hitsugaya's relief, the disdaining voice faded away, smothered by his resilient resolve. Sighing a deep, cleansing sigh, Hitsugaya's firm hand pushed the door open and brilliant light flooded into the hall. Taking a step into the room, he glanced down at his hands as he felt his body tremble involuntarily, hesitantly- as if it knew something he didn't. A primal instinct.

Instantly, as if the bright light carried it, it hit him. His heart froze in his chest for a moment before instantly picking up at an unnatural pace, beating impetuously at his core. A strange warmth came over him, and he could feel feverish sweat bead on the back of his neck.

Without even looking, he knew.

Breathing shallow and rapidly, he looked up and every barrier he had forcibly set up crumbled at his feet.

"You're..." He choked out before he forced himself to inhale a shaky breath.

_Hinamori. _

She stood, mere feet away from him. Gleaming light from the windows behind her haloed her body, making her look like an angel. Like a dream.

_This isn't real. _

Even more beautiful than he could ever remember, than he could ever imagine. Her face had lost all traces of childishness. Refined cheekbones sat high on her face, framed by her feathery hair. Pale, unblemished skin radiated in the light on her swan neck. He was sure it was as silky as it looked. Her lips held a slight pout and her eyes...

The sharp ruby that he had known had eased into a deep amethyst over the years, and he stared into her gleaming eyes. She held is eyes in return, but no emotion was as vividly obvious as in Hitsugaya's. There was... nothing.

_Nothing_... A sharp pain stabbed into him, tearing open old scars he had covered up for years. _I'm still not there. _

As he was about to tear his eyes away, he saw her intake a sharp breath in pain, and a small convulse go through her body before her eyes fell dull and unfocused and her legs gave out beneath her. She fell forwards and before she could hit the ground, Hitsugaya caught her at the waist and set her down carefully on the floor.

_What... just happened...? _

That thought was soon disregarded as he drew his arms away, the warmth from her body still on them. It had been... thirty years since he last held her eyes, held her...

_Okay, stop it. She needs help. Why, I have no idea. I should be the one on the floor right now. She doesn't even know who I am? How did she get here, anyway? And why?_

… _Akito. _

In a flash, Hitsugaya was up and out the door. And there was Akito reading a magazine.

"So... how did it-" Akito looked up at Hitsugaya's face, "What happened? Are you alright?" He stood up from the chair he was siting on and dropped his magazine. "Hitsugaya? You look-"

"I know." Hitsugaya sharply cut Akito off. His voice was hoarse and strained. "Akito... she needs help. Call someone."

"What?! What happened? Seriously!" A bit of panic laced itself into Akito' voice before he pushed open the door to the office they were in. "What did you do to her?!"

"Nothing!" Hitsugaya was millimeters away from loosing all control. "Just... deal with it. _Please." _

The plea in Hitsugaya's voice and his distressed face forced Akito to nod, "Okay."

"Thank you..." Hitsugaya hoarsely whispered before he was gone.

–

Hinamori woke to a throbbing headache, and her body was strangely warm and cold at the same time. It was nauseating.

"Hinamori-San?"

_Who...?_

"Can you hear me?"

_Yes... who..?_

"Hinamori?"

_Hitsugaya. _

Her eyes fluttered open.

"Hinamori-San?" A very concerned Akito came into her vision "Are you alright?"

Hinamori nodded weakly. "Yeah... I think so."

A doctor appeared on her other side. "Miss? How are you feeling?"

"I-I'm alright, really. My head just hurts a bit. Nothing to worry about."

"Can you sit up?" Akito asked.

"I-I think so..." Hinamori murmured weakly as she got her arms in place to push herself up. She was happy Akito and the doctor were there to help her. Akito handed her a glass of water once she was rested against the back of the couch with Akito's suit jacket around her shoulders.

"Do you mind?" The doctor asked, holding up a sphygmomanometer to take her blood pressure with, and a pulse oximeter to measure her oxygen levels.

"No, go ahead." Hinamori murmured as she offered up her left arm before turning to Akito, "Thank you, Masahori-Sama. I assume you are the one who helped me?"

Akito smiled, "You can give me all the credit if you want, Hinamori-San. So... what happened, anyway?"

Hinamori furrowed her brow in thought, and a few biting pains made themselves known in her forehead. Instinctively, her hand reached up to her head.

"It's okay!" Akito fumbled at sensing her pain, "You don't need to talk about it!"

"No, It's okay. It's not that bad..." Hinamori meekly said, "Nothing happened. Someone walked in the room, and we just looked at each other."

"Who was it?"

"Well, I don't know."

"Sorry," Akito felt stupid around her, "Did he have white hair? Have an expression that would suit the devil nicely?" He chuckled at his own little joke.

Hinamori paused. "He did have white hair. But his face wasn't mean or anything like that."

Once again, Akito internally smacked his face.

"And nothing happened." Hinamori continued. "Neither of us said anything. He looked very troubled, I remember. As soon as he walked in the room my head started hurting a bit. It got worse and worse and I started feeling warm and dizzy while he was there. Then... he met my eyes and I blacked out. He didn't do anything, so don't be mad. But I'm sure he's angry at me. I probably blew my chances at the job, right?" She laughed sadly.

"I wouldn't say so." Akito murmured. "And plus, girls faint all the time for him, he's used to it!" Akito waited for her to laugh before he did this time, and when she did let out a giggle the room seemed to light up.

"Alright," the doctor said as he put his instruments away, "I don't know what happened to you there, but all the tests checked out fine, if not amazing. You ate breakfast this morning?"

Hinamori nodded.

The doctor pushed further. "More than a slice of dry toast with a non-fat soy latte with no whipped cream?"

Hinamori nodded again. "I had five pancakes with syrup, a few slices of bacon, two sunny side up eggs, a glass of orange juice, and two cups of coffee. With _extra_ whipped cream."

The doctor and Akito looked at each other before looking at her very slender waistline. "I'm satisfied. If there are any more fainting spells you'll need to go into the clinic and have some blood work done, alright?"

"Okay" Hinamori said, "Thank you for everything!"

The doctor nodded slightly as he shut the door behind him.

"So... will I have another chance to talk to the boss-man?" Hinamori asked Akito.

Akito nodded. "Even if he doesn't hire you for the job you applied for, we can still use you somewhere, I'm sure."

Hinamori beamed, "Thank you, Masahori-Sama!"

"Don't mention it. Are you able to walk? I could show you around the place, if you want!"

–

Hitsugaya pushed the pedal to the floor of his Bugatti Veyron.

The 1.7 million-dollar car's engine met sixty miles per hour in two seconds, but Hitsugaya kept going. The purr of the engine competed with the wind if the passing landscape that blurred as he met and passed one hundred and twenty. He was told this car could reach two hundred and fifty-three, and he wanted to take it there.

_Why was she there?_

200

_Why is she even in the living world?_

210

_Shouldn't she be back in Soul Society with her captain's seat and her pretty boy?_

220

_Why did Akito pick her of all people? I'd rather have a certified idiot who can't tell the difference between a coffee machine and a cell phone!_

230

_Actually, why did she even try to get that job, anyway? She wouldn't want to see me- she doesn't even _know _me! Was it some trick?  
_

240

_She will never remember me. So why do I have to keep going through this over and over again?_

250

_Why does she still hurt me?_

253

_Why am I alone?_

--A/N--

I am very proud of myself that I updated so soon. I couldn't wait to get this chapter written, actually.

And ohmigosh, music totally goes hand-in-hand with writing. I have 9 "writing" playlists in my itunes, each with a different emotion or something like that.

My top played song is Soundscape to Ardor from the Bleach soundtrack 3. It's gorgeous and can fit many moods, I've found. I swear, if you put that puppy on repeat while you read it will make it just that much better.

Thank you for reading. (And reviewing, if you so choose)


	21. Doctor's Orders

**Remembering Winter**

Chapter 21: Doctor's Orders

--A/N--

My story is officially of drinking age! Shunsui would be happy, not that he cares about age limitations, anyway.

Let's hope I can continue with this abnormally-speedy updating!

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. But it is a very good birthday gift idea...

–

Hitsugaya watched the gray smoke from his cigarette leak into the air before blotting into the surroundings as if it was spilled ink spreading through a sheet of paper. Ravenously, he took another deep drag and slowly let the silver vapor free, only to be swept away by the wind and dispersed into the air overhead. A cool breeze raked through the buildings and swept any remaining smoke upwards and away from the balcony Hitsugaya was poised on.

"I really wish you would quit that disgusting habit." A displeased Akito spoke from behind him.

Out of pure defiance, Hitsugaya took an immersing draw from his cigarette and harshly blew it out between his lips, making sure Akito saw.

"Yeah?" Hitsugaya asked dully as he watched the haze disperse overhead.

"Yes, I would." Akito said a bit sharply as he picked up an ashtray and set it on the balcony ledge, right next to Hitsugaya's elbow.

Glancing at the ashtray, then at Akito, Hitsugaya shook his head and gave out a breath of laughter. "Sure, I'll get right on that."

"I'm serious." Akito rebounded harshly.

Hitsugaya's icy eyes bore into Akito's silver ones. "I am, too."

Akito rolled his eyes. "What? About your precious cigarettes? I hate to tell you this, but your little friends are killing you."

"No." Hitsugaya's voice rose in volume, and he was happy they were on his balcony, and not in his office, "I'm not even talking about the cigarettes. But as long as we're on the topic of bad habits, maybe there are a few that _you _should work on before going after other people."

Akito looked taken aback. "Like what?"

"Like somehow managing to control my life that I _thought_ was gone, but then shows up at my front door-"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Akito cut Hitsugaya off with a very confused expression.

Hitsugaya paused as he smashed his cigarette butt into the ashtray. _I am being way to dramatic about this... If I keep this up Akito will think-_

"This is about the girl, isn't it!?" He paused to take in a gasp, "You two had a past together! Why didn't you tell me? No wonder she fainted! It all makes sense now!" Akito shouted, astonished.

Inside, Hitsugaya's heart paused for a moment, but on the outside he put up a very concrete front, perfected after years of experience. Turning to Akito, he gave him a look of disbelief. "Seriously? Do you really think I am capable of feeling such emotions as love?"

Akito gave out a laugh, "Maybe you weren't always so cold, ne?"

Hitsugaya leaned against the banister once more and looked out over the city. "Maybe not. But I still don't want her here."

"How can you say that?" Akito whined, "She's so nice and pretty and smart and … and everything!"

_I know._

"I don't care what you think. Go find someone else. _Anyone_ else." Hitsugaya's resolve was firm, and Akito knew it.

Akito sighed. "I don't understand you, Toshiro." He paused a moment, "So... if you don't want her can I-"

"-No."

"...Please?"

"No."

With an angry sigh, Akito compromised. "Okay, fine. But before you completely cut her out of the picture, just think about it. I don't know what's going on with you, but maybe you just got off on the wrong foot or something."

Hitsugaya opened his mouth to somehow manage to agree with Akito before he spilled out everything to the poor soul, when his hollow radar phone went off. Grabbing it out of his pocket, Akito looked at it in disgust.

"You still have that other phone line? You _have_ another cell phone, why have two?"

Hitsugaya flipped his phone open to find that there wasn't a hollow, but a message from Soul Society.

_It's been awhile since I've heard from them... must be important._

Hitsugaya looked over to Akito. "Do you mind?" He asked, signaling to his phone.

Akito, who had apparently still been making fun of Hitsugaya's 'other phone', looked up with an "oh", before walking back into Hitsugaya's office.

Once he made sure that Akito was really gone, and not somehow listening in on his conversation, Hitsugaya answered.

"Hitsugaya Toshiro, Captain of Tenth Squad speaking." Hitsugaya said, his voice claiming authority.

"Hello, Hitsugaya-Taicho. Are you available for a message?" A woman's voice peeped from the communications center.

"From who?"

"Unohana-Taicho of the Fourth Squad, Sir."

"Hai."

"Thank you, Sir. You will be connected momentarily."

Within seconds, Unohana's mother-like voice filled his ears.

"Hitsugaya-Taicho?" She asked.

"Hai, Unohana-Taicho. What can I do for you?" Hitsugaya asked, preferring to get to business quickly.

A small laugh was heard from the other side of the line. "Of course, Hitsugaya-Taicho. It's nothing too difficult, I assure you, as I would hate to burden you with more work than you already have in the living world. But I was just looking through some of my medical records and there are a few things that concern me."

Hitsugaya paused, in thought. Shinigamis did have regular check-ups, and Captains and Vice-Captains had them more often. Apparently having your riatsu limited could be detrimental to your health.

"There must be some error with your records, Unohana-Taicho, I had my riatsu levels checked when I returned for New Years, so there can't-"

"I'm afraid this does not concern your health, Hitsugaya-Taicho." Unohana gently interrupted.

Hitsugaya was confused. "Then... what does this involve?"

Hearing Unohana pause for a moment caused nerves to ramble through his body. "This involves ...Hinamori-Taicho."

_What is with this? She's like some never-ending nightmare..._

Hitsugaya's voice grew icy. "And this concerns me, how?"

"Well," Unohana started, "For a few reasons. By tracing your riatsu, I have been able to locate your positions and have discovered that you are near each other. Secondly, " Unohana paused, as if she was unsure of the correct way to continue, "This involves her memory."

"Okay... " _She's calling me about her memory? It's as gone as ever, that's for sure. _

"Yes, well, I'm sure you recall requesting me to erase her memories of you before you left for the living world...?"

"Hai..." Hitsugaya's voice was dull. _Why is she bringing that up?_

"Well, you see, that sort of manipulation is a two-step process. First the patient is given something very basic. It simply makes them fall asleep, and makes the unconscious mind susceptible for tapping into. I believe you saw me administer that to Hinamori-Taicho?"

"I... yes, I think so."

"Well, the second part is a kidou. Bakudou 67. It was used in the living world prior to modern medical technologies for erasing the memories of humans who got involved with a hollow, or were injured. The administrator is able to select the exact memories they wish to be erased, and for Hinamori it would have been all of the ones of you that she had made while recovering from her injury and... amnesia."

Hitsugaya swallowed, only to find his mouth dry, "What do you mean, 'would have been'?"

Unohana cleared her throat, "What I mean is that Hinamori-Taicho was never given the kidou part of the memory cleansing. Her memories were never erased."

"What?!"

"It was marked down in the records as complete and successful. No one is able to correctly and safely perform that kidou but myself in the medical division and I was going to do that part myself, but evidently while I was treating other patients Hinamori woke up. The squad member that dealt with her asked her routine questions about … about you, Hitsugaya-Taicho, to see if the memory deletion had worked... and Hinamori had no idea who you were. I _never_ performed the kidou, I can say that for sure. What I don't know, is why those memories passed on their own. "

She paused, and waited briefly for Hitsugaya to say something before continuing.

"There are a few possible reasons, of course. It had to have been very traumatic on her when you left... there's still her original injury that causes her much pain... both of those could harbor amnesia, and there are many more, very logical reasons why this happened. But what I'm concerned about are the questions that go along with this coincidence. To be exact, Why is it always you, Hitsugaya-Taicho, that has been forgotten by her own will?"

"Well," Hitsugaya managed to find his voice, "She forgot Aizen, too... " He felt like some child trying to put the blame on someone else.

"Yes. Those memories are still absent as well." She paused momentarily before continuing, "Tell me, Hitsugaya-Taicho, have you come in direct contact with Hinamori-Taicho in the living world?"

"Once. Yesterday afternoon."

"And, could you sense her riatsu before you saw her?"

Realization smacked Hitsugaya in the face. He hadn't sensed her. In fact, he hadn't even known she was in the living world until she was sitting in front of him. Even at that very moment... her riatsu was simply a flicker and she could be standing right next to him.

"I'll take that as a no." Unohana spoke softly.

"But... why?" Hitsugaya was rarely confused, and he didn't like the feeling.

"I'm not sure. All that I can tell you is that it seems as though her riatsu is intertwined with something. What, I don't know. It could be accidental... or not."

Hitsugaya tried to fathom what Unohana was saying. "So... Hinamori's memory loss and riatsu... problems are somehow related?"

"I'm not sure at this point. It seems highly unlikely, but stranger things have happened. I only realized Hinamori-Taicho's riatsu was different when we tried to locate her in the living world. She apparently was assigned to Karakura Town, however her report said for her to be stationed in Tokyo. She has the same assignment as you, Hitsugaya-Taicho."

"Yeah?" Hitsugaya fumbled in his pocket for another cigarette.

"Yes. When we needed to locate her position... we couldn't find her anywhere. We searched everywhere and there was no trace of her at all. Only yesterday afternoon... her riatsu flared for a brief moment and we were able to locate her. Did anything happen when you came in contact yesterday?"

Hitsugaya blew the smoke sharply out of his mouth, "Well, she fainted."

"She fainted?"

"Yes."

"Well that couldn't have been it- but it was something. We haven't been able to sense her since she left for the living world. In that moment, something must have happened in order for her riatsu to take control over whatever is masking it."

"So you think something is _trying_ to cover it up?"

"It seems like the most possible explanation. We've had Hollows in the past that have been able to manipulate Shinigami riatsu."

Hitsugaya leaned on the ledge of his balcony and stared down at the city. _Hinamori could be anywhere down there and I wouldn't even know. What kind of sick bastard-_

"Do you think Aizen-?" Hitsugaya suddenly had an epiphany.

"I... I don't think so. Aizen Sosuke has already used her for a part in his plan and... and I think he proved that he is done with her now..."

Pain caught in Hitsugaya's throat at the memory of finding Hinamori on the ground, soaked by her blood. Aizen stood nearby, his sword stained with crimson, and a grin upon his face that resembled Ichimaru's.

_Okay, okay... don't think about that. Don't even go there... _Desperately, the cigarette met his mouth in an attempt to fade the piercing anguish away.

On the other end of the line, he heard Unohana sigh, "I'm sorry I brought that up, Hitsugaya-Taicho, I'm sure it wasn't the most comfortable thing to hear."

"It's fine." His voice was as hard as stone.

"If... I might ask, are you able to be around Hinamori-Taicho now?" She asked tenderly.

"I... " Hitsugaya's voice faded. He had never really thought about the idea of keeping Hinamori in sight, only wanting her as far away as possible up to this point.

"I know it may be difficult for you, due to the past that you have had with her, but I really need help on something, and I'm afraid that you are the only one who can be of assistance."

"What do you need from me?" Hitsugaya asked, staying true to his job, but wanting to run as far away as possible.

"I need you to keep an eye on Hinamori-Taicho."

Hitsugaya practically choked on his cigarette, if that was possible.

"Excuse me?" He felt himself asking before he even realized it.

"Yes... I know it will be difficult for you to accept, especially under the circumstances... but I need your help. As does... Hinamori."

"Why? What does she need?"

"She needs to be watched, surveyed -if you will. The fact that her riatsu is being masked is a very concerning issue and she needs to be monitored carefully. Not only to make sure that she is not being _controlled_ by anything, but to also assess _what_ is happening and why. And, if anything can help her, it would be good to know."

Unohana finished with her speech, and awaited a reply from Hitsugaya, who had set his cigarette in the ashtray and was staring out over the city.

"Why me? Why am I the one who has to do this?" He asked with a hint of pain in his voice that went undetected by Unohana.

"Because... Well, to effectively be monitored, someone who Hinamori-Taicho doesn't know has to be the one watching her. But at the same time, the person examining her has to know her very well."

Hitsugaya let out a breath of sarcastic laughter. "I suppose that does narrow the options down to... me."

"Yes, it does. It is also convenient that you are in the living world, in the same city that she is in. Soul Society doesn't know that Hinamori-Taicho is in Tokyo instead of Karakura Town yet except for me, Kyouraku-Taicho, and Kurotsuchi-Taicho, as they helped me with putting the facts together. We hope to keep that between us for as long as possible so Soul Society will not relocate her to Karakura Town where she is supposedly placed."

"You aren't going to tell Soul Society that she isn't where she is supposed to be?"

"No."

"What if someone goes looking for her? You can't find her riatsu, so it's natural that someone would come to the living world searching for her."

"It's awfully hard to find someone without a trace of riatsu, wouldn't you say, Hitsugaya-Taicho?"

"Yes, but-"

"Don't worry." Unohana cut in, "It is all taken care of. All that you need to to is keep Hinamori-Taicho in sight. You can sense her when she is close, correct?"

"Slightly."

"Good. Then you need to keep her that close."

"Unohana-Taicho..." His voice pleaded, "I don't think I can do this... I have my other mission to do, and I really just can't do this. I'm sorry, but you'll need to find someone else to help you because I can't..." He trailed off, instantly feeling stupid for obviously showing his weakness.

"Hitsugaya-Taicho," Unohana's calming voice came through, "I understand the difficulty this would be putting you through, and I'm terribly sorry for even mentioning it."

Hitsugaya let out a breath of relief. _I'm off the hook. She finally realized how hard it would be for me to do this..._

"But-" Unohana's voice turned so soft it was deadly, "Just think how much harder it is for Hinamori-Taicho..."

–

Hitsugaya walked back into his office with a cloud hanging heavily above his head. No emotion ran through his body or his mind, leaving him feeling numb. There was no pain, and no anger. At the same time, there was no guilt that he had hardly noticed he had been harboring until it was let go.

_It wasn't my fault a part of her life was deleted... it wasn't by my hand that her memories were erased. _

A weight had been lifted from his shoulders, but another weight brought his soul below sea level and under water.

"You sure talked for awhile."

Hitsugaya was suddenly aware that he was not alone in his office as Akito's playful voice ran out. Perched in a white chair across from his desk, Akito's gray eyes slightly shimmered teasingly.

"Yeah?" Hitsugaya nonchalantly asked, running a hand through his snowy hair.

"Yeah. Who was it? Some dinosaur fossil calling you up on your prehistoric phone?"

If Unohana could be considered a dinosaur fossil, she would be a very pretty one.

"You know it." Hitsugaya played along.

Akito stood up from the chair and brushed imaginary lint off his gray slacks. "That's just a phone line for your mommy, isn't it?"

Hitsugaya looked at him with a very straight face. "I don't have a mother."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. I was raised by my grandmother."

"That must be why you are such an insensitive brute of a man!" Akito dramatically cried.

Hitsugaya rolled his eyes. "Yup. That's the reason. And why am I an insensitive brute now? I believe that is a new insult." He sat down in his office chair and kicked his legs up on his desk in his usual manner.

"Because," Akito started, sitting back down in his chair, "You do not care about the misfortune of others."

"Are we talking about Hinamori again?" Hitsugaya asked, cutting to the chase.

"Yes. We are talking about Hinamori-_San."_

"Sorry. Why are talking about Hinamori-_San?" _Hitsugaya forgot about formalities. Hinamori had many nicknames, and none of them involved 'San'.

"Well," Akito straightened his posture, "I personally feel that you disregarded her much too quickly. And the least that you could do is help her find another job elsewhere. But I understand that it's difficult for you to lift a finger for someone else's sake other than your own, but I feel that this could be a good growing experience for you."

"Hey!" Hitsugaya cut in jokingly, "I donate plenty of money a year to various charities. What more can you ask for? Cleaning the sides of highways? I think not."

Akito sighed angrily as he stood up from his chair and leaned over on Hitsugaya's desk. "I don't think you are understanding what I'm trying to tell you...! Just try to find Hinamori-San a job somewhere else!"

"I understand you perfectly, Akito-_San_," Hitsugaya replied in his calming voice of authority, "And I need you to understand me when I tell you that it will not be necessary." He didn't even bother looking at Akito's expression as he took out his scheduler and transferred dates on it from his Blackberry.

Akito quirked a brow questioningly. "And why is that?"

Pausing his work, Hitsugaya looked up at Akito, "Because she will be working here, for me, obviously."

Hitsugaya instantly went back to work with a satisfied look on his face. It was the first time Akito had ever been at a loss for words. Fumbling and making brief noises of surprise were the only sounds that escaped Akito for a few moments before he finally collected himself and only one question escaped him:

"_Why?!"_

Hitsugaya didn't even bother to glance up at him. "Well, obviously she deserves the job if you insist upon it so."

"Obviously." Akito murmured sarcastically and Hitsugaya couldn't help but break out a smile.

"Akito, don't you have better things to do rather than lounge in my office all day?" Hitsugaya asked, his voice laced with steel.

"Like what? I only ever come here to bother you."

"Yes, I understand that, but I don't really have the time for that today. Perhaps you should contact Hinamori-San to arrange for her training."

"Oh!" Akito instantly perked up, "I can do that!"

"I'm sure you can." Hitsugaya had to hold back laughter at Akito's five-year-old perkiness.

Within seconds, Akito's Blackberry was out and apparently Hinamori's phone number was on speed dial, since it was called so fast.

Hitsugaya shook his head. If he was going to be watching over Hinamori, he definitely needed to protect her from Akito.

–

Hinamori sat on the floor in her small apartment slouched slightly and glancing around the small room. Littered over her furniture and floor were boxes and tissue paper, a graveyard of spent money. A few Jimmy Choo shoe boxes on her bed, a bag from Prada containing a new skirt and a scarf in a corner, and boxes from Fendi with a new belt, blouse, sunglasses, and handbag sat in front of her.

"I have got to find something better to do when I'm upset rather than spending a couple thousand dollars." Hinamori murmured, picking up the Fendi handbag sadly before setting it back down into it's tissue paper. "I don't think I even have enough money for food."

She felt so depressed that she had completely messed up her interview at Hitsugaya and Masahori Law, that she had to go blow money on designer labels to cheer herself up. The salespeople at Jimmy Choo knew her personally now.

"I think I just need to take a relaxing bath." She murmured as she stood and walked to her bathtub in the corner of her large room, turning on her radio as she did so. Clair de Lune softly ebbed out from the speakers as the warm water poured from the faucet and formed bubbles on the surface of the rippling water. She slid out of her dress, and slipped beneath the surface of the water, shutting the faucet off with her toes.

This was what she needed. A relaxing soak with her favorite peach-scented bubble bath that was much less expensive than those fire-red Jimmy Choo stilettos.

Leaning back, she shut her eyes and let her mind dance with the soft piano music.

She was dancing to the gentle music, being swept across the floor in a beautiful gown. She was in the arms of a handsome man, a prince perhaps. No, he was a prince. She knew it. Everything about his actions told her so. His strong but gentle arms wrapped around her waist held her tightly close, but not painfully so as he commanded the dance. He could only be her Adachi, her darling prince. She looked up into his turquoise eyes and-

Turquoise?

Hinamori's eyes shot open. Now where did _that_ come from? Adachi's eyes were silver. Silver, silver, _silver. _And she knew that.

She let her eyes closed, ready to go back to her prince with the _silver_ eyes and her phone rang.

"Seriously?" Hinamori questioned to her cell phone lying on her bed, a mere seven feet away, but out of her reach nonetheless. "Ugh. I'll call them back later." She decided as she heard. the final ring and leaned back in the tub once again.

Until it rang again, that is.

"Oh fine!" Hinamori sighed angrily as she jumped out of the tub and threw her robe on as she lunged for her phone.

"Yes?!" Hinamori sternly called into the receiver.

"Good afternoon, Hinamori-San." A cool voice calmly spoke, contrasting her angry tone.

"Oh! H-Hello Adachi-Sama!" Hinamori's tone changed dramatically as a soft blush crept into her cheeks.

"Yes, Hello. I didn't interrupt anything, did I?"

"Uh... no. Not really. I was just in the bath, so I missed your first call."

"Splendid." Akito said, obviously not minding that he forced her out of her bath for his call. "I have a question for you Hinamori-San."

"Sure." Hinamori said as she rested her phone between her shoulder and cheek as she tightened her robe.

"When is the soonest day you have off? Assuming that you have a job...?"

"Uhm.." Hinamori paused, "Tomorrow. I don't have a job. I'm unemployed." She lied, preferring to not mention the strip club that she worked at. She planned to quit as soon as she had another job, anyway.

"Excellent. Your training needs to start right away."

"Training?" Hinamori questioned. Training for what? They had made it very clear that they did not want her mailroom technician services. Maybe they changed their mind? A strand of hope tied itself around her heart.

"Well for being Hitsugaya Toshiro's personal secretary, of course!"

The hope inside of her swelled before freezing. "Wait, what?"

"For being Hitsugaya Toshiro's personal-"

"Yes" Hinamori cut him off, "I heard you fine. But what's with this secretary business? I was only recommended to be a mailroom technician."

It was Akito's turn to be confused. "What are you talking about? You auditioned to be his secretary."

"No... I didn't. I was there because my friend recommended me for a position."

"As his secretary."

"No. As a mailroom technician."

"Well think of it as a promotion before you even start, then."

"But-"

"Look." Akito cut her off, "I don't know what you are talking about, but there is no one in our company who recommended you. That would have been on record. And there is no "mailroom technician" opening of which you speak, as the only position we are concentrating on at the moment is for Hitsugaya Toshiro's secretary which you _auditioned_ for, so stop playing hard to get, Hinamori-San."

Playing hard to get? What the hell was this man talking about? Fire blazed in her violet eyes. "Masahori-Sama," She started, her words traced with flame, "I would appreciate you not treating me like an imbecile. I know what I came there to do and-"

"Hinamori-San." Akito's strong voice sliced through her impetuous arguing like a knife. Once he was sure he had her silent attention, he continued. "I have a few things that will hopefully end this childish debate and convince you to work for me in the position designated for you. First, due to your unemployed status, shouldn't you be grateful that a job is coming your way, even if it is not what you had in mind? Many people would be happy to have a job selling hot dogs on the street corner, never mind a well-paying job at a successful law firm. Secondly, whether you realize it or not, you arrived for your... "mailroom technician" position the very same day we were holding interviews for Hitsugaya Toshiro's secretary position. A job which thousands of applicants were attempting to get and you were lucky enough to even get an _interview_, as they were over by the time you got there. And you did, and you were instantly above the other applicants in many aspects. I apologize for assuming that you were present for that position, and not some other job, but it seemed only logical. And finally, do you have any idea how much you will be paid for this position? Due to your costly choice of footwear, I would suggest you swallow your pride and make a sacrifice that will inevitably be to your benefit."

Hinamori was silent. What could she say? When she first met the man, she wondered how the hell he could be as good of a lawyer as he was claimed to be.

Now she understood.

"I will expect you tomorrow morning at nine, Hinamori-San." Akito finished, sealing the deal.

"Hai, Masahori-Sama. Where will you be expecting me?"

"The suites on the top floor."

"I'll be there."

Hinamori hung up the phone with disgust. Since when was she put in her place? She was the captain of the fifth squad! She demanded respect! And just who did he think he was?

She hesitated as she let her phone drop onto her violet silk blanket on her bed. Nothing from Soul Society mattered here in the living wold. There, she was a high-ranking captain; powerful and just. She was seeing a prince, whom was undoubtedly going to propose to her. She was practically already considered royalty! But here... she was nobody. There was no past for her here, as well as no future.

_It's sad_... she thought as she started walking to her closet and tripped over a box. Glancing down at the open Jimmy Choo shoe box, she smiled.

Maybe life here wasn't _too_ sad.

--A/N--

I hit nine pages on this one, guys. I knew it was going to be out a bit later than anticipated so I made it extra long for you! (I was up at my cabin on the border of Minnesota, US and Manitoba, Canada. There isn't much up there, including Internet access.)

I hope you enjoyed it, even with all of my little twists!

Thank you for reading! (And reviewing, for those that do!)


	22. Raw Nostalgia

**Remembering Winter**

Chapter 22: Raw Nostalgia

--A/N--

Hm. Not much to say this time around...

So i'll let a song do it for me! *brief clapping*

The song of inspiration for this chapter is Ungodly Hour – The Fray.  Youtube or Lastfm it, yo.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or The Fray. I do, however, own Akito and Adachi.

–

Hinamori scurried up the crowded sidewalk in the frosty winter air. Her boots snapped the frosty sidewalk in rapid beats as she huddled in her coat and tucked her scarf over her nose. Wisps of her breath leaked out and twirled in the air, mingling with the vapor from the cups of Starbucks she carried.

Just one of her secretarial jobs. Not that fetching coffee on her way to work had anything to do with being a secretary...

It wasn't that bad, though. For the month she had been at Hitsugaya and Masahori Law there had only been a few major lines at the coffee shop, which resulted in her being late to her desk. Masahori-Sama was much forgiving. Hitsugaya-Sama was quiet and cold as usual. He liked to be left alone, that was for sure. At least from her company.

"Good morning, Hinamori-San!" The doorman said cheerfully as he pulled open the door for her.

"Good morning, George!" Hinamori replied with a smile as she handed him one of her coffees. "This is for you. It's too cold out to not have something warm to drink!" George was more than grateful.

Although she had only been there weeks, many already knew her and liked her. Maybe some didn't like her, but they were nice simply because they didn't want anything bad getting back to Hitsugaya-Sama. But she did her best not to give them reasons to dislike her. Especially Hitsugaya. And yet, he seemed to hate her.

The elevator trip to the top floor went quickly, and before she knew it she was in the crisp sitting room. She exchanged greetings with one of Akito's secretaries of the blonde variety and walked over to her desk, sliding off her jacket the way over. She pressed the message button on the phone and opened her laptop to begin work. When Akito had first sat her down in front of her computer, she looked at it as though it was something from Mayuri's lab. It was rather embarrassing, but Akito somewhat understood. "You're a windows person, huh?" he asked with a chuckle, "Meet your Mac."

She had no idea what he was talking about, but apparently a Mac was right for her, as she understood quickly what to do with it.

_If only they had these in Soul Society! Paperwork would go much faster!_

In general, she liked learning about how the living world worked.

Speaking of work... she grabbed two still-steaming cups of coffee and briskly walked to Hitsugaya's office door. Carrying both cups in one hand, she grabbed the day's newspaper and knocked twice.

"Yes?" His husky voice seeped through the glass door as she pushed it open.

"Good morning Hitsugaya-Sama, Masahori-Sama." She murmured with a small smile as she walked into the dark-as-usual room.

"Good morning, Hinamori-San!" Akito exclaimed as he practically leapt off of Hitsugaya's desk, sending a few papers flying in Hitsugaya's scowling face. "What did you bring me today?"

"A white chocolate mocha." She said as she handed him his coffee before walking over to Hitsugaya's desk. "Good morning, Hitsugaya-Sama."

Her voice was soft and gentle, careful. She felt as though she was dealing with a skittery rabbit. One false step, one noise too loud and he was out of there. With visible effort, he looked up at her, his eyes not quite meeting hers. "Good morning."

Smiling, she set his cup in front of him before she bent down to pick up the papers Akito had scattered. "As usual, plain black coffee for you, Sir. Though I can't understand how you like the stuff."

"Nor can I!" Akito chimed in brightly. Hitsugaya glared at him. His narrowed turquoise eyes sent a small shiver down her spine. _The color of the ocean... _

She mentally shook her head. There was something wrong with her. "Alright, well I better get to work. I still have some packets from yesterday to finish. So if you'll excuse me..." She turned on her heel and headed for the door.

"Hinamori-San?" There was _something_ about his voice.

"Yes?" She turned and hid the ebbing warmth rising into her cheeks.

"We have a meeting at noon with an investor. I need you to be there to take notes." His voice was hard as he looked through the papers she had put back on his desk. Eyes of ice focused on the papers, one hand raked through his white hair. She couldn't help but wonder how soft it was as those eyes turned slowly to her.

It was then she realized she hadn't answered.

Clearing her throat, she looked away and felt heat rising into her cheeks. "Yes, of course. Is that all?"

She waited for his slight nod before she turned and left.

–

Akito waited for the glass door to softly shut before he turned to Hitsugaya. "So."

Hitsugaya scowled. He knew what was coming. "What?" He didn't even bother looking up.

"What's your deal?" Akito didn't sound mad. Just genuinely concerned and curious. "Why don't you like her?"

"It's not that I don't like her." _I like her too much. _

"Then what is it? I know you resented the idea of having a secretary, but are you willing to disagree that she does amazing work?"

"No. She's very good at her job. And that's all this is. A job. I don't need to be her friend, nor her mine." He straightened in his chair.

There was a long pause between the two friends. Hitsugaya could feel Akito's silver eyes on him, green with sadness. "Then... I guess that's your loss. Because she already cares about you. And if you can't even see that, you don't deserve to be her friend."

Hitsugaya could feel his guard slipping. He picked up a paper to read. He needed to get his mind off of the topic. Swallowing hard, he attempted to read the words but the letters made no sense.

His panic ceased as he felt a hand on his shoulder. "You've been hurt before."

"...Yeah."

"How bad?"

"Bad enough."

Akito nodded as he moved to lean against the edge of Hitsugaya's desk. "It happens sometimes. Unfortunately, it's the times that you give all you have to that person that they leave you."

It was then that Hitsugaya realized he wasn't the only one who had ever felt the sickening pain of heartbreak. "What happened?"

Akito solemnly walked towards the window and looked out. He turned, his silver eyes ebbing green in sadness. "She died."

The words took Hitsugaya aback. She _died_. He couldn't even imagine how he would be if Hinamori... oh god, if Hinamori had died. She had come close, that was for sure... He glanced out the glass door just to make sure she was still there. And she was, sitting at her desk. Alive.

Before the question could even slip from Hitsugaya's mouth, Akito answered. "She got sick, and couldn't get better. The last few days was just us in a small hospital room. She was hooked up to all these monitors and … it was rough to be there. But I stayed. "

Hitsugaya stood and walked over to his friend. "You loved her until the very end, Akito. She will remember that forever."

A small smile composed itself on Akito's face. "Yeah. I don't know how much I believe in that afterlife stuff... But for her, I hope she's someplace lovely."

Hitsugaya smiled, knowing firsthand how lovely Soul Society was. "It's lovely."

"Then she deserves it. She was an extraordinary person. You actually remind me of her a bit." Akito smiled brightly.

"I'm not sure if I should be flattered or creeped out..."

Akito laughed softly before letting a slight silence into the room as he seemed to stare his reflection in the window down. "I guess that's why I never really stay with one person. I have my flings... but they never last long. In the end they're just after the money and magazine covers." He breathed softly. "I guess I'm like that because I can't have who I really want."

Akito stared for only a moment longer before dramatically changing to a brilliant smile. "Not that any of my dreary stories should stop you from going after Hinamori-San!"

With an exaggerated sigh Hitsugaya rolled his eyes. "What if she's just after the money and magazine covers?"

"She's not." Akito's voice was sure.

Hitsugaya, who had begun walking back to his desk, stopped and glanced over his shoulder. "Oh?"

Of course, he knew she wasn't into the material things Akito mentioned, but it was a good reason to steer clear of her and not have any awkward questions. Hinamori didn't really understand things like that.

Yet, at least.

"I'm not even getting into this with you." Akito murmured as he moved to the glass doors to leave. "I just know."

With a quick wink he slipped out and paused by Hinamori's desk on the way to his office. He had gracefully leaned over her desk as she smiled brilliantly up at him, ignoring her work for a moment.

Hitsugaya had no idea what they were talking about, but he didn't like it. Hinamori worked for _him. _"Work" being the key word.

What was wrong with him? She could have a little break, right? There was no need to get worked up over something so small.

As if it was a magnet, his eyes slipped to the glass door, where Akito was now sitting across from Hinamori, who was laughing.

_Ignore it. _He told himself as he flipped his laptop open. _Ignore it. Ignore it. Ignore it. _

What was this nauseating feeling? His fists subconsciously clenched simultaneously with his jaw as he avoided looking out the glass door with all his might.

_I need a cigarette. _

Desperately, he patted his pockets and checked his desk drawers. No cigarettes.

"_Damn." _He murmured with slight venom.

Today sucked, he realized as he set his head down on his desk uncharacteristically. He had to put up with Hinamori who was too damn sweet for her own good, let alone his control. He wasn't one for the sentimental fluff, and he and Akito were swimming in it this morning. He was feeling jealous of his best friend, and he was out of bloody cigarettes.

"Hitsugaya-Sama?"

Heartstrings clenching, he winced, his face still buried in his desk. Hinamori's voice was too sweet, and for years he had wanted to hear that delicious voice address him as authority. Now as the words of her submission hung heavy in the air, he wished she had called him 'Shiro-Chan'.

"Yes, Hinamori-San?" He practically forced the 'San'.

"Um... are you alright?"

He lifted his head. She stood there in her adorable white blouse and pencil skirt that hugged her subtle curves tightly. Head tilted, with a somewhat worried expression that reflected in her violet eyes.

"Yes. I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

A glass of water was presented with some aspirin. "You look like you have a really awful headache."

Hitsugaya glanced at the aspirin as his head throbbed vividly. "All I really need is a cigarette."

A brow arched wickedly. "Drink that whole glass of water and I'll consider it. It's easier than you think to get dehydrated. And since the only drink you have had today is a large black coffee, you are already on your way."

"I'm fine." Hitsugaya murmured roughly as he fought to keep his head vertical.

"Really now? Then how come you haven't noticed that it's ten after noon?"

Hitsugaya looked at her like she was insane. "And why would I care that it's ten after-...shit." Realization smacked him in the face as he remembered the meting with the investor. As fast as if it were Shun-po, Hitsugaya launched himself from his chair. But even faster, Hinamori pushed him back down.

"Hinamori?! What the-" He started angrily before she cut him off.

"I called down to the meeting room a few minutes before noon and I informed Mr. Andrews that you were feeling ill. One of Masahori-Sama's assistants offered to give him a tour of the building, and he was more than happy to oblige. The meeting is re-scheduled for one o'clock. Now I would suggest you sip that water slowly."

For a moment, he simply stared at her. A small, proud smile formed upon her lips. She could tell he was impressed.

How couldn't he be? The woman standing in front of him had blossomed from the girl she used to be. Leaving her insecure and timid shadow behind, she had turned into an intelligent and beautiful woman- confident in herself and her abilities. A true captain.

Sipping the water, he never let his gaze falter from her face. "Happy now?"

She giggled in her old way, brightening the room. "Very. I'd be happier if you took the aspirin, though!"

Even though she seemed to be an entirely new person, her old self still reflected in her eyes. Her sweet demeanor, selflessness, and playfulness were still there. He had fallen in love with her then, and she hadn't even blossomed yet.

Instantly, his heart clenched. He was never in love with her. No. That was just... suicidal. And here he was, having a lovely little chat with her. What the hell was wrong with him? No matter what happened in their past, she didn't need to haunt his present by bringing back all this old nostalgia he had buried somewhere deep in his heart.

Hinamori seemed to be able to sense the change in him. A fisted hand rested itself nervously at her breast.

Grimacing, Hitsugaya noted it was another old habit of hers.

"H-Hitsugaya-Sama?"

Her voice trembled. She was afraid of him. Just as well. Maybe if he scared her enough she would go running back to Soul Society to the comforting arms of her _prince_.

Another pulse of anger tore through his veins, throbbing in his head. He knew his searing anger was chilling the atmosphere all around him.

And yet, when he looked to Hinamori, expecting fear in her eyes- he only saw saddening compassion.

Timidly, her hand at her chest moved to his clenched hand on his desk. Just at the slightest touch of her silky skin against his hand, his muscles relaxed, heartbeat calmed, and a yielding warmth spread through him.

Reminiscence, once more, embraced him.

And it felt too damn good to be right.

He couldn't bring himself to meet her eyes, but he already knew what was in them. And he knew that if he dared a glance into their amaranthine depths, he would be lost. It would take all of his restraint and more to keep himself from pulling her delicate frame into his arms and hold her, protect her, and beg her to remember what they had.

Gently, with his free hand, he grabbed her wrist and lifted it off his hand. He did his best to not touch her unnecessarily, as he only used his thumb and index finger against her thin wrist, before setting it aside.

He didn't even want to look at her face. For a moment, he stared at his desk as an awkward silence slid into the room until Hinamori inhaled a somewhat shaky breath.

"I..." She started, but went nowhere with it.

"Don't." Apologizing would just hurt more than the absence of her hand on his already did. He glanced down, expecting to see a gaping burn, scarring as he breathed. Apologizing for what she did would only tear it open once more, bringing more pain with it. "Don't worry about it."

"But I-"

Before her words could rise his anxiety even more, she was cut off by their hollow radars' shrieking alarm, simultaneously going off.

_Oh... damn. _

The one thing Hitsugaya had never taken into consideration. Hollows. They still popped up, more so than usual at that with two captain-level shinigami in close proximity. But he and Hinamori had never been together when one appeared. And unless he was very close to it, he let her take care of it.

Glancing towards her, he refused to look up at her face. "Important call?" He questioned- playing it off that her phone was the only one that rang. "Perhaps you should take it elsewhere than my office."

Her body was rigid, he could tell that much. "Hai." She murmured quickly before disappearing, most likely thankful for both the alarm and his giving her an easy escape.

–

The mere hollow was little more than a daily routine, and yet as Tobiume sliced through it's skeletal mask adrenaline pulsed through Hinamori's veins sharply; adrenaline left over from her less-violent activities of the afternoon, but no less deathly.

It was like she lost her sanity when she was around him. She had no reason to be nice to him at all, as he was such a jerk to her in return. A big jerk. The biggest jerk she had ever met!

She swiped her sword down sharply, forcing the deep purple hollow blood to slide off her sword before sheathing it. He made her so... so angry!

...And yet...

And yet, no matter how coldly he treated her, she just came back with warmth. All she wanted to do was get through the ice that encased him and make him see that there was more to life than black coffee, cigarettes and overly expensive cars.. There was mocha-lattes and sunshine, long walks in the park, and love.

_Love?..._

… Either way, there was more than what he saw. And as a human, with such a short life span, he shouldn't waste his life like he was right now, right?

_Of course I'm right. I'm not just some strip-club bartender-_

Hinamori stopped her internal ego-boosting to check her watch. She had to be at the club tonight at nine. She got off at the office at nine. That meant either leaving the office early, or arriving at the club late. Then she would get off at two and hopefully catch a few good hours of sleep before making her Starbucks run.

_Argh... I hate the living world._

The day after she had gotten her less-scandalous, and better paying job at Hitsugaya and Masahori Law, she went to the club to quit.

Tamale, however, had different plans. She ranted for some time about a contract and whatnot, but Hinamori was too angry to really listen. How _dare_ anyone tell _her_ what to do! Especially some lowly human who didn't realize that Hinamori held their life in her hand. That thought brightened Hinamori's mood a bit, letting her tune into Tamale's tirade to catch, "And do you have _any idea _how long it would take to find another bartender?! Any idea _at all_?! Not only to _find one_, but to _train one_?! That's a month gone right there!"

That was when Hinamori finally spoke up. "So you're saying that once you hire a new bartender and I train her, I can leave?"

Tamale briefly fumbled for her words. "If you want to. You never know, you might change your mind by then."

Hinamori highly doubted that she would change her mind. She would have stormed out of that place and never returned had it not been for her orders to 'blend into society'.

Like _that _was easy.

So here she was. Fifth squad's captain Hinamori Momo, of the Gotei 13... working at a strip club. A _certified_ strip club.

_Ugh. _Hinamori groaned internally as she Shun-Po'ed back to her gigai. _If Soul Society found out about this I would die of humiliation... _

Or her deathly attractive boss for that matter.

… Actually, that one might be worse.

–

Ta-Da!

Only six pages for you this time. I decided to lay off the intense drama stuff that was jam-packed in last chapter, and give you fluff. (As much fluff as I can give you at this point in the story due to the awkwardness...)

Hope you enjoyed it!

Thanks for reading! =3 I love you, my readers!

Small note: I was looking at my hits and visitors the other day, and I noticed that someone from _Malta_ reads my story. Malta person, you are awesome. As is everyone who reads this who isn't from the boring old USA.

Okay. USA is pretty cool, too.

Let's just go with everyone. You are all totally rad. 3


	23. Thinning Ice

**Remembering Winter**

Chapter 23: Thinning Ice

--A/N--

Hello all! I am very excited to get this chapter out to you, as I can't wait to get feedback on how you liked it! (I'm sure you will!)

This time around I've decided to dedicate this chapter to PhoenixSong4232 due to her just plain amazing-ness. She has been one of my top reviewers constantly for every chapter; offering personal opinions, as well as heartfelt reactions to the emotions I do my best to imply. I simply adore reading her reviews, as they make me feel like I'm doing something that helps someone as much as it helps me. Thank you, Phoenix! Every reader is in debt to you for providing me with inspiration and willpower!

Song(s) for the chapter:

Decode by: Paramore. For first part of chapter. (I never saw Twilight. Just like the song.)

Enough For Now by: The Fray. For second part of chapter. (I like The Fray a bit...)

And that's all! Enjoy the chapter!

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of the characters from it. But I did just draw a totally awesome SzayelPony.

–

Hinamori sat rather slouched in her chair that she gently spun back and forth with one high-heeled foot. It had now been a little over two months that she had been working in the office, and for the first time, she was bored. There was absolutely _nothing _for her to do except answer the phone. And her office phone rarely rang. Sure, people called and demanded to speak to Hitsugaya Toshiro, but their call was generally accepted by someone in public relations. The only calls that came through to her phone were urgent messages, important clients, or personal calls. Needless to say, calls did not come frequently.

_Why am I even here...? _Hinamori couldn't help but groan internally as she tapped her fingernails on her desk impatiently as she waited for Solitaire to open on her laptop. Hey- if she was paid to sit here, she might as well do something to prevent her dying from boredom. Not that she didn't appreciate the small break. When Hitsugaya was in his office she was always running around doing one thing or another with little more than a 'thank you' in return. In fact, he practically ignored her existence on a daily basis, however much she tried to talk to him. He was quite the stubborn one.

Just as she was about to make her first move, the double glass doors leading into the office foyer swung open as Hitsugaya made his entrance. Reflexively, Hinamori stood and greeted him, earning a slight nod as he handed her his pinstriped jacket.

"How did the meeting go, Hitsugaya-Sama?" She asked as she hung up his suit jacket and handed him a file of important messages.

"Fine." He murmured in that husky tone of his as he attempted to remove his silver tie, to no avail.

"Did Masahori-Sama pin it to your shirt again?" She questioned, not being able to restrain a smile.

"No." He murmured, not angrily- just slightly annoyed, "Glue this time."

Hinamori burst out into laughter at the mental image of Akito sneaking into Hitsugaya's closet, gluing his tie to his shirt.

Hitsugaya was less amused. "Is there a spare shirt in the closet?"

"Hai." She quickly ceased laughing and wiped the smile from her face as she fetched his spare turquoise dress shirt from the closet.

She handed it to him and was shocked as he slid off his shirt to change right there and then. A steady, heated blush stole her cheeks as his muscled chest was revealed.

She wasn't able to comprehend any thought as her eyes groped at his slightly tanned skin, chiseled by the muscles underneath. Feelings she had never felt before awoke in the depths of her stomach as her eyes discovered a trace of white hair that descended below the waistline of his pants, daring her fingertips to reach out and touch the soft white dusting of hair...

Her eyes snapped away as she realized where they were leading her. If the burning in her cheeks could have gotten worse, it did. Attempting to swallow, she found her mouth dry and impassive. His eyes were on her- she could feel their icy depths burning her skin, but she refused to look at them in fear that she would simply puddle at his feet.

"Hinamori?" There was no pronounced emotion in his voice, yet a throw pillow on a chair held Hinamori's attention.

"Y-Yes?" She practically whimpered after a long pause, somehow working up the nerve to glance in his direction. To her surprise, he wasn't looking at her questioningly.

"This is Akito's shirt."

_I don't care _who's _shirt it is! Just put something on!_

"O-Oh, is it really?" She fumbled, trying her best to keep her eyes above his neck. "Let me go find yours."

Hinamori practically ran to the closet, and wanted to climb inside and sit there, dwelling in her embarrassment for about an hour. However, that was not an option. Quickly, she found his shirt. It was the same color as Akito's, just a nicer material, she noted as the silkiness of the shirt rubbed against her hands. It almost felt like a Soul Reaper uniform. By the time she walked back to him, she had regained her composure and was rid of the clawing scarlet in her cheeks.

"Here you go, Hitsugaya-Sama." She said professionally as she fought the dull desire to glance down at his chest once more. "This one is your's, correct?"

He nodded briefly as he slid the shirt on and began buttoning the tiny buttons. A frustrated frown appeared between his already angled brows as a button gave him trouble.

"Here." She said lightly as she reached out. "Let me."

–

What could he do?

Slowly, as if her voice had cast a spell over him, his hands fell to his sides as her nimble fingers began coaxing the buttons through the silky fabric.

As she worked, he glanced down at her. Teeth gently bit her bottom lip as she worked. Was that a common habit of hers? A confused expression came over her face as she paused, her head tilted, before a grin spread over her face.

"It was buttoned wrong." She laughed slightly as she began unbuttoning what had already been done.

"I suppose that was my fault?"

"Most likely." She teased, smiling up at him.

Hitsugaya wasn't sure if it was her brilliant smile devoted to him, or their close proximity- but he had the tickling urge to reach out and hold her in his arms. She was so petite- her head barely came up to his shoulder, and she was in some serious high heels. It seemed as though she hadn't grown at all since he saw her last.

_She would fit perfectly in my arms..._

He could imagine it. Her face pressed against the nape of his neck, her slender waist completely enclosed in his arms. Soft and yielding, her body against his granite chest... it was something he had not felt in a long time. Years ago, she scarred his body with her own, but how he _ached_ to burn his body, let her paint her impression on him once more...

His heart had finally defeated his mind. All walls of resistance and rationalization were reduced to mere shreds after the months of restraint he had endured.

_Stop. _A quiet voice warned in the back of his mind, but it was too late to begin to stop. All his life he had yielded, now it was his turn to fight back.

Slowly, his hands rose from his sides, tingling with the urge to feel the soft satin of her blouse. But even more, they wanted to feel the tantalizing silk of her skin beneath. With a steady thumping, his heart took up an overwhelming pulse that echoed through his entire being, hairpin curving at the nerves at the tips of his fingers, already swelling with yearning. Inching slowly, his hands severed the aura of her body and were about to touch...

She stepped back abruptly. "All done!"

He simply stood there, his hands slightly lifted to the height of her waist. All anticipation and desire that had been scrambling recklessly around inside of him froze. The air suddenly became very thin as nausea gripped him as he realized what he was about to do.

Hinamori had moved back behind her desk and was chatting about something. However, the sudden rapid beating of his heart deafened him to anything else.

_What... what happened? _Rapidly, he began building back up the fallen walls in defense from her. _This wasn't supposed to happen. This can't happen. I can't have feelings for her. _

"Right, Hitsugaya-Sama?" His name ripped him from his thoughts. She had been talking about something, and when he didn't reply, she looked up at him from the papers on her desk. At first a brilliant smile lightened her face, but as soon as her eyes met his, the smile vanished and her brow furrowed in slight worry. "Hitsugaya...Sama...?" She practically whispered as her lips parted, confused.

Whatever expression was on his face, it had been obvious. In a flash, Hitsugaya wiped it clean, leaving only his sharp eyes and slanted brows.

"What?" He spoke, a bit harshly in a hoarse voice.

His coarse tone obviously cut at her, but she blinked it away. "What is it...? Are you alright?" She took a step towards him.

"Stop." His tone practically shouted. Her eyes widened in fear as she froze, her body rigid.

"What-"

"I don't need you. I don't need you in my office. I don't need water, sympathy, or my shirt buttoned. I liked my life the way it was before you came along. This is your _job_, not some road to fame, borrowing off me. I don't need your help or your trust. And I don't want it. Stop trying to be a part of my life because no matter what you do, you will mean nothing to me. _Nothing."_

The furious tone of his voice hung sharply in the air as he breathed heavily, trying to recover from whatever just happened. He didn't want to look at the aftermath of what he destroyed. But he had to. He had to seal the deal.

Closing his eyes, he raised his head, and slid them open. Deep violet stared into his eyes, and he felt as though she was staring into his soul. Body stiff, she stood tall, her hand leaning against her desk for support. Traces of frustration flared in her eyes and reddened her cheeks briefly before softening slightly as she lowered her eyes to the floor.

"My humblest apologies, Hitsugaya-Sama." Her voice was rigid, laced with defeat as she bowed her head to him.

He didn't even want to know what would be in her eyes when she looked back up, nor did he want to risk witnessing it. Without a word, he stalked to his office, leaving her still trying to comprehend his painful words.

–

Weakly, she slid into her chair as a splitting headache cracked through her head.

_What... just happened?_

The truth was, she didn't even know. One moment he was staring at her with an expression completely new to his face, and the next moment he was angrier than usual.

Tears pricked at the back of her eyes, an aching reminder of the difference. She relied on him. Maybe he wasn't the easiest person to get along with, but she felt that somewhere deep inside, he was an amazing individual. To bring that person out into the open had been her goal since... well, since she really did like him. Although she had no reason to. He treated her like she was nothing to him which, ironically, he had just told her she was.

The sad part was that... he was one of the only friends she had in this place. But he had disregarded her friendship as well as her existence. So she was left holding her trust, thrown back at her- bruised.

It hurt. More than she wanted to admit.

She didn't understand what he had accused her of. How could she become famous by being his friend? She couldn't exactly say that she had been trying to become a part of his life... but she just wanted to get to know him, and let him know her. Was that such a crime? And did it really deserve that kind of reaction?

"Hinamori-San?" A calm voice asked her.

Her head rose. She had been so wrapped in her thoughts that she hadn't noticed Akito enter. "Masahori-Sama."

His lips held a soft smile as he looked at her. But soon a slight furrow appeared between his brows. "What's wrong?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing. I'm fine!" She attempted to force a smile, but she knew it was lackluster.

Slowly, his hand reached out to her face and gently brushed away a tear that she didn't even know was there. "What did he do?" He asked, a lethal tone underlying his sympathy.

"Thank you for your concern, Masahori-Sama, but I'm fine. Now if you'll excuse me..." Hinamori stood and sped past him to head for the bathroom to hopefully gain control herself after she cried alone for a while.

–

"What did you do to her?!" Akito's voice reverberated in Hitsugaya's office.

Akito's eyes blazed silver in pure anger. Hitsugaya nonchalantly stared back.

"You have done _nothing_ but ignore her for _two months_. And she takes it! She somehow manages to put up with your complete stupidity, and even _likes _you! I haven't a clue what she sees in an empty shell like you, but for some reason she has tried non-stop to be your friend. And what do you do? Throw it back in her face. Honestly, I cant even begin to fathom you."

Akito was seldom angry, and had never been angry with Hitsugaya before. Yet, Hitsugaya sat calmly in his desk, casually. Akito, however, was raging, his eyes the color of steel, his voice lethal and threatening.

"She is here for a job, Akito, not friendship. This is not high school, in case you have forgotten." There was a numbness in his voice that was rather unaccustomed to him.

Akito's eyes softened to a pale green as he lowered his voice to a deep tone. "Maybe by your definition of her position. If it was customary to be ignored and yelled at, why would she be crying?"

Hitsugaya's eyed widened as his heart seemed to seize in his chest. "She's crying?"

"What did you expect? She's not the type of girl to shout and scream back at you, nor is she the type to remain unaffected. Maybe if you had gotten to know her you would have realized that."

_I know her better than you could ever dream of, Akito._

The brief surprise in his eyes faded as the numbness returned. "I don't want to know her. We've been over this. I want her to work here, be my executive assistant, and remain as invisible as possible. Unfortunately, she has not been doing her job to my standards."

Sorrow claimed Akito's features once more at his abrasive friend. Hitsugaya chose not to notice. "Haven't you learned a single thing from her over the past two months?"

Turquoise eyes glanced up, narrowed. "Should I have?"

Akito smiled sadly. "Hinamori is not some object-"

"Do I treat her like an object? No. I treat her like a secretary."

"A _secretary?_ More like a slave! It's quite a wonder that she hasn't quit yet! And I say 'yet' in hopes that she will come to her senses and resign presently!"

"She's a slave? How did you come to that conclusion, Akito? Just because I don't give my employees certain _benefits_ that you see fit to give your more, oh, attractive female workers, does not make me cruel. In fact, I think it might make me a bit better than you." Hitsugaya replied coolly.

Akito groaned and rolled his eyes, and chose to ignore Hitsugaya's statement about Akito's habits involving his own secretaries. "How can you not see? She's here before _us_ most mornings, runs all over the building, runs all over the _city_, takes care of your every whim from coffee to hotel reservations, and stays late at least three days a week. All with a smile on her face, and barely any appreciation from you."

"My appreciation is evident in her paychecks." Hitsugaya murmured, unconcerned as he tapped away at his Blackberry. "Now if you would kindly leave my office and cease this childish tirade, I think we both have things to do."

–

The truth was, Hitsugaya had nothing important to do. He made the one girl who meant anything to him cry today. Wasn't that enough? Not to mention his best friend was pissed at him. But Akito had a fairly short attention span and should be over it soon enough.

The familiar numbness took over his body once more as he climbed into his midnight blue Jaguar to head home to his apartment. It was a sensation he hadn't felt since Hinamori appeared in front of him two months ago. For thirty years, he had lived without any awareness or care about where his life was headed; nothing seemed to matter. But the moment he laid eyes on her in that small office, he had awoken. His heart began to beat again, and his lungs began to breathe. Suddenly, life mattered once more.

And that scared him. It scared him so much to feel what he had been missing for years, that he pushed it away and begged for the numbness to return.

He pulled into the garage for his apartment and handed his keys to his valet before walking into the prim entry and into the elevator before reaching his apartment on the top floor.

His footsteps echoed through the crisp rooms as he walked past the white and chrome furnishings. Modern and minimalistic, and very clean. It had never once seemed lonely to him... until now. He pushed all color out of his life, and was left with the empty canvas. For awhile, he insisted that he liked it that way- there was no need to decorate his life with emotions or people. He preferred to keep things simplistic.

Sitting on his firm white couch, he looked around at his home. A white chair, a glass table. White walls, chrome lamps.

There was no touch of Hinamori here. This was his sanctuary of solitude. Mostly.

Hitsugaya took off his shoes and set them down before heading to the staircase leading up to a small loft that had two rooms.

One, was a guest room. It was occasionally used.

The other... no one else had ever seen. Gently, he pushed open the door, and bright yellow light flooded into the hallway. The walls in this room were painted a burnt orange and beautifully detailed rugs were littered all over the wooden floor. Massive walnut bookshelves stretched from the floor to the ceiling, packed with hundreds of priceless books and antiques, each offering a different color. Beautiful paintings and pictures were collaged in the walls, and sheer red curtains flowed from the massive windows that let in radiant light. In the center of the room, framed by all the deep, succulent color, was a grand piano, polished and poised upon a deep purple rug.

In his stocking feet, he walked over to the piano and gently ran his hand over the black lacquered surface. For a moment, he looked at himself in the dark pool before sitting down in front of it and lifting the cover off the keys. No music sat in front of him, and yet his fingers waltzed over the keys, emitting warm sound. It was his own music, harvested from the depths of his soul. Some parts were light and warm, others reached deeper into the misery and agony that was tattooed on his heart.

It was the story of his life, put to music. And, he found, that was the only way he could tell it. It was the only way he could rid himself of emotions that clawed at him mercilessly inside.

He started playing a few years after he was sent to the living world. It was difficult and lonely to adjust to a new life. He had just left all that he knew behind, including Hinamori. He abandoned her, and shredded her memories before he did. Nauseating guilt had never left him for what he had done. At times, it weighed him down so much he could hardly breathe, hardly stand. Eventually he created a life for himself in the living world, disregarding his life in Soul Society. He made friends like Akito, joined the law firm, and with his sharp mind, became a great success. Within a few years he had reached the top, and took over the firm with Akito. He bought lavish cars, had a penthouse apartment, and had beautiful women throwing themselves at him.

He had the life every mortal man dreamed of.

Except he wasn't mortal.

The cars were mere accessories, the apartment was large and lonely, and none of the women were... Hinamori.

The distractions faded, and soon his past began to infiltrate his future. Day by day, the smoke began leaking under the door and poisoning his lungs. Those years were very dark in his memory and the only real memories he had of them were magazine articles describing his playboy status and his intense partying habits.

None of those things were really him. Yet, he spent time with more women than he could count, and stayed out at clubs until dawn. As for the days... they were blank. He was generally so tired from the night that he just sat at his desk and … well, he really had no idea why he even bothered going to work.

One night, he was at a club and well on his way to getting completely wasted, when a man began playing the piano on stage where Hitsugaya's girlfriends usually attempted to sing karaoke.

He had no idea who the man was or what he looked like... but he remembered the music. The music had been the only thing to cut his fog of depression and remind him how to breathe.

The next day he bought a piano.

A very lovely piano that was once owned by someone named John Lennon. He had no idea who John Lennon was, but he did know that he had great taste in pianos. Although, he was a bit discomforted that everyone called him a 'Beatle'.

Either way, he started lessons, and after years of hard work, he could master Bach and Mozart. Easily. Many times he had been confronted and asked to join symphonies and play for _this_ concert, or _this_ function... but he never had. He preferred to keep his music like a secret he refused to tell.

The only way the word got out about his talent was due to his instructor. He thought he had the right to tell the world since he was the one who 'discovered' him. Hitsugaya would have sued him, had it not been for his excellent instruction.

His music was his cure that he had given up on searching for. It was what calmed him by letting him rid of everything that bothered him.

It was the one place where he opened up completely and wept the sorrows of his soul.

His eyes were closed as his agile fingers glided over the white keys, barely even conscious of what he was emitting before it whispered life in his ears.

–

The next day Hitsugaya arrived at his office thirty minutes before he usually did, planning to get in touch with some important clients early, and hopefully fit in a smoke before Akito showed up like a fire extinguisher. The elevator ride was smooth and quiet, as he was one of the first to arrive.

Naturally, surprise took over him as he walked into his office and found his schedule, files he needed to take care of, the daily newspaper, and a steaming cup of Starbucks neatly set on his desk. His shades were covering the view of the city, as he preferred, and a box of cigarettes were set next to his coffee.

He sat in his chair, looking at his desk with slight wonderment.

This was new.

--A/N--

I could have written more this chapter, but I figured I'd get it out to you a day or so sooner rather than write stuff that can easily go in next chapter. I'm nice like that.

I hope you liked it! Tell me how much you did by reviewing! They are always appreciated, and always replied to!

Thank you so much!


	24. Simple Thing, Where Have You Gone?

**Remembering Winter**

Chapter 24: Simple Thing, Where Have You Gone?

--A/N--

Hello there! I want to thank all of you that reviewed last chapter! I love talking to my readers and getting feedback. It brightens my day.

You guys are going to die when you read this chapter. Just die.

_Song for chapter:_ Somewhere Only We Know by: Keane.  
Love that song. It makes parts of this chapter even better than they already are. And yes, I quoted it for this chapter title.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.

–

Hinamori sat at her desk, her spine straight and shoulders back in excellent posture. Auburn hair was up in a tight bun at the back of her head, save for a few strands that fell loosely around her face. It was much like the way she used to do it. Her legs were crossed under her desk, peeking out from under her white skirt that matched the jacket draped over the back of her chair, leaving her in a purple blouse. Her eyes were focused on the documents she was examining at a rapid pace, writing a statement or two on each sheet before moving onto the next.

Hitsugaya could barely see her through the glass door as he stood, dumbfounded, next to his desk. He hadn't even noticed her when he walked in. Had she even been there? Or did she wait until he was in his office before she emerged? And had she moved her desk so she was no longer visible through his door?

He shook his head, clearing it of that particular thought. He needed caffeine, that was all. Conveniently, he found his coffee was right next to his hand before he raised it to his mouth. Black. Just the way he liked it. Everything was so neatly organized on his desk. Everything that she usually delivered personally to him at some point during the day.

Except for the cigarettes. He was quite sure she had stolen those from his desk before. Akito had probably put her up to it, seeings how they were so friendly.

At that moment, he saw Hinamori stand with a radiant smile on her face as Akito appeared in front of her desk. She took his jacket and handed him his coffee as she undoubtedly wished him a good morning.

_Not that I care_. Hitsugaya thought to himself as he removed his jacket and slung it over one of his white chairs, feeling more than foolish that he had stood there staring blankly out his office door for a good fifteen minutes. The purpose of arriving early had been defeated by this point. Sighing in his usual manner, he sat down at his desk and pulled open the bottom drawer. Lifting up some files, he got to a blank manila folder at the bottom, buried. Akito was probably still a bit angry with him from the events of yesterday, and wouldn't barge into Hitsugaya's office today. Often, at least, so today would be a good day for that. Flipping open the folder, a pile of reports from Soul Society stared up at him. His duties as a captain were not excused just because he was on a mission. He still had to do some paperwork from back home, but still more than other captains in the living world. That was a result of having Matsumoto as his Vice-Captain. Although, he had to admit that she had stepped up while he was gone, and took over the squad and some of the paperwork. She sacrificed sake for the squad. And as odd as that sounded, Hitsugaya knew that showed her resolve to keep the tenth division strong. It was always hard on a division to have the captain absent, but even harder to have no captain. Soul society struggled for a while after Aizen's rebellion with no captains in the third, fifth, and ninth squads. Soul Society even considered asking Ichigo Kurosaki to temporarily take over a squad. Eventually, people were found to take squads. Hinamori was now the captain of the fifth with Rukia as her vice.

The friendly feeling of realization smacking Hitsugaya in the face practically knocked him off of his chair.

If Hinamori was a captain, that meant she had mastered Bankai.

Hitsugaya slowly leaned his chair back until he could just barely see her face out of his door. (She _had_ moved her desk.) Her eyes were scanning a paper as she tapped her pen against her lips.

She looked much to innocent to master Bankai.

Then again, she looked too innocent to hold a sword. And he knew she could.

Sitting upright once more, he shook his head as he forced himself to focus on his paperwork, and _not_ his secretary.

–

Hinamori signed yet another recruit order for another Shinigami to join the fifth squad. Another group of students had just graduated at the Winter Ceremony at the Academy, and were filling in places in the squads.

_I've signed at least nine of these this morning... and they are all boys. I wonder why that is...?_

The fact that she was the nicest and one of the most alluring captains in the Gotei slipped her mind. Rukia was quite stunning as well, but offered little attraction due to her engagement to Ichigo Kurosaki.

She heard a door open and quickly covered her forms with paperwork that she was organizing for Hitsugaya-Sama. Out of Masahori-Sama's office walked one of his secretaries. Hinamori gave the redhead who went by the name 'Miki' a light smile as she walked past her to the elevator. She felt guilty doing Soul Society reports at work... but she had no other time to do it. She worked nights at the club and had to catch a few hours of sleep at some point...

As If on que, a yawn shook her slightly. She had a long day and night yesterday, and the few hours she did have for sleep proved to be unsuccessful. The events of the day played over and over in her head, taunting her. At first, tears had stung at the back of her eyes once more, but that soon turned to anger as she thought about what she should have said to him. 'I quit' was definitely in the top five. 'Go to hell' was also a good option.

She sighed as she put her pen down and allowed herself a brief glance into his office. He was reading a sheet of paper, his mystifying eyes running over it. One single chunk of white hair fell into his eyes in a slightly haphazard way.

_He's very … good-looking. _She thought briefly before rolling her eyes at herself. Who was she kidding? He was gorgeous.

And she hadn't even had a chance to be dazzled by his smile yet.

_Yet? _She questioned, exasperated, _More like never. _

Sure, she was upset at the harsh things he had forced at her the other day, and didn't even understand a few of them, but it helped her realize that she didn't belong in this world, in _his_ world. There was nothing here for her, and it had been stupid of her to think there was. She enjoyed making friends, but that would never last. She would leave for Soul Society, and they would age and die before she even seemed to advance a year. In the end, it would just leave her with hard goodbyes and heartache. She now understood that it was best to distance herself as much as possible, not only to comply with Hitsugaya's wishes, but to make it easier on her own heart in the long run.

Although, she had to admit that she missed hearing his husky voice when he spoke to her...

She shook her head abruptly. _No you don't, Hinamori. And he only got that tone because he was irritated with you, not for any other reason. It's best to stay away. _

Finally convincing herself that pursuing friendship with her boss was out of the question, she secretly went back to work on her Soul Society reports, hoping to finish them swiftly so she could move on to her real work for the day.

–

She wasn't sure how long she had sat there, filling out form after form, before she finally reached the very last one. Just as she was about to sign at the bottom, a shadow loomed over her desk.

She didn't even have to look.

"Hinamori-San." His voice was hard.

She raised her head, forcing her heart to not lurch at the mere sound of his voice, as well as her lips not to smile reflexively. "Hai, Hitsugaya-Sama?" She said in a rather stoic tone, looking to the side rather than up at him directly.

He set a rather large folder on her desk packed with papers. "I need a hundred copies of each; sorted and stapled into packets."

Well, there went her afternoon. "Will that be all?" She asked politely, taking the file into her hands, her voice still rather detached, covering the bruises remaining from yesterday with her unemotional tone.

"Yes." And without another word, he was gone.

She watched his door glide shut as she inwardly groaned. Her eyes felt heavy, about as heavy as her soul. Why did this man have such an effect over her?

_I just want to go home..._ she whimpered to herself. And she did. She ached for Soul Society more than she ever had before.

And she had a feeling that was a result from putting up with her silver-haired boss.

–

As soon as Hitsugaya reached his office, he wanted to punch himself in the face. He turned into an idiot when she was around.

A complete _idiot_.

She had met him with those chilled eyes and raised him a distant voice... he could feel his chest tighten. He had done this to himself, he deserved it.

Rubbing his eyes, he made it to his desk. He was suffering from an extreme lack of sleep that had been attacking him since Hinamori appeared in front of him.

_There have been no noticeable incidents involving Hinamori. Maybe this issue with her riatsu is just a fluke and she can go home. I should call Unohana-Taicho today and arrange for that. If there really is a problem, it's not like I'm the most capable person to deal with it. _

"You look like shit, Toshiro."

Hitsugaya didn't even bother looking. "Thanks, Akito."

The truth was, Hitsugaya didn't only look like shit, but he surely felt like it too. It felt like he hadn't slept in ages, every step was exhausting and his eyes were surely bloodshot. His eating habits had gone downhill, not that they were exceptionally good before; living off of coffee and a granola bar or two, chasing it down with a cigarette which were his own food group. The thought of actual food nauseated him.

As if the status of his body wasn't enough- he felt as though he was loosing his mind on top of it all. He couldn't trust himself with working on cases at work, as he could barely put his shoes on the right feet. He mixed his words up, couldn't remember trivial things, overslept on the occasions that he was able to even fall asleep, forgot where he put things... the list went on and on. He had always been known to have an exceedingly sharp mind, but lately it had become dauntingly dull.

He was falling apart. And that was an understatement.

"This is because of Hinamori, isn't it?" Akito's tone was sympathetic as he walked over to Hitsugaya's desk.

Hitsugaya tried his best to pull off a nonchalant shrug.

Akito smiled grimly, "I just wanted to stop in and apologize."

Hitsugaya gave him a questioning look. "What?"

"For yesterday. It was none of my business... and really, I don't even know what happened." He finished with a small laugh that Hitsugaya found contagious.

"No problem. I've already forgotten about it." Hitsugaya wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing.

Akito looked at him skeptically. "Lately, I would be worried that you would forget my name if I hadn't taken the liberty of carving it into your desk."

Hitsugaya looked from Akito to a place on his desk where his phone was strategically covering a part where Akito had felt the need to give his desk a 'homey touch'. "Something tells me I would have remembered it anyway, but thank you for your concern."

"Anytime." Akito brightened as though he had actually helped Hitsugaya out.

A slight pause grew between the two before Hitsugaya spoke up. "Are you ever going to get some work done today or are you planning on standing there for the rest of the day?"

Akito arched a brow. "Work? You should know better than to ask me to do such a thing. What are you working on? The Carlson Case?" Before Hitsugaya could reply, Akito grabbed one of the sheets on Hitsugaya's pile. "Soul Society? What's that? Some online game or something?"

"What?!" Hitsugaya incredulously asked, snatching the paper back.

Akito's eyes glistened green. "Ah, I see! You expect _me_ to do all the work while you play some role playing game, Toshiro! Or should I say 'Hitsugaya-Taicho'!" He teased, using the name that was on the paper.

"Funny. You make it sound like you actually work."

"I do!" Akito said in astonishment before his confounded face softened, "... Occasionally."

Hitsugaya gave a slight laugh. "If you say so."

Another case of silence infiltrated into the room as Hitsugaya looked down at his desk. Akito may act like a moron, but he knew Hitsugaya better than anyone. It made him fear what was coming next.

"You've got it bad, Toshiro. It's painful to look at."

"Hm?" Hitsugaya looked up into Akito's sympathetic eyes, doing his best to not look as exhausted as he was.

Akito only smiled knowingly as he gave Hitsugaya a pat on the back. "Swallow your pride and apologize to her. It will get better."

"What are you talking about?" Hitsugaya questioned as Akito began backing out of his office.

Akito only smiled as he reached the door. "You'll understand eventually. Just trust me on this one." He gave a wink before disappearing, leaving Hitsugaya rather lost.

–

"How is he?"

Akito smiled down at Hinamori who had stood and caught his arm as soon as he stepped out of Hitsugaya's office. Concern was etched across her face with no evidence that she was attempting to hide it.

Akito cocked his head to the side. "Why would you worry about such a thing?"

"I-I'm not worried!" She said defiantly before taking a breath and softening her features, "I just haven't been in there all day and it seems like he hasn't been feeling very well lately." She looked down, letting her long lashes cover her violet eyes from Akito's view as she picked at her nails. "And... and I have a feeling that he's taking what happened yesterday worse than me."

Akito sighed. "Well, I can tell you, with one-hundred percent honesty that Hitsugaya is... hell, Hitsugaya is the worst I've ever seen him."

Hinamori's eyes flew up to Akito's, brimming with concern and compassion. "Is that my fault?"

"No, of course not, Hinamori-San!"

"Well... but I... If I had never-" She ban to stutter semi-frantically.

Akito placed a finger to her lips to silence them. "It's not your fault."

He waited for her slight nod before letting her speak again. "I just can't help but feel like it is, though."

Akito shrugged casually and rolled his eyes over to the wall. "Nah. Hitsugaya has always been a weird one."

At the nonchalant tone and statement of Hitsugaya's best friend, Hinamori couldn't help but break into a smile.

Akito's eyes rolled back to her, a smile of his own playing on his features. "There's the smile that I've been missing all day long!"

Hinamori replied with an eye-roll and a slight blush in her still-smiling cheeks.

"But really, Hinamori-San," Akito continued,"You shouldn't worry about him."

Tilting her head in slight confusion, Hinamori questioned him. "Why not?"

"Because he's not worth it." He stated, seriously. "Think about it, Hinamori-San. He yelled at you for what? For trying to be his friend? He accused you of things you had never even imagined before, and pushed you away. He _hurt_ you, Hinamori. Do you really think anything is going to change?"

He saw her jaw visibly tighten as she rose her head in defiance. "I'll never know until I try."

Akito stared at her hard for a moment to check her resolve before breaking into a soft grin. "Thank you, Hinamori-San."

Hinamori's expression of courage turned into puzzlement. "Wait- what?"

"Thank you... for not giving up on him. If anyone can help him, it's you." He smiled sadly, his eyes softening in green.

She reflected his expression, "I couldn't. I tried. I couldn't make it a day."

Akito leaned back against her desk and crossed his arms over his chest. "There's something about him, isn't there?"

She nodded, hiding behind her lashes. "Yeah. There's something about him."

–

Hitsugaya sat in the darkness of his office and rubbed his temples. He had just finished all of his Soul Society paperwork, and his head was _killing _him. He was happy the shades were pulled shut, or else the winter sun would be shining quite brightly into his office at that point. A fresh pile of company paperwork sat in front of him, with no hopes of being completed by Akito.

The thought of scribbling his signature on another sheet of paper made him want to smash his desk in half.

He could do it, too.

_Where is a hollow when you need one?_ He groaned as he downed the last of his coffee, only to find it cold, and full of grounds at the bottom. That made the already bitter coffee even more pungent.

He began to wonder if it was possible to have a worse day as he ran a hand through his hair and reached for his box of cigarettes with the other. He would sacrifice facing the blinding sun for a quick smoke.

As he fumbled for the small carton under some papers on his unusually messy desk, he heard them fall to the ground. Swearing under his breath he bent down to get them, but instead of finding the small cardboard box, he found a hand instead. Looking up, he stumbled upon Hinamori smiling timidly at him, forgetting that his hand still held hers.

"H-Hinamori?" He practically stuttered, surprised.

She arched a brow at him from her position on the floor. "Were you expecting someone else?"

"Yes. I mean no! No. I wasn't." He fumbled over his words, earning a soft giggle from Hinamori.

"That's good. You shouldn't be surprised to see me, I am your secretary after all. I'm supposed to be in here often." She smiled once again at him before glancing down at his hand covering hers. "May I have my hand back, Hitsugaya-Sama?"

"Oh." He felt a slight heat rise in his cheeks. "Sorry."

"No worries." She beamed, "Just a little difficult to do my job from the floor."

_So she didn't mind?_

His thoughts were interrupted by the satisfying sound of a full coffee cup being placed in front of him. "I think you need this." Hinamori said knowingly.

"I think you might be right." He murmured hungrily as he raised the cup to his lips to take a long, satisfying drink of his black coffee before quickly wrenching the cup from his mouth and looking from the giggling Hinamori to the cup. "What _is_ this?!"

Hinamori grinned. "It's a Latte. Nothing too fancy, just espresso and steamed milk. It's a step up from your regular black coffee. I knew that if I had given you anything more than that, it would have ended up in my face."

Hitsugaya murmured something unintelligible as he took another sip, carefully this time. _I guess it's not that bad..._

"Why do you have the drapes pulled? It's such a lovely day outside!" Before he could say a word, Hinamori had hurried over to the massive wall of windows and threw open the shades, letting radiant light fill the room. "That's better." She murmured as she stood in front of the windows, basking in the angelic light before turning to the blinking Hitsugaya and sorting through the papers on his desk, not before casually tossing the carton of cigarettes in the trash bin.

"Hinamori." He said stoically. "What are you doing?"

She looked up at him, mid-paper with a confused look on her face. "I'm... going through papers?"

"No, that's not what I meant." He murmured, running a hand through his hair before he stood up and walked to the other side of the desk where she was standing. "What I meant was... what are you doing here. In my office. With me." His voice was soft as he looked down at her, and as he finished she turned to look up at him.

"I'm here... because I care. Not just about my job, but I care about you. More than you might think. I heard you yesterday, I promise that I did, I even tried to stay away like you asked, but it only made me want to be closer to you- to show you what you're missing out on by pushing people away."

She finished, and held herself as tall as possible in front of his towering body. Her violet eyes stared into his turquoise ones as a thick silence threatened to suffocate them. Hitsugaya was trying to think of something rational to say, when Hinamori continued.

"I know you probably don't like the idea... but I'm not going to give up. Masahori-Sama already tried to tell me today that you aren't worth the trouble, and I know that I'll probably end up being yelled at again- but it doesn't matter. I've learned a lot in the two months I've been here from both you and Masahori-Sama, and standing up for what I believe in is one of them." Defiance flashed in her violet eyes sharply as they bore into Hitsugaya's. "Yell, shout- whatever. But it's not going to change a thing."

Words left him. Hinamori stood in front of him, her stare unwavering, her body visibly preparing itself for the uproar she expected to follow in the wake of her determination.

She never ceased to amaze him at the incredible woman she had become. Years ago she would have timidly backed away, tears brimming her eyes, back to the loving shelter of her captain. Not that that wasn't a total facade or anything. But she had moved on from that rude awakening- and had allowed herself to become this beautiful creature before him. The fact that she even wanted to be near him astonished him. He had been nothing but cruel.

"Hinamori..." His voice came out in a husky whisper as he took a step closer to her, his gaze unwavering from her eyes that widened softly as he took another step. He felt his heart began to throb heavily, and he lowered his eyes from her face. A hand ran nervously through his snowy hair as he searched for the words to put his world back together again. "I'm... so sorry. What I said... I didn't mean to-"

He was silenced by her delicate fingers pressed against his lips. Rapidly, his azure eyes met hers that were deep and traced by crystal tears. Instantly, his heart froze. She was crying. Again. And it was his fault. ...Again. He had just hurt her more by trying to apologize. _Why can't I do anything right when it comes to her? _

As if she could read his mind, she broke into a smile. "It's okay, Hitsugaya. It's always been okay." She moved her fingers from his cool lips and he began instantly missing their warmth. Quickly, she brushed the drops from her eyes, smudging a bit of mascara at the sides of her eyes as she did so. "I'm just ... happy." She beamed up at him with water droplets clinging to her eyelashes, making her eyes sparkle magically as she stared up at him. "Thank you."

Hitsugaya arched a brow at her as another step towards her brought them only inches apart. "Shouldn't I be the one thanking you, Hinamori?" He whispered as his entire body eased in the warmth emitting from her form. Grinning slyly, he could tell that he was effecting her. Her face had a rosy tint, and her breathing had hastened, her breasts rising in tune with her rapid breaths that surely matched a pulsating heart. Tracing his eyes up her body, they finally met hers. The moment their eyes met, it was his turn for his body to be overcome with fervor at the throbbing desire that was undeniably in her eyes. He had dreamed about her looking at him like that for thirty years... and here she was; inches away from him, looking up at him as though he was all she could see... completely for his taking. Her lips parted, and her pink tongue licked them quickly, leaving them glistening and undeniably swollen with her sweet taste.

A shaky breath escaped between his lips as his eyes glazed over. "Oh God, Hinamori..." was all that escaped his lips in a strangled murmur before he pulled her into his arms and buried his face in the nape of her neck. He felt her gasp slightly against his chest before he felt her arms wrap around him and fuse with his body.

Every nerve was on fire as he held onto her delicate frame. She was... God, she was beautiful. Pressed against the ethereal skin at her neck, her pulse resonated against his lips, and her sweet scent only made him thirst for more. The deafening ache that had consumed his body for months softened as she imprinted his granite chest with her warm softness. Reaching behind her head, he grabbed her hair and released it from the tight bun it was in, letting it fall down her back and over his face, consuming him with her divine scent once more. A small moan vibrated in her throat as Hitsugaya moved his hands to the small of her back, pushing her deeper into the curve of his body.

If the rational side of his brain had been screaming warnings at him, he didn't know.

Or care.

–

Hinamori was lost from the moment he had spoken her name with that rough whisper of his, not to mention the way his eyes scorched her body with the iced fire they possessed. And now, with her body pressed against the unyielding coolness of his own, It was all she could do to keep her knees from buckling beneath her. This had been building for far too long.

She could feel his erratic breathing against the nape of her bare neck, and delighted in the way his lips gently brushed against the delicate skin there, sending shivers down her spine with every breath he took. She moved one hand from his back to his hair, to grab his silver locks, earning her a moan at her nape from him that resonated through her body before licking like fire at her stomach.

His breath felt deliciously cool against her skin, as did his entire body as it formed tightly to hers. It should have surprised her, but somehow... somewhere deep inside of her knew to expect it, that it was him. From the fresh, natural scent that she breathed in deeply, letting it consume and permeate her, to his silky white hair that felt so good between her fingers... it just felt _right_.

Tears blurring her vision once more, she realized she had found where she belonged, however wrong it might seem.

–

As soon as Hitsugaya felt wetness land on his cheek, his heart froze in his chest simultaneously with his breathing. He opened his eyes against her neck and, taking one more deep breath of her scent, pulled away. "Hinamori...?" He murmured gently as he face came into view, slightly tear streaked. "Are you … alright?" For a moment he was worried that he had hurt her. She was quite petite... and he had held on quite tightly. Hinamori, however, disregarded that thought with a quick nod.

"I'm fine." She sad, breaking into a shy smile as she wiped at her eyes, "It's just that... I've never been held like... like that before."

Her honesty surprised him, and he felt something soften inside of him as he leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers, letting his eyes stare into hers.

"I've never held anyone like that before." _Not even you._

Desire flooded her eyes and plunged into his before coursing through his veins, burning everything in it's path, and leaving him feeling unsteady. Every nerve tingled, and although he had her in his arms just moments ago, he ached with a throbbing need to hold her again.

And more.

Swallowing hard, a ribbon of panic weaved it's way around his heart as he realized what was happening. What had been between them thirty years ago was childish and innocent.

This... this fire of need that he feared would engulf his soul... was something completely new and uncharted.

And immeasurably stronger.

--A/N--

I'd say I deserve some good reviews for writing that.

If you have any suggestions for 'Song For The Chapter', don't hesitate to clue me in to your musical connections! A few of you have already done that, and I think it's pretty snazzy.

Thank you for reading. 3


	25. Shiro

**Remembering Winter**

Chapter 25: Shiro

--A/N--

Filler chapter. Sorry.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.

–

Hinamori walked along the sidewalk after work, her high heels clicking against the sidewalk to the pulse of her beating heart. The sky might have been gray and dismal, but she felt as though she had her own sun shining down on her, leaving her warm and tingling. There was a strange sensation deep in the pit of her stomach, and it seemed to radiate through her entire body, infecting her soul with it's virus. She had no idea what was happening to her, but she liked it.

Even the fact that she had to work at the club tonight couldn't bring her down.

It became known a few weeks ago that Tamale herself had plenty of bartending experience, but simply chose not to inform Hinamori of that. But since Hinamori had been working there every single night, Tamale offered to take over a few nights so Hinamori could, oh, sleep.

Not that Tamale knew about Hinamori's other job. Feeling it best to not let two of her three separate lives intertwine, Hinamori decided to keep it a secret that she had a more... tactful job elsewhere than a certified strip club.

Which it was now. Tamale had taken the liberty of changing the name to 'Geisha Girls', and the talk of complete renovation was going around to suit the new name of the club. Not that Hinamori minded, as she would gladly trade her hooker boots in for a kimono.

Well, a scandalous kimono. But a kimono no less.

Continuing on her way to her apartment, something in an alley caught her eye. Stopping, she timidly walked over to the break between buildings, packed with garbage, and was about to turn away when a small silver kitten jumped out at her playfully.

"Why, hello there!" She murmured, kneeling down to pet the kitten. "Do you have a mommy? Or an owner?"

The kitten purred in response, rubbing it's head in her hand and looking up at her with it's beautiful emerald eyes.

"Such a pretty kitty." She cooed as she checked for a collar or a tag to help the kitten get home.

"Ah!" A voice behind her shouted, "You have caught it!"

Hinamori turned her head to find a very short man with a very dirty apron. He was grinning maliciously at the kitten that was in her arms while holding a broom as if it were a pitchfork.

"Is... this you cat?" She asked politely, but hoped that he wasn't. He didn't seem like much of a cat person.

"No!" The man practically shouted at her, "That cat always climbs through the window into the kitchen of my restaurant! He snitches fish and sneaks away before I can get my hands around his neck!" The man demonstrated how he would strangle the poor thing's neck with his hands.

"Well, he was just hungry..." Hinamori murmured. "Does he belong to anyone?"

The man shook his head. "No ma'am. He's a stray. There's a lot of them around here, but they either starve or get killed."

"Oh." She looked down at the little ball of fur who seemed quite content in her arms. She stood and thanked the small restaurant owner. "If you don't mind, I'll take this kitten off your hands for you."

The man looked at her as if she were insane before she smiled and began walking away, her new companion snuggled in her jacket.

–

"I know it's not too fancy... but it's comfortable." She said to the cat as she gestured to her tiny, one-room apartment as she began tearing through her wardrobe for something to wear to the club. Once she found a black miniskirt she turned back to the kitten who was standing exactly where she had left him.

"Are you hungry?" She asked as she moved to the fridge and poured some milk in a bowl for him. "I'll bring you home some kitty food after work, kay? Until then you'll just have to suffer with what I have."

The kitten began lapping up the milk as if it was the first food it had seen in years. Hinamori sat down on the floor next to it and stroked it's back as it drank. "I think you need a name." She murmured as the kitten looked up at her, it's emerald eyes flashing. Tapping her lips, she picked up the kitten and held him in front of her face as if to get a good look at him.

"Shiro." She said decidedly. "Your name is Shiro."

Shiro looked at her as though he hated that name.

"What?" She cried, "I think it's cute!"

Shiro looked as though he hated that name even more after that comment.

"Well," She said as she set him down, "You'll get used to it..."

–

"So..."

Akito leaned against Hitsugaya's desk with a beaming smile upon his face as Hitsugaya tapped away at his laptop. "Yes?" Hitsugaya questioned, not even bothering to look up, or stop typing for that matter.

"What happened?! You have to tell me!"

"Did Hinamori say something?" Hitsugaya asked casually, still not giving Akito his full attention.

"No. But she was-"

"-Then there is nothing for you to know." Hitsugaya said rather professionally, but a quick glance over his laptop accompanied by a swift grin sent Akito flying.

"You're awful!"

Hitsugaya only shrugged as he began going through some files Hinamori had left on his desk before she went home. Suddenly feeling rather productive, Hitsugaya decided to stay late and work, making up for the past few weeks where his production had been at an all-time low. For the first time in quite a long time, he felt like himself.

And he had a sickening feeling that his enlightened mood had to do with his secretary.

Hitsugaya glanced up at Akito who was still standing beside his desk. "Are you going to help me with this or stand there all night?"

"Neither." Akito smiled widely. "It is Thursday night and I am going to go get drunk with some lovely ladies. You are more than welcome to come, you know."

Hitsugaya laughed, "No, thanks. But I'll pass."

"Ah!" Akito's face brightened, "That's right! You have Hinamori-San! Who needs a vodka and a blonde when you have her?!"

Shooting a worried glance at his friend, Hitsugaya couldn't help but wonder if Akito was already drunk. He had been known to hide bottles of booze in his desk...

"No, I just need to get caught up on this paperwork, Akito."

Akito incredulously looked at him before he turned to leave, narrowly missing the door frame on his way out. "Sure. But just for the record- I got dibs on being your best man."

–

The next day at the office was rather eventful for everyone.

Hitsugaya spent most of his day attempting to get ahead on his pile of work, but ended up glancing out his door at Hinamori constantly throughout the day. As lovely as she was, she was not conductive to a good work ethic. Especially when she waltzed into his office with coffee or papers or notices...

He greatly considered tying himself to his chair to keep from touching her.

The other day was nice, there was no denying that, but he couldn't let it happen again. He just _couldn't._

Feeling his resolve strengthen, he glanced out his door to find Hinamori working away at her laptop with her headphones on, silently singing along to the song she was listening to.

Groaning, he looked away as his resolve crumbled around him. He was so screwed.

-

Hinamori couldn't remember the last time she had been in such a fabulous mood.

Last night after the club closed for the day, Tamale announced to everyone that she had sold the club. At that moment, many feared they were out of a job, but Tamale convinced them that they were still employed. Apparently the new owner wished to have renovations done before they took over, so the place would be closed for a month or so.

At first, Hinamori had been very pleased to hear that, and hoped to simply never return after the renovations were finished. However, after the brief meeting, Tamale pulled Hinamori to the side.

"I suppose you expect to never return, huh?" Tamale had asked her as she adjusted her fake eyelashes.

"Well... yes. That would be nice." Hinamori said hopefully.

Tamale only shook her head. "Sorry, kid. But you can't leave yet."

Hinamori's stomach dropped. "What? But why?"

"Look, if it was up to me- you could be gone. But as I was going over my list of employees with the new owner... well, they took a special interest in you, kid."

"...What?"

Tamale shrugged, "Don't ask me. But if you want to leave you'll have to take it up with them."

Hinamori groaned audibly. "Can't I ever get rid of this place?!"

She had been surprised when Tamale gave out a breath of laughter. "I've spent _years_ trying to get out of here. It was my mum's before it was mine, you see. So there was a little bit of guilt keeping me from just walking away from it. That, and all the girls. They're all too good to be in a place like this, but it's a job..." Trailing off, Tamale looked around, gesturing at the spilled liquor and neon lights. "Did you know that Candy is going to school to become a doctor? And that Bambi has the cutest baby girl ever?"

Hinamori shook her head in reply. She didn't know her redheaded ex-boss could be so kind.

"What about you, Hinamori?"

"Hm?" Hinamori tilted her head, not sure what Tamale was talking about.

"What have you got going for you? Surely not just this old dump."

Hinamori laughed slightly. "Um... well, do you remember that advertisement in the newspaper about two months ago about that opening for a secretarial position for Hitsugaya Toshiro? That like, CEO or whatever for Hitsugaya and Masahori Law?"

"Um, yeah. Any woman who didn't see that obviously has misplaced her sex drive."

Not sure how to take that, Hinamori continued, "Well... I got the position."

"Seriously?!" Tamale practically shouted, "Wow. That's... awesome! I can understand why you have been anxious to leave this place then... I'm sorry, but you're going to have to take that up with the new owner. And as I said, they took an interest in you so it'll probably be damn hard to get out of this. But they plan to get everyone back here again a week before opening, so you can talk to them then, I guess."

And with that, Hinamori was away from the club for a month. And she planned to only return once more; to talk to the new owner. Whoever that was.

And of course it helped her mood greatly by knowing that there was someone at home waiting for her.

Even if it was a cat.

And then… there was her boss.

Her gorgeous, nerve-tingling, head-rushing boss who held her so close yesterday that she swore she could still feel the chilling imprint of his body on hers. She could practically feel the deep turquoise of his eyes smoldering her skin, leaving her heart racing. She couldn't recall ever feeling... well, she wasn't sure what she was feeling.

All she knew was that she _needed_ something. Desperately.

The only problem was that she didn't know what she desired, leaving her with a hungering ache that never seemed to subside, only swell in burning intensity.

–

Akito had a hangover.

–

Hitsugaya was sitting at his desk attempting to concentrate on his work when Hinamori tapped lightly on the glass of his door before entering.

Glancing up from his papers, he gave her a slight nod of recognition. "Yes?"

Clearing her throat, she shifted some papers in her arms before announcing the messages. "An invitation came for Akano Hanashini's wedding, Mr. Erickson called and suggested you visit him in the United States to discuss his case, BMW called to notify you that they are offering you a discount in thanks for the lawsuit you helped them with, and Masahori-Sama has a hangover."

Hitsugaya looked up at her. "Inform Hasashini that I am grateful for the invitation, but I must decline. Send them a fruit basket or something customary. Arrange for a travel to the United States in a month, and tell Mr. Erickson to expect us. Thank BMW for their kind offer, but I do not require a discount, nor do I require one of their vehicles. And tell Akito to kindly suck it up."

He continued to look up at her as if to say 'that is all', however she just stood there with an incredulous look on her face.

"A fruit basket?" She asked warily once she spoke.

"Yes." Hitsugaya replied as he went back to his papers. "Did you not hear me correctly the first time?"

"No, I heard you," She said, somewhat defensively, "I just wasn't sure _you_ understood that Akano Hanashini has been working diligently for this company for fifteen years this May. I would say that the fact that he added you to his limited guest list shows his respect for you, and that you replying with a _fruit basket_ hardly shows him the respect you should give him in return."

"Fine. What would you suggest I bless the happy couple with, then?"

"Well, your presence at their wedding, I would think. That's the highest blessing one could imagine!"

He looked up at her to find a teasing grin on her face and he narrowed his brows sharply in return, earning himself an eye-roll.

"Just think about it, then. As well as the offer from BMW!"

Hitsugaya looked at her as though the thought repulsed him. "Why should I? They shamelessly call themselves a luxury car. I would rather take a taxi than drive one."

"I don't see anything wrong with them..." Hinamori murmured, looking at her boss with arched brows.

"That's because you don't know any better. The one good thing BMW did was create the Rolls-Royce. And even that is multiple steps beneath anything I own. As soon as you drove my Ferrari you would understand."

Hinamori rolled her eyes before breaking into a mischievous smile. "Alright, I get it. You think BMW is trash." She paused briefly as he nodded. "However, _I_ don't know the difference between it and Ferrari."

Hitsugaya paused mid-signature as his stomach clenched in slight panic. "_You_ want a BMW?" He knew full well that Hinamori did not regularly drive. He also knew that there were insane drivers on the road. He was one of them. The thought of this petite little creature driving around a couple tons of machinery while crazy people surrounded her in the same, scared him.

"Oh, of course not!" She waved a hand in front of her, disregarding that thought. Hitsugaya relaxed once more at her refusal before clenching even tighter at her next words.

"I want a motorcycle!"

The pen Hitsugaya had been holding in his hand dropped. "Excuse me?"

"I'm not trying to take advantage of you or your benefits, of course! I mean, I suppose I'll need an advanced paycheck or two to pay for it, but the discount itself just would have been wasted! I don't need a car, and I don't think I'm allowed to have one at my apartment, but I'm allowed to have a motorcycle! And that saves me from having to ride the subway to work. Stop giving me that look, I _get it. _You hate BMW. But does that mean your secretary has to? It's transportation! And don't worry, I'll do you proud, you speed-demon."

Because that eased his nerves a whole lot.

"I... I see nothing wrong with the subway." He said pathetically.

"Sure you don't. You've never had to ride it." She had him there. "I have one picked out and everything! All you have to do is just go to the dealership with me to get it. Want to see it?" She asked, reaching for his laptop. Briefly nodding, and still in somewhat shock, he let Hinamori Google her bike, praying it was a girly pink monstrosity that went no faster than thirty-five.

"There!" she said proudly, turning his laptop back to him for him to examine.

"The BMW K13000R..." He muttered as he scrolled down to a picture that practically killed him. Staring back at him was a black and silver bike with sleek curves that were clearly meant for speed. It was what he would consider a 'crotch rocket', and completely unsafe. And as he read the specs, his thoughts were only confirmed. "This thing has a maximum output of one hundred and seventy-three horsepower. Is that even necessary?" He read on, ignoring Hinamori's excited lip-chewing, as each fact that he read terrified him.

"No."

"What?"

"No. You aren't getting this bike." He said decisively.

"Why?" She pouted slightly, but was mostly irritated. "I thought you would like it."

"It's insanely unsafe. And I've never gotten into motorcycles. I prefer cars."

"But look!" She said as she hurried around to his side of the desk and pointed at something on the screen, "It comes with a first aid kit!"

"Seriously? Are you planning on getting a papercut while you're riding? Because that's all a first aid kit is good for."

"I'll be fine!"

"No."

"I'll be sure to wear a helmet and everything!"

"No!"

"Come on!"

"No! And that's final!" Hitsugaya shouted as he stood from his chair, glaring at Hinamori from above, inches away from her own sharp glares.

"What the hell is going on in here?" Akito murmured in a strangled voice from the doorway. He looked uncharacteristically disheveled, and was holding up a hand to block the sun streaming in from the windows from hitting his eyes. "I can hear you in my office."

"Akito," Hitsugaya replied doubtfully, "Your office is down the hall. We don't even have a shared wall."

"That just shows you how loud you were arguing." He murmured, leaning against the door frame in a slouchy manner.

"Hinamori was trying to convince me to help her buy a motorcycle. I was doing my best to convince her otherwise and it would be nice if you would tell her it's a bad idea, too."

"I don't care if Hinamori-San wants _five_ motorcycles. Just buy them so you guys can be _quiet_. In fact, here," Akito muttered as he reached into his wallet and threw his credit card on the floor. "It's on me. Now kindly _shut. up._"

With that, Akito slumped back to the darkness of his own office, leaving Hitsugaya with a defeated look on his face, and Hinamori with an excited smile.

"So after work today, then?" She beamed up at him with a teasing glint in her violet eyes.

Hitsugaya chose not to reply, deciding his scowl said enough.

Laughing, Hinamori began walking towards the door. "I'll take my leave now. Oh, wait." She paused, looking down at a paper in her arms, before looking towards him with a bemused look, "In response to Mr. Erickson's offer... I believe you said to arrange a flight for '_us_'. I assume you meant Masahori-Sama and yourself?"

Hitsugaya let a smirk slide on his face as he sat down, kicking his feet up on the corner of his desk, rolling up the sleeves of his white shirt casually. "No... Akito will not be coming with me. He's not very good with foreign relations. I meant you, Hinamori."

"Me?" Hinamori's eyes grew wide as she pointed to herself.

"Yes, you." Hitsugaya spoke coolly, "You are my secretary. It is completely alright for you to accompany me."

Hinamori arched a brow curiously.

"Don't worry," Hitsugaya continued with an amused glint in his icy eyes, "I hardly think anyone will assume that we are running away together on a romantic endeavor."

The slight blush that had been growing in Hinamori's cheeks flared as her mouth opened to speak, but no words came out. She was clearly flustered, much to Hitsugaya's satisfaction.

"Unless..." He spoke smoothly, letting his words slide silkily into her ears, intoxicating her whether he realized it or not. In one fluid movement he stood from his desk and was standing inches in front of her before he realized where his legs were carrying him. She raised her head to look up at him, mouth parted, and eyes blurred. "Unless," He repeated as he traced his finger across her bottom lip, delighting in the sharp intake of breath from her warm mouth, "...You want people to think that."

A playful smirk still claimed his features, ebbing a gentile amusement into his eyes. Although, he knew that Hinamori would have to be blind to not notice the blatant desire framed across his face. There was no use denying that his body ached for her with an intense greed. And that her body seemed to want him with symmetry of his own.

Just knowing that she wanted him sent a blaze of fire coursing through his veins.

Deciding it was enough, he took a step back from her, the fire inside of him weakening slightly. Glancing down, he discovered Akito's credit card on the floor and picked it up, holding it between two fingers in front of him.

"Until after work then, Hinamori." He said coolly, sliding the credit card into his pocket. If Hinamori was getting a motorcycle It wasn't going to be by his money.

--A/N--

Yay! Filler chapter is finally done!

Uh... not much to say except that next chapter will be better than that crap you just read.


	26. Please, Don't Let Me Go

**Remembering Winter**

Chapter 26: Please, Don't Let Me Go.

--A/N--

Sorry, Sorry. I know I promised this chapter to be out weeks ago. But, alas, school started, and my writing time was reduced to weekends. So, for getting this chapter out and the inevitable lateness of future chapters, I made this one extra long and quite delightful!

I've been studying Shakespeare lately, and I hope that he has left an impression on me and my writing! Please let me know what you think!

Thanks for reading, yo!

Song of the Chapter: Meteor Shower – Owl City

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach.

–

"So... can you tell me again why we're standing outside, in front of our building, on a very busy sidewalk, in the middle of winter? My ass is frozen. I swear it is, Toshiro. Isn't yours? You aren't wearing anything except your shirt! What's the matter with you?"

"Akito." Hitsugaya muttered tiredly. "Never go a day without talking again."

"What?" Akito said, in a tone a few octaves higher than his usual voice.

Hitsugaya scowled in preparation to tell Akito that if he ever came to work with a hangover again, he would be thrown out a window, when he heard the faint murmur of a powerful engine. Akito seemed to take no notice, only stood there and looked at Hitsugaya with a very puzzled look on his face.

Soon enough, a sleek bike came into view; speeding through the traffic, weaving between cars at a dizzying speed.

Dizzying to anyone other than a Shinigami, that is.

Hitsugaya leaned against a mailbox on the sidewalk casually. Yesterday when he took Hinamori to the dealership she was very intent on buying something that was made for speed. Which, of course, was insane.

However, the more he thought about it, the more he realized that he, too, enjoyed vehicles that allowed him to fly at a rapid pace. And they were not the only two with this similarity, as other Shinigami were intrigued with these inventions. It was rumored that Kenpachi once raced a bullet train, even.

And then it finally made sense. Shinigami were so used to flying everywhere using Shun-po, that even while they were in the living world they thrived on speed for their traveling. Hinamori was no different, she just preferred a dangerous motorcycle over a Ferrari.

Sighing, he dug into his pocket as the black and silver bike pulled up to the curb, the rider in a full-faced helmet, and head-to-toe in tight riding clothes. "Here." He murmured to Akito, handing him back his credit card. "Don't worry- she insisted on paying for most of it herself."

Numbly, Akito reached over and took the card, not taking his eyes of the rider. "Are you saying...?"

"Yup."

"Oh... dear."

The rider, still straddling the bike, reached up and pulled the helmet off, letting long waves of auburn hair fall to their shoulders. Turning, she beamed at her two friends. "What do you think?"

Hitsugaya was over the shock of it all, however Akito simply stood there, his mouth partly open before leaning over to Hitsugaya. "What part did I pay for?" he whispered, still not taking his eyes off of her, "Please tell me it was those skintight pants."

Smirking, Hitsugaya followed his eyes, "No... I bought those."

Akito turned to him incredulously.

"What?" he whispered defensively, "Safety purposes. I'd say you paid for the engine."

Akito silently slumped at his side, knowing that he had forked over the cash willingly for the speed of the bike, whereas Hitsugaya had paid for her to look pretty damn good while on it. Originally, it had been for safety. It just so happened that the tight black pants made her look, well, pretty sexy. Kind of an added bonus.

"Well?" Hinamori stood in front of them, her hands on her hips.

Hitsugaya scowled at her in his usual manner as Akito slid his hands into his pockets, still looking at her slightly perplexed.

"I... uh-excuse me." Akito muttered and quickly turned away, hurriedly walking into the building. Hinamori's eyes followed, confusion etched in their depths.

"Don't take it personally." Hitsugaya muttered in his usual husky voice.

"Did... did he not like it...?" Hinamori's voice was soft with a hint of hurt in her tone.

Shaking his head, Hitsugaya took a step closer. "No, that's not it. In fact," he paused, letting a killer smile spread across his face, "I think he liked it a bit _too_ much."

Innocently, Hinamori looked up at him with a very confused face. "What do you mean?"

Choking back a throw of laughter, Hitsugaya only shook his head. "Never mind. Now let's get inside. We have a lot to do today."

–

And did they.

Hinamori quickly changed out of her riding pants and slid on a pair of gray slacks before she was taken over with work. She spent most of the day in Hitsugaya's office with him to personally take care of many things on the spot, however there were so many papers she found herself sitting on the floor surrounded by them. She was thankful for the incredible amount of work she had so she didn't have time to ogle at him as usual. Not that simply being in the same room as him didn't naturally raise her body heat, but she was able to avoid the heart-fluttering situation she was put in by simply looking at him.

"Hinamori?"

Jolting, she turned to her boss who's annoyed look was laced with a teasing smile. "Hai?"

"You were staring off into space."

"N-No I wasn't! I was just thinking about..." She glanced down at the paper beside her, "about... Harvard!"

"Harvard?" He questioned, a brow arching wickedly, "The school in the United States?"

"Y-Yeah...?" Hinamori found herself confused, as she had thought Harvard was a person. She found out moments later that Harvard was, in fact, the school, and a current lawyer had graduated from there and was now applying to work under Hitsugaya himself. Or so his resume said...

Frowning slightly, she glanced out of the corner of her eye at Hitsugaya. His eyes were focused his laptop in front of him, his fingers clicking away at the keys. He indeed looked very powerful, she easily admitted that, and yet...

His eyes rose and met hers. Feeling her face flush, she turned back to the papers that were scattered on the floor in front of her.

"Hinamori?"

"Hai?" She allowed herself to turn and face him.

A slight grin tugged at the corner of his mouth. "What were you thinking about this time?"

For a brief moment, Hinamori considered making up a pitiful excuse again, but decided her question was in need of an answer.

"I... well, I was just curious about something."

"What might that be?"

"Well..." She shifted slightly, "I'm not trying to insult you or anything, of course. But I was just wondering... what exactly do you _do_? Here, that is."

At first she had been worried that she had overstepped a boundary as Hitsugaya leaned back in his chair, his face shadowed. But as his eyes met hers, she could see the hint of a smile hiding in his eyes, only for her.

"I used to be a lawyer myself." he started, his eyes focusing on a spot on the wall over her shoulder, "I was known for having a sharp mind, and always knowing the best and most efficient way to approach a case and, inevitably, win it."

That didn't surprise her. "How did you decide to become a lawyer?" She asked, and his eyes lowered to hers.

Shrugging, a slight smile brightened his eyes. "I didn't. Akito did. He was a lawyer when I met him and he told me to take some classes and apply to work here, which went under a different name at that time."

"Before you and Masahori-Sama took over the company?"

Nodding, he continued, "We always liked to take on cases together. I was always better at figuring out the facts, while Akito was able to use his charismatic nature in court. It was easy to win over a jury with some solid facts and a smooth talker."

Hinamori knew just how easy it was to be won over by the words of Akito.

"So," He continued,"when the head of the firm decided it was time for him to leave, he wanted to leave the company to us. I guess he felt that by having the both of us lead it, each with our own skills, the company would be in good hands. Which, to this day, I would assume it is."

Hinamori nodded, "Yes, I would have to say he made a good choice."

"Thank you, Hinamori-San."

Inwardly, she twitched slightly. Somehow, he had gotten in the habit of simply calling her 'Hinamori', and she found that 'Hinamori-_San_' felt like a slap in the face. A reminder of their professional relationship.

"But anyway, to answer your question, I do much of what I used to. Lawyers of our firm are always able to contact me whenever they need assistance on a case. I also take care of the business. Investors, foreign relations... those are all my work as well."

"And Masahori-Sama?" Hinamori questioned, wondering what Akito could possibly accomplish between his flirting and barging in Hitsugaya's office.

"I like to tell myself that he's simply keeping his charismatic skills sharp by practicing on his secretaries daily."

Hinamori had to laugh at that. He was deadpanned serious, yet she managed to find humor in it. It was simply... Hitsugaya. She didn't know how, but she just knew it. Looking up at him, she found him sitting up high behind his desk, his being and aura claiming authority and respect. There was great familiarity in him; his actions, his way of speaking... even the way he held himself.

A sharp intake of breath escaped from her lips as something in the back of her mind clicked. She stared, wide-eyed up at Hitsugaya who returned her look with a concerned brow.

"Hinamori?" His voice was quiet, "Are you-"

"Wait here." She said steadily as she stood and quickly ran from the room, nearly running into Akito as she flew the door open, leaving him rather surprised.

His eyes looking after her briefly, he looked at Hitsugaya questioningly. "What... was that?"

Hitsugaya's own eyes were wide with surprise as he looked at his friend. "No idea."

–

Moments passed and silence formed between the two, each silently wondering what on earth came over her.

Hitsugaya could feel his heart pick up in his chest. Something had definitely dawned in her mind, he saw it flash in her eyes and he felt her riatsu sharpen briefly. Was it something about... him? Could she possibly have remembered something?

He was on the edge of his seat when she calmly walked back into the room, determination burning in her eyes.

Walking right up to his desk, he could feel her eyes cutting into his. "Can you do something for me?" She asked, her voice soft, slightly shaky.

"I... yes." He murmured, finding his own voice unsteady.

It was then that he noticed that there was a scrap of white fabric in her hand. She held it out to him over his desk, determination still flaring in her eyes. "This may seem kind of odd, but can you please put that on for me?"

Finally tearing his eyes away from hers, Hitsugaya glanced down to her outstretched hand clasping the fabric, not overlooking the slight tremble emitting from her hand. Curiously, he took the fabric from her and held it out in front of him to a heart-stopping realization.

It was a captain's haori.

"Hinamori," He started, trying his best to sound unaffected, "what is-?"

"-Please." She cut him off, her eyes very serious.

Glancing back at the haori in his hands, he recognized the Fifth Division's number on the back and concluded that it was Hinamori's own haori. She must have ran off to retrieve it from her shinigami form. Staring at the haori in his hands, his mind raced to try and decide how he should approach this. It was obvious that she hadn't figured out who he was, just had a thought that he resembled someone who would be a captain naturally. If he put it on... there was a possibility that she could recall him for who he really was.

But was that what he wanted?

He had erased her memories of himself from her mind willingly, or so he had thought. Never mind the fact that it didn't work, she still didn't remember him. And that had been what he had decided for the both of them. He had forcibly accepted the fact that it was the best option for her. And now that she stood before him, he knew that she was happy. A new life belonged to her now, a life that fit her perfectly and let her be … herself. A life that had never been available to her before, back when he was in her life.

It was difficult, but he had given it up, accepted it, and now it was time to strengthen his resolve that never seemed to cease to crumble.

Turning back to her, he set his face firmly into an annoyed scowl. "What is this?"

"It's a haori."

"And why should I put this on?" He narrowed his eyes at her.

"Because it would ease my mind."

"Ano..." Akito's voice timidly joined in as he stood to the side of Hitsugaya's desk, between the two of them, "Hinamori-San... I could put it on if it means that much to you..."

Her eyes flickered towards Akito before directly staring back at Hitsugaya. "Thank you... but it has to be him."

"Toushiro..." Akito calmly spoke to his friend, "Just do it. I know you're a stubborn ass, trust me. But this isn't a very big deal."

_If only he knew how big of a deal this really was..._ Hitsugaya couldn't help but think in direction to Akito, who was most certainly, very confused at this situation.

"Please." Hinamori's voice cut through his thoughts. Her brows were furrowed in deep thought and concentration, as if something had come to light in her mind that she was desperately trying to not loose. Determination that had once been in her eyes had faded into desperation and disarray. The deep amethyst of her eyes pleading with him to give her this.

With a strangled sigh, he slid the haori over his black shirt and pants and instantly, a feeling of belonging came over him. It had sleeves and was slightly shorter than his own, but the same feeling of strength and authority emitted potently from it. A feeling that he was very accustomed to.

That feeling, however, weakened as he allowed himself to turn and face her. Instead, anxiety claimed his nerves as her eyes regarded him.

Neither said nothing as they simply stared at each other, each dwelling in their own thoughts. He could feel her eyes burn into him as she looked him over, searching desperately for an answer. Not even allowing himself to blink, he watched her every emotion that crossed her face, not sure what to expect, or what he wanted to see.

Raising her eyes, she looked up into his own, a thousand questions in her violet depths. She swallowed hard and looked down before her eyes widened briefly and she quickly reached for a chair behind her, resulting in both Akito and Hitsugaya rushing towards her.

"Hinamori-San?" Akito questioned in panic as he kneeled before her as she sat on the chair, "What happened? Are you okay?"

Her breathing was hard and labored, her eyes dazed, staring straight ahead.

"Hinamori-San?!" Akito continued to cry as she didn't answer him before turning to Hitsugaya who was standing slightly to the side, "What happened?!"

Hitsugaya's own eyes were wide as he looked at Hinamori, her rapid breaths escaping her mouth at an insane rate. _What happened? She almost fainted again, but why? _He glanced down at the haori still on his body. _Was it this? _

"Hitsu-..." Hinamori choked out, causing Akito to look at Hitsugaya, questions in his eyes.

Before he even had time to think, he was beside her, sliding the haori from his shoulders. "I'm right here, Hinamori." He spoke calmly, defying the fear that had risen inside of him. Surely Hinamori's fear was greater than his own; he needed to be solid for her. Kneeling, he lowered himself to her side as Akito still sat in front of her. She reached a trembling hand out to him and he clasped it between two of his own. Instantly, her breathing slowed and her eyes slid closed.

"Hitsugaya..." She murmured so quietly, Hitsugaya wondered if he had imagined it.

"I'm here."

Her eyes slid open and looked at him, a dazed coloring in them. A brief smile lifted the corners of her mouth tiredly. "I know you are. You always are."

Not sure what she meant by that, Hitsugaya signaled for Akito to leave. Reluctantly, his friend obeyed, moving to leave as Hitsugaya claimed the spot in front of her. "Are you okay?"

She nodded. "Yes. I am. I'm sorry... I don't know what came over me..." Her eyes grew brighter and color flooded her face once more.

"Don't be sorry. Does this happen often?"

She shook her head, "No, not really. The last time that it happened was... was the first time I met you, Hitsugaya."

He would have to be a moron not to see a connection there. Frowning, he stood, letting her hand drop from his. "Is there anything I can get you?"

She shook her head again, lashed covering her eyes as she looked at her lap.

"Are you sure you aren't hungry?" He asked her as he slipped a menu out of his desk and held it out to her.

She bit her lip briefly before taking the menu from him and reading it through, her eyes bright at the gourmet food listed before her. "But it's all so expensive." She murmured, her eyes scanning the prices, no doubt.

"Do you seriously think that is an issue here?" Hitsugaya asked her, arching a teasing brow.

–

They ate and talked over their luxurious dinner that Hitsugaya ordered from a cafe down the street. Hinamori chose some spicy tuna sushi and after she mentioned it, Hitsugaya ordered the same for himself. Except without the spiciness. He had never liked spicy food.

Over dinner, Hinamori mostly chatted away as Hitsugaya listened, occasionally responding. Mostly, he was concentrating on her. She had nearly fainted for the second time... It was a very brief spell, yet- it was very traumatic. Her riatsu had fared briefly before she collapsed, and then practically disappeared while she was regaining consciousness. It was now back to normal; very faint, but detectable from a close distance, and she seemed back to her normal self again as well.

"Hitsugaya-Sama?"

"Hmn?" He jerked his head up from his plate to find Hinamori looking at him with a smile on her face.

"Now who's staring off into space?" She teased briefly before standing and collecting their dishes from the take-out. "I just asked how long I was expected to stay here tonight."

Hitsugaya stood and took the dishes from her, handing them to a maid waiting outside the door. "You have plans?"

"No." She said, shaking her head, "I was just curious. It's already seven and it looks as though we still have a bit of papers to go through." She motioned towards the piles on Hitsugaya's desk and on the floor.

"Well then," He said as he walked back behind his desk, "We had better get started."

–

By nine-thirty Hitsugaya insisted that Hinamori not sit on the floor anymore.

She hadn't been complaining, but she didn't disregard the idea of sitting in a chair, proving to Hitsugaya that she must be aching somewhere from the hours spent on his floor.

"Maybe we should just move my desk in here..." She offered quietly, shyly.

She had even seemed somewhat surprised when Hitsugaya nodded briefly and agreed.

So Hinamori kicked off her stilettos and Hitsugaya rolled up his sleeves as they began pushing and pulling the desk into Hitsugaya's office. Thankfully, they caught Akito on his way out, and he offered a hand almost instantly.

Somehow they managed to squeeze Hinamori's wide and heavy desk through the smaller-than-usual door frame and into Hitsugaya's roomy office. It took three sets of hands, lots of wiggling and shifting and pushing, and forty minutes- but they did it.

"Never make me do that again." Akito said, glaring at the desk menacingly.

"So my desk is permanently in here now?" Hinamori asked, looking from Akito to Hitsugaya, who stood to the side, slightly scowling.

Hitsugaya shrugged, "It would be rather convenient. We can leave this one in here, but we'll get you a new one to put out in the main office. Thankfully you have a laptop instead of a desktop so you can just transfer it from where you're working."

"Mou..." Akito pouted, "If Hinamori-San is in here all the time, I wont be able to get away with flirting with her anymore!" He sent her a wink which she rolled her eyes at.

"Hinamori's time is much to precious to be wasted on a fool like you." Hitsugaya retorted, much to Hinamori and Akito's surprise.

"Okay..." Hinamori cut in before something else would be said, "We have work to do. Care to help, Masahori-Sama?"

–

Around midnight, Hitsugaya looked up from his laptop.

Akito, who had been at the feet of Hinamori like a dog all night was no where to be seen. Glancing down at the floor under her desk, Hitsugaya expected to find him sleeping there.

Instead, he traced Hinamori's legs up to her face which he couldn't see very well under a blanket of auburn.

A small smile fell on Hitsugaya's lips. She was beautiful when she slept.

Her head was rested on her arm, and as she shifted slightly in her slumber, he hair fell from her face, exposing her dreaming eyes.

With each breath, Hitsugaya inhaled deep, satisfying nostalgia. He had held Hinamori as she slept many times, and she still had the most beautiful, angelic face as she dreamed.

Not being able to resist, and not wanting to, Hitsugaya stood and softly walked over to her. Gently, he stroked her silky hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. A lulling smile caressed her sleeping lips as his hand then traced down her jawbone and gently grazed down the intoxicating skin of her neck. Her gentle scent of peach and warm vanilla wrapped itself around him, forcing Hitsugaya to breathe it in deeply.

With a groan, Hitsugaya closed his eyes and out of pure strength, turned away from her, nearly running into Akito who was leaning against his desk. His arms were crossed against his chest, but his eyes were soft and knowing. His mouth saying nothing, his eyes said it all.

"Akito." Hitsugaya whispered, not wanting to wake Hinamori, but his eyes were slightly wider than usual, revealing his surprise and embarrassment.

"Toushiro..." It was somewhat uncommon that Akito spoke Hitsugaya's first name, proving that Akito was very serious with what he was about to say. "You're going to need to tell me someday."

Glancing over his shoulder at the still-dreaming girl, Hitsugaya turned back to Akito, knowing his face held more emotion than Akito had ever seen.

Something flickered in Akito's eyes before evaporating as he nodded. "It's okay. I'm not asking for you to tell me everything right now, and I don't need you to. But I know that there's more here than you are telling me."

Nervously, Hitsugaya glanced down at the ground. "Why would you think that?"

Akito let out a breath of laughter and Hitsugaya looked up to witness a soft smile tease at the corner of his mouth. "It's in the way you look at her."

–

An hour or so later, Hitsugaya did just that as he looked over at her half-asleep form nestled in the passenger seat of his car. Curled into the soft black leather of the seat, she looked serene and soft enveloped in Hitsugaya's suit jacket that he had draped over her shoulders. Creamy light from the passing streetlights blotted her luminous skin as they flew past. A deep sigh escaped her lips as she opened her eyes slowly and turned her head heavily to look at Hitsugaya.

"Remind me, why are you taking me home?" She asked sleepily, her voice hiding a hint of husky dreaminess behind it.

Hitsugaya stared straight at the road in front of him as he replied, "Because you are exhausted and I will not permit you riding your bike home like that. This exit?"

"Yes." She replied, swallowing the sleepiness that lined her throat. "I could have taken a taxi. Or the subway."

"Being on the subway this late is probably more dangerous than riding you motorcycle sound asleep." He replied, his hands tightening on the steering wheel at the thought of the people who she would be putting herself in the direct path of.

"What makes you say that?" She asked. She was much to innocent for her own good.

Hitsugaya allowed his eyes to roll over to her ingenuously curious face before looking away quickly. "Never mind," he muttered, quite happy that he had decided to drive her home safely.

"Oh. Okay." She murmured as she turned her head to look out the windshield once more. "Well, thank you for taking me home. It's very kind of you."

"Sure."

The intimate interior of the Lamborghini made Hitsugaya feel as though he was suffocating. Trapped, he had no choice but to inhale her addicting scent, to listen to her stirringly sweet voice, or to grip the steering wheel so tight in fear that he might touch her. Stealing a glance out of the corner of his eye, she seemed unaffected, curled up in the seat and looking out the window at the city passing by.

"Do you live near here?" She asked, curiously. Her face turned to his once more and a flicker of surprise waved over her eyes as she caught him already looking at her.

Quickly, his eyes darted back to the road. "Not really."

"Okay..."

He could tell that she was getting slightly discouraged at the lacking of his answers, or his resistance to hold a conversation with her. However, there was only so much he could think about at once, and combining a conversation with the threatening tension in the car would be nearly impossible. Her scent alone tied up a side of his brain with it's poison.

"Turn left here." Hinamori directed as Hitsugaya came to a stoplight.

Glancing around at the buildings, Hitsugaya could already tell that this wasn't the best side of town. Small shops lined the street level, most tagged with graffiti or gang symbols. The sidewalk was cracked and bits of litter had wedged themselves in the sewer grates. As they slowly passed down the street, Hitsugaya glanced up at the height of brick above the small shops, the apartments. The brick was faded and dirty, windows were cracked, and air conditioners leaned forbiddingly out of some. As his eyes drifted back to the street, he swerved quickly to avoid a beat-up and rusty Buick who's driver was most likely drunk.

"Turn right into that alley there." Hinamori pointed out the window to a dark pathway, lit only by a flickering street lamp.

Hitsugaya wasn't sure he really wanted to go in there. Questioningly, he glanced over at Hinamori, who seemed to be unaffected by the horror of her alleyway.

In a quick and swift motion, he swung his sleek car into a parking space and began to get out of the car when he noticed Hinamori wasn't.

"Why are you getting out?" She asked, her body frozen in the position of unbuckling her seat belt.

"Because I said that I would take you home, and you aren't home until you are inside your apartment."

She stared at him for a moment before laughing. "You're silly!"

"No," He corrected, "I just like to do a job fully and correctly."

As they got out and were walking to her building, a man stood nearby smoking a cigarette. He was leaning against a beat-up car and couldn't tear his eyes off of Hitsugaya's Lamborghini. Once he noticed Hitsugaya's deathly stare, he quickly mumbled "nice car" and disappeared into his own.

Hinamori laughed as she witnessed the exchange. "Protective of your cars, are you?"

Hitsugaya shrugged. "I don't like other people touching what's mine."

"Oh I see!" Hinamori teased, "we have a Mr. Possessive over here!"

_You don't know the half of it_, he thought, inching closer to her as a shadowed man caught his eye across the way.

–

Hinamori was definitely not disappointed with her service. She had been tempted to teasingly tip him as he said goodnight at her door, but decided against it. He had enough bloody money.

"Well, this is it." She murmured, suddenly nervous as she slid her key in the lock and pushed open her door, revealing her small apartment. Stepping aside, she let him in.

Watching his every movement, his every expression, she tried to understand what he was thinking as he examined her apartment. Surely, he was used to a more luxurious style palate.

Turquoise eyes met hers, a lustrous smile hidden deep within them. "It's nice."

"You like it?" She felt herself beaming.

He turned his body to face hers. "Sure."

It was then that she realized how close they were standing in the intimate room, illuminated only by soft yellow lights scattered, frighting away the twilight. The underlying darkness seemed to make his eyes enliven, setting something stirring deep in her stomach. A husky scent of pure male with a cool minty edge emitted from his body and into her lungs and through her veins. The scent enslaved her, forced her to greedily draw in more and more in a desperate attempt to quench her burning thirst.

As if having her lungs intoxicated by him wasn't enough, he soon took over her eyes, forcing them to glaze over as she burned the tall expanse of his body to her memory. Long, strong legs, white shirt casually unbuttoned at the neck and bottom, revealing tantalizing neck, hands coolly delved in his pockets... She knew that this was the desire of many women. And here he was, standing in front of her, in her apartment.

Just for one moment, she wanted to pretend that he was hers. That he _could_ be hers.

He was human.

He was strong, demanding, resilient, beautiful, and the sight of him sent her heart offbeat...

But he was still a human. And she was still a Shinigami.

Not like he would want to be with her anyway, when he could have the pick of any supermodel or actress in the world, she couldn't help but think as a wave of awareness washed over her.

There was no point, clearly. He was a human, and a very gorgeous one at that. Those two reasons alone forbid her from him. (She wouldn't realize until later that there was one more reason: Adachi.)

Hitsugaya seemed to notice the drastic change in her mood from elated to depressed, and he sent her an inquiring glance, a gleam of worry in his deep eyes.

Forcing a small grin, she shook her head and was about to ask him if he would care for some tea, when a small silver kitten began weaving itself between her legs.

"Shiro!"

"What?!"

Her head shot up to Hitsugaya. His eyes were wide, his mouth partly open as though he was in shock over something. _What is the matter with him...?_

"Shiro..." She repeated slowly as she bent down to pick up her kitten, "is my cat."

The distress on Hitsugaya's face eased as he questioningly regarded the cat. His shocked eyes faded into amusement as the cat stared back up at him.

"You have a cat."

"I do. Be careful, he's got a temper. He bit the milkman two days ago."

Hitsugaya sent her a worried glance over Shiro's head as she held him out in front of her.

"I see." He was looking at her cat strangely, as if he was trying to analyze it. Shiro wasn't making a fuss over him, either.

"You can try to pick him up if you want," She said as she set Shiro on the floor, "He seems to be okay with you. You should feel really special!" She laughed as she righted herself in front of him.

"Thank you, but I'll pass. I should be going, I think." He looked at his watch.

Hinamori nodded. "It's late. I'm sorry you had to drive all the way down here, I'm sure you live nowhere near here."

"I insisted, there is no need to apologize."

"Well, I know that! But I feel bad!"

Hitsugaya rolled his eyes. "I think you are over-tired."

She scowled up at him. "I am not! I think I would know if I was!"

His eyes looked down at her, the deep turquoise shimmering in amusement.

"And don't give me that look!" She pointed up at him accusingly.

"What look?"

"That one!"

"This one?"

"Well, now you changed it!"

"You sure are hard to please."

"Oh, shut up!"

"Is that any way to talk to your boss?"

"You aren't 'my boss' at the moment!"

"Oh, I'm not?" He took a dangerous step closer to her.

"N-No...?" She was unsure of her own words at the nearness of his body to hers. The cool, minty scent that was only his seeped into her lungs, making her thoughts fuzzy.

Slowly but confidently, his hand reached out to her and cupped her face, lifting her violet eyes to his as he bent over her. Leaning down closer, his mouth hovered over hers so closely that she could feel his cool breaths tingling her lips. Softening, she let her eyes slide shut as she felt his other hand cradle the back of her head, loosing itself in her hair.

She ached. She ached so desperately for him. Yearning, her entire form desired to be crushed against him to be protected and claimed.

"Sleep well, my Hinamori." A cool whisper graced her lips, and then he was gone.

–

Driving home after leaving Hinamori like that was painful as Hitsugaya put forth every effort to restrain himself from turning around and going back to her. It didn't help that the casket of his car still held the sweet essence of Hinamori, threaded in the confined air.

Reflexively, his hands tightened on the steering wheel. He had seen the way she looked up at him, it wasn't the first time he had received that heavy-lidded glaze of desire, and he knew what it meant. Many times, he had received that desiring look from blonde models or aspiring actresses, and it had brought him slight amusement at the impulsive hunger in their eyes.

However, this time was different. Hinamori's eyes had revealed a deep, wine-colored thirst for him. Waves of crashing emotions had overwhelmed him as he grasped that there was more in Hinamori's genuine eyes than petty infatuation, there was something much more abysmal.

His heart wanted to tell him it was love.

_No, no no no. Don't even go there. That was years ago... that part of Hinamori has died._

Or had it? Just because her memory lacked her past, that didn't mean that her body had forgotten. Could she still remember his touch, his lips?

Shaking his heat in a worthless attempt to rid himself of those weary thoughts, he did his best to concentrate on the road, finding himself going forty miles per hour over the speed limit. Mentally berating himself for letting her control him in so many ways, he lifted his foot off the accelerator until he was only a few over, setting his cruise control then so it wouldn't happen again.

He was done trying to convince himself that it didn't matter, that he didn't care for her. The moment he saw her, every feeling she had ever awoken in him was resurrected and had not rested since. Gradually, he discovered that every nerve went ablaze when she was within touching distance, and that she occupied his thoughts consistently even when she was not around. He couldn't even escape her in his dreams! Slowly, he had lost control of himself to her, and even attempting to gain domination over it was draining.

Knowing he had fallen hard, he wondered if he would ever be able to pick himself back up again.

Suddenly, a shrieking ring echoed in the car from Hitsugaya's hollow radar that was in his pocket. By keeping control of the wheel with his knee, he dug in his pockets until he found it and flipped it open. A small, flashing red dot appeared on the screen briefly before disappearing.

Narrowing his brows at his phone, Hitsugaya snapped it shut and opened it again as if to reset it's brain. There was no way a hollow could be killed that fast, the alarm had just started going off. Unless a Shinigami was already transformed and had their sword drawn as the hollow appeared, there was simply no way.

Thankful that there was barely any traffic on the highway at two in the morning, Hitsugaya seldom glanced at the stretch of road in front of him as he stared at the blank screen on his phone. He had a bad feeling...

Suddenly, the red spot appeared again, quite a bit more south than where it had appeared before. Within moments, it had disappeared again.

"It's trying to hide it's riatsu." Hitsugaya concluded, murmuring at the blank map briefly before realization crashed into him. The hollow was headed south, right towards Hinamori.

"Shit!" With one rushed movement, Hitsugaya drove into the median and dove into the lanes of traffic going the opposite way, back to Hinamori. His foot found his friendly gas pedal and he floored it, ignoring speed limit signs and other drivers as he passed them. It had taken him half an hour from Hinamori's to get to where he was, but if he sped up... his foot pushed down on the pedal harder as his phone went off once more. Once again, the hollow had moved closer to Hinamori, and disappeared. However, this time it stayed long enough for his phone to collect statistics on the monster.

Hitsugaya paled as he read them, and prayed that Hinamori knew what was coming. From the looks of it, it was a Menos Grande. A Vasto Lorde at that. Was it one of Aizen's? Was he seriously trying to kill her again? Would Hinamori be able to take it on by herself?

Reaching for his phone, he froze. Even if he called Soul Society for back-up, they wouldn't be able to arrive for a while. There was no time. Feeling in his pocket, he found his Soul Candy and left it in there for accessibility.

He didn't want Hinamori to see him as a Shinigami, but he knew the choice that he would make if he was put in that situation.

Glancing in his rear view mirror, he was surprised to see that someone was going as fast as him on the highway. Then he saw the red and blue flashing lights and heard the siren.  
"Fuck! Not now!", Hitsugaya desperately cried as he began slowing down. He knew he was guilty of speeding. Surprisingly, he had never gotten a ticket before, and _of course_ his first one had to be now.

However, the lights and sirens flew past him as he pulled over to the side of the road. With surprise, he watched the parade of fire trucks and ambulances race past him and up the exit Hinamori had pointed out to Hitsugaya earlier as the one to her home. Dread overtook him as he numbly watched them for a moment before speeding after them, praying that he was over-reacting.

Once he followed them up to the front of her apartment, he realized he wasn't overreacting at all.

After haphazardly parking in the middle of the street, he got out of his car and looked up at the building. Flames lapped out of windows, illuminating the night with a fearful red overcast. Parts of the cracked brick had already crumbled, leaving the building unsteady. The entire scene reeked of Hollow, Hitsugaya realized with dread. Fireman began hooking up hoses in a desperate attempt to quench the hunger of the flames, and some grabbed axes and helmets in preparation to go inside and face the flames. People poured out of the front door of the building, screaming in fear and children crying. Everyone was shouting questions at each other, no one knew what happened. Fear hung heavy in the air as many searched in the sea of people for their family and friends, each one praying desperately that they were there.

Hitsugaya's eyes darted around as he forced himself into the mass of frenzied people. Hinamori had to be there somewhere. Dammit, she _had_ to be.

Doing his best to block everything else away, he stood still and concentrated. A small trace of her riatsu was all he needed. His breathing was heavy and labored in panic, his heart threatened to beat out of his chest. All he needed was a _shred _of hope_, something _to hold on to.

_Come on, come on, come _on! _Dammit, Hinamori! Don't do this! _

There was no scent of her riatsu.

His eyes flew open once more in panic as he surged through the crowd of people, searching everywhere. Eyes never resting, they flickered to every face, every head that even resembled hers. Each time, a ray of hope rose in him, only to be extinguished at the realization that it wasn't her. His eyes darted back to the entrance of the apartment building. The stream of people flooding out had stopped, and a few brave firefighters had gone in. His only hope now was that they would bring her out.

Hopefully alive.

With a ripple of fear spreading through his body, he reached for his Soul Candy as a hand rested on his shoulder. Spinning, he turned his head to see a man with a concerned look on his face. "Who are you looking for?" He asked, his tone sympathetic.

Hitsugaya swallowed. "Hinamori. Hinamori Momo."

"Hinamori..." The man murmured in thought, then his eyes dawned. "Hinamori. Apartment seventeen-ten." He looked up to where apartment seventeen-ten was, and Hitsugaya followed his eyes. It was on the top floor, and the roof was gouged out over it, flames leaping out of the open crevice.

Hitsugaya's heart froze in his chest. "...Hinamori"

"I'm sorry..." The man replied sadly ad he turned to Hitsugaya, who was still staring up at the flames, before vanishing to help someone else discover the fate of their loved ones.

It felt as though all the breath had been forced from his lungs, and that he had to demand his heart to beat. He felt heavy and weary as he turned away from the flaming building. He would go home and try to sleep. Hopefully, when he woke- this would all be a nightmare. It had to be.

Heavily, his feet carried him a few steps before he abruptly halted. Something flickered deep inside his heart, which began to beat wildly with hope as the aura of her riatsu wound itself around him, pulling him towards it's source. He swiftly turned around to face the building and moments later, Hinamori stumbled out into the night air, a fire fighter's hand resting on her shoulders to keep her steady.

It only took a moment for the sight of her to register in his mind before he ran to her and had lifted her into his arms.

"Hinamori! Oh my God... Hinamori!" He cried as he buried his face in her hair. Tears pricked at his eyes at his relief, and he didn't try to repress them. She was alive... _alive._ Setting her down on the ground, but not releasing her from his arms, he looked into her face.

"Toushiro..." She spoke his name as fresh tears streamed down her face, leaving white trails down her smoke-colored face. Her bottom lip quivered as the tears began pouring down and sobs choked from her lungs. "Toushiro! I was so scared... I don't know what happened! I...I..." Her knees gave out from under her and Hitsugaya caught her and instantly held her against his him, one arm cradling her knees up to his chest. Her head rested against his chest, cradled by his shoulder, and she quietly sobbed her fears away while clinging to him.

Hitsugaya turned to the fireman who stood nearby. "Thank you. I... I don't even know what to say..." He was well aware that any trace of his usual set face was gone, leaving himself exposed to any emotion that arrived.

The man shook his head. "It's my job, Sir. But, you are welcome. I think your little lady is going to be just fine once she recovers from the shock."

Hitsugaya felt very stupid suddenly for not thinking of any injuries that Hinamori might have had. Glancing down, he gave her a once-over, and despite for a few cuts and scrapes and a lot of soot, she seemed fine. He was very adept at finding injuries just by glancing.

"What... what happened to her?" He asked the man, wondering why Hinamori hadn't gotten out by herself.

The man shook his head. "I can't say I know the answer to that. I found her in the hallway outside her room. I thought she might've been unconscious, so I picked her up and carried her down the stairs. Once we got to the second floor she started squirming around before coming out of it. She was really scared, that one."

Looking down at Hinamori, many questions came to his mind, but none that mattered then.

"Thank you again." He said to the fireman.

"Yep. Oh," the firefighter pointed over to a ambulance, "They can take care of her over there and make sure nothing's seriously wrong with her. If she's all good, they'll give you a hotel voucher so there's someplace for you to stay."

"Thank you." Hitsugaya said softly as he turned and began walking to his car, "But I'm taking care of this one."

Gently, he carried her to his car and opened the passenger door and set her on the seat. She still clung to his shirt, and looked up at him with teary eyes that told him not to let her go.

"It's okay now." He spoke softly, kneeling on the pavement in front her. He brushed her hair out of her face and held her cheek in his palm. "I'm going to take you home."

"Your home?" She asked, wearily.

Hitsugaya nodded. "Yes. And I'm going to take care of you."

Tears welled in Hinamori's eyes as a small, grateful smile blossomed on her chapped lips.

Leaning forward, Hitsugaya pressed his lips against her forehead. "I promise." Briefly, he rested his forehead against hers while he blinked away the tears that threatened to claw down his face.

Having her alive was the greatest blessing he had ever known.

He stood, shutting her door, and walked to his side of the car. As soon as they began moving towards home, a small hand reached out in the darkness for the shelter of his own. Enveloping her hand within his, he brought it up for a slight kiss before resting them both in her lap, where they stayed, intertwined, for the entire ride.

--A/N--

Thirteen pages. Thirteen! I have been anticipating this chapter a bit, I think that is why I was so discouraged by last chapter's filler-ness. As always, reviews are loved, adored, sometimes cried over, and are always replied to. I really appreciate them, guys! (And I would say that for thirteen pages, I deserve 'em!)

The song of the chapter is one of my favorites, as I adore Owl City. (Concert in 7 days!)

Thanks again to everyone who stops by to read this! I love you!


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